TDI, Season Two!
by janey1097
Summary: All the campers are in, and ready to win! Old campers coming back, same old Chris, same old Chef, but...new challenges, new campers, and of course...more insanity! Join them as they find friends, foes, and maybe even...love?
1. The first 11 reluctantly arrive!

After the season finale, ratings for Total Drama Island went through the roof, millions of viewers demanding more. Half of them wanted the old cast to return, the other half wanted to see new campers with new challenges! So, they decided to compromise. Old campers would co-host every other challenge, while a brand new cast came to brave the Wawanaka camp ground.

Still, after seeing the dirty campgrounds, the somewhat-insane host Chris, the life-threatening challenges, and the so-called 'food' that Chef cooked, many were reluctant to sign up.

That's when the prize money tripled. That's right, instead of competing for 100,000 dollars, the new campers would fight their way for 300,000 dollars!

So, who will win? What campers might find love on this island? Will more alliances be made? Will there be another evil witch like Heather? And what kinds of torture will _Izzy_ put them through?

Who knows? We'll just have to find out!

**_Three Months Later:_**

The letters were in, the embarrassing audition tapes were seen, and the twenty-two campers were picked! Much to the disappointment of Chris, the campers knew exactly what they were coming to; an insanely crappy summer camp. (Unlike last season where the old contestants thought they were coming to a five-star resort.)

Now, on the shores of Camp Wawanaka, the first eleven campers were about to arrive, trying to enjoy the luxury cruiser for as long as they could. Unlike last season, it was a rainy, gloomy day.

They probably should've taken that as an omen.

--

"Hello ladies and gentlemen!" Chris greeted, slicking his hair back with a cocky grin to the camera. He stood on the rickety dock, holding an umbrella. "Are you viewers ready for another season to the most popular and dramatic show on television? Where challenges have sent interns to the emergency room on numerous occasions? Well then, you're gonna love this! We picked the most random group of teens we could find—and although they know what they're coming _to_, they certainly don't know what kind of things we'll make them do here!"

The first boat arrived to the dock. A petite tan girl with a long brown ponytail and freckles covering every inch of her skin stepped off the boat. A camera hung around her neck awkwardly while she tried to carry both her bags and her umbrella

"Hello Satine!" Chris said cheerfully. "How you doing'?"

"I'm fine," Satine said, smiling. "Is it true that you put both interns and campers here under horrible conditions for your own amusement?"

"Maybe," Chris winked.

Satine just laughed nervously, walking over to the far end of the dock.

Next was a young man named Allister. He had short messy black hair and brown eyes. He wore a hood over his head and quietly skulked past Chris before he could even say anything.

Leti, a young Latino girl, literally bounced off her boat, grinning and waving like crazy to the camera.

"Hola, my friends! I'm Leti!" She said excitedly, before skipping over to the other two contestants. Allister looked at her like she was insane. Chris laughed at the already striking contrast between the contestants.

After that was Jade, who sighed and walked over to Chris, waved lamely, and walked over to the other teens. Her black hair covered her ear piercing, and her skull shirt made Leti step back in fear, already slightly afraid of the new girl.

Riley, the next contestant, jumped off his boat smirking. His red messy hair was held up by goggles, and he eyed the contestants unafraid.

"Hey, Riley, dude!" Chris greeted high-five-ing him.

Next was someone who bared an unusual resemblance to Courtney. Her name was Doerenda who was Courtney's twin, (although several contestants rolled their eyes in doubt) and she excitedly walked towards the others, smiling.

Kevin was next, a laid-back guy with black hair, a beanie and a hoodie, he high-fived all of the contestants, and grinned.

"Hey," he questioned, pointing towards Doerenda, "Wasn't she already here?"

"She's not Courtney," Jade explained. "She's her twin."

"Or so she says," Allister muttered.

The next contestant landed with a _thud_. Her name was Rosetta; she was black and short, with messy hair and hazel eyes. She wore a red and black striped shirt with jeans. She didn't seem to like the rain.

Walking over to the other contestants, Riley grinned wickedly, seeing what was seemingly an easy target.

"Forget an umbrella?" He mocked.

"No," Rosetta said sarcastically, rolling her eyes. "I love being soaking wet. It certainly fits with the mood doesn't it?"

"Aw…you two look so cute together!" Leti exclaimed.

Rosetta raised an eyebrow, considering pushing Leti off the dock and Riley bent over in laughter.

Thomas was next, and unlike Rosetta, he seemed to like the rain. He was Jamaican, and wore long dreadlocks.

"Hey mon," He laughed, shaking the hands of all the contestants.

The next contestant was a nervous fellow, who seemed to constantly flip a coin. He was Raphael, a spiky-haired pale guy with an 'I AM ERROR' T-shirt, humongous glasses, and shoes that looked even worse in the rain.

"Dude," Chris questioned him, "What's with the coin?"

Raphael shrugged, and flipped the coin again, walking over to the other contestants.

"You can stand somewhere over _there_," Riley growled, pushing the unsociable Raphael over to the other side of the dock. (Thankfully not over it!)

"Alrighty then," said the host, still confused about the coin thing, "Well finally, we have the lovable Effie! Come on down!"

Effie did indeed come down, sliding on the dock in process, and then preceding to fall over to the other contestants in a ridiculous somersault. Her tangled red hair became even more tangled, (if that was possible) and she giggled like a drunk.

"That was graceful," Satine laughed.

"Well then," Chris announced, making sure the camera would once again focus on him, "there you have it! The first eleven contestants! Stay tuned for more, on Total…Drama…Island!"

**There you have it! The first six girls and the first five boys! By the way, if someone has a good **_**villain**_** for the story, or would be ok if I made there character somewhat of a bad guy, please tell me! I'd love to hear your ideas! If you don't have one, I'll just make one up myself. (By villain I mean someone that had the chemistry with the other contestants as Heather did. Someone who's out to win, and will push everyone out of his/her way to do so.)**

**Oh, and for the creator of Marley Thomas, I hope you don't mind if I just call him Thomas! Otherwise I keep thinking I'm writing about Bob Marley…**

**Final note, I'm obviously still sorting through everyone's character offers. There's so many! Rosetta and Riley belong to me, and although I said two others of mine would appear of well, I figured that was too much, so that opens two more spots! See you guys later, and sorry for the freakishly long A.N.!**


	2. The Wheel of Epic Failure

**(A.N.) Just a quick warning…this chapter contains spoilers for the finale of TDI. **

"Welcome back!" Chris said cheerfully, the rain had finally let up (thank God!) but the gray clouds still were casting an eerie shadow over camp Wawanakwa. The next boat stopped at the dock, and out stepped a tall and pale girl, with a blonde braid like a stinger. She rolled her eyes at the other competitors.

"Let's give a warm welcome to…Laura!" Laura walked over to the other side of the dock and smirked.

"No contest. No way could these other losers beat me," She laughed, as if the very idea of her losing was preposterous. Rosetta hit her forehead with her palm.

"Oh c'mon Chris. Seriously? Do you have to invite someone with a black hole for a heart _every_ season?" She complained.

"What, is she making you think of Heather? If so, then well, it makes T.V." Chris replied, shrugging with a casual grin.

Effie half snorted, half laughed at their comments. She rocked on her heels enthusiastically and bounced up and down.

"It's true, it's true!" She exclaimed, "She and Heather _are_ alike!"

Meanwhile Chris was introducing the next contestant. It was Kenny, a young Brazilian man with dark brown hair and green eyes. He seemed pretty thrilled to be here, and looked at the two girls (Rosetta and Laura) who were still fighting like crazy.

"Whoa man," He laughed. "Catfight already?" Chris smirked.

"I know, right? That stuff is _perfect_ for ratings! We just gotta make sure they don't kill each other…"

As Kenny walked to the other side of the dock, the next contestant, Ashlyn, came off of her boat. She was a petite girl with wavy blonde hair. She wore a pink sweater with a white tank-top and some jeans.

"Hey Ashlyn! How's it going?" Chris asked her.

"Hi Chris, bye Chris!" Ashlyn called out, running over to the other side of the dock and apparently not hearing a word Chris had said, thanks to the I-pod plugged into her ears. Ashlyn immediately started talking to Leti, who seemed thrilled to meet a new friend.

"Okay…" Chris mumbled, rolling his eyes. "Let's say hello to Rachel!" The said contestant walked off of her boat, stepping down shyly. Halfway across the dock, she lost her balance and fell into the arms of the unsuspecting Thomas. They both blushed and apologized to each other quickly, backing off with a sheepish smile.

"Now isn't that cute?" Ashlyn asked, smiling.

"Definitely," Leti agreed, grinning. "Looks like we've got the first couple of the season!"

"W-w-what?" Rachel stammered, her face completely red. "It was a complete accident!"

"Yeah mon," Thomas laughed. "Don't be so quick to assume!"

"Unbelievable," Allister muttered. "One slip-up and they're already pairing us together."

"Anyways!" Chris shouted, annoyed that he camera wasn't on him for such a 'long' time. "Next contestant is John!" A tall kid with blonde hair parted in the front stepped off with a weak smile.

"Hey guys," He greeted. Before he took a step forward, the next contestant after him skateboarded off of his boat, landing on John's head. The skater had messy black hair with green tips.

"Whoops!" The new contestant shouted. "Sorry dude!" John groaned, and rubbed the gigantic bump on his head.

"It's okay…" He muttered.

"And that my friends, was Hunter!" Chris snickered.

Jade ran over to John, glaring daggers at the skater boy. She knelt over and offered a hand to him.

"You okay?" she asked, smiling.

"Yeah…I think so. Wow, three seconds here and I'm already getting head injuries. Why am I not surprised?" He laughed. Speaking of injuries, everyone had ringing in their ears after the next contestant introduced herself.

"Hello everyon—WHOA! AUGH!" Her polite introduction was interrupted as she slipped off of her boat and fell on to the dock. This was Charity. She had long dark brown hair with red streaks in them (natural, she claimed).

"Geez, people sure seem to be prone to tripping today," Doerenda quipped.

"Well, it _is_ raining, it's gonna be slippery," Kevin said, pointing out what should have been obvious to Doerenda. He immediately regretted saying this, seeing Doerenda's embarrassed face. "I mean, but um, anyone would've just, uh…" He stumbled over his words for about another half minute, and Doerenda giggled.

"That's okay! You're funny…I don't even know your name. Well, you were introduced, but I forgot your name. Do you remember my name? I hope you do! That's okay if you don't though. I don't remember yours. Hey, I hope we're on the same team!" She rambled. Kevin laughed.

"I hope we are too."

Their attention was immediately drawn towards the next contestant. He was thin and lanky, with curly blonde hair and a polo shirt with jeans. Warren—the name of the contestant—smiled confidently towards his surroundings before walking towards the other contestants.

If Warren caught their attention, the next two contestants made everyone drop their jaws. They were twins, both with pale skin, short spiky black hair, and blue eyes. One of them was named Joel, and the other was Leo. They both wore blue shirts with khakis, which only confused the other contestants even more when it came to telling them apart. In the three seconds they were introduced, one of them gave Chris such a hard pat on the back that Chris toppled over the dock, and the other twin went over and started flirting with Rosetta, much to the annoyance of Riley.

"Wait," Charity said, confused. "Which one's which again? I think I forgot."

Satine smiled. "The one over there is Joel." She pointed towards the twin who was bent over in laughter while an angry Chris pulled himself back on the dock. "And the one over there is Leo." She jerked her thumb towards the twin standing next to Rosetta and Riley. (Although Riley looked like he was about to flip.)

"How're you able to tell them apart?" Charity asked, surprised.

"I um, like to take photos. I guess I notice details a lot better now." Satine blushed, not used to the attention.

"That's awesome! So you make photo albums and stuff?" Charity asked.

"Y-yeah."

"Can I see one sometime?

Satine blinked, surprised. "Sure." Charity grinned.

"Awesome!"

The final contestant was Alice. She had huge blue eyes with spiky red hair and pale skin. A long scar ran across the bridge of her nose. As she jumped off her boat, she wrung her hands excitedly and skipped over to the other contestants, introducing herself and asking what everyone else's names were, person by person. She spoke to with a thick Australian accent.

"Alright campers! That's everyone!" Chris announced, stepping over to where the twenty-two lucky (in some definition of the word) contestants. "Meet me by the campfire to find out what team you're on! For old time's sake, we're doing the previous two team names, "The Screaming Gophers", and "The Killer Bass"!

* * *

In a few short minutes, everyone was ready and waiting for Chris to divide them up. Many people looked at the friends they had made; hoping he Chris would divide them reasonably.

Wishful thinking.

"Alright, let's start with the Killer Bass!" Chris rubbed his hands in anticipation, while many of the campers shrunk back in fear.

"Hm…Laura, Rosetta, Riley, and Leo." The named contestants, now the first four Killer Bass, dropped their jaws in disbelief. Glaring at each other, they went over to stand where Chris directed them.

"Doerenda, Kevin, Jade, and Thomas! Alice, Ashlyn, and Allister! You're all Killer Bass!" The other eight contestants sat next to Laura, Rosetta, Riley, and Leo. Doerenda and Kevin high-fived each other.

"That means Satine, Leti, Raphael, Effie, Kenny, Rachel, Warren, Joel, Charity, Hunter, and John are our Screaming Gophers! Congrats you eleven! After you get a lovely lunch by our incomparable chef…whose name is Chef as you probably know, go down to the stage to start our first challenge!"

* * *

After eating the not-so-pleasant meal prepared by Chef, the twenty-two campers sat on the bleachers while Chris walked up on the stage.

"So, what's our first challenge?" Raphael asked. "Are we gonna have to jump off that suicide cliff like the campers in the first challenge?"

"I'm glad you asked!" Chris cackled. "Yes and no. This first challenge is going to have to do with some old challenges. Other then that, we've come up with new ways of torturing you!"

Rosetta sighed.

"Lovely."

Ignoring that comment, Chris pulled down the curtain, revealing a familiar Spin-the-Bottle wheel with all twenty-two previous camper's pictures on it.

"This is a game I like to call _The Wheel of Total Epic Failure!_ You each will spin the wheel, and land on some previous contestant. Whatever contestant you land on, you will have to successfully complete a challenge that they hopelessly failed at. The team with the most campers to complete the challenge will win! So come on up and spin the wheel!"

* * *

Satine stepped up to the wheel, and bit her lip nervously. After taking a deep breath and pushing the bottle, it landed on the picture of the blonde beauty Lindsay. Chris ripped off the picture, so no one else would land on Lindsay. Turning to face Satine, Chris announced her challenge.

"Oh ho ho! We've got a good challenge for you Satine! Lindsay seriously _failed_ at the hide and seek challenge. So, go hide…and try not to get caught by Chef! To make it be quicker, if Chef doesn't find you in ten minutes, you win. If he does find you, you lose, and your team doesn't get the point!"

Satine gulped nervously.

"Ready…set…go!" Chris shouted. Satine yelped and ran off.

Leti stepped off next, giggling excitedly. Her spin landed on Geoff.

"Alright, Leti! You my friend must ride our moose over there!" Chris told her, pointing towards a grunting moose. "If you stay on for a total of forty-five seconds, your team will get a point!"

"Oh, yay!" Leti squealed. "I hope he's friendly!" She skipped off towards the moose.

"Friendly is not the word I'd use," Chris snickered.

Raphael stepped up next, flipping his coin like crazy. After spinning, he landed on Noah.

"Looks like Raphael is stuck with everyone's favorite know-it-all, Noah! Noah did absolutely nothing during the dodge ball challenge, so you must compete in a dodge ball game against a random Bass camper." Chris glanced towards the eleven Bass. "And that will be…eenie, meanie, miney, Ashlyn!" With a shrug and a smile, Ashlyn left to go to the gym along with a reluctant Raphael.

Effie was the next camper; she spun her bottle and impatiently shouted at it to go faster. It finally landed on Harold.

"Alrighty then! Harold's challenge (that he failed at for unknown reasons) is that you must ski behind a boat driven by a Bass member, and pick up five flags without falling off. Then, you must cross the finish line while holding the five flags!" Once again, Chris looked towards the bass. "And who will that driver be? How about…Jade?" Jade smirked.

"No problem," Jade assured her team. The two walked towards the mud-lake, waiting for the signal to start.

Kenny casually walked up, smiling calmly. He landed on LeShawna.

"Okay, Kenny! We're gonna take you and one more Bass member, which shall be…Thomas! You two go over to the Arts and Crap—I mean Crafts center. Supplies will wait you there. You've got to build your own bike, and compete in a race. The person who gets there first will win!"

"All right!" Kenny exclaimed. "This is gonna be awesome!"

After that, Rachel's spin landed on Owen.

"Ah, the past winner. Hm…so does this mean something? Who knows…?" Chris mused, tapping his chin with a thoughtful expression. He winked at Rachel. "Anyways, during one episode last season, Owen completely screwed up the team's chances of winning the cooking challenge, so you must cook me a nice three-course meal! Chef is out hunting Satine at the moment, so you should be safe. You might wanna, you know, finish the meal before he gets back. He doesn't like people in his kitchen."

Glancing fearfully over her shoulder as if Chef gonna appear out of nowhere, Rachel reluctantly went over to the kitchen.

Warren seemed completely unfazed as he spun his wheel and landed on Tyler.

"Well my friend, Tyler pretty much sucked at the dodgeball game that we had last season, so go on and head over to where Ashlyn and Raphael are! Looks like it's gonna be a two on two game. To make it even…I'll pick Leo to be with Ashlyn."

"This'll be easy," Warren mused, smiling. Heading over to the gym, he actually began talking to Leo, and they looked like they were getting along.

"Wow," Alice whispered, nudging Rosetta with a smile. "That's surprising. The other teams were so hostile last year, but that dude is actually being nice to Joel. Weird huh?"

Rosetta laughed.

"That _is_ weird," She agreed.

Chris glared at Joel as he stepped up.

"Actually dude, I'm gonna pick this one for you," Chris said with a malicious smirk. "You get…Eva. Eva never really failed at anything; she was just super, super, _super, _insane. But here's an interesting challenge she participated in! Spending ten seconds locked in a crate with Sasquatchanakwa. Good luck dude. You're gonna need it!" Joel's smirk disappeared as soon as he heard his challenge.

"Wait!" John objected. "How can you do that Chris? Isn't that against the rules?"

"Dude," Hunter sighed. "Didn't you watch last season? There _are_ _no_ _rules_."

Nodding, Chris pushed Joel towards the giant cage.

After that unpleasant scene, Charity was a shaking nervously while she spun her wheel. She was stuck with Izzy.

"Alright! On the episode Izzy was voted off, she failed to capture a deer, hilariously shooting Heather with a sleeping dart at the same time. So, you've got twenty minutes! Go catch a deer!"

"Holy crap!" Charity shouted, running off into the forest.

Hunter strolled up, and landed on DJ.

"DJ's performance on the talent show was…lacking. So, prepare an act, and it better be a good one! You'll be performing it in front of everyone here in…thirty minutes! Since you'll be performing, well…here…just stay here and practice whatever-the-heck you're gonna do, dude!"

"All right! This'll be totally frickin' sweet!" Hunter proclaimed.

John was the last of the Gophers to come up. He landed on Beth, and raised his eyebrow.

"You'll be jumping of a cliff!" Chris said cheerfully. "Have fun!" John gulped, and walked towards the infamous one-thousand foot cliff.

Next was the Bass. Laura, twirling her hair with a malicious smirk, stepped up to bat. After spinning her bottle, it landed on Heather. Chris whistled.

"Totally don't see the irony there."

Rosetta rolled her eyes.

**Confession Cam: History repeats itself, eh? **

Rosetta glared at the camera, and scowled.

"Yeah, sure Chris. No resemblance whatsoever."

* * *

"One difference between Heather and me, Chris. _I'm_ gonna win." Laura said firmly, sneering.

"Tough words Laura. Are your words gonna be so tough when you're going to have to…" Chris gave a dramatic pause. "Get your head shaved by Chef?"

Laura's eye twitched.

Many of the other Bass memebers laughed evilly.

**Confession Cam: Un-freakin'-believable**

Laura fingered her hair, grimacing. She glanced at the camera and bit her lip.

"Crap!"

* * *

"Remember Laura," Chris warned. "You can always step out of the challenge."

Laura groaned, and swore loudly.

"Do I have time to think about it?!" She complained. Chris checked his watch, and pretended to think about it.

"Hm…you have…five minutes."

As Laura stepped down to compensate her hair's fate, Rosetta stood up and spun the bottle. It landed on Duncan.

"Okay, here's a good one! Rosetta, since Duncan lost to Gwen in the awake-a-thon, you must do what he failed at: stay up longer then Gwen! So, good luck Rosetta, you're staying up for exactly…four days!"

Rosetta's eyes widened.

"Please tell me you're kidding."

"'Fraid not! Good luck!"

After that, Riley's spin was on Bridgette. Chris's smirk grew.

"Ah, this brings back memories. Riley, you've got to go ahead and grab the key that Bridgette failed to get." He pointed towards an obscure point towards the forest. "It's right by a family of cute little bunnies."

Riley laughed.

"Piece of cake!"

After he left, Chris whispered to the camera.

"I guess he missed that episode."

Doerenda spun and landed on her twin sister, Courtney. Doerenda squealed and jumped up and down.

"All right sis! Bring it on!" She shouted.

"Doerenda, you're going to have to jump off the cliff, because I doubt you share your sister's really weird fear of green jelly. Good luck!" Doerenda punched her fist into the air and whooped.

**Confession Cam: It's nothing personal**

"Okay sorry sis, but I'm totally going to go all the way! I'll jump this cliff and totally dominate the competition! And oh, I'm so happy that Kevin's on my team! And I miss you! I hope you get to co-host!" Doerenda said quickly, jumping up and down in the small outhouse.

* * *

Kevin stood up and seemed confused when he landed on Ezekiel.

"Wait, Ezekiel did…like, nothing. What am I supposed to do?"

Chris frowned.

"Good point dude. Huh, he was the first one eliminated so…what the heck, just go jump off the cliff with Doerenda and John." Upon hearing this, Kevin grinned and hugged Chris, much to Chris's puzzlement.

"Sweet! Thanks man!" After Kevin stepped off to go jump off a cliff with his new favorite camper Doerenda (as weird as that sounded) Alice stood to the plate and landed on Katie and Sadie. (Apparently they had refused to put their pictures on unless it was a picture of both of them.)

"They kinda failed at a lot so uh…oh! I've got it! In the episode Katie was voted off, both of them screwed up. They became lost in the woods and even ran into a _bear_. So, you've got to last a night in the woods and come back out, preferably with all of your limbs in tact. Up to the challenge?"

Alice nodded enthusiastically.

"Totally, mate! I love nature!" She skipped to the forest without grabbing any supplies whatsoever leaving Allister to be the last one on.

After a long spin, the bottle landed on the picture of Cody.

"Oh you're going to love this, buddy. You've got to disable our lovely garbage time bomb. I suspect you know the consequences if you don't disable the bomb, right dude?"

Allister pinched the bridge of his nose and nodded.

All of the campers were finally gone, (excluding Hunter and Laura) so Chris turned to the camera to say his old familiar line.

"Looks like that's all of them! Will Laura let her hair be shaved? Will the other campers succeed where the past campers failed? Who will be voted off first? And who's gonna drive who totally insane in the next few episodes? Find out on the next episode of Total…Drama…Island!"

**Sorry to those who didn't make it! I hope you liked this chapter! **


	3. New Contestants, Same Old Story

**Thanks for the reviews people! Enjoy! I don't know if you're even reading this, but you've GOT to check out the AN below, okay?**

Satine gasped as she ran through the thick forest. She had to find a hiding spot, and quick.

But…where?

There were no footsteps behind her, not yet. She glanced around nervously anyways. She couldn't hide in some place a past camper hid. She had to find a place Chef would never look in; she had to find someplace new.

Or did she?

Would Chef think that Satine would try to find her own place? Maybe he'd look in completely new ones. Or maybe, that idea was ridiculous and just would get her found even quicker.

_"Dang it…" _Satine sighed, inside her head.

The clearing to the forest was a few feet ahead of her, and she squinted from the light. The beach was only a few feet away. She couldn't pull that same stunt LeShawna did, hiding the water, which would undoubtedly be the first place Chef would look.

A row of upturned canoes caught Satine's eye. She smiled, relieved, and went over to them. She lifted one up and lay down, putting the canoe over her body. The hot sand went into her clothes, and she winced from being uncomfortable, but still, she waited.

Minutes passed, until finally she heard a low thumping noise, as if someone was kicking something. Like a bunch of canoes.

_"Don't scream Satine, maybe he won't turn over the canoe if you just stay completely silent…" _She reminded herself, over and over again.

But, when Chef's foot hit her canoe she was so surprised that she yelped, jumped up slightly, and hit her head on the top of the canoe. Chef turned it over, and Satine found herself staring into the barrel of a gigantic water gun.

"Wanna try to run?" Chef offered, grinning.

"No thank you," Satine mumbled, standing up and straightening herself out.

**Confession Cam: He scares us too, actually**

Satine shuddered as she told the camera, "I swear, no wonder the campers were so afraid of Chef being that serial killer last year. You do _not_ want to see Chef pointing a gun at you, whether it's a water gun or not!"

* * *

Chris stared at Leti in disbelief as she cooed and pet the moose in total sappy lovey-dovey cheesiness. She even started calling it "Sweetie", because in her own words, "He likes to act tough, but I'm sure he's just a nice big softie underneath! He just wants to be loved!"

"Alright Leti," Chris said, slowly. "You've got to stay on that moose for over forty-five seconds. Are you ready?" Leti nodded enthusiastically.

"Yup!" She then climbed onto the moose, and Chris started the stopwatch. To his surprise, Leti was completely stable when it came to staying on the deranged moose. Forty-five seconds passed, and Leti jumped off the moose, giving an 'I'm number one' pose to the camera. Chris congratulated her, and announced it was the Gopher's first point.

Elsewhere, Jade revved the engine and Effie laughed manically.

"Sorry kid," Jade shouted. "But you're going down!" Jade immediately slammed on the pedal, bringing it to full speed. Effie slipped out of her skis almost immediately, but would not let go. Amazingly enough she managed to grab all five flags, and cross the finish line. Jade gaped as Effie squealed and jumped and down.

"Oh-oh-oh! This makes me so happy!" She laughed, then frowned as Jade sullenly looked away.

"If it makes you feel any better, I really hope your teammates won't kill you for costing them a point! Honestly!" Effie exclaimed. Jade raised an eyebrow.

"Gee…thanks." She said sarcastically.

**Confession Cam: It's hard to tell. After all, she **_**is **_**related to Izzy.**

Jade gave the camera an apprehensive glance. "Was she trying to be friends with me?"

* * *

Despite not having nice materials or even a readable manual, Thomas and Kenny managed to scrap together two bikes. Chef stood near the starting line, dressed in referee gear. After blowing the whistle, the two campers took off.

Thomas's bike was able to go much faster, so he zoomed far ahead of Kenny. With an irritated scowl, Kenny pushed harder, trying to keep up. Both of them flew over the leftover mines from last year, which Chris insisted on keeping. After all, he doesn't like to waste…

When it came to the oil slick, Thomas was able to slide through it by hitting the brakes and skidding through it, stopping at the piranha pool, which he wasn't so sure how to cross. To his relief, Kenny spun out of the slick and crashed, making Thomas the winner by default. Chris however, was awfully disappointed that neither of the campers had to cross the piranha pool. What a shame.

Kenny sighed as he stood up, covered head-to-toe with oil. Glancing towards the finish line, he saw Thomas running off, probably to tell his teammates. He frowned, and then went in the opposite direction, wondering whether to be the bearer of bad news or not. But, it was just one point though, right?

**Confession Cam: New enemies, or not**

With a nonchalant shrug, Kenny leaned against the wall of the outhouse.

"Yeah, it would've been nice if Thomas helped me up, or even said 'good game', but that doesn't mean we're gonna be major enemies for the whole season. Sheesh. If you want that much drama, go look at the girls."

* * *

"Ready…set…dodge!" Chris announced, sitting in the bleachers at the gym for the dodge ball game.

Ashlynn and Leo ran up to get the balls, but Raphael and Warren were faster. They picked up the two balls and immediately heaved them at their opponents, grinning. Ashlynn ducked in time to dodge hers, but Leo was whacked in the stomach by Raphael.

Raphael chuckled quietly, inwardly applauding at his own skills.

Leo grimaced and sat down, throwing an apologetic glance towards Ashlynn. Ashlynn swallowed nervously, clutching two dodge balls, one in each hand. She threw them quickly, and the two opponents dodged them easily. Warren almost caught his, but due to a rather obscene shout from Leo, he failed at the task.

Shaking from her nerves, Ashlynn began backing up. Warren and Raphael slowly walked towards her, their dodge balls ready in their hands.

"Ready," Warren said, smiling widely. "Aim…"

"_Fire!" _they shouted simultaneously. The two dodge balls flew towards her, only inches away from landing on their unfortunate target.

"Crap!" She exclaimed, somersaulting uncomfortably on the hard gym floor. In that process however, she managed to practically tackle Warren's ball, technically catching it. Warren sighed and sat down on the bleachers, next to a smug Chris. Relieved, Leo walked back over to Ashlynn.

"Alright," Ashlynn whispered to Leo. "Here's the plan."

Raphael bit his lip in fear, unsure what they were planning. Not to mention, they had both of the balls with them!

The duo ahead of Raphael gave an evil grin towards him, as they stepped apart. Leo ran towards Raphael and threw his ball high up in the air.

"Easy," Raphael whispered to himself. "Just a fly ball. I totally can catch it."

He didn't see Ashlynn running towards him with her ball, ready to hit him easily. He was too distracted with catching Leo's ball. Ashlynn threw her ball with such force that it hit him square in the face, leaving a huge crack in his glasses.

"Oh my gosh!" Ashlynn cried, running towards him. "I'm so sorry! Are you ok?"

Raphael blinked dizzily and smiled weakly.

"Yeah, I guess. Congratulations on winning…" he mumbled. He stood up and walked out the door and left the perplexed Ashlynn.

**Confession Cam: F is for friends who do stuff together…**

Ashlynn sighed. "Poor guy. He really could use a friend. Maybe I could go talk to him later…we're on different teams though. That's gonna be tough."

* * *

John, Doerenda, and Kevin knelt at the edge of the cliff, staring at the roaring water far below them. The sharks practically beckoned them.

"You first!" Doerenda whispered to John. With a quick gulp, John stood up and walked towards the edge. He gave one long yell, and landed, thankfully, in the safe zone.

"Thanks man," John said cheerfully as Chef helped him up.

"Stupid lawsuits…" was Chef's only reply.

Doerenda and Kevin followed, holding on each other for dear life as they fell from the cliff. Still, it was more like Kevin holding on to Doerenda while Doerenda giggled and laughed excitedly.

**Confession Cam: An extra helping of denial**

Kevin scoffed.

"She was the one holding onto me. Seriously."

* * *

"Five to three, bass lead! Will Joel turn things around?" Chris asked, grinning.

"I hate you. I hate you _so much_." Joel hissed, standing at the door of the cage of the Sasquatchanakwan, which is undoubtedly one of the hardest things to spell, but it's doubtful that you'll find yourself in a situation where you have to do so. Moving back on topic, many of his teammates, the ones who had finished their challenge, stood nearby, angrily ordering him to not quit. After a few moments of hesitation, Joel pushed open the door and went inside. The crowd gasped.

And…after ten seconds…he came out. Alive. Barely alive, but alive. Joel gave a grin, and Chris scowled in return.

"Yeah, yeah. Gophers get a point. Four to five, bass still lead."

* * *

"If I were a deer…where would I hide?" Charity mumbled. Then, she wondered if deer were actually hiding. Much to her annoyance, Izzy never successfully caught that deer, so she didn't have much of an example to follow. Charity had that same dart gun at least.

"Wait…" She whispered. "Are those footprints?" Sure enough, there were indents in the ground. Smiling in triumph, she followed them, all the way to a river, where they suddenly stopped.

They appeared on the other side.

Charity immediately stumbled back a few steps, shaking with fear. She couldn't cross. She wouldn't. But she _had _to.

A voice from the other side of the river interrupted her.

"Excuse me," Allister said quietly, fidgeting with his still-ticking garbage bomb. "Are you okay?" Charity blinked quickly, unsure what to say. Part of her wanted to answer his question, and the other part was wondering why Allister just happened to be on the exact other side of the river where the deer prints were.

**Confession Cam: Coincidence? Nah.**

Chris and Chef were crowded in the small outhouse together.

"Alright so I set that up," Chris admitted. "Hey, I knew they would get along. Who says I don't have a heart?" Chef snickered.

"That's funny. I could've sworn you mentioned something about how people eat up couples and how more couples make better ratings."

Chris scowled.

"Shut up."

* * *

"N-not really," Charity admitted, shaking her head rapidly and answering Allister's original question. "I'm…really afraid of water." Allister sighed and stood up, offering his hand.

"I can help you cross," he offered. Charity's eyes widened.

"But we're on different teams. And you're running out of time. That thing is a ticking time—garbage bomb." She insisted. Allister shrugged.

"I'm not gonna leave you here just to try to fight your fear on your own." Allister was surprised with himself. He never really talked so much. Charity finally agreed with letting Allister help her. She took his hand, and jumped, wrapping her arms around him quickly from her fear.

Allister set her down, and Charity glanced back, amazed she was able to cross. She hugged Allister and thanked him about a million times. Allister blushed slightly, and looked away.

However, the bomb went over just at that time, covering both of them in garbage. And…just like that, the timer ran out for Charity as well. Both of them failed. Still…they seemed pretty happy.

**Confession Cam: Can you say "Aw…"?**

Allister, covered in garbage, smiled.

"This hasn't been such a bad day," he said softly.

* * *

The majority if the campers sat around the stage, watching Laura squirm nervously in her chair as Chef chuckled, taking out the large whirring blade.

The blade whirred. Laura's eyes widened. And, most all of the campers watched in anticipation. It went closer and closer until…

"NO!" Laura shrieked, kicking the blade. It spun higher and higher in the air, and came even closer to Laura's hair, in a scene awfully similar to last year's. But just when they thought that thick blonde hair would be shaved off her smug head, she spin-kicked it and it flew towards Chris's head!

Chris yelped and ducked, covering his head with his hands.

"Not…cool!" He shouted.

**Confession Cam: Such a shame**

Leo sighed.

"She's mean, she's bossy, and she's smug…but man, did you see that kick?! I hate to say this, but she could actually be useful."

* * *

Rachel hummed to herself and smiled as she took out three platters and set them on the empty table in the lunch out. (Chris was still outside on the stage, slightly traumatized by the fact that he almost lost his hair.) She looked at what she had cooked with delight. Mozzarella sticks were the appetizer, shrimp alfredo for the main course, and cherry cheesecake for dessert. He'd love it, she was sure!

After a few more minutes, Chris came in shakily. He sat down, and sampled all three of Rachel's foods. Chris smiled, and then said…

"Well Rachel your food is…" He paused dramatically. Rachel gulped, and began biting her nails.

"Excellent!" Chris finished, grinning. "Congrats, you get a point! The Bass and The Gophers are now tied."

"Phew," Rachel sighed, relived. "Thanks. Can I have some of that? I'm starving."

Chris smirked.

"Nope," he replied, taking the trays and hiding them in Chef's kitchen. (Rachel was fairly certain she'd never go in there again. It…creeped her out.)

* * *

"Too easy," Riley chuckled, a few feet away from where the key was. An innocent little bunny stood next to it, looking as if it were smiling. Riley shrugged, and started walking towards it…

The bunny roared demonically, and snapped it's now excessively large teeth.

"HOLY CRAP!" Riley screamed, now sitting (and shaking) on top of a tree branch. "What the heck is that?!" To freak him out even more, the red-head Australian Alice appeared out of nowhere right next to him on the tree.

"Hey Riley!" She said cheerfully. Riley yelped, and nearly fell out of tree he was sitting in. April caught him, and hoisted him back on.

"What are you doing here?" Riley asked, gasping for breath.

"Silly, this is my challenge remember? I just have to stay here for a full night. Piece of cake!" She swung her feet on the tree branch daintily. "Hey, while I'm here… do you want help getting that key?" Alice asked.

"Of course," Riley replied. "But that rabbit…thing…is seriously demented." Alice's smile went up to her ears.

"Not a problem."

Riley looked at her apprehensively. Okay, so she had a plan. What was it? Before he could question her anymore, Alice broke off a branch from the tree, jumped off from where they were sitting, hit the rabbit with the branch, and ran away screaming like a madwoman. The rabbit followed her, snarling.

Riley blinked.

"That…was weird." With a shrug, he jumped off the tree, and grabbed the key.

"Well Riley you got the tree…" Chris's voice came over the intercom. "But Alice helped you. That was against the rules. Both of you fail!" Riley gaped, and shouted in protest. After a few seconds, he realized the obvious: Chris wasn't gonna listen to him. Once again, Alice appeared out of nowhere, the rabbit no longer following her. (Riley wasn't about to ask where it was, in fact, he didn't really want to know.)

"Well that stinks!" Alice said, pouting. "Hm…the only bass member left in the game is Rosetta. After we see Hunter's act, wanna go hang out with her?" Riley smirked. Oh, what fun they'd have.

* * *

Every camper (except Rosetta, who was still half-dead at the campfire after having to run around the lake and then eat a three-course meal) was sitting on the bleachers at the stage, waiting for Hunter to do…whatever it was he was going to do.

"Ladies and gentlemen!" Chris greeted, stepping into the spotlight. "It's my pleasure to introduce…Hunter! The man who might make or break the Gopher's chance of winning!" Hunter skateboarded out onto the stage (what a surprise) and knocked Chris over. Whether or not it was intentional, it was pretty hilarious.

Hunter proceeded to do a number of skateboard tricks, even including handstands on it! After it was done, the crowd applauded. Even the Bass were impressed. Chris had no opinion towards it considering he was unconscious at the moment. Chef stepped out in his place.

"Well," he said. "If your tricks didn't do it, doing _that,_" He pointed towards Chris, "won it for you." The Gophers cheered in mad applause, and the Bass gulped. It was all up to Rosetta.

* * *

Rosetta sat at the campfire, alone, and bored out of her mind. Stupid, stupid, stupid! Why was she stuck with Duncan?! She'd rather be stuck with the Sasquatchanakwan! At least she'd be able to _do_ something then. Alone, bored, and not if she heard correctly, it was up to her to tie this first challenge. She didn't want to know what the 'sudden death' was supposed to be.

"Well what are they other contestants supposed to do while I sit here?!" She shouted to no one. Someone answered though.

"Annoy the heck out of you?" Riley offered, as he and Alice sat down, across from Rosetta. Rosetta had to hide her surprise.

"What are you guys doing here? I thought no one was allowed to come near me." Rosetta asked, confused. Alice waved dismissively.

"Nah, they won't notice. They're all asleep." She laughed. Riley's tone became more hushed.

"Anyways…another reason we came her is because…we think we should start an alliance." He whispered. Rosetta scoffed.

"Right, and have a replay of last season's dynamic trio? No thanks." She shook her head.

"Oi," Riley said, annoyed. "Do any of us look like a Heather to you?"

"No," Rosetta admitted. "But alliances never really worked, no matter who they were with, if you know what I mean. The only one that was really successful was the guy's alliance, but that was with four people. Not to mention it was a much smaller number of contestants all around."

"Aw come on," Alice whined. "It'll be fun!"

"No." Rosetta sighed, shaking her head. It was silent for a while, until Riley broke the tension.

"This whole thing kinda sucks…I'm trying to remember why I signed up for this in the first place. Maybe I was drunk?" Alice laughed.

"Idiot," Rosetta commented dryly, but she was smiling a little too. She then yawned, and staggered a little.

"No, don't!" Alice cried, but it was too late. Thump. Rosetta was out cold.

Riley grimaced.

"Crap!"

* * *

At the bonfire ceremony, the eleven Bass sat nervously as Chris held the plate of marshmallows out for everyone to see.

"As you know from last season…these marshmallows represent life. When I call your name, come get your marshmallow."

"Laura. Jade. Ashlynn." The three went up and grabbed there marshmallows.

"Riley, Alice, Thomas, Doerenda, Kevin, and Allister. You guys are all safe." Everyone was surprised at the remaining two. They could understand why Rosetta was there, but Leo? Something was wrong. Unless someone rigged the votes…but they said that couldn't happen again this year.

"I hold two marshmallows!" Chris told them, pointing out the obvious. "If you don't get a marshmallow, you have to leave and you can't come back. Ever."

"But what about..." Effie (who seriously appeared out of nowhere) began, ready to go on a rant, but Chris cut her off.

"Nope! Can't come back. Ever."

"Never-ever?" Effie whined.

"No," Chris said, exasperated. Her turned his attention back towards the two remaining contestants. "One of you screwed up…the other, well, I'm not sure why you're there. But the final marshmallow goes to…"

…

…"

Riley mouthed Rosetta's name, and indeed…

"The final marshmallow goes too…Rosetta." Surprised, Rosetta slowly went over to grab her marshmallow. Leo's eyes widened.

"That can't be right!" He protested.

"There was no vote rigging," Chris said. "We checked. Sorry buddy, you're out. Enjoy the Playa de Losers! You're gonna be there a long time." Chef grabbed Leo by the arm and threw him into the boat. With one weak wave, the boat drove off.

**Confession Cam: Wouldn't touch him with a thirty-nine and a half foot pole**

Riley smiled innocently.

"Oh it was almost too easy. Both me and Alice voted for him, so that's two. Thomas was so accommodating; it was no problem convincing him. Doerenda is game for anything, and Kevin's so in love with her he'll do anything she asks him. That's five. Rosetta wasn't gonna vote for herself obviously, so the chances that her plus the remaining five would all vote for the same person was virtually nil. My (correct) guess was that it would be a mix of votes for Rosetta and votes for Laura. But, they didn't count on my oh-so brilliant plan. Adios, Leo!"

* * *

As Rosetta walked back towards her camera, she was spun around by Riley, and he put his arms around her with a smirk. Alice was there, right behind him. Rosetta pushed him away.

"What'd we tell you?" Alice asked in a sing-sing voice.

"Looks like without our clever thinking, you would've been toast there…" Riley added, with a wink.

"Alright, alright!" Rosetta grumbled. "I'll join your stupid alliance. Happy?"

The duo just grinned.

"You guys are evil, you know that?" Rosetta growled.

"Yup. And we love it _so_ much." Riley assured her.

**(A.N.) READ THIS! If you want a chance to have your character WIN, then READ this! Heh…sorry…had to get your attention. Anyways, sorry the spotlight was kinda mainly on Rosetta-Riley-Alice for this chapter, but I had that alliance planned for a long time, and I wanted to give it screen time. Other characters will be getting plenty of screen time, don't worry! **

**Okay, so you're probably wondering what I was talking about with the getting your character to win, right?**

**It's simple. PM me with your vote. The amount of votes each character is getting will shape the order of the eliminations.**

**But there are RULES!**

**Number one: The main one…**_**you can't vote for your own character**_**. Why? Because then I'd be getting everyone voting for their own character obviously, and the results would be…obvious. **

**Number two: **_**You can vote once per chapter**_**. So, you can vote for someone once this chapter. Simple.**

**Number three: Not a rule but…**_**anyone can vote**_**. Even if they are not in the story. What if someone has a second account? I'll be the judge of that. Mainly by stuff like what's in their profile, if they have stories, favorited stuff…people can be pretty convincing though. I trust you to be honest. I doubt people would go that far just to try to get their character to win…**

**Number four: **_**Have fun!**_** If your character gets voted off, big whoop. They'll get screen time in the Playa de Losers, and it's not like you actually win anything in this. Uh…besides bragging rights.**

**Number five: **_**Don't break the rules**_**! I'll be pissed off!**

**And finally rule six, which really isn't a rule: Almost every chapter, I'll have little things in the author note that could save your character from elimination, earn you extra votes, ect. This week's question is…**

**What is the title of Riley's confession cam from? First one to get it right gets their character safe.**

**Bye! :) **


	4. Debby?

"Last time on Total Drama Island!" Chris started, standing on the familiar Dock of Shame. "The twenty-two campers arrived, each more strange then the last. Friendships, rivalries, and a little bit of _romance_ began as the campers got to know each other better. Their patience, their strength, and of course their dignity was tested as the first challenge came through: The Wheel of Total Epic Failure! In the end, the Gophers were the one who successfully completed more challenges then the Bass. Things looked bad for Rosetta, when Riley, her _very_ good friend…"

"I'M GONNA KILL YOU!" Rosetta's scream could be heard in the background along with Riley's laughter. A couple of crashes came from the cabins, and soon Riley was seen walking out of the cabins with a black eye. Chris cleared his throat.

"As I was saying, Riley came through and was able to save Rosetta's butt by using his brains. I know, the kid actually has _brains. _Who knew? Anyway, it was Leo who paid the price and the dynamic duo of twins was broken up on this first day. But today…who will be on the road to victory? And who will _crash and burn?_ Find out on the most dramatic campfire ceremony yet, on Total…Drama…Island!"

----------------------

The day after the first campfire ceremony was relatively normal. Well, as normal as it can get around Camp Wawanakwa. At 5:40 the campers were woken up by none other then Effie, who sat on the megaphone post and sang _Scatman _very, very loudly. It took a pissed off Jade, an axe, a trampoline, and some duct tape to get her come down and shut up.

Grumbling and moaning, the twenty-one remaining campers walked over to the mess hall for their lovely breakfast. Chris of course, was smiling as usual with a glazed donut, a newspaper, and a steaming cup of coffee.

"What's the matter with you guys?" Chris laughed. "Are you like this to your alarm clock?" He added, glancing at Effie who was still trying to take off the duct tape on her mouth. Riley and Thomas were the only ones who seemed to be happy as they took their oatmeal and sat down at the Bass table.

"You guys need to lighten up," Thomas advised, smiling. "All of you are safe, so we should be happy, right?"

"Wrong," Jade growled. "We lost. And now we're down in team numbers. Which means, they have the advantage."

"I kinda agree," Alice mumbled. "Who knows what kind of challenge Chris will make us do?" She glanced over to the sadistic host, who whistled innocently in response.

"Hmmph," Laura grunted. "Whatever it was, you guys better not lose again! Whoever screws it up this time will pay the price!" She glared at each of her teammates, who in turn smiled distantly. Each of them were imagining _her _getting voted off.

"_Dragged kicking and screaming…" _Kevin thought, chuckling to himself.

"But didn't you screw up to Laura?" Doerenda asked, confused. She wasn't trying to insult Laura; she honestly was just…confused. "I thought you refused to get your hair shaved…unless…" Doerenda gasped. "It's a wig! But it looks so real…ooo! Let me feel! Let me feel it! Please?" She whined, reaching over the table with her hand outstretched. Kevin put a restraining hand on her shoulder.

"Easy there," He laughed.

Meanwhile, Riley glanced at Rosetta, grinning. Rosetta glared at him.

"What's the matter Kitten? I thought we were getting along," He teased. Rosetta raised an eyebrow.

"Kitten?" Allister repeated slowly. "Uh, I thought her name was Rosetta…"

"It is." Riley assured him. "It's just her nickname. Off the top of my head, really. _Meow._" Every girl besides Rosetta snickered, and Rosetta slumped in her chair.

"Someone please, kill me now…" she groaned.

"Do we get nicknames?" Ashlynn asked, grinning.

"Of course!" Riley laughed. He began pointing towards the other girls at the tables. "Stinger." Laura. "Bones." Jade. "Ace." Ashlynn. "Scrappy." Alice. "Spider Monkey." Doerenda.

"Spider Monkey?" Ashlynn interrupted. She was trying to hold in her laughter.

"What, doesn't she remind you of a monkey?" Riley mused. He turned towards Doerenda. "Not saying you look like one. Where was I? Oh yeah. Gopher table time! There's…Red." He pointed towards Satine, apparently referring to Satine's tendency to blush. "Barbie." Leti. "Ding-dong." Effie. "Care Bear." Rachel. "Pinky." Charity. Unfortunately, that nickname was specifically just for annoying Charity. It worked. "And of course, Kitten!" He winked at Rosetta.

"What's with all the nicknames?" Allister asked.

"Probably because he's too lazy to remember our names…" Jade muttered. Rosetta laughed, and high-fived Jade.

"Speaking of," Riley chuckled, gesturing to all the guys at the Bass table. "Every guy here shall be called Dude. And over at the Gopher table…every guy shall be called…Debby."

There was a short pause.

_Debby?! _Came the unison cry from the guys at the Gopher table. Everyone, even admittedly Rosetta, shook with laughter.

Meanwhile (after that incredibly strange moment) things at the Gopher table were going much smoother. Hunter was clearly the man of the hour; he got congrats from everyone there. Effie finally got that duct-tape off her mouth, so she was blabbering on to everyone. Ashlynn kept sneaking glances towards Raphael from across the room. Whenever he looked back at her, Ashlynn immediately would look back down, and pretend to be interested in her food.

"So, what do you guys think is gonna happen in the next challenge?" Warren asked, trying to start a steady conversation.

"I heard two contestants were coming," Joel told excitedly.

"Really?" Leti was excited as well. "Where'd you hear that?"

"I could hear Chef talking to Chris about it! I guess they thought we were all asleep…" he laughed.

"Wait," Raphael interrupted. "What were you doing in the mess hall…after dark? You know how crazy Chef would go on you if he caught you?"

"CRAZY?! You got a PROBLEM with me boy?!" Chef shouted from the kitchen.

"No sir!" Raphael shouted back. Joel played it cool as he answered Raphael's question.

"I forgot my wallet here. It must've slid out during lunch." He explained. Raphael muttered something under his breath.

"What was that?" Joel said angrily. Raphael looked up, and feigned confusion.

"I didn't say anything…"

Okay, maybe things weren't going _quite_ so smoothly.

"Uh, so…who do you think is gonna come?" Satine asked quickly, desperate to change the subject.

"I don't know," Joel muttered. "I didn't hear that much."

"I hope one of those cute couples! Like Duncan or Courtney, or Bridgette and Geoff, ooh! Or Gwen and Trent!" Effie smiled. "But do you know who I would _really_ like? Izzy! Oh my gosh, she would be so freakin' awesome to have! Why I remember this one time…" Effie took a big breath, prepared to go on a super-long story.

"Anyone got the duct tape?" Hunter asked.

They all shook their heads. Even Effie did, for some reason.

"We'll probably get stuck with Katie and Sadie…" John sighed.

"Hey! Their friendship was cute, don't you think?" Charity objected. "I mean, they were always there for each other…don't you think it'd be nice to have someone close to you like that?" She and Allister exchanged glances, and both of them blushed and looked away.

"I think so too Charity," Kenny agreed. "Hm…but what if they bring…Eva and Ezekiel?"

Everyone shuddered.

"Ignoring the fact that you eavesdropped on us, you are correct! Two contestants are coming later today to start help out with your next challenge. For now, go back to your cabins and do…I dunno…whatever it is you guys do!" Chris announced on the megaphone. They all ran out, eager to get away from the mess hall.

**Killer Bass Cabin—Girls:**

"That was the longest breakfast of my life," Rosetta said through clenched teeth as she pushed the door open.

"Oh come on, that was kinda cute," Alice laughed. "He is _so_ into you." Laura smirked.

"Although most of us are having trouble seeing why." She jeered. Jade threw herself on her bed.

"You guys are loud," She mumbled rolling around in her covers. "And I'm so tired…" Much to Jade's annoyance, Doerenda began jumping on the bed on top of hers.

"I'm so excited! What'll he make us do? Maybe we'll fight each other to the death!" Doerenda squealed. All of the girls stared at her.

"No Doerenda, I don't think that's it…" Ashlynn said slowly.

**Killer Bass—Boys:**

"You guys ready to beat the crap out of those Gophers?" Riley shouted as he burst into the room, grinning.

"Whoo-hoo," Allister yawned unenthusiastically. "Can we do it in…an hour or two?"

"Hey," Thomas said, surprised. "Allister has a sense of humor!"

"Who knew?" Kevin snickered.

"Yes, aren't I hilarious?" Allister droned. "Moving the subject away from me, I'm confused, who are all the romances here? I think I lost track."

"Well," Thomas hummed. "There's Kevin and Doerenda, I think that ones the most obvious." Kevin turned a few shades of red.

"There's me and Kitten," Riley added.

"Something gives me the feeling Rosetta isn't quite into you," Kevin mocked. Riley raised his eyebrows tauntingly.

"Oh trust me; it's only a little while before she falls for my charms…" Riley said confidently. "Moving back on topic, I'm pretty sure it's obvious Allister and Charity are the Gwen and Trent of this season…Hopefully, minus the drama. Try not to let Laura kiss you, ok? We don't want a replay of last season."

"Hm…there's also Thomas and Rachel." Allister mused, ignoring Riley's comments. Thomas looked down sheepishly, forgetting he had let that secret go to Allister.

"Have you noticed the Bass Guys are the all off the guys involved in the romances?" Riley asked thoughtfully.

"What about Jade and John…or Ashlynn and Raphael?" Thomas objected.

"I dunno, those seem kinda more 'just friends' if you ask me." Kevin murmured.

"Shall we keep an eye out to see if they kick it up a notch?" Riley inquired, elbowing Kevin with a grin.

"No doubt." Kevin agreed.

**Screaming Gophers—Girls:**

"Please tell me Effie, why did you put duct tape on _yourself?_" Satine sighed, applying cream to the redness around Effie's lips.

"It was fun!" Effie whined, wincing on cue. "Maybe if I get on the megaphone post again tomorrow…"

"NO." Charity growled.

"I don't sleep enough as it is…" Rachel sighed, shaking her head.

"What do you guys think of your nicknames?" Leti asked randomly. She was spinning on a chair near her mirror cheerfully. "I think mines flattering. Barbie!" She giggled. "I guess I do look pretty nice!"

"Mine is kind of embarrassing…" Satine mumbled. "Red? Sheesh. I know I blush a lot but…"

"I love mine!" Effie burst out. "Ding-dong! It's so fun to say! Ding-dong! Ding-dong!"

"Oh now you've done it…" Charity muttered to Leti.

"I see someone doesn't like her nickname," Rachel giggled.

"Pinky? Honestly! What the (**censored**)?!" Charity shouted.

**Confession Cam: It's not as bad as the American censorship…**

Chris laughed so hard he wiped a tear from his eye.

"Oh boy," he snickered. "Although that was total comedic gold, censorship has a few taboos. Maybe one day…"

**Gophers Cabin—Boys:**

"That was a handful," Warren sighed, leaning against the wall. Everyone else nodded in agreement.

"Do you guys see any winner potential?" Kenny asked.

"Meh," Hunter said, shrugging. "No one stands out." He stood up, smugly. "Can't say the same thing for me though."

_"We know, we know. You're the great Hunter. You won the first challenge. Hooray." _Raphael thought impatiently.

"A winner huh?" Joel mused. "Well, I know who sure doesn't look like a straight shooter. Any of those Bass dudes. Total losers. Especially that Riley dude. I swear, if he calls me Debby even once, I am going to sock him in the face."

"Agreed." John chuckled.

The campers stood at the Dock of Shame, where the Boat of Losers was about to drop off two losers from last season…who were none other then…

Noah and Cody!

"Oh my Gosh!" Leti squealed. "Are you guys a couple now? Is that why you came together?"

"No, we are _not_ a couple!" Noah shouted, annoyed. "Good Lord, I've known you for five seconds and I already don't like you."

"Pretty defensive," Rosetta commented slyly. "_Sexually frustrated_ one might say." Most everyone roared in laughter.

"I don't like you either," Noah said, scowling.

"We're here because we were considered the two smartest contestants on the island," Cody explained. The only one being calm…

"Nice to see you guys!" Chris greeted, side-stepping in front of the current contestants. "You guys ready to help me out with this challenge?"

"Sure thing Chris," Cody laughed.

Chef appeared out of nowhere and began taking the contestants one by one and throwing them to the other side of the campgrounds.

"No crossing until they're done!" He warned. "Unless you want to try to go by me!"

And let's face it; _nobody _was stupid enough to try a stunt like that.

While the campers waited, they could hear the sounds of wrenches and hammers and…a chainsaw? Oh wait, that was Chef.

"Alright campers!" Noah, Cody, and Chris's voices came over the megaphone all at once. "Are you guys ready for the second challenge?" Cheers erupted from the twenty-one contestants and they all ran over eagerly.

What they saw were ten amazing karts, seating two. They also noticed what looked like a starting line, a traffic light, and Chef who was once again dressed in a ref outfit.

Everything snapped into place.

"So," Chris said casually. "How many of you are familiar with the game _Mario Kart?_"

**(IMPORTANT A.N.) Whoo-hoo! Mario Kart! You know what that means, right? Racing, tons of crashes, and all around craziness. Anyways, the reason this A.N. is important is because there's a NEW RULE for voting.**

**The new rule is…You cannot vote for your love interest! Remember, the Bass guys talked about who's a couple and who's not…yet. Not a couple unless you want them to be, haha. The reason for the rule is because…well one, I'm evil, and two…people have been voting for their love interest. Like I said, Ashlynn and Raphael, and Jade and John are not a couple…unless you want them to be.**

**Anyways, I like how this chapter turned out, do you guys? Tell me what you think, and what I can improve on.**

**Today's Question (which has nothing to do with the chapter but is fun anyway…)**

**"A criminal is condemned to death. He has to choose between three rooms: The first is full of raging fires, the second is full of assassins with loaded guns, and the third is full of lions that haven't eaten in 3 years. Which room is safest for him?"**

**There you have it! And…I hope you like your nicknames! (And to all the Gopher guys I'm sorry if Riley is going to cause you to lose your dignity in the following chapters.)**


	5. Rules of the Road

_"How many of you are familiar with the game Mario Kart?"_

Raphael raised his hand slightly, and then lowered it when he realized it was a rhetorical question.

Twenty-one pairs of eyes stared in amazement as Chris stood over the race cars, explaining the rules to the challenge. Chris smirked, and sat down on the hood of the nearest kart casually.

"Here's how things are gonna work out. Ten pairs--" Immediately John cut him off.

"Uh, that leaves one person out." He reminded Chris.

"I'm getting there!" Chris shouted. "Like I was saying, ten pairs will be driving these karts, one pair to a kart. You will be driving one lap around the island, where we have set up numerous things…" He gestured towards a variety of objects lying on the sand below him. "We have as you see…boxes with question marks on them. These could have anything in them. Some might resemble Mario Kart items, and some might just be some stuff we found lying around."

**Confession Cam: Open with caution**

Jade rolled her eyes.

"Just some stuff we found lying around…" Jade mocked. "Right. That could be anything from a flamethrower to a pile of Chef's cooking. I don't know which one is more frightening."

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Chris continued.

"We also have a few…surprises."

**Confession Cam: Back so soon?**

Now, Jade appeared to be making a list.

"Quick sand, explosives, mechanical problems, the Sasquatchanakwan, Chef chasing us with God knows what, someone _else_ chasing with God knows what, jellyfish, oil slicks, angry animals, and Eva…and those are just _some_ of the scariest things from last year. I'm sure one or more of those things will be fit into this challenge as a…" Jade made quotation marks with her fingers. "Surprise."

----------------------------------------------------

"What about the leftover person?" Hunter asked, annoyed along with John at Chris. Chris ignored him.

"The point of these items is simple. After all, one person is driving, the other one has to do something right? That person will be handling all items. They've got to grab them off the ground, open 'em up, and use them however they see fit." Chris sighed reluctantly. "And here's the information about the pairs, and…the leftover person." Hunter and John cheered for their small victory.

"You can choose what pair you are in. However, unlike the game, once you pick a position you cannot switch. Unlike cartoon characters, I doubt that you can switch seats while continuing to drive the car. Not that I care about your safety, but it's not the best idea for everyone to crash so much. Lost limbs don't make for good TV…" Noah rolled his eyes, (something he seemed to do a lot…) and sidestepped in front of the host.

"Uh, allow me to get to some more points for the instructions. The leftover person from the Gophers…" Noah hesitated, and Cody stepped in awkwardly.

"Well, Chef is going to help us out with that one." Cody finished. Chef immediately stepped onto the scene, wearing a blindfold and carrying a humongous water balloon.

"Eenie…meanie…miney…muffin…" He mumbled. Chef quickly tossed the balloon towards the gathered Gophers, and it landed on the unfortunate Kenny. Even worse, the balloon was filled with paint. Bright white paint.

"Aw man!" Kenny cried.

"Congrats, Kenny!" Chris cheered. "You've won invincibility for this round!"

"Yay…" Kenny groaned. "Can I please wash this off?"

"Nope!" Chris said, grinning. "You're ref my friend! Go stand over by the starting line…which is also the finish line…" Kenny sighed and did as he was told.

"Okay," Cody concluded. "To sum things up…basically go ahead and pick a partner, head over to a car, get ready, and go to the starting line. You'll be going around the island once and ending up back where you started. The first duo to cross will have their team win (so obviously your partner has to be on the same team) the next two duos to cross will win immunity as well. If a duo from your team crosses first, and then you cross, well…kinda pointless I suppose, but it makes more campers from the opposing team up for elimination. Everybody understand?" The campers nodded.

"Good," Noah said impatiently. "Now go and pick your partners already!" The campers scrambled instantly. Doerenda pretty much glomped Kevin, who was more then happy to go with her. Thomas and Allister went in the same car, and Thomas was apparently trying to seek romantic advice, although Allister kept trying to insist he was not a ladies' man. No matter how much Thomas seemed to think he was. As Rosetta began climbing in an untouched car, Riley stepped into the passenger's seat.

"Oh _hell_ no," Rosetta growled, immediately stepping out. "Hey, Jade? You got a partner yet?" Jade shook her head, surprised that Rosetta wanting to go with her. "Well, it looks like you've got one now," Rosetta finished, grinning a little. Jade grinned back, and they both went over to a new car. One that was Riley-less. Alice jumped into Riley's empty driver's seat, no questions asked.

The nice and friendly Ashlynn was stuck with Laura. Silently, Ashlynn looked up to the sky and wondered what she did to make karma hate her.

Moving along with the Gopher pairs, Hunter offered to go with Leti, who squealed and ran over, although she seemed somewhat confused with the controls. Much to the _huge_ confusion of everyone, Effie grabbed Raphael and threw him in a car, along with herself. Rachel and Satine shyly stepped into a car together. Warren politely asked Charity if she wanted to go with him. Charity agreed, although secretly she wished she could've gone with Allister. Joel and John were the last two, and they didn't seem to mind the arrangement.

The ten pairs buckled up and waited at the starting line.

"Okay, so we'll count to three and Kenny will blow the whistle…" Noah shouted over the roars of the engines. "Once you hear the whistle, then go!"

"Three! Two! One!" The campers inched forward, their toes just hovering slightly over the pedals. With excited expressions on their faces, they waited for the whistle. It never sounded. Instead, they heard a rather comical _pffft. _

"Um…" Kenny mumbled, his face red. "I think it's broken." Chef walked over there and yanked the whistle out of his hands.

"Gimme that!" Chef growled. He took a deep breath and blew the whistle. The resulting sound was ear shattering. The campers seemed a little shaken, none of them going yet. Their ears were still ringing.

"Go maggots, GO!" Chef shouted. Tires screeched as the campers hit their pedals.

Jade was right. As the campers progressed around the island, they could see oil slicks, explosives, and numerous other things set up to mess them up. It was easy to see that this challenge was going to be a hard one.

Raphael and Effie seemed to progress ahead of everyone easily, and the other nine pairs could see why Effie picked the shy young fellow. Raphael obviously knew a lot about the game, and he was an excellent navigator. Effie was obviously enjoying herself, she squealed and starting telling Raphael the story of how she used a clown car once to escape from the RCMP.

"And you wouldn't believe it, I spun down the street, there was a clown in the backseat! So I told him to get out, but he didn't want to get out, because the car was moving, so I stopped the car and glared at him and pushed him out. And then I threw my shoe at him…" Effie rambled as she quickly spun around a dangerous pit. Raphael pretended to be interested in her story.

"Oh look!" Effie shouted. "An item! Grab it!" Raphael obliged, and leaned down to swoop it up. He ripped open the box, and inside he found about a hundred marbles.

"Perfect," Raphael said, smiling.

Meanwhile, Warren and Charity were progressing not too far behind. Charity was a good driver, although Warren was suspicious that her anger from what happened earlier at breakfast was what was making her so good.

"Pinky…" Charity muttered, only proving Warren's suspicions. "What a moron. What a…" Warren cleared his throat and tried to change the subject.

"So, Charity, how do you like it here?" He asked. Charity looked up, a bit confused at the small talk. She shrugged.

"It's alright. The food sucks and some of the people suck, but there are…some nice people." She smiled sheepishly. "You included." Warren laughed.

"Thanks. I'm…uh…glad you don't consider me suck-ish." There conversation was interrupted as Doerenda and Kevin zoomed up beside them.

"Hi!" Doerenda giggled, holding what looked suspiciously like a flamethrower.

**Confession Cam: Finally someone else gets a turn!**

Chris smirked.

"Looks like Jade got that one dead on."

---------------------------------------------

"Uh, Doe?" Kevin said slowly, as he kept his eyes on the obstacle-covered beach. "Don't hurt the people, ok?" Doerenda frowned, and lowered her flamethrower down to their kart. Raphael, seeing this, tossed his marbles towards Kevin and Doe's kart in an attempt to help Charity and Warren. However, both teams got caught in the flurry of marbles, and both crashed.

Doerenda sniffled as she clung to Kevin in their messed up kart.

"But I was having so much fun…" she whined. Kevin patted her shoulder.

"Um, we can go do something else…" he said awkwardly. "Wanna hang out?" Doerenda nodded her head up excitedly.

"Idiots!" Charity shouted after Raphael and Effie as they zoomed off. Warren put a hand on her shoulder, both comforting…and restraining.

"Whoops," Raphael breathed, as he sat back down. "Effie, watch out for that dynamite!" Effie swerved around the explosives. They didn't even notice the four karts coming up behind them, three of them from the Bass. But, we'll get to that later.

Moving on…

Satine and Rachel were falling behind. Rachel was an excellent driver, but Satine was a bit too shy when it came to throwing items at people.

"Look, I'm not exactly too fond of trying to hurt people either, but we really need to make sure we don't lose this ok?" Rachel said softly to Satine. Satine gulped, and nodded.

"Well that's all good then…" Satine replied weakly. "But what on Earth am I supposed to do with this?" She held up the item from the box she picked up. A banana peel.

"Argh!" Rachel shouted. "Can this get any worse?!"

"Yes," Satine mumbled. "You're heading straight for the water." And indeed she was. Rachel tried to turn away, but it was too late. The kart drove into the water, and the two girls swam out, soaking wet and thoroughly disappointed.

Passing those two was Allister and Thomas. Thomas was still trying to seek advice on how to talk to Rachel, and Allister was just trying to not crash.

"Look," Allister said, exasperated. "Will you just open the box already?" Thomas glanced at the tiny box he had picked up, and wondered what he could possibly be in there that could help them. Sighing, he opened it, and found a large thumb tack.

"Hey Allister?" Thomas asked, his smile widening. "Try to get close to a Gopher kart ok?"

And _that_ unfortunate Gopher kart would be Hunter and Leti. Leti was talking about some lip gloss she had bought not too long ago, and Hunter couldn't help but stare at the blonde beauty, even though she was being somewhat unhelpful. She hadn't picked up any boxes yet, after all.

"Oh hey!" Leti exclaimed cheerfully, looking behind their kart. "Who're those two?" She asked Hunter, not remembering their names. Hunter glanced behind.

"Those would be Allister and Thomas…" he told Leti. "They're from the Bass team. I really don't like that look on Thomas's face though, it's creeping me out."

"With good reason my friend," Thomas laughed, as Allister drove up to the left of their kart. Thomas then stuck the large pin in the back tire of the wheel and they drove off. The result was really quite simple. Hunter and Leti were stuck with a flat tire.

"Oooh…" Leti purred, picking up a box right to their no longer moving kart. "What's this?" She opened the box and made a confused face at its contents. "It's a button! A big red button! Let's press it!" Not bothering to ask for Hunter's consent, Leti pushed the big red button.

Ahead of them, Thomas and Allister's kart just stopped moving.

**Confession Cam: Seriously, give someone else a turn!**

Chris was unsuccessfully holding in his laughter.

"Mechanical problems. That's another one dead on for Jade."

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"Okay, looks like there are only four pairs left, us included." Ashlynn calculated as she scanned the area for any obstacles or items. Inside her mind, Ashlynn couldn't complain. Laura was useful. Mean, but useful. And even so…Laura hadn't made any snide comments to Ashlynn. Yet.

"The nerd and crazy girl are first…" Laura replied, keeping a cool gaze as she smoothly avoided obstacles. "The nick-name dude and the optimist are following them not too far behind…" she continued. Apparently, she was just as bad at remembering names as Riley was. "We're following in third. Those two are right behind us." She jerked a finger towards Rosetta and Jade. "And those other two Gophers are behind them. Come on, still no useful items?" Ashlynn shook her head.

"So far I've gotten some seriously crappy items. A jump rope, a stick, a rock…Well, the rock could be useful but I think I might get sued if I end up giving someone a concussion." And then, to Ashlynn's surprise, Laura laughed.

"This is kind of a crappy challenge, eh?" Laura added, chuckling. Ashlynn was bit too stunned to answer. What happened to the mean, snotty girl at breakfast this morning? She _had_ to have something up her sleeve…right?

"If you two are done daydreaming, you might want to…oh, I dunno, avoid the brick wall ahead of you?!" Rosetta shouted from one kart away from them. Ashlynn yelped, and Laura swerved out of the way harshly, the tires screeching all the while.

"Thanks!" Ashlynn said with a cheerful wave. Rosetta rolled her eyes and sat back down.

"Don't go hitting any more brick walls ok?" She told them sarcastically. Jade sniggered. Rosetta had told Jade all about the alliance, (inserting a few insults to Riley here and there) and asked Jade to join. In her own words, she wanted to "Add an actually sane mind" to the group. The two actually got along very well.

"Out of the way ladies!" Joel shouted as he and John drove up beside him. Rosetta and Jade were relieved; the two boys were not holding any items to speak of.

But then, Joel did something surprising. He reached into his pocket, and grabbed a pocket knife. With an evil grin, he flicked it on, and drove it into two of Rosetta and Jade's wheels. They spun out of control, and quickly jumped out to avoid getting hurt.

"That was a dirty trick!" Jade hissed as she helped Rosetta up.

"Seriously!" Rosetta agreed angrily. "If those two win, I am gonna beat the crap out of that dude!"

Riley and Alice saw the whole thing.

"That wasn't nice," Alice whined as she leaned against the steering wheel. Riley was annoyed.

"No it wasn't," He agreed through clenched teeth. "Let me see, what sort of item do I have for a couple of cheaters?" He had grabbed a whole stash of boxes. "Lemme see…aha. This'll do." He picked up a large object that resembled a machine gun.

"What is that?" Alice asked, her eyes widening.

"It shoots ink, not bullets, don't worry." Riley assured her. He turned around, and aimed the gigantic ink machine-gun…thing…at John and Joel.

"Get ready for some turbulence!" Riley warned, as he shot gallons of ink at the boys. Their kart and their entire bodies were covered in ink once he was done.

"Can't…see…" John complained. And then, the inevitable happened. They crashed. Surprised? I'm not.

It was now down to Laura with Ashlynn, Riley with Alice, and Raphael with Effie. Finally, the leading pair of Raphael and Effie realized everything that was happening behind them. If they didn't realize it while Riley brought his machine gun out, the next thing Riley did certainly caught their attention.

"OY! DEBBY! INCOMING!" Riley shouted.

"_Debby?" _Raphael thought, confused. He caught a glance of the orange-head smirking a couple feet behind him. _"Oh yeah. Debby would be me."_ Riley was holding none other then…a bright red dodge ball. He threw it at Raphael, it whapped him in the head and broke his glasses, something that Ashlynn did just last challenge.

**Confession Cam: The author has an odd sense of humor**

Raphael examined his broken glasses and sighed.

"Why do I have a feeling this is gonna be a running gag?"

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"Ugh," Raphael groaned as he slumped down, closing his eyes and rubbing his bump on the side of his head.

"Are you ok?" Effie asked in a concerned tone. Raphael nodded weakly. "Hey…what's that?" Effie glanced upwards as a small object cast a shadow over their kart.

"What does it look like?" Raphael replied, both unable to see well and unwilling to move much at all.

"Hm…it's blue…and has wings…and it looks like it has a spike on top of it." Effie mused, tapping her chin. Raphael stood up straight and waved his arms frantically.

"It's a first place blue shell! Effie, do something!" He said hurriedly.

"Do what? I dunno what to do! I don't play this game! I don't have a TV! Well, there was one in the RCMP when I got captured one time and escaped quickly afterwards, but that's another story!" Effie cried. Raphael groaned.

"How is that thing even flying?!"

Elsewhere, Chris waved a remote and laughed manically.

The shell dive-bombed towards their kart and exploded on impact. It then sent the duo hurling towards…the finish line?

"Step on it!" Riley ordered Alice, who was watching the scene that just happened with an amazed expression on her face. When she heard Riley's command, she quickly accelerated.

"And…we have a winner!" Kenny interrupted on the megaphone, surprising the two. "The winners are…Laura and Ashlynn! Congratulations you two!" Over at the finish line, Laura smiled.

"So, how were you able to win this? There's not a single scratch on your kart!" Cody commented as he stared at their unscathed kart.

"Well…" Ashlynn said sheepishly. "I guess that it helped that we stayed out of the way of the crossfire." Just as she finished, Raphael and Effie were blown over the finish line with their kart…which was on fire.

"Second place!" Chris announced. Riley and Alice spun around the corner and crossed the finish line.

"And third place goes to the last working kart!" Chris cheered. "Now, the Gophers must vote a person off…however, Raphael, Kenny and Effie are off limits! I'll meet you guys by the campfire.

----------------------------------------------------------------

The eleven Gophers sat down at the all-too familiar campfire. Chris called over Kenny, Raphael, and Effie, who eagerly grabbed their marshmallows and sat down on the other side.

"Hooray for invincibility!" Effie shouted as she stuffed the marshmallow into her mouth. The Gophers without invincibility glared at her.

"Gophers…very disappointed…" Chris sighed dramatically as he shook his head. "So close yet so far."

"And we blame you," Hunter growled, pointing an accusing finger towards the host. "You and your stupid blue shell." Chris pretended to be offended.

"Anyways, you know the drill! As I call your name, come on up and grab your marshmallow!" He gave each of the campers a long and hard stare. "Hunter. John. Rachel." The three went up and grabbed their marshmallows. "Warren. Joel. Charity." The other three went and grabbed them and sat down.

The leftover two were the still-happy Leti, and the nervous Satine.

"Both of you were quite frankly, useless in this challenge. Leti, you were too distracted with talking about lip gloss, and Satine, you refused to hit anybody. Don't you know Satine? This show is all about pain!" Chris chuckled. Satine pulled on her hair, anxious to hear the results.

"Ladies…the person safe this round is…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

Leti. Satine, you are going home today. Go take the Dock of Shame to the Boat of Losers and head on out. The remaining ten Gophers, go head to bed. I'm sure you all are _very_ tired. Trust me, you're gonna want your energy for the next challenge."

Ignoring Chris's orders, the ten campers hugged Satine, sad to see her go.

"I'll miss you guys," Satine cried, waving and walking over to the Dock of Losers. The boat drove off.

"Wait a minute," Rachel whispered to Kenny. "Isn't the Playa de Losers towards the right?" Indeed, the boat had driven off to the left.

"Weird," Kenny agreed, frowning. "I wonder what's going on…"

**(A.N.) Ah Satine, we're sad to see you go. Anyways, this was a pretty annoying chapter to write, so I'm glad it's done. And Sonowa, the creator of Raphael, haha…sorry I totally stole the win from you there. It's just that you mentioned those stupid blue shells, and I couldn't help myself…**

**Three suspicious things are going on. One you saw up there with Satine's boat going the wrong way…the other is with Laura acting nice, and the third is a secret. I gave one obscure reference to it, but I kinda doubt anyone picked it up this early. The next challenge will be a late Halloween challenge, and it will involve a **_**lot**_** of romantic tension! However it won't involve your phobias. That's for another day… XD Oh by the way, Ashlynn and Raphael will be a couple, Jade and John will not. **

**Today's odd question! For an awesome secret prize I shall PM you about…if you get it right of course. So put your thinking caps on, and get ready.**

**"Before Mount Everest was discovered, what was the highest mountain on Earth?"**


	6. Couples, and Trains, and Mystery, Oh My!

The camera zoomed in closely to Chris, who was sitting in his jet ski on Lake Wawanakwa. His feet were dangling in the scummy water.

"Last time on Total Drama Island!" he began, saying the all-too familiar starting line. "You, the viewers, got to look closer into the relationships of the campers. Romances are developing…well, sort of. Later that day, the still-in-denial group of Noah and Cody came out to help out with the challenge. The campers soon found themselves racing in go-karts, in a simulation similar to the old favorite Mario Kart! Despite Raphael's expertise at the game, it was the Gopher's who lost, and Satine was the one sent home, due to her reluctance to truly get in the game." He paused.

"I bet your wondering why I'm out here in the lake, right? Well to find out, you'll have to watch this exciting episode of--"

"Are we there yet?" A sleepy Warren interrupted. The camera panned to the left, revealing the boat of losers, where the remaining twenty campers were piled together. Most were sitting where the 'losers' usually were left, some were lying down on the roof, and a few were stuck in the driving area with the big and angry Chef.

"Way to ruin the intro dude!" Chris said sourly. His expression quickly changed back to his trademark smile as he glanced back at the camera. "It looks like the campers are getting a field trip today, hm? Excited? Confused? To get all your answers, stay tuned for the most dramatic campfire ceremony yet, on Total! Drama! _Island_!

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After a short trip past the Playa de Losers and through the rest of the lake, the cramped and uncomfortable boat drew up towards the shore that surrounded lake Wawanakwa. The twenty contestants groaned, trying to stretch out their sore limbs. Chris just laughed as he jumped off his jet ski, and hopped on to an ATV that was placed at the edge of the forest conveniently.

"Dude," Kevin criticized. "Don't you get any exercise, ever?" Chris winked.

"Yes," he said cheerfully. "But I prefer to do it in a gym, in an air-conditioned room, with an exercise machine while watching TV. Now come on campers, you have woods to hike!"

The campers followed the path that was there for them. The temperature today was muggy and hot, bugs flew in swarms everywhere and trees only helped slightly by giving some shade. Twenty pairs of shoes scurried through the rough terrain, conversing all the while. Even off of Camp Wawanakwa…the forest here was creepy, to be frank.

"What was that?" Rachel cried as something big rustled through the bushes.

"Relax Care Bear," Riley said sarcastically. "I mean it's not like there's some strange and unidentifiable animals in this area…oh wait, never mind." Rosetta glared at him.

"Stop trying to psych her out!" She snapped. "This place is scary enough." Riley tipped an imaginary hat.

"Scary, huh? Don't worry Kitten. I'll protect you." He proclaimed. Rosetta whapped him in the back of the head. When Riley looked at her and raised an eyebrow, Rosetta smiled.

"Sorry," she said innocently. "I saw a mosquito there."

Riley smirked.

Rosetta and Rachel jogged up ahead to catch up with the rest of the group, and Allister slunk back to talk with Riley.

"Why do you purposely get on her nerves like that?" He asked, somewhat curious to find out what was under Riley's smug and arrogant exterior. Riley shrugged in response.

"She's funny when she's angry. She's also somewhat hot when she's angry." He replied. Allister rolled his eyes. Rosetta hearing this, did the same as Allister.

**Confession Cam: The haters keep a-comin'**

"I don't understand why people keep looking for a _deep and sensitive_ side to Riley," Rosetta muttered, shaking her head with a scowl. "Trust me. Riley is a pure-bred haughty, cute, arrogant, self-conceited moron." She paused, and then realized one of the words she added to the list. "Did I say cute?! I did not say cute! Argh! Turn that damn thing off!" She swiped at the camera angrily.

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Raphael, who was currently in the back of the group, was tempted to add his own two cents, but decided against it.

**Confession Cam: Probably the better choice**

"All his jibes to Rosetta are just so he can get her attention. And it works." Raphael shrugged as if this were the simplest thing in the world. "Not like I was about to say that _aloud_…at the risk of getting beat up, that is. Or getting hit with another dodge ball." He shuddered. "Who knows where they're hiding those things."

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"Oh man," Charity breathed as she stared up into the beaming sun. "I am _so_ tired. Woken up at five-thirty in the morning, shoved in a cramped boat with nineteen others, and then hiking for another two hours…when will it end?!" Allister smiled beside her.

"Looks like just about now," he murmured, pointing to the clearing to the forest. It was true! Effie zoomed up in front of everyone, still full of energy, but apparently eager to be out of the frightening forest.

"Hallelujah!" She squealed. "No more bristles, no more mud!"

Doerenda whooped and threw her arms in the air. Unfortunately, she was holding on to Kevin's hand, so she ended up hitting him in the nose and knocking him over.

"Oh my gosh!" She cried. "Are you okay?!" Kevin stood up and swayed uneasily.

"Yeah," he mumbled. "Geez, you're really strong." He rubbed his nose and winced to prove his point. Chris rode up to them in his ATV, and clicked his tongue.

"Better not be broken dude," he warned. "Unless you want Chef to be the one to fix it," Chris pointed towards the burly fellow, who was stomping furiously through the remainder of the forest. Upon hearing his name, Chef growled and turned towards them.

"And if I have to put that nurse's outfit on because of your nose…you…will…PAY!" He shouted and shook his fist at them. Kevin yelped and said in a quick voice—

"No, it's fine, it's fine!" Chef glared at him.

"For your sake boy, it better be!"

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"It's…a train," Jade commented dully. "This challenge is happening…on a train." Yes indeed, right outside the clearing of the forest and a little farther ahead was a train station, and the twenty campers plus the two incredibly evil adults were now looking at a short black train, about twenty carts long.

"Whoo-hoo!" Alice cried enthusiastically. "I love trains!" Laura began to pretend to cough.

"…brownnose…" she insulted in-between phony coughs. Leti was confused.

"But how do we get on top of it…?" She asked dizzily.

"We go _inside_ it genius," Joel grunted. Hunter glared at Joel, and Chris shook his head.

"Campers, campers! This is not the challenge! This is the _ride_ to the challenge! The real challenge is a day train-ride away!" The campers stared at him in disbelief.

"So we're riding on a dirty, smelly flea-infested train for a whole…" John started furiously. Even without going inside, he was sure the train would be just as bad as the camp. Anything to save money, right? Chris seemed to read John's thoughts.

"Wrong!" He sang. "Step inside campers, and enjoy this lovely train…a trip on the lap of luxury!" No one believed Chris's claims that the train was actually nice, but as soon as they stepped in…

"It's wonderful!" Kenny gasped.

"It's amazing!" Hunter agreed.

"It's a cleverly thought out distraction to tempt us to let our guard down while something horrible is gnawing at our sides," Jade muttered, but no one heard her.

The train was beautiful. Instead of seats there were actually _rooms_, one for each contestant, with their name on a sign on the front door. Each cart had a luxury in it, whether it was a restaurant, a jacuzzi, a souvenir shop, or even an arcade. Every cart was painted crimson, with matching velvet carpet and golden curtains draped across every window.

The rooms were large and spacious with a king-sized bed, a mini-fridge, a desk, and a large window that showed the train passing by its surroundings. As some campers went to their rooms to get some shut-eye, others began to walk around the train to explore. Chris followed them, watching their reactions with an eerily creepy grin. However, it was Ashlynn who seemed to be the least excited about the train.

**Confession Cam: Chris is an evil mastermind**

"I dunno," Ashlynn sighed, sitting down not in the regular confession cam, but a nice-looking _clean_ stall. "This is nice, and I mean _really_ nice, but Chris never gives us something good with something bad right around the corner. I'd have to agree with Jade, this is a ruse, a clever ploy to get us confused about the real challenge. I mean, look at this place! Why'll I'm here though, I might as well enjoy myself," she mumbled. She glanced around at her for a brief moment, and began speaking in a hushed and excited tone. "This place actually has food! Edible, _real_ food! I haven't had that…in…in…weeks!" And then, Ashlynn skipped off, probably to go gorge herself.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

Leti skipped through the stalls, humming to herself. She was more than happy that she wasn't voted off last challenge, but she was wondering how to prove herself to make sure she wasn't stuck in that position again. After a few failed attempts of thinking up a strategy, she walked over to where Chris was staying, and knocked on the door to ask him a question.

"What's up, Leti?" Chris asked, standing in the doorway.

"Nothing much," Leti sang. "I was just wondering if there's room service!" Chris grinned.

"Sure thing. Follow me, I'll show you our…staff." He replied. Leti wasn't sure why he hesitated on the word 'staff', but that was beside the point. I mean, come on. She wanted that room service!

Three carts down, Chris picked up a small brass bell from a counter. He rang it, and two young girls came out from a door behind the counter. One was incredibly angry looking girl, with black hair and eyes of the same color. The other was somewhat crazy looking, with messy brown hair and very pale skin. The angry girl glared at him with intense hatred.

"What's the matter Krm? Vannie?" Chris asked tauntingly.

"I'll tell you what's wrong," Krm, the angry one, hissed. "You're making me wear a frickin' maid's uniform! That is wrong, man! WRONG! Where'd I put my bazooka?!" Leti stepped back, both confused and frightened.

"Don't call me Vannie!" The other one blurted out, picking up the bell and chucking it at Chris's head.

"Ow!" Chris shouted as the bell ricocheted off his head, making a _ding _in the process.

"Chris," Leti whispered, pulling on his sleeve like a little girl. "Who are these people?" Chris patted her head.

"These guys are here to make your stay…comfortable." Leti frowned, despite the supposedly reassuring answer. Chris was hesitating, again.

"What's with all the noise?" A new male voice yawned. He stepped out of the door, rubbing his green eyes. This one had black messy hair and wore a T-shirt with jeans, opposed to the two girls' maids' uniforms. He glanced at the present company, and sighed.

"Krm threatened to bring her bazooka out because of her outfit, didn't she?" He guessed.

"Got that right, Kendrick." Krm growled. "Of all the stupid sexist…" She paused. "Speaking of…" Krm grabbed Chris by the collar and flung him over the counter, into the open door. Vannesa and Kendrick followed. Kendrick smiled politely at Leti before closing the door on her.

Now, inside the staff's room, things weren't going so nicely.

"I thought you said we were gonna be able to help freak out the contestants in a haunted mansion," Vannesa complained, running her fingers through her wild hair.

"She's right!" Krm shouted. "Instead, you put us as _maids _on a _train_,and you're gonna make us cater to these guys?!" Chris's smile never left his face.

"Now come on. Haunted mansions? So cliché." Chris mused. Kendrick snorted.

"Right. Then all that crap about this just being a ride was because…?"

"Because," Chris replied coolly. "They'll never see it coming on here. Sure, you guys have to put up with this for a little bit, but in an hour or so, trust me. Things are gonna start getting interesting around here…"

Vannesa was ecstatic.

"And then we get to bring out the bazookas?!" She asked hopefully. Kendrick pinched the bridge of his nose, wondering why he signed up for this.

"No, Vannesa. That's still illegal." He told her.

The four walked out, and Leti was still at the counter, albeit a bit nervous.

"Leti!" Chris greeted. "Go ahead and head back to your rooms. These lovely ladies will bring you a nice lunch." When Leti didn't move, Kendrick put a hand on her shoulder kindly.

"Hey, are you okay?" Kendrick asked her.

"_Back off_!" Hunter shouted, appearing out of nowhere and grabbing Leti by the shoulders. Hunter quickly pulled her away from Kendrick. Leti blushed at the attention.

"Geez Hunter, he just asked if I was okay…" she giggled. Hunter cleared his throat.

"Right. Let's grab some lunch, Leti."

"Okay!" Leti squealed.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Raphael stared out his window in his room quietly, thinking about past events. He was determined to not have the Gopher's lose again, ("Stupid blue shell…" he seemed to mutter a lot) but something else was bothering him, something he couldn't quite put his finger on. There was a knock at his door.

"Can I come in?" A quiet voice asked. Ashlynn.

_"Ah. That would be it."_ Raphael thought, before answering with a –"Come in."

Ashlynn entered the room, beaming and holding a big plate of food.

"I thought you might want some," she said softly. "There's a huge buffet on this train, are you hungry?"

"No thanks," Raphael replied, turning around to face her. Frowning, Ashlynn sat down on his bed right down beside him. Raphael didn't object, although he was slightly red at the fact that this was the closest he'd been to a girl.

"What's up with you?" She asked irritably. Raphael was set off by the surprising question.

"I…why do you ask?" He mumbled. Ashlynn threw her hands in the air.

"You're so silent all the time. Especially since the last challenge. It doesn't hurt to talk more, you know." She said. Raphael shrugged.

"That's really an odd thing to question me about. You might as well ask why Laura is such a jerk, why Rosetta has such a temper, or why Leti is such a ditz. It's in my nature, and it's in their nature. I can't help it." He told her. Ashlynn stared at him, and then brook out in a goofy smile.

"Well, maybe sometime you can hang out with me. I can show you how to have a little more fun." She kissed him on the cheek, before getting up to leave. Before she left completely, she said in the doorway—

"You've got to tell people what you want. If you do it all the time, of course it gets annoying, but it doesn't hurt to speak up."

Raphael couldn't reply. He was still on the verge of fainting.

**Confession Cam: Please excuse him if he collapses**

Raphael sat in the (clean) stall, pulling on his collar with a bright red face. He babbled incoherently for a few moments, then took out his coin and began flipping it frantically before the camera changed to static and flicked to Ashlynn.

"What? Oh, it was just a friendly kiss on the cheek." Ashlynn laughed. "Sure, Raphael's nice, cute, and smart but..." she paused, and realized that she had no end to the sentence. "But um..." she tried again. It was Ashlynn's turn to blush. "Right. Better go finish my lunch." She said hurriedly.

----------------------------------------------------------------

Allister had been searching for Charity for a long time, just because he felt like talking to someone. He finally found her army-crawling on the carpet outside of Chris's room. Odd.

"Uh…what are you--" He started, before Charity pulled him down to the floor.

"Get down!" She hissed. Allister blinked rapidly.

"Well, mission accomplished there, now do you mind telling me what--" Once again Allister's sentence was incomplete, due to the fact that Charity clamed her hand over his mouth.

"Shut up!" She hissed, again. "I'm eavesdropping. Jade, Ashlynn, and I just _know_ something fishy is going on, so we're gonna figure out what. No shut up before you get us caught!" Charity pressed her ear up to the door, and Allister mimicked her. They heard nothing for a few moments, and then some footsteps. The door then opened quickly, successfully smashing into Allister's face. Chris was in the doorway, of course.

"Well this is unexpected," he said dryly. "Two campers at the bottom of my door. Uh…any reason?" Charity stood up and straightened herself out.

"All his idea," Charity said innocently, pointing towards Allister. Chris glanced at Allister with an odd expression.

"Creepy," Chris commented, before going back inside and closing the door.

"Thanks," Allister said sarcastically. Charity grinned.

"I regret nothing!" She shouted, before running off.

---------------------------------------------------------------

Our next couple was hanging out in the buffet room. Being the only ones there, they were goofing off to a whole new level.

"Hey Doe," Kevin said cautiously. "Nothing's in that punch right?" He pointed towards the cherry-red drink Doerenda was holding.

"Of course not!" Doerenda laughed, grinning wickedly. She took a big swig of said drink, and then giggled drunkenly.

"That was quick," Kevin sighed, before Doerenda pulled him into a bear hug.

"Rawr! You're cute! Did you know that?" She asked. Kevin grinned back at her.

"No, I did not." He replied.

"Well let's go show everyone your cuteness!" Doerenda shouted, before dragging him across the room all the way to Effie's room. After knocking, Effie poked her head through the door.

"Hi!" Both girls said at the same time, then squealed when they realized they had just spoken in unison.

"Oh my gosh!" Effie wailed happily, "You guys are a couple now! And…" Effie tilted her head. "He's so cute!"

"I know, right?" Doerenda laughed.

"He should like, be a model," Effie slurred. Doerenda's grip around Kevin tightened.

"Hey," She hiccupped. "He's mine!" Kevin glanced at the two, and had something he wanted to add.

"I just have three questions," Kevin started. "How much punch did you guys drink, what on Earth is in that punch, and where can I get some?"

--------------------------------------------------------

Rosetta sat at edge of the very last cart on the train, dangling her feet off the edge. She was enjoying the silence, and especially enjoying the feeling of the wind through her hair, cliché as it sounded.

Of course, the silence was ruined by Riley.

"Hey!" He greeted, leaning against the railing. "What are you doing way back here?" Rosetta grimaced and jumped off the railing.

"Trying to get away from you," she answered sullenly.

"Aw come on," Riley complained. "Can't we have a civil conversation without going at each other's throats?"

"One problem," Rosetta replied.

"What's that?"

"I hate you."

Riley smirked for the millionth time that day.

"Get in line, Kitten. Get in line." Rosetta groaned at his response.

"What is your problem?" She asked angrily.

"I'm too awesome?" Riley guessed. Rosetta hit her face with her palm.

"If you want to have a civil conversation, you can start by not being an idiot," she warned. Riley shrugged.

"Simple enough. Alrighty then, have you heard what Charity, Jade, and Ashlynn think? They think something bad is gonna happen on the train." Rosetta frowned.

"Bad like what? Bad like we crash and die, or bad like the challenge is hidden here?" She asked. Another shrug from Riley.

"I'm guessing it's the challenge. But what the heck can there be to do on a train?"

Rosetta sighed.

"Never ask that on this show Riley, not unless you want something horrible to happen…" Riley put his arm around her waist.

"Well, at least I'm here with you…" he sang. Rosetta pushed him, hard.

"You are STILL such an idiot!" She shouted. Their dispute was interrupted as both Kenny, Joel, and John burst through the back door.

"Sorry to interrupt," Kenny said quickly. "But I think we have a problem!" Rosetta and Riley glanced at each other in distress.

"What's going on?" Riley asked, serious for once.

"Haven't you notice?" Joel screamed. "The whole frickin' train has stopped, we're in the middle of nowhere, and Chris, Chef, the staff, and Warren are missing!"

Now the two were really surprised. Their conversation must've made them not even notice the train had stopped. Even stranger was who was missing. Chef, Chris, and the staff being gone wasn't odd but...

"Warren?!" Riley exclaimed. "If this is a challenge, why would Warren be gone already?!"

"It can be for any number of reasons!" John groaned. "Everyone's freakin' out though. Except for Ashlynn, Jade, and Charity who are doing an 'I-told-you-so' dance in the hallways."

"Don't tell me," Rosetta sighed. "There's something else." The three other boys nodded.

"Well…the sun is setting, and soon it's gonna be pitch dark." Kenny whimpered.

Rosetta cracked her knuckles and grinned, realization dawning.

"All right! Looks like it's another 'survival-of-the-bravest' challenge. You punks ready?" She turned and faced the four boys, who glanced at each other.

"Not really," they all said quickly.

"Well that's too bad!" Rosetta barked, taking the four boys by the collar and dragging them into the dark, mysterious abyss of the dangerous train.

**Confession Cam: Like we said, evil masterminds!**

Chef put a pair of night vision goggles on his forehead.

"In case you're wondering out there, you viewing punks," he began as he addressed the audience. "I'm not gonna be hunting these weakling campers the way I did last season. Instead of me just chasing them, there's gonna be things like booby traps, scary 'monsters' and other stuff I'm not allowed to tell you…yet." He glanced sideways.

"But you know what? I'm making it my personal mission that Rosetta gets taken down. I want to see how brave she _really_ is."

**(A.N.) Yeeeeaaah. I lied. Not quite a Halloween one, but still fun, none the less. I'm not sure why a train came to mind, but ah well. I'm sure you noticed, loads of couple-y goodness this chapter! And more to come. I'm sorry, for all those who aren't in a couple, you didn't get quite as much screen time. However, I'll see to it that you get more.**

**Anyways…more mysteries! Where is Warren, and what else do the mystery cast have planned? For those who don't know, Krm and Vanessa's cameos were ShadowCatcher's prize. And Kendrick belongs to xxFireWarriorxx. All three shall have more evil goodness in the next chapter. I hope I portrayed your characters well.**

**Stay tuned for the next chapter, and don't forget to vote! Y'all forgot last chapter. XD Today's question…**

**"Mary's father has five daughters: 1. Nana, 2. Nene, 3. Nini, 4. Nono. What is the name of the fifth daughter?"**


	7. Bazookas and Paint Ball Collide!

The majority of the campers sat in a circle, discussing the current situation. Surrounding them was a ring of iPods, cell phones, and other lighted electronic devices, due to the fact that it was ten at night, and all the electricity in the train just _happened_ to stop working. Despite the somewhat impressive setup, most campers didn't have a clue what they were going to do.

"No rules, no Warren, no nothing! What on Earth is this challenge for?" Kenny groaned. A couple others muttered in agreement.

"No rules?" Rosetta repeated. "We've got all the proof we need. Mysterious disappearances, a supposedly 'frightening' environment…were you not listening to a word I said? This is a survival challenge."

"That might be true," Ashlynn said cautiously. "But we still don't know how they're hunting us down. I definitely think those two girls and that other boy are in it though." Leti let out a squeak at the mention of the staff.

"They scared me!" She cried. "One kept talking about bazookas, and the other threw a bell at Chris! The boy was okay though. He was nice."

"I didn't think so," Hunter muttered, whose face in all rights, could've been a green jealous shade.

"Hey," Raphael said slowly. "Where are Rachel, Alice, Thomas, and Laura?"

"I uh…" Jade frowned, looking around along with him. "I told them to head over here."

"Great," Kevin sighed. A drunken Doerenda was still clinging to his arm. "Four more disappearances, can this get any worse?" Riley covered his ears.

"Dude, don't jinx us!"

However, Rachel, Alice, Thomas, and Laura were _not_ gone. Jade, in a hurry, had simply shouted at each of their doors to head over there, without actually checking to see if they were in. And, unfortunately, they were not in. So, where were they?

Well…

Thomas had been pacing in the kitchen, trying to work up the courage to talk to Rachel. None of his Bass friends had been much help (Riley laughed at him, Allister didn't have any advice, and Kevin seemed to always be hanging out with Doerenda now, who had no problem talking to anyone…at all.)

"I could just go up and say hi…" he sighed, still pacing around the kitchen. As he had for the past hour and a half, completely unaware of everything going on around him. Even when the lights went off, he didn't seem to notice a thing! "But then what would I say? This is so difficult, man!"

"What's so difficult?" A new voice piped. Turning around, Thomas saw his major crush, Rachel. Immediately he yelped, tripped, and landed in a pile of pots and pans. Rachel flinched at the crashing noise.

"Yikes," she mumbled, helping Thomas up. "I'm not that scary, am I?" Thomas shook his head.

"No way, girl! You couldn't be scary even if you wanted to be," he said, smiling. Rachel smiled back.

"Is that supposed to be an insult?" She teased.

"I wasn't aiming for one," Thomas said quickly, then blushed and rubbed the back of his head. "So uh, what're you doing here?" Rachel winked.

"Well, I guess you haven't noticed Mr. Pacey, but the train has stopped and electricity's out. I don't know where everybody is, but I haven't looked very hard. I kinda crashed and had a major nap when we first got here, if you know what I mean." She laughed. Thomas laughed too.

_"It's so easy to talk to her,"_ Thomas thought. _"Effortless. She's just so…nice."_ Their friendship moment was ruined by Alice though. Because as always, people on this show seem to love ruining anything close to emotional.

"COWABUNGA!" Alice shouted, gliding through the kitchen on…roller skates? "Coming through!" She grinned, and stuck her tongue out. It was just then that Rachel and Thomas saw who was chasing her. Laura.

"Give that back, you Aussie freak!" She screamed, grabbing a frying pan off the counter and waving it over her head. "Those are expensive, you…you…" Laura seemed to be at a loss for insults.

"Brownnoser?" Alice guessed, referring to Laura's earlier insult that day and eyeing the angry blonde foolishly. "Well you can kiss this brownnoser's--" Before Alice could finish that (inappropriate) sentence however, the door slammed shut, making all four occupants of the kitchen flinch. Laura and Alice seemed to only just realize that Thomas and Rachel were just a few feet away from them.

Alice roller-skated over to them and high-fived them both. Then, she skated over to the door and tried opening it. It didn't budge.

"You're probably just too weak," Laura growled, pushing her away and trying to open the door with reasonable force. Still nothing. "Well that's just great! I'm stuck here with you!" She pointed a finger towards Alice. Shifting her gaze over to Thomas and Rachel, she shrugged. "I don't know much about you guys, so whatever."

"The point is," Rachel interrupted. "How are we gonna get out of here, and who did it?"

"I smell a challenge," Alice hummed.

"Escape from the kitchen?" Thomas chuckled, raising an eyebrow.

"Or rather," Laura snapped. "Escape from this godforsaken train. No electricity! I can't use my straightener!" Alice pretended to faint.

"The horror!" She gasped. Thomas and Rachel exchanged glances, and seemed to practically read each other's mind. Alice was usually such an optimist, why was she so sarcastic? Either Laura was bringing the worst out of Alice, or Alice had been spending too much time with Rosetta. A few minutes ticked by awkwardly, until Rachel broke the silence.

"This…is boring!" Rachel exclaimed. "Are you serious? We're stuck in a kitchen till someone rescues us? Can we _please_ have something a little more exciting than _this?_" Rachel wasn't expecting an answer, but she got one anyways.

"Your wish is my command…" an eerie voice replied, echoing through the walls. The campers didn't see it, but while the 'eerie' voice was talking, Krm was opening a trap door, revealing a large circular hole in the middle of the room.

"If you wish to escape…" the voice continued. "Would you…take the plunge for it? Risk whatever may lie at the bottom?" Laura rolled her eyes.

"This is ridiculous and cheesy!" She shouted. "Chris, Chef, stupid maids…whoever the heck it is, give it a rest! We know this is a challenge, so stop trying to freak us out! Totally pathetic!" The mysterious voice chuckled.

"Whatever you say Laura, whatever you say…" then, the hole in the floor began to grow (although it was Krm, who was just still just making the trap door opening larger.) Insane laughter came from the recesses of the abyss.

"Okay," Rachel said quickly. "If this is a challenge, I doubt this we're supposed to go in there!" The other three nodded. Thomas suddenly hit his face with his palm.

"This is the very last cart, isn't it?" Thomas sighed. Once again, there were nods from the other three. "So there really is no other escape. Unless…" he squinted, staring at the other side. "Is there an emergency door on the other side?"

"Only way to find out is to jump!" Alice shouted, and then zoomed towards the other side of the cart with her roller skates. She took a wild jump and made it to the other side. The other three attempted to do the same, but without the roller skates, they pretty much failed.

Laura, Thomas, and Rachel seemed to be spiraling towards the hole with no hope, but Alice made a blind grab and managed to grab Laura's braid.

"Well dang," Alice sighed. "I didn't want to get you!"

"Oh bite me," Laura hissed. They both winced together as they heard Thomas's and Rachel's screams from the hole.

"They'll be okay…" Alice whispered. "This is just a challenge, they'll be okay." Laura seemed less concerned with their safety and more ecstatic over the fact that there _was_ an emergency door. The two girls pushed it open, and found Vanessa waiting for them, smirking and leaning against the railing casually.

"'Stupid maids' huh?" Vanessa repeated. She pushed them lightly, which was enough to have them topple through the doorway into the hole.

"Oops." Vanessa said innocently.

Laura and Alice each let out a long yell, expecting to be falling for a long, long time, but in reality the fall was barely even a second. They landed in a cramped space like a tunnel. They army crawled through the pitch-dark space, which appeared to be used for trunk space, until they noticed a tall ladder with a light coming from the top of it.

After climbing to the top, they saw a small room that was dimly lighted. Rachel and Thomas sat in a corner along with Kendrick. Chris and Chef were both in chairs, checking out some cameras on the contestants and other random controls. Krm was missing; apparently she had run off to catch some more contestants. Warren however, was lying on the floor, fast asleep. Apparently, Krm and Vanessa had grabbed him while he was asleep to stir panic among the campers.

"Laura! Alice!" Chris greeted, spinning around in his chair. "Glad you could make it. Sadly, you are no longer in the challenge. If you wouldn't mind, go over and stand by Kendrick over there, and scream into the mic he's holding. The sound will echo through the whole train, so that should help with the freaking-out deal." Alice was bewildered.

"Where are we?" She asked. Chris grinned.

"It's…kinda like a secret lair. An attic on top of one of the carts, basically. Not the biggest room, but if it was, it would've been noticed. And that's no fun." Laura rolled her eyes.

"So, I'd be correct in guessing," she started sarcastically. "That the campers are gonna be 'captured' by you guys or scared all the way up to here, till someone wins? That's a stupid challenge." Kendrick snorted.

"You just think it's stupid because you _lost_," he muttered.

"Score, dude! Score!" Chris whooped, going over to high-five Kendrick.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

As soon as the remaining sixteen campers heard Rachel and Thomas's screams, soon followed by Laura and Alice's screams (in reality they were just taking turns with the mic!) several wailed, some groaned and slumped in their seats, and Rosetta just stood up and grinned wickedly.

"Think you can make me scream?" She boasted to no one in particular. "Try me! I dare you!"

"She's just asking for it," John complained. When Rosetta didn't get an answer, she snarled, and stomped her foot.

"If this is supposed to be freaking us out, is this the best you've got? A missing camper? A few screams? Heck, we can get that at breakfast!" Still, no answer.

"I agree with Rosetta," Effie slurred, apparently having taken much, much more of the punch. "I am not scared of these…of these…people who…do stuff…the scary stuff." She hiccupped, and passed out on the floor, snoring peacefully.

"Whoo! Anarchy!" Doerenda shouted, before passing out as well.

"Good job," Joel remarked sarcastically. "You got the drunks to side with you." The useless squabble continued on like that for a while until…

"Hey guys?" Leti whimpered. "What's that on the wall?" There, on one of the walls written in big red letters…_Come and Join Us_

**Confession Cam: Is there a missing body we should know about?**

"What?" Krm laughed. "It's glow in the dark pen. It only shows up when it's really dark. The lights went out, and the pen is now showing. It's not my fault if they think it's…" she gave an evil grin towards the camera. "blood."

----------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Okay, this is going nowhere!" Charity shouted, trying to ignore the frightening message on the wall. "We've got to…try to exit the train?" She tried to sound confident, but her last sentence ended on a squeak, due to the fact that a table was flying in the air towards her head! She screamed, and threw herself to the floor. The table smashed into the wall and went into pieces.

**Confession Cam: Nothing personal, just business**

"Simple magnetism," Chris told the audience. "I love my job."

------------------------------------------------------------------------

The next few seconds were in silence, before nearly half the campers ran, scrambling and screaming. The only ones left in the circle were Jade, Rosetta, Ashlynn, Riley, Raphael, Joel, Kevin, and the still-asleep Effie and Doerenda. To freak out the rest of the campers, a rock was thrown through the window in the cart, and screeching wind blew through the train.

The seven of them (Effie and Doerenda weren't exactly able to help) were able to patch up the window with…duct tape.

"Duct tape: From solving mechanical problems to repairing haunted trains," Riley chuckled as he began putting the last piece on.

"Charming," Joel said impatiently, "but what are we supposed to do now?"

"What if we start sort of a…rescue team?" Raphael, to the surprise of the others, was the one to speak up. "Without separating, of course. That will get us caught." All the others grinned.

"That's actually a really, really good plan," Kevin admitted, giving Raphael a congratulatory punch on the arm. This actually hurt Raphael, because Kevin was just as strong as Doerenda. Raphael rubbed his arm and gave Kevin a weak smile. His gaze then slipped over to Ashlynn, who smiled at him approvingly.

"Alright then," Rosetta announced. "Looks like we're rescuing seven unlucky campers!" Just then though, Leti's scream went over the intercom!

"Make that six…" Jade muttered.

Leti, in reality, had been lured to the 'secret lair' by Kendrick. Kendrick had used a shiny rock to get her attention.

"Well uh," Ashlynn shouted, trying to rally the others. "Let's go save those campers!" They all began running through the carts, yelling various missing campers' names. Unfortunately, they forget the asleep drunks, Effie and Doerenda, who were pulled off by Krm, and carried into the secret lair, sleeping like babies.

Meanwhile…

Charity was hunched underneath a desk, shaking and holding her head with fright. She wasn't completely sure where she was, she had been just running as fast as she could. Her head was throbbing.

Allister, not too far away, was wandering aimlessly. He had run after Charity originally, and then lost her in the crowd of scrambling campers.

"How hard can it be to find her…?" He mumbled, shaking his head with a sigh. "It's a train for Christ's sake…" It was then he noticed the Goth hunched over, frightened, shaking, and not noticing the loner in front of her. Allister paused for a moment, took three steps backward, and picked up a blanket on a different shelf. Then, he wrapped it around the Charity's shaking body, and crouched down beside her silently.

Neither of them said anything. They didn't need to. Charity smiled, and closed her eyes, her head leaning against Allister's shoulder. Vanessa just then walked in front of them; both of them didn't seem to notice her, if they did, they paid no attention to her.

"I hate to ruin a cute moment like this…" Vanessa sighed, holding a button. She pushed it, and the floor underneath Charity and Allister began to disappear. Charity attempted to stand up and run away, but she hit her head on the desk, and fell in Allister's lap as they both fell into the tunnel, which led to the 'secret lair' and well…you get the point.

Going back to the 'rescue brigade'…

Allister and Charity's screams sent a shock through their system.

"Well crap!" Jade shouted. "There goes another two!"

"This is a waste of time," Joel criticized. "Why are we looking for all these guys? Some of them aren't even on our team!"

"Because," Raphael replied, "the more campers we have, the longer all of us can last."

"Wait a minute…" Kevin said slowly. "Did we forget Effie and Doerenda?" The other campers looked around and groaned.

"The only reason we haven't heard their screams is because they're out cold," Riley mumbled. Kevin became frantic.

"I've gotta find her! I mean them!" Without waiting for consent, Kevin ran back where the circle had been, only to find a smug-looking Krm there, holding a bazooka in her hands. Kevin went without a fight, and in less then a few minutes, the other heard his (staged) scream as well.

"This is going nowhere!" Rosetta grumbled. They had run back over to the circle, but Kevin was already gone. "Who's even left?"

"Well…" Raphael paused for a moment, thinking. "There are us who make six, John, Kenny, and Hunter. Nine all together." Ashlynn frowned thoughtfully.

"Now, where could the other three be…?" She murmured.

"GYAAAH!" Hunter screamed, running past them with a totally scared face. "OUT OF THE WAY!"

"There's part of your answer," Riley remarked.

"OY! Get back here so we can regroup!" Jade shouted, running after him and not realizing the fact that she was separating herself from the group. As soon as those two were out of sight from the others, both of them were caught in a very classic manner; trapped in a net. They were carried off by an apologetic Kendrick.

"Well," Joel chuckled. "We won't be seeing those two suckers again."

After a while, the five of the group actually _found_ one of the campers. Kenny was in a closet, teeth chattering.

"They got John!" Kenny blurted out quickly before anyone could ask him anything. They all sighed.

"So we're the last," Ashlynn said softly.

"Indeed you are!" The eerie voice came back on, albeit with a slightly irritated tone. "But are you prepared?"

"Prepared for what?" Joel asked. Then, to their surprise, the response was no longer the creepy voice, it was now just Chris.

"Why, ready for the toughest, roughest, man hunter there is! On land, in water, on a train, you love to hate him, he's big, he's mean…he's Chef!" Chris shouted.

**Confession Cam: It was starting to get old, either way**

"Okay, so we kinda ditched the haunted train theme…" Chris admitted. "But Chef is scary enough, so it's a win-win situation!"

----------------------------------------------------------------------

"Here's the deal campers…" Chris chuckled. "In five seconds Chef is gonna burst through that door, with a paint gun that's gonna make it feel like a rock's been chucked at you if you get hit by it. Last one to get hit wins it for the team."

"What happened to the haunted train theme?!" Riley shouted.

"We're running out of air time," Chris replied. He laughed quickly, before Chef finally burst through the door, wielding a _humongous_ paint ball gun!

"Don't scra--" Raphael was about to warn 'Don't scramble!' but was cut off as each camper began to run away, out of range from Chef's shot. Just when it looked like Raphael was gonna get nailed, a red ball hit him in the side of his head, making him fall over and not get hit.

"What the--" Raphael yelped, rubbing the bump on his head.

"Sorry!" Ashlynn shouted.

**Confession Cam: Questions unanswered**

Raphael blinked, his eye twitching a little bit.

"I know I'm not up to par on what is socially 'in', but since when do girls carry around dodge balls with them?!"

--------------------------------------------------------------

Unfortunately, while Ashlynn had been throwing the ball, Chef's aim went to her, and Ashlynn's throwing arm was hit. Raphael scrambled to get up, but was hit in the back.

**Confession Cam: At least she didn't mean to!**

"Whoops," Ashlynn breathed, as she twiddled her thumbs. "I really screwed up. Raphael got hit by both me _and_ Chef, not to mention I just tried to help out someone from the other team! My team's gonna murder me if they find out!"

-------------------------------------------------------------

Meanwhile, Riley and Kenny were trying to open the only other working exit door, which seemed to be locked, but that was no surprise there. The boys saw Vanessa from the window on the other side, and they banged on the door and shouted for her to let them out. Vanessa cupped a hand around her ear and mouthed 'I can't hear you!' The boys shouted louder, and Vanessa shrugged and walked away, pretending she couldn't hear them. All the shouting got Chef's attention, and both boys were nailed in the back.

So, all that was left was the unlucky duo, Joel and Rosetta! Not together at the moment. Rosetta was leaning against a corner of a cart, breathing heavily, and wondering where everybody was…Joel, however…well…

_"Love lifts us up where we belooooooooong! Where eagles fly, on a mountain highhhhh!" _Rosetta had to pinch herself, because she could've sworn she just heard Joel singing…from on top of the roof. She climbed out a window, balancing precariously on the windowsill, and climbed up to the roof of the train.

_"When a maaaaan looooooooooooooves a wooooman!" _Joel's really bad and loud singing of some classic love songs continued until Rosetta stomped over to him and shook him by the shoulders.

"What are you doing?!" She snapped. "Do you _want _to have Chef find you?!" Joel grinned.

"'Fraid he already did." Rosetta turned around to where Joel was pointing. Unfortunately, he wasn't joking. Chef was there loading his paint ball gun.

"You can give up if you want," he offered. "But I'd sure have much more fun if you didn't! What'll it be, ya punks?!" Joel was more then happy to give up this ridiculous chase, but Rosetta spoke up faster then he did.

"Nah," She replied casually. Chef shrugged.

"Your choice," he growled, before pressing the trigger.

"Think fast, Chef!" Rosetta taunted, grabbing Joel by the collar, and hurling him towards the massive fellow. Joel took the shot, and bowled over Chef in the process. Quickly, Joel got off of Chef.

"Hmmph," Chef grunted, glaring at Rosetta. "You win. Bass win. Again." Everybody on the roof jumped when Chris's head popped out of the train's roof from a latch. Looking down, they saw the place where most of the campers had been hidden.

"Congratulations!" Chris said cheerfully. "You won the challenge, Rosetta! It's about time, because you seriously screwed up the other two." Rosetta glared at him. Even when Chris seems like he's complementing you, there's always an insult layered in there somewhere.

"Let's get this baby on the road, and head back to the island!" Chris shouted, before ducking back down.

"So it was all a big circle route?" Rosetta exclaimed irritably.

"Pretty much!" Chris's voice came from inside the train.

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Ten Gophers sat at the campfire, each of them feeling miserable after being either being captured or being hit with a paint ball. Along with Chris were Kendrick, Krm, and Vanessa. Warren had woken up finally, but he had been given no explanation, so he was rather confused.

"Gophers, another loss?" Chris sighed. "How shameful."

**Confession Cam: A road trip like no other**

"That place seriously sucked," Hunter growled, but his expression softened quickly. "I had real trouble voting someone off. Warren had bad luck, they just happened to capture him while he was asleep! Totally not fair. But, when it came down to it…" He looked down, ashamed.

-----------------------------------------------------------------

"Raphael. Allister. Charity. John. Kenny. Effie. Hunter. Leti." The eight of them grabbed their marshmallows with a relieved expression and sat down. The left campers were Warren and Joel.

"Campers…" Chris mused. "One of you ran into a lot of bad timing here, and the other was quite frankly, annoying. But who survives? Gophers, the one going home tonight is…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

.…

Just then, Warren fell asleep. Again.

"You've got to be kidding me!" Chris complained.

"Here," Vanessa sighed, throwing the marshmallow to Joel. "you survived. Congrats, I guess. Although from what I here you're a total jerk."

"Gee thanks," Joel said sarcastically as he stood up and went to the other campers.

"What just happened?!" Charity shouted.

**Confession Cam: Sadly, this happens more than you think.**

Kenny, like Hunter, seemed ashamed of himself.

"Joel called almost all of us over to talk to him before the campfire ceremony. He told us to vote for Warren and not him, because he survived much longer then all of us, which proved that he deserved to stay longer, that he was a stronger contestant…" he grimaced. "We had to leave out Charity in that meeting, because I guess they became buddies last challenge…" He waved half-heartedly.

"Sorry bro. Joel had a point."

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An asleep Warren was thrown onto the Boat of Losers, and then driven to the Playa de Losers. Chef threw him on the dock, and then he _finally_ woke up. He looked around, bewildered, until he saw Leo in the Jacuzzi.

"Hey!" Leo greeted, waving cheerfully. "They voted you off, huh?"

"I guess…" Warren said slowly. "I honestly do not remember a thing that just happened. Honestly. Whole day's a blur." Leo paused, frowning.

"That really makes no sense, what, did you faint or something?" He asked. Warren scratched his head.

"I think I was asleep," he mumbled. Leo whistled.

"Sucks to be you man," he chuckled.

"Right," Warren mumbled sleepily, before he passed out again, falling in the Jacuzzi.

"Dude, you're alive right?" Leo mumbled, poking the unconscious Warren. "Great. This dude's gonna be sleeping all the time and Satine is…" Leo glanced at the camera.

"Oh right," he laughed, addressing the audience. "You guys don't know yet. Well, sorry, I can't tell ya. You'll have to stay tuned."

---------------------------------------------------

As soon as Ashlynn saw the remaining nine Bass heading for bed, she ran over, intent on seeing if Raphael made it through the cut. She ran as fast as she could, but by the time she got here, everyone had left. Sighing, she sat down. Her eye caught something black near the campfire. Picking it up, she frowned. It was a wallet. It looked familiar though, she was pretty sure it was the one that Joel carried around with him. Just to make sure, she opened the wallet and checked the ID.

Her eyes widened as soon as she read it.

"No way…" she whispered.

**(A.N.) Oh dear GOD it's finally DONE!** **Those who got little screen time last chapter got tons this chapter, there were a few more couple moments, and Rosetta scored a very…odd win. I really hope you guys like it. I'm sorry if it was confusing.**

**And I bet you're wondering what was up with the paintball thing right? Well, I just needed something to speed things up, Chef seemed like someone who'd be more than happy to oblige, and then the paint ball thing I just kinda decided randomly, although I think Sonowa mentioned something to me about this relating to the Paint Ball Deer Hunt. I dunno. I'm sleepy. Don't bother trying to get actual reliable info out of me.**

**And I'm taking a break out of trick questions just for this chapter. Like I said, I'm tired darn it. **

**However…I still have one thing to say.**

**VOTE!**

**Oh yeah, just in case you're interested...the next chapter will involve animals, and Doerenda and Effie will be havin' a blast.  
**


	8. We're Going on a Bear Hunt

The camera was thankfully, back on the old, somewhat-reliable Camp Wawanakwa. Chris was standing on the Dock of Shame as usual.

"Last time on Total Drama Island…" he began, fiddling with his hair. "The campers had a bit of a field trip which started out as a trip of paradise…and ended up with a wild chase that involved bazookas, paint balls, and lots of trap doors. There was screaming, insults, and a little romance action! With the help of three assistants, we were able to capture the majority of the contestants. When it was down to the last six, Chef came in to…speed things up. All in all, it was Rosetta who won it for the Bass by using Joel as a human shield! Nice one. However, Joel avoided elimination by convincing most of his teammates to vote off poor Warren." Chris paused, and took in a deep breath, having said a mouthful.

"Now, will couples take off or will they never get off the ground? Will the Bass score another win? And can I possibly get more handsome? Find out, on the _most_ dramatic campfire ceremony yet on Total! Drama! _Island!_"

**-----------------------------------------------------------------**

Camp was normal, quiet even. People definitely needed their time to relax after last challenge. However, if you looked from the camp, you could've seen two specks traveling up the thousand-foot cliff. One was the awkward shy fellow Raphael. The other was Ashlynn, the much more outgoing girl who was convinced the former needed a bit more fun in his life.

Unfortunately for Raphael, more fun apparently included jumping off cliffs. At the end of the jump, Doerenda and Kevin had hijacked the Boat of Losers, and were waiting for them to go.

Ashlynn and Raphael stood at the top of the cliff, and Ashlynn was doing some stretches. Raphael however, was considering the alternative of running away for his life.

"C'mon! This'll be fun!" Ashlynn pleaded. Raphael shook his head frantically.

"When you said fun, I didn't think this was something that qualified in the list!" He complained. Ashlynn looked at him, and sighed.

"All right, I'm not gonna make at you," She mumbled. But when Raphael was just turning away to head back down, she grabbed him by the ear and threw him in anyway. Then, she jumped in after him.

"Sorry!" She yelled, grinning sheepishly. They both made it to the Boat of Losers, where Doerenda and Kevin were waiting with towels. Raphael shivered and glared at Ashlynn, who just laughed.

"Oh my gosh!" Doe squealed. "That was funny! Raphael was all like 'Noooo I'm not gonna do it!' and then you were all like 'You're gonna do it, you're gonna do it!' and then it's like he did it!" She giggled, and Kevin put his arm around her, throwing a sympathetic glance towards Raphael that just seemed to say the same thing. _"Women."_

**Confession Cam: The birds and the bees**

"Doe and I just started to go out a while ago," Kevin explained to the audience. "We can't exactly go on _dates_ like a movie theatre and dancing…but we take walks around the camp, sit on the dock, talk and do things like that…" He paused. "I like that crazy, outgoing personality of Doe's. I'm so laid back all the time; I guess Doe brings some fun in my life." Kevin grinned. "So, Doe and I have made it our personal mission to get Raphael and Ashlynn together. That dude needs a little happy in his life."

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As the four of them headed back, more people were trying to enjoy what time left they had to relax before the next challenge. The beach was a popular place for people to hang out, although no one dared to go in the water. ("Were those tentacles I just saw?" was a common rebuttal when considering the possibility of swimming.) However, the beach itself was a great place to relax and talk to other campers.

Leti and Alice, oddly enough, were one of the new found friendships at camp. Both were extremely girly, so that was probably something that had to do with the arrangement. Despite being in an alliance with Rosetta, Alice and Rosetta didn't exactly share the same tastes in things. Now, the two girls were lying on the beach. Leti was wearing a bikini and extremely shy about it.

"I think I'm doing this to impress Hunter," Leti whispered to Alice with a goofy grin. "Is that so wrong?" Alice nudged Leti and giggled.

"No way," she laughed. "He's checking you out! Oh my gosh, he's totally checking you out!" Leti followed Alice's eyes to where Hunter was sitting on the dock. Hunter kept sneaking sideway glances towards Leti, who had turned bright red.

"Go talk to him!" Alice told Leti, who shook her head in response.

"Nu-uh!" She cried. "I'm gonna make myself look silly, I know it…" Alice shoved Leti a bit too hard, with another rallying shout of "Go get 'em tiger!" Unfortunately, Alice had pushed Leti with much more force then necessary, causing Leti to trip and do a face-plant into the beach. Hunter, seeing this, ran over with a startled yelp.

"Is she okay?" Hunter asked Alice. Alice shrugged casually, and walked away saying "My work here is done!" Hunter gave Alice a confused glance, and then turned his attention backed to Leti, whom he quickly helped up. Leti swooned, and collapsed into Hunter's armed.

"Let's get you to bed…" Hunter sighed, picking Leti up and threw her over his shoulder. From there, Leti opened her eyes and gave Alice a wink. Alice gave Leti thumbs up, and quietly laughed to herself.

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Not to far away, Effie was strolling along quietly, humming something that sounded like the _Pink Panther_ theme, and practically stalking Chris. Every time Chris would turn around, she'd duck into some bushes or hide behind a tree.

**Confession Cam: She's a regular Charlie's angel!**

"I'm not gonna let Chris surprise me again this challenge!" Effie proclaimed. "That is why I'm following him, until I find out what the challenge is gonna be." She laughed evilly. "No one can defeat the awesome super-spy-ninja powers of _Effie_!"

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"Campers! Meet by the stage for your next challenge!" Chris shouted over the intercom. The campers, sighing and grumbling, did as they were told, surprised that the challenge was already going to start. Once there, they sat down on the bleachers. Chris was there obviously, but nothing else was one the stage, much to the confusion of the campers.

"So…" Kenny mumbled. "What're we doin'?"

"I'm glad you asked Kenny!" Chris responded cheerfully. "This challenge is a reversed version of a challenge from last year!"

"Wait…" Leti was confused, although that was not too much of a surprise. "What?"

"Last year, in one of the episodes, the seven finalists had to capture an animal…unharmed, of course. But this year, you guys must _rescue_ an animal! You'll be getting a map to the animal's location and everything."

"Brilliant," Joel applauded with a roll of his eyes.

"I KNEW IT!" Effie shouted, startling everybody. "Ha! You couldn't surprise me this time, evil host!" Everyone began staring at here, the incredibly awkward minutes ticked by slowly…

"Right…" Kevin said slowly. "Uh, please continue Chris…"

"As I was saying," Chris continued, still giving Effie an odd look. "You guys will be divided into pairs and--"

"Once again, it's not an even number of players, so I presume some odd solution to that, right Chris?" John muttered.

"Bingo!" Chris sang. "There are ten Bass campers and Nine Gopher campers, correct?" The contestants nodded. "So…look around! Haven't you noticed something?"

"Hey," Jade shouted. "Rosetta is missing!"

"So is Riley!" Thomas realized.

"And Charity is gone from our team!" Raphael exclaimed.

"Well done!" Chris complemented with an evil grin. "For one pair from each team…you'll have to rescue your own teammates!"

"How'd you guys capture them?" Laura asked Chris skeptically.

"It wasn't pretty," Chris admitted. "It involved a taser, a net, and Chef."

The sixteen campers shuddered.

"For the rest of you however," Chris continued. "You'll have to rescue some animal that happens to be captured. It could be a frog…a bird…a bear…"

"Moving on!" Hunter interrupted. "What are the pairs?"

"Alright, alright…" Chris sighed, and then began reading from a clipboard.

"On the Bass team, the four pairs are…Laura and Alice…" Laura glared at Alice, who stuck her tongue out childishly and took their map away from Chris's hands. "Allister and Thomas, again…" Thomas gave Allister a sheepish grin and took their map. "Doerenda and Jade…" Doerenda did a flip up to the stage, and took her and Jade's map. "And last but not least, Kevin and Ashlynn!" Those two glanced at each other, shrugged, and went up to take their map.

"Of course I get stuck with you," Laura grumbled, squatting on the ground with a scowl towards Alice. "Lovely. I'm just sure this'll be just an _amazing_ trip."

"We'll get along, right Kevin?" Ashlynn laughed. They both high-fived each other. Kevin was then tackled by Doerenda, who was sobbing.

"I miss you already Kevin!" She cried.

"On the Gopher team, the four pairs are…Raphael and Joel," Raphael sighed as he glanced towards Joel, whose glare shot daggers at Raphael as he took their map. "Hunter and Effie," Hunter gave a weak smile and grabbed their map. Effie began giving Hunter a piggyback, oddly enough. "Rachel and John," the two campers glanced at each other, smiled awkwardly and grabbed their map. "And Kenny and Leti." Kenny blushed a little as Leti gave Kenny a big hug and then grabbed their map. Hunter glared at Kenny, suspicion in his gaze.

"Here's your assignments!" Chris continued. "Laura and Alice you will be rescuing…a deer. Allister and Thomas, you guys are saving a duck. Doerenda and Jade, you guys are gonna be Riley and Rosetta's rescuers. Kevin and Ashlynn, you guys are saving a frog."

"Wait," Ashlynn mumbled, as she stood up to grab her map. "So, are these animals tied down? They're not hurt are they?" Chris shook his head.

"Nope, we didn't hurt them! They're all either tied to trees on a leash, or in a cage, or something close to that effect. Your missing teammates in particular are in a cage dangling from a tree at the moment."

"Isn't that scary for them, mon?" Thomas asked.

"Do we look like we care?" Chris responded. He turned towards the Gopher pairs. "As for you guys…Raphael and Joel, you guys will be rescuing a bear."

"Of course," they sighed in unison as they picked up their map.

"Hunter and Effie, you guys are rescuing a bluebird."

"Aw man!" Effie complained. "Can we switch with those guys for the bear?" Hunter's eyes widened and he laughed nervously as he clamped a hand over Effie's mouth.

"No, no," he said quickly. "We're fine with the blue bird." Chris snickered and read off the next pair's assignment.

"Rachel and John, you guys are saving a dog." Rachel's eyes widened with surprised as she heard their animal.

"There are wild dogs here?" She asked Chris, reaching over to grab her map.

"No," Chris admitted. "It's Chef's dog actually. His name is Fido."

"Aw, cute!" Rachel giggled.

**Confession Cam: Careful, he bites**

Chris whistled innocently.

"Did I forget to mention that Fido is a half-crazed Doberman?"

----------------------------------------------------------------------------

"And that leaves…" Chris gave an unnecessary dramatic pause. "Leti and Kenny for rescuing Charity!"

"Whoo! Alright!" Leti shouted enthusiastically. "I hope Charity is alright in that cage for now…"

_**Elsewhere**_**:**

Riley groaned groggily as he opened his eyes. Last thing he remembered was something very, very painful. Slowly coming into complete consciousness, he suddenly realized he was dangling in a cage from a tree, with Rosetta out cold sleeping _on his lap_ and Charity in a cage only a few feet away from where they were. He shifted slightly, and Rosetta opened her eyes as well. Immediately, she sat upright, and then tensed, seeing where she was. Rosetta seemed frightened.

"Okay, did I miss something?" She asked, clenching her fists nervously.

"Hi Rosetta," Charity greeted, not looking up from a game of solitaire that she had started on the floor of her cage. "I can fill you in. Chef hit us with tasers, threw us in a net, and then put is in these cages, which are dangling fifteen feet in the air. Has to do with the challenge. Weird, huh?"

"You could call it that," Rosetta muttered. "Do we have to stay in here? I uh…I'm a little…" she bit her lip and grimaced.

"Afraid?" Riley filled in. "Claustrophobic? Scared of heights?" Rosetta glared at him, but he was right.

"Claustrophobic," she admitted grudgingly. "I'm just…wanting to get out of here. Right now."

"You could sleep," Riley offered. "Close your eyes and pretend you're somewhere else."

"To sleep in this small of a cage, I would be on your lap," she growled. Riley smirked tauntingly.

"I won't bite," he told her, grinning. "It's either that, or stare out of this cold, hard, small cage…" his voice trailed off.

"He sure drives a hard bargain," Charity chuckled.

Rosetta around defiantly, but her legs started shaking a little from fear. She groaned, and lied down, closing her eyes.

Three feet away, Charity decided to keep her laugher to herself.

_**Back at Camp:**_

__"Here are the rules, one more time," Chris announced. "Each pair is rescuing their animal that was picked for them. There are cameras all over the forest, so we know if you were able to save it or not. You get no tools. You must use you and I guess whatever happens to be around or on you at the moment. You get half an hour. If you are not back by that time, or if you haven't rescued your animal by then, you do not get a point! However, if you did save your animal, your team gets a point! Obviously, the team with the most points wins! However, if your animal is harmed at all, not only do you not get a point, your team has a point deducted! Now…ready! Set! Go, go, and GO!"

Some of the campers went for a running start, while some of the more laidback campers just walked with their partner, looking over their map.

One of the pairs far ahead already was Effie and Hunter, who was still riding on Effie's shoulders and holding the map.

"Okay…" Hunter mumbled, running his eyes over the not-so-clear map. "It looks like if we turn a left in the forest right here, and keep going straight for about another half a mile or so, we should be able to get there to the bird."

"A-OK!" Effie chirped. "I totally have this spiritual connection with animals, y'know? I can like, empathize with them and they totally understand me."

"Right…" Hunter sighed, wishing he wasn't paired up with the crazy young girl. They ran over rivers and through other obstacles, Effie was very athletic, and very fast.

"Years of running from the RCMP," she explained to Hunter cheerfully. "I bet you would be dying of exhaustion right now. I'm like, totally carrying you and running and I could do this for hours. Not tired at all. Hey, you know what's funny? I think you weigh more than me, and I don't have any problem carrying you still. Haha. It's like ants! Ants can carry ten times their weight; I bet you didn't know that!"

**Confession Cam: Could we get a moment of peace, please?**

Hunter rolled his eyes.

"Well, at least I didn't have to worry about awkward silences…"

-----------------------------------------------------

The odd blabber continued on like that for a long time, until the duo finally spotted what they were looking for. Their bluebird was in a birdcage, which was hanging from a tree branch _really _high in the air. A grappling hook kept the cage steady in place.

"How are we supposed to get that thing down?!" Hunter exclaimed, tilting his head upwards towards the bird. He grew even more frightened when he saw Effie pick up a rock.

"Don't you remember what Chris said? We can't injure the ani--"

"I'm not injuring the bird!" Effie snapped, swinging her arm back. "Just watch." Effie then threw the rock like a star pitcher, and hit the top of the cage. The top blew off, and fell down from the tree. The bird stayed in the cage despite the open top.

"Fly you bird!" Effie cried. "Be free! BE FREE!" The bird tweeted irritably, and flew up and away.

"Wow," Hunter mumbled. Effie turned to him and winked.

"Wow is correct my friend! Now, let us get back for a hearty lunch! I heard it was mystery meat today…" Effie dragged Hunter away from the bird cage and back towards camp, whether he wanted to go or not.

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"You know, those roller skates were really comfy…" Alice hummed, a skip in her step. She and Laura were walking in the forest, somewhat lost at the moment.

"Shut up," was all Laura said back.

"Can I buy them?" Alice asked hopefully.

"I said shut up!"

"Twenty-bucks?" Alice offered. No answer.

"Thirty? Forty? Ten?" Alice continued. Laura groaned in frustration, and quickened her pace. Alice copied her.

"What do you want?!" Laura shouted.

"I want your roller skates! Do you really use them?"

"I'll probably have to disinfect them," Laura muttered. "Your horrid germs are all over them."

"So," Alice said casually. "Is that a 'no'?"

"I'm not giving you my roller skates!" Laura screeched angrily, causing a flock of birds to scatter.

"Why did you bring roller skates anyways?" Alice asked curiously.

"Because I like to roller skate Einstein! Good Lord, is the rest of your family this annoying?!"

"Well my brother is kind of weird," Alice mused, apparently not realizing Laura didn't mean for that question to be answered.

"What kind of weird would that be?" Laura scoffed.

"Well…one time we were at my friend's basketball game, and during halftime, he and a friend went to the center of the basketball court. We thought they were gonna start a game, but all they did was through the ball at the net, then tackle each other and start a wrestling match, still on the basketball court."

Laura smirked.

"So you _do_ come from a family of crazies," she jeered.

"I suppose!" Alice replied cheerfully. She looked around curiously to where they had walked. "So uh…how did we end up back where we started?" Laura snapped into reality, and realized they indeed had walked back to the camp's stage.

And then, Laura swore so loudly that everyone in a ten mile radius had to cover their ears.

-----------------------------------------------------

Rachel and John were currently crossing a stream when Laura's streak of curse words echoed loudly to them.

"Holy crap!" Rachel shouted, losing her balance and pushing John into the water by accident. He came up soaking wet, and spat out a fish.

"Ew…" he moaned.

"Sorry!" Rachel squeaked, helping him up. A loud bark sounded in the distance, and Rachel gasped with excitement, ending up accidentally knocking John into the river…again.

"Are you doing that on purpose or what?!" John shouted irritably.

"Yes, I mean no, I mean…uh…let's go grab that dog!" Rachel yelped, running off towards the barks.

The duo arrived to Fido the Doberman, who apparently had just woken up from a nap, and he wasn't too happy about it. The dog snarled and roared and showed its teeth, making Rachel and John flinch. Fido was tied around a large tree by his leash. From the other side of a tree, a humongous and seemingly-impossible-to-untie knot stuck out.

"Well, it could be worse right?" John asked nervously.

**Confession Cam: A reality show's taboo**

"Never, _ever_ say that on this show, dude." Chris cackled.

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"Okay," Rachel murmured, keeping a safe distance from the dog. "Here's what we're gonna do. I'll go around and untie the knot; you distract the dog with the meat."

"The meat?" John repeated. "What meat? We didn't bring any meat. Unless you mean…" His eye twitched. "Oh no, oh _hell _no…"

Rachel smiled awkwardly.

"How fast can you run, John?"

John sighed, and motioned for Rachel to move to the knot. Slowly, Rachel crept around the bushes and dashed behind the tree. Fido, seeing this, began snarling and leapt towards Rachel.

"Now, John!" Rachel cried.

"Here doggie!" John called out frantically. "Here…don't eat me…come on little doggy!" The dog switched its attention from Rachel to John, and immediately turned around, trying to bite John while he danced out of its reach and Rachel worked furiously on the knot.

A few minutes progressed, but Rachel was still not done with the knot.

"Rachel please hurry! I don't think this thing has had its shots!" John squealed.

"Almost done!" Rachel replied, and then with a grunt, finally untied the dog completely from the tree.

Three, two, one…

"AAAAAAH!" John screamed girlishly, running away with Fido on his tail all the way back to camp. Rachel slumped to her knees.

"All's well that ends well…" she mumbled.

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"Mud…" Ashlynn sniffled. "Mud…dirt…frogs…" Her clothes were completely covered in filth, and Kevin was beside her, also bemoaning his bad luck. The group was crawling all over the swamp muck, because apparently that's where their frog was hidden. Kevin, still playing matchmaker, was trying to think of a subtle way to bring up the possibility of her getting together with Raphael.

"So," Kevin mumbled. "What do you think of Raphael?"

**Confession Cam: Subtle as a flying mallet**

"Okay," Kevin sighed. "So maybe that wasn't the smoothest way to bring it up. I just wasn't quite getting any bright ideas."

--------------------------------------------------------

"Raphael?" Ashlynn repeated. "I dunno. He's a friend, I suppose. Why do you ask?"

"Well…" Kevin said quickly. "I uh, he's a pretty cool guy right?"

"Right…" Ashlynn said slowly. "Is this going somewhere?"

"Maybe! Do you want it to go somewhere?!" Kevin blurted out. Ashlynn stared at him.

"Kevin, what the hell are you talking about?"

"Nothing! Something!" Kevin shouted.

"You're being an idiot Kevin," Ashlynn said bluntly.

"I _knoooow_…" Kevin sobbed. He paused, let out a yelp, and them stumbled.

"What's the matter?" Ashlynn asked. Kevin grimaced, and picked up a tiny net that was on the ground, not even attached to anything. Thankfully, inside it was the frog. Kevin smiled and opened the door. The frog jumped out instantly.

"Alright," Ashlynn sighed, obviously relieved. "Let's head back to camp. Maybe seeing Doe will make you speak sense again." Kevin blinked.

"Doe! That's right, Doe!" He grinned. "I get to go see Doe!" He ran off, extremely happy.

"Yep," Ashlynn remarked. "He's a love-struck idiot all right."

------------------------------------------------------

_"I'm in a happy place; I'm in a happy place…"_ Raphael had to keep chanting that to himself, due to the fact that he was with Joel. With Joel, every other third word he said was an insult to whoever he was with. So far, he had heard things like 'geek', 'nerd'…

"Hey," Joel snapped, shaking Raphael back into reality. "Did you see something rustle over there?" Raphael adjusted his glasses and frowned, looking over to where Joel was pointing.

"Yeah, I see it, but according to the map the bear won't be for another--"

"Forget the map! It's probably wrong anyway!" Joel ran off to the rustling bush, leaving Raphael by himself, who was currently wishing the bear would find him and eat him already.

A few seconds later, Joel came back with his hands behind his back. Raphael opened his mouth to ask him what was over there, but was cut off when Joel hit him with a dodge ball.

"Okay, what the heck was that for, and where did you even get that?!" Raphael shouted. Joel shrugged.

"Some blonde chick gave it to me. She paid me twenty bucks."

"A blonde?" Raphael repeated, inwardly thinking of the list of blondes at camp. "Was it Laura?" Joel shook his head.

"No, it was someone else. Someone really weird. She gave me a twenty, told me to hit you with that, and then walked off muttering something about 'breaking the fourth wall', and 'stupid attempts at humor'."

Raphael raised an eyebrow.

"Right. Did she have a name?"

"She called herself _Janey1097_."

Raphael regarded Joel with disbelief, assuming that Joel must've hit his head…very, very hard.

"Well, on that weird note…" Raphael muttered. "I think I see the bear." He pointed towards the distance, where a large brown bear could be seen. The two of them ran to it, staying pretty far away. The bear, just like the dog, was somehow tied to the trunk of a tree.

"I don't think I want to know how they did that," Raphael sighed. The bear, seeing them, let out a deafening roar that went on for a full minute. Joel scowled.

"No way am I getting close to that thing. Screw this, I'm out of here!" Joel ran off, leaving Raphael by himself once again. He stared at the bear.

"Come here often?" He asked sarcastically. He then sighed, and began to walk away since he was pretty sure that he wouldn't be able to handle a bear on his own.

-------------------------------------------------------

"Look, mon, I'm really sorry about bugging you for advice…" Thomas was rambling, trying to reconcile with Allister, who unsurprisingly was not in the mood to talk. After five minutes of nonstop apologizing, Allister caved.

"Look, we're cool, okay? I just don't like to talk much." Allister mumbled. "It doesn't mean I hate you or anything, so you might want to chill a bit." Thomas grinned.

"Awesome mon! If you want, later we could hang out, crack open a few pops, and stuff!" he offered.

"That sounds great…mon…" Allister said awkwardly. His attempt at Jamaican lingo fell flat. Thomas gave him a raised eyebrow.

"You don't do it right, mon," Thomas chuckled.

"I know…" Allister sighed.

"But hey! There's our duck!" Thomas said cheerfully. He pointed towards a squawking duck that was hanging from a cage on a tree. Thomas ran over to the cage and tried to jump and reach it, but he was a tad too short.

"I got it!" Allister shouted as he took a huge jump towards the cage and grabbed it by the bottom. The cage ripped off its branch, and Allister fell face first into the ground. The cage door swung open, and the duck waddled out. It quacked, and then proceeded to go over to Allister and nibble on his hair. Thomas stifled a laugh.

"Shut up," Allister growled in response. Thomas raised his palms defensively.

"I didn't say anything!"

---------------------------------------------------------------

"March! Forwards! Tally-ho!" Doerenda shouted, dragging an extremely bored Jade along through the forest. "We must save our fellow campers! Who knows what sort of horrors they are enduring at that cage?"

_**Meanwhile**_**:**

"Got any threes?" Charity asked Riley, waving her hand of cards around like a fan in the duo's game of Go Fish.

--------------------------------------------------------

"Are we there yet?" Jade yawned. Doerenda squealed.

"Now we are!" Doerenda pointed towards the two cages dangling from trees. "And look! We've got company!" She turned her head towards Kenny and Leti.

"Hi!" Leti said cheerfully. "Oh my gosh, it's so good to see you guys! Kenny like, doesn't talk at all…"

"I talk," Kenny mumbled. "I just am…uh…" Leti giggled and gave Kenny a bear hug.

"You're just super-duper shy, aren't ya?" She laughed. Kenny turned bright red.

"Right!" He squeaked.

"Hey guys!" Doerenda said cheerfully waving towards Riley, Charity, and the still-asleep Rosetta.

"Hey," The two of them responded, waving towards their teammates.

"Okay," Kenny mumbled, crossing his arms together. "So, how are we gonna get you guys down?" Doerenda jumped up and down excitedly.

"I've got an idea, I've got an idea!" Doe then began staring at a squirrel that was twittering near the tree.

"Hey mister squirrelly!" She giggled. The squirrel raised its head and turned towards her.

"Oh that's good to hear," Doerenda mused, smiling.

"Who's she talking to?" Charity asked Riley, who shrugged in response. The squirrel, frightened by the noise, ran off.

"Okay I'll see you later!" Doe shouted, and then turned towards Jade with a scowl. "He is _sooooo_ lazy! He didn't want to help out at all!"

"Uh…" Jade was at a loss for words. She turned towards Riley who was just as confused as she was. "Isn't Rosetta up there?"

"Yeah," Riley yawned. "She is. She's asleep though."

"Not anymore," Rosetta grumbled, sitting upright and rubbing her eyes drowsily. "What's going on?"

"The rescue brigade is here," Charity announced. Rosetta glanced at Jade and Doerenda.

"They don't look like they're rescuing anyone to me," Rosetta commented dryly.

"We're working on it!" Doerenda replied loudly.

"Ditto for us!" Leti yelled to Charity.

"Take your time," Charity mumbled, starting another solitaire game.

"Hey Spider Monkey, are you coming up here or what?" Riley asked impatiently. Doe clapped her hands together. Jade yawned and slumped down against a different tree, dozing off a little.

"Alright! Monkey-girl _awaaaay_!" Doe ran to a full sprint towards the tree, and climbed up it effortlessly till she was sitting on top of the branch that had the chain that was keeping the cage off the ground. She started to work on it furiously, her hands moving in a blur.

"I can do that too," Leti huffed enviously. She walked over to her tree, and began to try to climb it, but messed up and had a face plant for the second time that day.

Kenny sighed and walked over to the tree, apologetically stepped over Leti, and successfully climbed the tree all the way up to the branch. He worked on the knot as well.

"Done!" Doerenda shouted after some time. The cage, no longer held up, began to fall down the long height while Rosetta and Riley screamed their heads off. Once the cage landed abruptly on the ground, Doe walked over to open the cage's door. It didn't budge.

"Oy!" Riley shouted in an obviously annoyed tone. "Get it open, Spider Monkey!"

"It's stuck!" Doe snapped back. Jade sighed, stood up and walked over to actually give Doe a hand, but to no avail.

Meanwhile, Kenny had just finished his knot, and Charity's cage fell down from the branch. Leti opened the cage easily.

"Bzzzt! Thirty minutes are up! Campers head back so we can announce the winner!" Chris's voice came off the intercom just in time for the Gopher team.

"You did it!" Leti congratulated Kenny as he stepped off his branch. Leti hugged the wallflower who turned bright red in response.

**Confession Cam: Just itching for a fight**

"Oh crap, oh crap, oh crap…" Kenny said quickly as he wringed his hands around. "Hunter is gonna kill me if he sees that. But Leti is so nice…but she could never like me…she probably likes Hunter…gah! Crap! Get yourself together man!" He slapped himself in an attempt to calm down.

-------------------------------------------------------------------

Doe, Jade, Charity, Kenny, and Leti were just about to head back, when something obvious was brought to their attention.

"Hey!" Rosetta shouted. "What about us? You honestly aren't just gonna leave us here are you?"

**Confession Cam: We're ashamed. But it makes funny TV.**

Charity gave the camera a sheepish smile.

"Eugh…it was either stay and try to help those two, or leave to save our own butts and make ourselves look like jerks in the process…" she grimaced. "Sorry Rosetta. Sorry Riley."

----------------------------------------------

"Sorry!" Was the only reply Rosetta got as the five other campers dashed off. Rosetta let out a cry of frustration and turned to Riley.

"Can you believe those guys?" She asked angrily. Riley grinned.

"Ah well. Maybe Chef and Chris will find us before the animals do…"

"You are _so_ not helping!" Rosetta muttered. She sat down next to Riley and sighed. There was a short pause before Rosetta finally spoke up.

"Um…thanks for helping me out up there when I was…scared," she mumbled, rubbing her arms with a weak smile. "I guess you're not as much of an ass as I thought you were."

"Was that supposed to be a complement?"

"I guess."

"So does that mean you think I'm the coolest and sexiest guy you've ever met?" Riley gave a suave smirk and flexed a muscle. Rosetta rolled her eyes.

"Don't push it hotshot," she growled.

---------------------------------------------

The seventeen campers that had safely returned went back to the stage to find out how each other did. Chris was the one with all the answers, so they turned their attention to him.

"Alright!" Chris said cheerfully. "Here's how things turned out…"

"Laura and Alice, you guys were so caught up in your discussion; you backtracked yourselves and ran out of time." Some of the Bass members glared at the duo. "Raphael and Joel…well, Joel, you hightailed it out of there as soon as you saw the bear. Not cool." More glares came this time, although the majority of them were directed towards Joel. "Allister and Thomas…you guys saved the duck, even though you lost some hair in the process…" Allister rubbed a missing patch on his head and scowled.

"Effie and Hunter…due to Effie's pitching arm, you guys saved the bird easily." Cheers erupted and Effie and Hunter high fived each other. "Kevin and Ashlynn, you guys saved the hard-to-spot frog, so good for you! Rachel and John, you guys saved the dog…despite some…amusing predicaments!" Chris burst into laughter as he saw the thoroughly chewed-up John, who glared at him in response. "Finally, Kenny and Leti saved Charity, as you see, however…Rosetta and Riley remain missing."

"Yeah…" Jade sighed. "Can you get them sooner or later? I think Rosetta's pissed."

"But that's no surprise," Raphael muttered.

"Oh we'll get them, sooner or later, Chef still has to rescue those animals you guys failed to rescue, so maybe eight-ish..."

"It's three o' clock!" Doe pointed out. Chris just grinned.

"Too bad for those two. Anyways, Gophers win! Congrats! Bass, meet me at the campfire at five o' clock."

"What about Rosetta and Ri--" Hunter started.

"Eh." Chris shrugged. "They'll survive till then."

"If they don't kill each other first…" Ashlynn sighed.

--------------------------------------------------------

The eight Bass who weren't stuck in cages at the moment were all nervous around the campfire as Chris tauntingly swung the marshmallow plate around.

"Campers! Did you miss this place?" he cackled. "When I call your name, get your marshmallow and sit down, because you get to enjoy this place for at least a whole week! I just thought I'd remind you in case you forgot. By the way, we were able to get Rosetta and Riley's votes."

"So why aren't they here?" Ashlynn asked.

"I wasn't so sure how to open the cage either."

The majority of the Bass rolled their eyes.

"Anyways here we go…Kevin. Doe. Rosetta and Riley are safe. Laura. Thomas. Allister. Ashlynn."

Jade and Alice glanced at each other fearfully.

"Sadly, this is the last marshmallow. Jade, you were lazy in your challenge. Alice, you distracted Laura from keeping track of where they were. Small things count ladies! The final marshmallow goes to…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

Alice."

Jade shrugged and walked over to the Boat of Losers without another word.

"That's it?! No temper?! No angry meltdown?!" Chris called out, frowning. "How lame! So undramatic…"

"That's not a word," Allister muttered.

"I don't care!"

--------------------------------------------------------------

It was actually closer to eleven at night when the campers remembered the two who were left in the forest. All the Bass and Chef walked up to them, the latter holding a giant sledgehammer in his hands.

"Wait, don't do anything…" Ashlynn whispered, pointing towards her fellow two campers. They were both fast asleep. Riley had one arm wrapped around Rosetta, whose head was leaning on his shoulder.

"Did they try to fall asleep like that?" Alice murmured.

"No way," Thomas chuckled. "I don't think Rosetta would ever do that on purpose."

"Either way…" Laura said with an evil grin. "I think pictures are necessary." She aimed the camera at the cage. "Say cheese!"

"Can I bust open the door now?" Chef asked.

"Nah, let them sleep," Allister suggested.

"We're gonna so get killed when they wake up and find out we still didn't get them out…" Doe sighed.

"Totally worth it!" Kevin laughed. Alice eyed Laura's camera.

"If Rosetta kills you, _then_ can I have your roller skates?"

"For the last time, NO!"

------------------------------------

It was early bright morning when a young girl stepped out into the center of the cabins. She wore long golden pants, with a silly looking ruffled gold shirt and tons of accessories that unsurprisingly, were colored gold. The campers were not up yet. Chef was still asleep. The girl sighed, and leaned against the megaphone pole. Chris appeared seemingly out of nowhere and waved to her.

"So," he said, smirking. "I'm glad you made it, _Satine._"

"I guess I am too…" Satine sighed. "But was the outfit really necessary?"

"It's all necessary for the next challenge!" Chris amended.

"They're really going to hate you when they find out what you're up to."

Chris grinned.

"And that doesn't bother me one bit."

**(A.N.) Done! And wrapped up in one chapter! Anyways, I worked hard to make sure EVERYONE got a good hunk of screen time. You can criticize me for a lot of things, but for today, that is not one of them! And I've got one big piece of news…**

**Voting is abolished! Why? Because nine-tenths of you are forgetting. I'll just make my own list. Of course though, my characters won't win! In fact, only one will make it even relatively close. Everyone else…yeah…gone pretty soon.**

**Sorry to the creator of Jade! I've got to vote off somebody though. Satine is only back for the next challenge, I needed an intern, and I figured it would be more entertaining to have a voted-off contestant to come back temporarily instead of making up my own intern. **

**Bonus Questions are back, and better then ever…XD **

**"If you try to fail, and succeed, which the heck did you just do?"**

**Next chapter involves sports and quite possibly more fourth-wall break-ins.**


	9. The Conspiracy

The cameramen readied their cameras and focused on Leti, the young Hispanic beauty standing on the Dock of Shame.

"Hiya!" She greeted, blowing a kiss towards the camera. "I get to do today's intro-thingy, because apparently having Chris do it all the time is getting old. Anyways…" she paused, and then blinked slowly.

"What was I doing again?" She asked the cameramen. The three cameramen exchanged glances and sighed.

"Oh yeah!" Leti chirped. "Something, something, something…Total! Drama! _Island!"_

"Close enough!" One of the cameramen shouted before switching towards the intro.

-----------------------------------------------------------

Rosetta was drifting. Her mind floated in-between dreams and small glimpses of reality. She was vaguely aware she was still in that horrible cage, yet felt oddly…comfortable. In fact, she was quite content. So, she was vaguely annoyed when an all too familiar voice interrupted her very relaxed state of mind.

"Oy! Kitten! You awake?" Riley asked.

"No, I'm dead. Leave your flowers and get out," she growled. Without opening her eyes, she could tell Riley was smirking.

"Cute," he chuckled. "But for sake of my own well-being, you might want to open your eyes before you fall asleep again." She did as she was told, and immediately regretted it. Rosetta's head was lying on Riley's chest with her arms wrapped around his torso. There was a brief somewhat awkward moment where neither of them said anything, and then Riley spoke up.

"Well I can't say I blame you," he said cockily. "And I can't say I don't mind it."

Rosetta slowly stood up, and glared down at Riley furiously.

"If you don't get out in five seconds, then I swear to God those will be the last words that come out of your mouth."

"I thought we were getting along!" Riley complained. "And besides, it's a cage. How am I supposed to get out?" Rosetta walked over to the door and kicked it with such force that the door flew off its hinges and fell right down.

"Why didn't you do that in the first place?" Riley asked.

"Out!" Rosetta barked.

"Right, just leaving," Riley snickered. "So…did you do that to spend more quality time with yours truly? You could've just asked."

"You might want to run Riley," Rosetta replied swiftly. "I'm giving you ten seconds."

"Why are you not answering my questions? Awfully defensive, aren't ya?" Riley mocked.

"Ten, nine, eight…"

Riley began running, albeit laughing all the while.

---------------------------------------------

Effie sat on the branch of a large tree, watching Rosetta chase Riley around camp. She cheered and whooped as if she were watching a movie; she even brought her own popcorn. Doerenda climbed up beside her very quickly, plopped down, and helped herself to some popcorn.

"You really are a monkey!" Effie giggled. "Are you like, a hybrid or something?" Doerenda cackled and rubbed her hands together.

"No, but I'm certain that once, when I was little, I was kidnapped by aliens that genetically modified me!"

Effie gasped.

"No way!"

"Way!"

"NO WAY!"

"_WAY_!"

"Can you please do us all a favor and _shut up_?!" Laura shouted from the bottom of the tree.

"It's a free country!" Doerenda hollered, throwing the popcorn bowl at Laura. It hit her upside the head and the popcorn flew everywhere.

"That wasn't nice," Effie chastised. "What did the popcorn ever do to you?" The two girls gave each other a sideways glance.

"Three second rule!" They cried in unison, jumping off the tree and scrambling to eat the rest of their popcorn.

------------------------------------------------------------

_Bang, bang, bang._

Raphael was currently banging his head on the wall, due to the fact that Joel was spewing some BS story about how it was Raphael who ran away from the bear, and how Joel had been the true hero. After the seventh retelling it to the fellow Gopher men, Raphael finally had it.

"That's not how it happened!" he blurted out, turning around to face the four others. "Try it the other way around. You deserted me, leaving me to be the one that had to try to save that stupid bear!"

Joel laughed as if Raphael had just claimed that he was the lead singer of the Backstreet Boys.

"Look," he snickered, nudging Hunter with a smirk. "Nerdling is trying to take the credit."

"The credit for what?" Raphael snapped. "Even if you allegedly were the one to stick around, everyone knows that the bear wasn't saved at all!" Joel narrowed his eyes, obviously annoyed that Raphael was putting up a fight. Joel stood up and gave Raphael a rather threatening look.

"What are you trying to say?" he hissed. Raphael gulped and took a step back.

"He's trying to say you're an egotistical idiotic liar," Ashlynn snapped, stepping in between the two (and quite frankly, seemingly appearing out of nowhere). Just about every other camper stood around her, eager to see where this was going.

"You go girl!" Rachel cheered. Joel looked around bewilderingly.

"How'd you guys get in?" He asked angrily.

"Your front door was wide open," Allister said coolly.

"Oh," Joel mumbled, looking down awkwardly. His expression soon reverted back to nasty as he stared at Raphael. "So what, you got your girlfriend to stick up for you? Ooo, scary." Raphael turned bright red at the word _girlfriend._

"No, what's scary is how bad of a liar you are," Ashlynn spat. The two teens glared at each other.

"You have no proof," Joel sneered.

"Oh yes we do!" Kevin sang.

"I stole the key to the camera control room," Rosetta said, grinning a little.

"Well," Alice piped. "What are we waiting for?"

"Field trip!" Thomas said cheerfully. A couple of the other campers rubbed their hands together in anticipation, but it was finally Kenny who got everyone out.

"Well," he murmured, standing up. "It's getting pretty crowded in here. Shall we?"

Seventeen of the campers rushed out excitedly. The last one, Joel, just walked over with them the way a man might walk to his execution.

----------------------------------------

John, being quite good with the camera controls, gladly replayed the scene of Joel running away over, and over, and over…

"Alright that's enough," Hunter said, rolling his eyes. "I think we get the point."

"Sorry," John chuckled, switching the tape off. However, the camera went to where a young blonde girl was standing near the Dock of Shame next to Chris.

"Is that…" Charity mumbled with wide eyes. "Satine?"

"It is!" Laura exclaimed, scowling deeply. "What is _she_ doing here?"

"And wait, who are those people walking up to her?" Leti asked.

The seventeen others beside her gasped.

"No way, mon!" Thomas exclaimed. "Those two are--"

_**Commercial Break**_**!**

Everyone ran to the Dock of Shame as fast as they could, but by the time they got there, only Chris was left.

"Something wrong campers?" he asked.

"There was…we could've sworn that…we know we just saw…" Kevin babbled. Chris raised an eyebrow.

"Right. Whatever you say. Anyways campers…head over east, right in front of the forest for the next challenge! And be prepared, you witches and wizards."

"What did he call us?" Thomas asked Rachel, who shrugged in response.

"Who knows? This show is crazy." She chuckled.

"How could I forget?" Thomas laughed. Rachel punched him in the arm playfully and they began walking with the others. Charity slunk back to tease Joel.

"So, how do you feel?" She taunted. "Must feel kinda like an idiot, am I right?" Joel growled, and shoved Charity out of his way. She fell over with a quick cry of irritation. Allister, hearing this, ran back at helped Charity up. Charity wobbled as she held on to his arm. With cold eyes, Allister glared at Joel, who snarled in response at stomped away.

**Confession Cam: V for Vendetta. G for Get a Grip.**

"I am going to make that dweeb pay!" Joel hissed. "I'll make ALL of them pay! I swear, I am going to…" The camera fast forwarded as Joel ranted for another ten minutes.

--------------------------------------------------------

When the campers finally reached their destination, they were surprised with what awaited them. They were standing in an open grassy field, and two hula hoops on long sticks stuck out on the ground on each end. A big metal mysterious box awaited them in the center of the field. And, relaxing on chairs were Harold and Leshawna from last season, Satine, and Chris who had somehow made it there before them!

"Whoa!" Leti squealed. "What are you guys doing here?"

"Hey y'all!" Leshawna greeted with a cheerful wave. "We're the co-hosts for this challenge m'kay?"

"For I…" Harold said dramatically. "Have returned!"

"Whoa, whoa, wait a minute," Joel snapped. "I thought this challenge was about sports? What is _he_," he pointed towards Harold. "Doing here, if this challenge would probably give him a frickin' medical problem?"

"Nobody ever told us this was about sports…" Kenny said slowly. "How do you know that?"

"Er…I just do!" Joel shouted quickly.

"Chris, would you mind telling these guys what we're up to?" Harold asked.

Chris stood up and gave a welcoming grin.

"Welcome campers, to the next challenge! This is a game that we like to call…_quidditch." _

"Quidditch?" Most of the campers asked in unison.

"From the Harry Potter books…?" Raphael guessed.

"Correctamundo!" Chris sang.

**Confession Cam: One plus one…**

"Ah. Quidditch." Raphael mused. "That would explain why Harold is here. No offense to him, but Harold seems to repel anything related to sports." He grimaced. "What am I saying? I'm no athlete myself. Who knows what sort of screw up I'll do because of this?"

----------------------------------------------------------------

"One problem," John grunted. "We're not frickin' wizards here, in case you haven't noticed." Chris narrowed his eyes.

"Why must you always point out the flaws in my brilliant challenges?" He cried. He then cleared his throat, and continued.

"This is _human_ quidditch," he told the eighteen contestants. "For lack of a better name. Now, are you gonna complain or are you gonna win this challenge!" He shouted enthusiastically.

"Yay! Go human quidditch!" Alice cheered.

"Two things to add," Laura muttered. "One, Alice, you're an idiot." Alice sniffled. "And two, mind telling us…oh I don't know…some rules here?!"

"For once I agree," Doe added.

"All right, all right," Chris sighed. "Satine, would you mind helping me out here?" Satine, who had been standing in the shadows somewhat unnoticed, stepped out towards the middle of the field alongside Chris and the eighteen campers. A few stifled giggles came as they saw Satine's goofy golden clothes.

"_What_ are you wearing?" Laura asked snobbishly, looking as if she had just smelled something awful. Leshawna, still relaxing on the lawn chairs from the side of the field, frowned deeply.

**Confession Cam: Hey, wait a second! Isn't this only for season TWO contestants?!**

"I am _not_ likin' the looks of that mean white girl. She _better_ not win this year, or I am gonna put some major hurtin' on her!" Leshawna growled.

-----------------------------------------------

"It wasn't my idea…" Satine told Laura softly, as she knelt down to start opening the box. Inside was a variety of objects, ranging from a plastic baseball bat, to yes, of course, several dodge balls. Raphael gulped.

**Confession Cam: Excuse us if we laugh…**

"I wonder if they have a protection program for people under the threat of painful running gags…" Raphael sighed.

----------------------------------------------------------

"All right," Chris said cheerfully. "Since I'm not entirely an expert on this subject, give a hand to two runner ups from last year, the amazing, the wonderful…Leshawna and Harold!" Applause came from the season two campers as they stood in front of Chris.

"All right, here's how this is going down," Leshawna started. "Baby, are you ready to give them the head's up here?" She asked Harold.

"Definitely," Harold replied with a grin. He turned towards the box. "Here's how this works. The point of this game is that you want to get this ball," he held a small rubber black ball, "in one of those hula-hoop nets. Got it so far?" The campers nodded feverishly. "Of course, there's more stuff then that. Let's see, you move the ball around by passing it, so no dribbling or kicking." He paused for a moment. "And no chucking it at people. That was last year."

"But there's somethin' else you can do to hit other people, right baby?" Leshawna asked.

"Right!" Harold agreed. "A couple designated team members will have one job and one job only: they get to take these dodge balls, throw them up in the air, hit them with a plastic bat, and try to hit a member from the other team. If you get hit, you have to run around the hula-hoop goal three times, and then you get back into the game."

"Is there a reason Goldilocks is here?" Laura sneered, jerking a finger towards the nervous Satine.

"Yup," Harold wheezed. "Is anybody a Harry Potter fan here?" Raphael meekly raised his hand.

"_Awesome_!" Harold chuckled. "Now, I'm guessing you know this…what in the real quidditch games was completely gold?"

"The…snitch?" Raphael mumbled.

"Yes!" Harold congratulated. "I wouldn't be teasing Satine; she's the key to your team's victory!"

"Hello, not all of us are complete nerds here," Laura growled, throwing yet another sneer towards Harold. "What on earth is a snitch?"

"All right, that is it!" Leshawna shouted, rolling up her sleeve and taking a step forward towards Laura. "You got a problem with my man?!"

"No, none at all!" Laura squeaked, immediately shutting up.

"As I was saying…" Harold continued. "One person will be the seeker, that is, the person trying to grab Satine. She'll be running all over camp. If you catch here, it's a whole fifty points, while a regular goal over here is just ten."

"And how are we supposed to be 'catching' her?" Kevin asked.

"To be honest, you're just kind of tackling her and then bringing her back over here," Harold admitted.

Effie laughed insanely.

"Can that be my job?" She asked with a hopeful wicked grin.

"Are you related to Izzy by any chance?" Leshawna asked Effie.

"Yup!" She replied cheerfully. "How'd you know?"

"Oh just a lucky guess probably," Ashlynn chuckled. Leshawna winked at Ashlynn, and Harold began his instructions again.

"However," Harold continued. "The person will have a timer on them, if they don't return to the field every seven minutes they get disqualified."

"Why's that?" Alice cried.

"Because they like making us miserable," Riley responded.

"Okay that's just about it…" Harold mused, ignoring Riley. "Alright, so can the Bass step forward to my right?" The nine Bass did as they were told. "And Gophers, to my left?" The Gophers did so as well.

"Alright, now what we're gonna do is have you decide who's gonna do what job," Leshawna told them. "Now, pick one person to be the goalie for each team. These guys will obviously be trying to stop the goals. The goal opening is higher than all of y'all, but it'll still help to have someone there." There were low murmurs as the teams conversed to themselves.

"How about you Hunter?" Kenny offered. "You're pretty tall. I bet you could stop a couple shots." Hunter shrugged, and stepped forward. Leshawna gestured towards the goal on the left.

"Er…" Thomas mumbled. "Kevin? Want to give it a shot?"

"Sure!" Kevin replied cheerfully, running over to the right goal.

"Now, pick two people to be your bludger hitters…"

"Bludger?" Rachel repeated.

"The people who hit the other people with dodge balls!" Harold said impatiently.

"Rosetta and Doe," Riley said instantly. They turned to him with the same expression of confusion on their faces.

"Why's that?" Laura asked.

"Duh," Riley smirked. "Combine Rosetta's brute force with Doe's overall craziness and I don't think anybody will survive your guys' blows."

"Whoo! Alright! Let's go, Rosetta!" Doe cheered. "Go blu…bla…blug…" she couldn't remember what she was, (a bludger hitter), so she just whooped once again, and dragged Rosetta towards the edge of their field, picking up two dodge balls and two plastic bats along the way.

"Joel and Effie then?" John whispered, admittedly having eavesdropped on the Bass strategy. Joel was so angry that no one doubted his blows would land, and Effie? Well, Effie is Effie. The only worry with her is that she'd run to the middle of the field and start whapping people with the bat instead.

"But I wanted to tackle Satine…" Effie whined.

A bit off to the right, Satine slowly began stepping backwards.

"It'll be better this way," Charity soothed. She glanced upwards towards the angry twin camper. "Joel?" She asked quietly, holding out a plastic bat. Joel growled, and took grabbed the bat. The two teens walked over next to where Rosetta and Doe were standing.

"Alright, now y'all need to pick your seekers," Leshawna continued.

"I'm fast!" Alice said quickly, jumping up and down. Riley looked at her hyperactive behavior, and gave an amused grin.

"All right, go over there Scrappy," he chuckled. Alice bobbed her head up and down, and skipped over to the left of Satine.

"Can I?" Leti asked hopefully. The others shrugged, and Leti bounced over to the right of Satine, high-fiving Alice once she got there.

"The rest of you ten are just regular players. Pass the black ball around and try to shoot it in the goal. Oh," Harold paused and gave a sheepish grin. "You have to hold _these_," he held out ten different broomsticks. "Under your arm."

"Of course," Laura muttered, stomping over to Harold and grabbing her broomstick.

Thomas sighed, grabbing his broomstick as well. "This is a very odd and difficult challenge, mon."

Meanwhile, Ashlynn walked over to Raphael, who looked a little green.

"You okay?" Ashlynn asked with a raised eyebrow.

"Aside from the fact that I suck at sports and Joel is no doubt going to make me miserable for the rest of our stay here together…yeah, I'm doing fine," Raphael said sarcastically.

"Kinda cynical today aren't you?" Ashlynn growled. Raphael grinned.

"A little." Just then, Raphael got whapped in the head with a dodge ball, courtesy of Joel.

"Sorry!" He shouted, not sounding sorry at all. "Bad aim. I'll have to work on that."

"And so begins a lovely day for a challenge," Raphael sighed.

"Hey!" Leshawna shouted from across the field. "You two lovebirds wanna keep holdin' us up, or are you ready to go?"

"Right, coming!" The two shouted in unison, before scuttling off and going to their assigned teams. Then, the assigned teams went into their positions. It was pretty much just a big circle around the center of the field. The humongous box had been moved, so now in the middle was just the black game ball.

"Okay, on my mark," Harold rasped. "Satine, I'm going to give you a full minute head start, and then send the seekers after you. Once the seekers take off, the games begin. Ready?" Satine gulped, but nodded. "Go!" Harold shouted. She took off as fast as she could. Harold counted to a full minute before Alice and Leti took after her.

"And with that," Harold chuckled. "Let the games BEGIN!" He then doubled over with a gasp from the loud shout he had ended with.

Leshawna, standing in the middle of the field, threw the ball high up into the air while the two teams tensed.

**Confession Cam: Like matrix, but with out the slow-mo**

"Sometimes there are these moments where everything feels like a tense fight is about to break out—despite that being a rather cheesy movie sort of thing. That was the case when Leshawna threw that ball in the air." Kevin gave an excited grin. "You could feel the two teams staring each other down…with those bludger hitters on the side of the field…I've never felt so ALIVE!" He burst out, standing up, tripping, and falling right out of the bathroom stall.

"Nice one," Doe laughed off-screen.

-----------------------------------------------

The ball began falling from the air while the two teams crouched to grab it. Riley and Kenny leaped to grab it, but stopped in midair and fell to the ground when Harold interrupted them.

"WAIT!" He shouted. Everyone glanced at him with irritation. "Er…I forgot a rule. You, the bludger hitters," He pointed towards the four annoyed teams armed with bats and balls. "Once you hit someone, or try to hit someone, you can't hit the ball again for another two minutes."

"Oh…okay…" They mumbled in unison. Leshawna paused, and then picked up the ball and threw it in the air again. Once again, Riley and Kenny leaped to grab it, but Harold yet again interrupted them.

"WAIT! I forgot to tell you. The first team to one hundred points wins."

"Is that all?" Leshawna asked. Harold nodded. "Nothing else? Positive?"

"Yes, _gosh_!" Harold mumbled. For the third time, Leshawna threw the ball in the air, but unsurprisingly Harold interrupted them.

"Don't forget the most important rule of all!" He exclaimed. The two teams glared at him furiously, but waited for whatever the heck the rule was. "And that rule would be…have fun!" He chuckled at his own attempt at a joke. The campers rolled their eyes impatiently and gesture for Leshawna to throw the ball up.

This time, thankfully, there were no interruptions. Kenny and Riley leaped towards the ball, and Riley yanked it out of Kenny's hands quickly. Effie, with a high pitched giggle, threw her dodge ball up in the air and tried to hit Riley, but he ducked out of the way, running towards the Gopher goal.

He then passed it to Thomas, who caught it, ran a few steps, and tried to pass it to Ashlynn. The pass was intercepted by Rachel, who kept the ball low and spun out of the way of everyone. She made a rainbow pass to John across the field, and John tossed it in the Bass goal, despite Kevin's attempt to knock it out of his hands.

"Gophers—ten. Bass—zero." Chris announced over a megaphone.

The Bass were given the ball to start out with, and Allister decided to begin running with it.

"Allister! Over here!" Ashlynn shouted. Allister glanced towards her, and meanwhile ran into Raphael who was standing around awkwardly. The two fell over and then were hit with dodge balls—courtesy of Doe and Joel.

"You two! Around the goals!" Chris shouted. They both got up grumbling, and ran around their goals, (Allister a tad faster), and got back into the game. Meanwhile, the dropped ball had been picked up by Thomas, who stood up once and was almost immediately hit by Effie, who had just gotten done with her two minute time limit.

Sighing, he quickly passed it towards Riley who rammed into poor Charity.

**Confession Cam: I'm sorry, were you looking for a witty title up here?**

"Sheesh!" Charity growled. "Second time knocked over today. Stupid men."

----------------------------------------------------------------------

Riley blinked dizzily as he stood up and gave an underhand pass to Laura. Laura grinned as she somersaulted underneath John, faked out Kenny, and soon chucked the ball in the Gopher's goal with such force that Hunter yelped and ducked out of the way.

"What's the matter?" Laura taunted the cowering Hunter. "Afraid of a girl?"

**Confession Cam: Well, we're happy. Look how many times we've come on so far!**

Hunter scowled deeply.

"No, not afraid of a girl. Afraid of girl's psycho toss."

---------------------------------------------------

Laura laughed sharply as she spun the ball around.

"Alright, we get it, you're amazing," Rachel said impatiently, as she held out an outstretched hand for the ball. Laura snorted.

"Whatever, harpy. You're just jealous."

"Don't talk to her like that!" Thomas blurted out. Nervously, he quickly clamped his mouth over his hands. Rachel blushed, and smiled.

"Aw, how cute," Laura remarked sarcastically. "Take it. And good luck. You need it." Rachel glared at her. Laura just smirked.

"Gophers ten, Bass ten!" Chris said quickly. Rachel then clamped a hand over the ball, surveying her surroundings. She wrapped one arm, (the one she had the broom stick under), protectively around the ball, and kept one arm outstretched to try to keep the Bass at bay….which was not intended to be a pun. Seriously.

Without knowing the mistake she was about to make, she chest-passed the ball to Raphael, who tried to catch it, (he really did), but tripped, and was soon nailed in the head by a dodge ball, thanks to Rosetta.

"That's gotta hurt," Ashlynn mumbled, grimacing. "You okay, Raphael?" She called out.

Raphael held a thumb up, although Ashlynn could pretty much sense the sarcasm.

"Good to hear," She said, rolling her eyes.

Raphael stood up reluctantly and jogged around the goal three times. While he was doing that, Ashlynn grabbed the ball and managed to get over to the goal. She took a shot, but it was blocked by Hunter.

"Nice try!" Kevin called out, trying to cheer her up. It didn't work.

**Meanwhile:**

Leti and Alice were neck and neck, grinning at each other. They could both see Satine in the distance, waving her arms frantically as she dashed around the camp.

"You're going down!" Alice exclaimed, taking a small lead ahead of Leti. Leti laughed, and caught up to Alice again.

"You're going down even more!" Leti giggled.

"You're mom's going down!" Alice taunted. Leti gasped dramatically.

"How dare you!"

Alice then veered left, and Leti kept going straight, wondering what Alice was doing. Although she was now gasping for breath—she was getting closer to Satine, so she kept her speed up. Satine however, was starting to seriously get tired. To make matters worse, she tripped.

"Perfect," Leti and Satine said in unison. Satine said so because she was annoyed and was being sarcastic. Leti said so because she was getting closer and closer to Satine, and Alice was nowhere in sight. She was only a few feet away from Satine, when she stopped, surprised, because she heard an all-too familiar voice.

"GERONIMO!" Alice shouted from on top off the mess hall. She slid down, and sped towards Satine. Leti did the same. They got closer and closer until…

_Beep! Beep! BEEP!_ Leti's stopwatch, set at a different time then Alice's, went off. Leti and Alice paused for a short moment, and then Leti let out a humongous string of swears. Alice covered her ears from the loud profanity, and then Leti stomped back towards the field, swearing loudly all the way.

Alice then picked up Satine by the collar and dragged her back towards the field, grinning like a madwoman.

"I can walk you know…" Satine reminded Alice.

"And I could care less," Alice replied.

-----------------------------------------------------

When they got back, Leti was scornfully sitting on the ground next to Chris. The score was thirty to fifty, Gophers leading. Chris, spotting Alice and Satine, smiled.

"Alright then," he chuckled. He picked up his megaphone and shouted at the campers, "Alice has found the snitch! The score is now eighty to fifty, Bass leading!"

The game seemed to pause for a moment, but then the Bass led out a loud cheer.

From then on, the quidditch game went downhill for the Gophers. Once they Bass took the lead, their confidence was re-boosted, and they started to do much better. Laura was a very good athlete—although her constant jeers didn't help her earn much respect—so she scored yet another goal, leading the Bass to ninety points.

"Time out!" Kenny shouted. "We'd like to call a time out!"

"Knock yourself out," Chris replied with a shrug while he checked himself out in a mirror.

"Some things never change," Leshawna muttered beside him.

The Gophers huddled together.

"Alright, we gotta win this!" John said in a hushed tone. "I know we're behind, but what can we do to try to take the lead again?"

"One more shot for the Bass and they win," Rachel said quietly.

"What to do, what to do…" Charity murmured. "I don't think there's a whole lot _to_ do," she admitted after a while. "We just have to try to play our best."

Raphael gulped.

"Alright!" Kenny exclaimed, trying to rally up his teammates. "We can win this thing! Ready?" He put his hand in, and the others did the same.

"One, two, three…Gophers!" They cried in unison.

Charity started out with the ball this time. She and Rachel kept passing to each other back and forth as they ran down the field.

"Intercept it!" Laura shouted to her teammates, realizing what the Gopher girls were trying to do. Riley jumped up and caught the ball, but as soon as he landed, he was hit by Effie with a dodge ball.

"Face my wrath!" Effie cried out manically.

Riley scowled and handed it off to Laura, who held it high in the air, just out of reach from the other campers. Reluctantly, (she wasn't much of a team player), she passed it to Thomas, who was then bonked in the head by Joel.

"Idiot," Laura muttered sourly under her breath.

"Raphael get it!" Charity shouted, for Raphael was the closest to the ball. Sweating a little, he picked it up, and began running towards a goal. Oddly enough, no one seemed to stop him. He ran and ran…until he was at the goal, and he took a shot and made it!

But, the Gophers weren't cheering.

"You…you…absolute _moron_!" Hunter shouted right in front of him. Raphael, caught up in the moment, realized what he just did.

He just scored at _his own goal_.

After realizing that they had just won, the Bass cheered wildly, giving each other hugs and high-fives.

"We did it, we did it!" Doe exclaimed, running over to Kevin and kissing him right on the lips. The campers all _aww_'d, and Doe and Kevin pulled away from each other, blushing. Rosetta and Riley even hugged each other, before Rosetta quickly pulled away, realizing what she was doing.

"Is that a blush I see?" Riley asked her with a wink.

"No!" Rosetta shouted, obviously embarrassed.

Ashlynn just stared hopelessly at Raphael as he was angrily reprimanded by his teammates. She closed her eyes and sighed. She then fingered something in her back pocket…

The same leather wallet she picked up at the campfire earlier…

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Back so soon?" Chris mockingly asked the Gophers as they all fidgeted uncomfortably. Leshawna, Harold, and Satine stood next to him.

"Will you just get on with it?" Harold sighed.

"Right, right," Chris muttered. Once again he went over the rules of the marshmallows, and then began handing them out one by one.

"Charity. Effie. Hunter. Kenny. John. Leti. Kenny. You seven are safe." Chris told them. The seven safe campers let out sighs of relief, grabbed their marshmallows, and sat down.

Joel and Raphael were the last two remaining.

"Raphael…what can I say man? You _really_ screwed up. And Joel, you don't seem to be very popular with anybody. Nice." He paused for dramatic effect.

"Campers, the final marshmallow goes to…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

Joel. Raphael, grab your bags and head off to the Dock of Sh--"

"WAIT!" Ashlynn screamed, running towards the campfire with the other Bass at her heels. "Wait, wait, wait!" She then tripped in a rather comical fashion, making all of the other Bass stumble over in a domino effect. There was a short and awkward pause.

"You were saying?" Chris asked.

Ashlynn wobbled up, held up Joel's wallet, and stared him down.

"This is your wallet right?" She asked him.

"Right…" Joel mumbled, not seeing where she was going with this. Joel rolled his eyes. "What of it?"

"So you swear, this is absolutely your wallet, no questions asked?"

Joel tensed slightly.

"Unless you did something to it," he replied, a tad too quick.

Ashlynn turned to Chris.

"Raphael doesn't deserve to go home," she said sharply. Chris blinked.

"Well, he was voted off so--"

"That's not what I mean!" Ashlynn snapped. She finally took out the wallet's ID. "He," she pointed towards Joel. "He's not Joel. He's Leo!"

"Leo?!" The campers asked in unison.

"No way," Chris laughed. "I gotta see this!" He swiped the wallet out of Ashlynn's hands, and let out a howl of laughter.

"I don't get it…" Leti mumbled. Hunter put an arm around her.

"Leo and Joel were twins, right Ashlynn?" Hunter asked.

"Right!" Ashlynn huffed. "And…and they switched places on the Dock of Shame! There has to be a rule about that!"

"Whoa, whoa, wait a second!" Joel (or Leo?) interrupted. "Aren't you forgetting something? She could've just messed with my ID! She's Raphael's little girlfriend, so why wouldn't she try to find an excuse to save his sorry butt?"

"Well, there's only one way to find this out," Chris mused, flipping a cell phone on. He dialed a number quickly, and put it on speakerphone for all to hear. A voice similar to Joel's (uh, or Leo's) came on.

"_Playa de Losers, Leo speaking_."

And then, Chris said in an unusually serious voice, "The gig's up. We know what you and your brother did." There was a short pause; all the campers could hear from the other side of the phone was a sharp intake of breath.

_"What?! Did Leo blow his cover? God, that idiot!" _ Came the angry voice.

"Oh don't worry," Chris said with a wicked smirk. "Your brother didn't tell us."

_"Then who?"_

"Well, another camper gave us the idea…but you my friend just finalized it," Chris chuckled.

_"Oh shi--"_ Chris snapped the phone shut.

"I love technology," He laughed. He then turned to face Jo—er, Leo with a malicious grin. Everyone else turned towards him, the majority having looks of shock on their face.

"So _he's_ Leo?" Leti asked, pointing towards the twin sitting in front of him.

"And _that_ was Joel?" Kenny mumbled, pointing towards Chris's cell phone.

"And _I'm _pregnant!" Effie shouted. Everyone turned to stare at her. Then, realizing she was kidding, they turned back to Chris, who was standing in front of Leo.

"Looks like you broke the rules kiddo," Chris announced. Leo paled.

"Since when has there been a rule about that?!" He cried.

"Since now," Chris replied. "Impersonation of another contestant…could be a crime for all I know."

"Okay, that's milking it a bit," Allister sighed, rolling his eyes.

"Whatever," Chris growled. "Point is…" He crossed his arms and jerked towards the Dock of Shame. "Leo, I've said it once and I'll say it again. You are leaving Total Drama Island!" Leo grimaced, and then sighed. He got on the Boat of Losers and waved towards the remaining seventeen campers. Nobody waved back.

Chris turned towards the camera.

"And so the fifth episode is over! Told you this one would be dramatic! Stay tuned next time!" He waved, and the camera flicked off. Everything on-air was over.

-----------------------------------------------------

Most of the campers had gone to bed by now it seemed, however, Raphael stayed at the campfire, a bit frozen with shock. He hadn't said a word while that whole scene had played out, and because of that, he now felt like he needed to let out a long big scream.

Instead, he slipped backwards from his log, and lay on the ground, staring at the starry sky in silence.

"Hey," Ashlynn said softly, sitting down besides him.

"Hey," Raphael responded weakly. He turned to face her, his brown eyes full of questions. "Why…why did you go to all that trouble? Just to save me…" Ashlynn closed her eyes, and let out a long breath, lying down as well.

"To see Joel—um, Leo…whatever…to see that jerk who was bossing you around so long stay instead of you," she shook her head. "That wasn't right." She propped herself up on one elbow. "I really like you. You're a good guy. And…I just want you to stay." She plopped herself back down, biting her lip.

"Thank you," Raphael whispered. It was freezing cold and it was late at night, but they both stayed, lying next to each other.

"You can leave if you're getting tired," Raphael offered. Ashlynn smiled.

"Trust me Raphael; I could lie here all night."

**(A.N.) Aw…it's done! I liked that ending. ^.^ Anyways, show of hands: Who expected quidditch?**

**I thought not! XD**

**Er…really, not much to say. I hope you guys enjoyed it. Next challenge will either involve music…or board games gone a bit…extreme. Yeah, I know. Weird.**

**Oh yeah, just because **_**Volvochick**_** apparently enjoys these:**

**"A woman shoots her husband. Then she holds him under water for over 5 minutes. Finally, she hangs him. But 5 minutes later they both go out together and enjoy a wonderful dinner together. How can this be?"**

**Sayanora!**


	10. War It Is!

"Uh…what are we waiting for here?" One of the cameramen, henceforth known as Greg, asked irritably.

"It's some other contestant's turn to do the intro," another answered, who shall be called Craig. Greg muttered something incoherently under his breath, and they both waited until finally a jazzed-up Effie came up to the camera, inches away from the camera screen.

"HI!" She shouted. "Last time on Total Drama Island we played some quidditch and Leshawna and Harold came and while we played Raphael was really bad at sports and Laura was really good!" She said, all in one breath. "When it came time for elimination, Ashlynn saved Raphael's sorry butt and sent Leo on the Dock of Shame yet again, because of the mysterious conspiracy the twins had planned! Now, in this challenge, will more rivalries start? Will tension arise between friendships? And when will Laura find out that I cut her braid off?"

An ear shattering shriek answered that question. Effie grinned, and the two cameramen exchanged somewhat frightened glances.

"I'll be needing this," Effie announced, swiping Craig's camera. Apparently, she wanted documented evidence of Laura's…er…bad hair day. She immediately started running back to camp, Craig chasing her in a futile attempt to get his camera back.

"Having the contestants do the intro was the stupidest idea this show has ever had…" Greg sighed. "Cue intro music."

---------------------------------------------------------------------

_Nobody_ was asleep after Laura's twenty-second scream of terror. At first, a few were worried for her safety…but then everyone burst out into laughter when they saw Laura storm out of her cabin, her long blonde hair made into a horribly messy short cut. Effie ran around outside in circles, whooping and holding a pair of scissors triumphantly.

"Oh this is rich!" Rachel exclaimed, shaking with laughter.

"Still haven't quite forgiven Laura's annoying comments yesterday?" Leti guessed. Rachel nodded, and they both joined in louder laughter.

"Looks good on you!" Doe called out, giggling. "But what will Riley call you now that your braid is gone?" Riley smirked as he leaned against the wall of the Bass boy cabin.

"Stinger still applies for her," he replied. "Yowch. Not like her words aren't sharp enough."

"You're not exactly Mr. Nice yourself," Thomas reminded him.

"Oh come on, how bad can I be?" Riley protested. Alice strolled by them, humming.

"_You're a mean one, Mr. Fox,"_ She sang. _"You really are a heel! You're as cuddly as a cactus; you're as charming as an eel Mr. Fox…"_ Riley just winked at her, and Alice laughed, skipping off to join Leti.

"You're last name is Fox?" Kevin asked. Riley gave him a toothy grin.

"Yup. They don't call me a fox for nothing!"

Kevin rolled his eyes, but laughed.

"This has been a great way to start out the day, huh?" Charity murmured, nudging Allister.

"Entertaining at the very least," Allister agreed. "I have a bad feeling the challenge today will spoil it."

"At least the twin idiots are gone," Ashlynn sighed.

"Seconded," John mumbled.

The conversation continued like that for a while; Laura chased Effie all around camp before finally giving up and going on to trying to figure out how to make her new short haircut work. Eventually, the others separated to do…well, whatever the heck they wanted to do.

Raphael was lying on his bunk bed, playing a video game. The rest of his cabin was empty, and he was enjoying the silence.

He was _also_ enjoying the whole no-Leo concept.

However, he was very startled when his cell phone rang. Who would be calling him?

"Hello?" He asked suspiciously, as he flicked the phone open.

"Oh my gosh, hi Raphael!

"…Hi Effie…"

"Guess what?" She giggled.

"What?"

"You should totally hang out with me and Doe today!" Effie blurted out. Raphael blinked slowly. He had barely even spoken to this girl before. Why on Earth did she want to hang out with him all of a sudden? Raphael couldn't just refuse. I mean, it was a seemingly harmless thing to do, right? He glanced at his video game. He was losing the race anyways, so he might as well.

Stretching out on his bed, he paused, looked outside the window, and then rolled his eyes.

"Effie, I can see you."

"No you can't."

Raphael ignored that.

"Why did you call me if you're right outside my window?" he asked. _And why am I still even talking on the phone?_ He wondered to himself.

Instantly, the orange mess of hair outside of his window popped down. Raphael sighed and went outside, going to the side of the cabin and seeing Effie on the ground. He snapped his cell phone shut, and Effie laughed awkwardly as she stood up.

"So, do you want to come?" Effie asked hopefully. "Doe and I are just going for a walk in the forest."

"I don't see why not," Raphael mumbled. Effie let out a shriek of delight and grabbed Raphael by the arm, dragging him all the way to the edge of the forest. Doe was waiting for them, equally excited.

"Ready?" They asked in unison. Raphael looked at them bleakly, confused, and nodded.

The trio walked around the forest for a few minutes, until Doe said something that instantly made Raphael regret coming along.

"So…are you and Ashlynn dating now?" she asked. Raphael groaned. Of course. The only reason the girl's dragged him along was to get some juicy gossip. Raphael started to turn around, but Effie grabbed him by the shoulder and spun him around.

"Sorry!" She laughed. "But you've got to tell us. We're literally dying to know."

"I…no…we're not," Raphael mumbled, turning bright red. He began to turn around, but was only spun around…again.

"Why not?" Doe pressed on. "You totally should be!"

Raphael was starting to get irritated. He took one step backwards, glaring at the girls, who gave apologetic grins and stepped forwards as well. They kept that awkward rhythm like that for a while, until they were all swept up by a net trap.

"What just happened?" Doe asked, squirming uncomfortably in the net.

"I don't know!" Effie cackled. "Maybe this is where Chef usually catches our meals."

That little sentence made all three of them shudder, even though they were _fairly_ certain they wouldn't be turned into the next meal. There was a short pause.

"So…" Doe murmured, turning her glance towards the awkward teen underneath her. "Should WE ask Ashlynn out _for_ you?"

"ARGH!" was the only reply she received.

----------------------------------------------------------------

Meanwhile Charity and Rachel were relaxing around the camp together. Allister's and Thomas's new found friendship with each other drew both Charity and Rachel together.

"I'm a little shocked, personally," Rachel admitted as she and Charity sat down on the steps of their cabin. "Who knew someone as cheerful as Thomas could be friends with someone as quiet as Allister?"

"You just gotta know how to make him open up," Charity laughed. "Allister is a great guy, y'know? He's deeper then a lot of the other guys here…no offense to any of them, Thomas especially," she chuckled. Rachel bonked Charity on the head.

"You like Allister! You totally like him!" she teased.

"It's not that obvious, is it?" Charity inquired, obviously embarrassed.

"It's pretty obvious," Rachel said bluntly. "Besides, he likes you too."

"How do you know?" Charity asked. Rachel grinned.

"I know these kinds of things! It's like a sixth sense."

"Right…" Charity laughed.

"Yo ho ho and a bottle of rum!" A new voice interrupted optimistically. It was Thomas, dressed head to toe in Santa gear and holding a big sack that seemed to be filled to the top.

"Okay first, that's what pirates say not Santa," Charity told him. "Second, it's no where near Christmas. And third, what's in the sack?"

Thomas thrust out the sack, and dropped it at the girls' feet.

"This sack is filled with some of the best pop there is, courtesy of Chris's fridge," Allister announced, appearing besides Thomas and looking rather smug.

"There's no way he gave it to you," Rachel said suspiciously.

"Because he didn't!" Thomas sang. "We're just…borrowing the pop."

"And never returning it," Charity laughed. "Now give me some. I've had nothing but sludgy water for the past few weeks!"

Allister took out four cans and tossed one to everybody.

"A toast," he said, with a huge grin. "To four friends that will make it the farthest!"

"Agreed!" They all shouted, clicking their pops together and then taking a big swig.

-------------------------------------------------

Kenny sighed, and walked around camp with his hands in his pockets. He was trying to avoid Leti, (and more importantly, Hunter,) as much as he could. That tactic was nearly impossible though, because Leti …wanted to be friends with him. That made things a little more than awkward. And, Chris wasn't helping.

"Hey, Leti!" Chris called out pleasantly. "I see Kenny over here!" Kenny swore under his breath. Leti appeared around the corner looking ecstatic, and at least to Kenny, more beautiful than ever.

"Hi Kenny!" Leti greeted, putting an arm around him casually.

"H-h-h-hey…Leti…" Kenny murmured, blushing and attempting to keep his cool.

"What'cha up to?" She asked him politely.

"Walking…" Kenny mumbled. Leti rolled her eyes.

"Oh come on, you have to do something more exciting then that!" She grinned and grabbed his hand. "Let's go!"

"What're we doing?!" Kenny cried.

"Anything!" Leti laughed. Eventually, the duo found an old Frisbee and starting playing with that. When they got bored, they changed to whatever else they found around. Kenny was starting to feel more at ease, that is, until Hunter showed up.

"Hey…guys," Hunter greeted, although Kenny noticed his teeth were clenched. "Can I join?"

"Sure!" Leti giggled. Leti was just about to pass him the football she and Kenny had been playing with, but she dropped it in surprise, hearing Raphael's irritated shout from inside the forest.

"Oh great," Hunter sighed. "What'd he get into this time?"

The three of them went inside the forest, and found Doe, Effie, and Raphael still stuck in the net. There was silence as they stared at each other—and then stifled giggles came from the three on the ground.

"Just get us down from here," Raphael sighed, exasperated.

"CAMPERS! GET YO BUTTS DOWN HERE TO THE STAGE! NOW!" Chef's roaring voice blasted over the intercom.

"Oh dear…" Kenny groaned. "What now?"

"A challenge, moron," Hunter grumbled, cutting the three stuck teens down from the net.

"What were you three doing in a net in the middle of the forest anyways?" Leti inquired.

"Don't wanna talk about it," Raphael said sharply, stomping out of the forest.

"He's in denial about Ashlynn," Doe and Effie explained, before running off to the camp's stage. Leti gave the girls a suspicious—and somewhat angry—look before running off.

**Confession Cam: Oh here it goes, here it goes, here it goes again…**

"I don't know," Leti muttered. "It kind of bugs me that those girls are playing matchmakers. Let the dude makes his own decisions, sheesh."

----------------------------------------------------------------

The seventeen campers sat down in the bleachers yet again, waiting to see what was going to happen for today's challenge.

"Today…" Chris started, sitting on a table in the center of the stage, cross-legged. There were seventeen chairs surrounding the table, and the campers eyed each other nervously to this fact. "Today you're challenge is called, _Me You and IQ."_

"You're kidding, right?" John objected. "A trivia contest for the next challenge? Are you seriously starting to run out of ideas, or what?"

"You're such a critic!" Chris whined. "This is NOT your average trivia game. To help me out with that awesome fact, here's your favorite muscular madman…Chef!"

Chef, once again, was wearing a bright pink frilly dress. None of the campers dared to laugh, at least, after the deadly glower he shot them.

"This isn't your regular quiz bowl, maggots," he growled. "In this challenge, you'll be receiving the oddest, most confusing, and all around crazy questions you've ever heard. And that sure as hell isn't all there is. If you get the question WRONG…" he paused, glaring at each of the campers one-by-one. "If you get the question WRONG, you must perform a task to stay in the competition. We have some hard, grueling, pain-inducing, spine-tingling challenges for you, you _lucky_ contestants," he finished with an evil grin.

"Bring it!" Rosetta called out tauntingly.

"You asked for it," Chris chuckled. "Now, in a calm, orderly fashion can I have you contestants come down to the sta--?"

The contestants rampaged down into the stage, sitting on each of their assigned seats. Fidgeting excitedly, they waited for Chris to continue. The host groaned as he stood up, for he and been pretty much plowed down.

"Right…geez you guys are even more insane then last year's contestants…" he complained.

"I wouldn't be one to talk!" Kevin laughed. Doe snickered, and high-fived him.

"C'mon guys, Chris needs to tell us the rules!" Alice whined. Hearing this, Laura rolled her eyes.

**Confession Cam: We're not a barbershop, stop brushing your frickin' hair!**

Laura, (who yes, was brushing her hair) gave a haughty sneer to the camera.

"That Alice is _so_ annoying. Trust me; I'm going to make sure she's gone as soon as I get the chance."

----------------------------------------------------

"Alright, let's continue!" Chris shouted. "One by one, I'll go around in this deranged and dysfunctional circle of ours. You'll be asked a question. If you get it wrong, you get the chance to do something in our random jar of stunts," Chris gestured to said jar, which well…was just a jar, dang it. "If you are unable or unwilling to perform the stunt, well, you are O-U-T! But, if you get the question right (and good luck with _that_) you do not have to perform any stunt, and you get to stay to the next one." Chris turned to the contestants. "Get it?" They nodded. "Good, then let's start this game show…_Me You and IQ!_

"Kudos for the stupid cheesy name," Allister complimented sarcastically. Chris gave Allister his trademark grin.

"Why, thank you." Chris turned to the camera. "And now…round one! Here…we…go!"

The lights dimmed dramatically, and the spotlight began going around randomly, until it finally focused on…Rachel.

"Alright, Rachel here is your question…if it took eight men ten hours to build a wall, how long would it take for _four_ men to build it?"

Rachel smiled.

"Oh, that's easy. Five hours!"

"WRONG!" Chris shouted. "It would take no time at all, because the wall was already built!" Rachel's face fell as she realized that he had been tricked.

**Confession Cam: Can't see it coming, even when it hits you in the nose**

Rachel slumped on the toilet and buried her head in her hands.

"Should've known…all of the trivia is going to be like this. After all, they mostly just want to show the stunts, now don't they?" The camera then switched to Riley, who looked perfectly at ease, oddly enough.

"It's just the think-outside-the-box type of trivia," he said, shrugging. "It shouldn't be that hard…"

----------------------------------------------------------------------------

"So Rachel," Chris chuckled as he walked over to the oh-so mysterious jar of stunts…and stuff… "Here is your task! You must retrieve walk into the infamous Wawanakwa bear cave, retrieve a flag there, and head back here. Simple, no?"

"Easier said than done," Rachel growled, as she began walking to the forests. Chris, Chef, and the other sixteen campers were trailing her.

And a few minutes later…

"HOLY FRICK! GAH!" Rachel came out of the cave screaming, the bear close on her heels. The others were at a safe distance behind. Eventually the bear lost its interest and went back to its cave. Rachel groaned, slumped into Thomas's arms, and held out a white flag for the sadistic host.

"Great! Let's continue, shall we?" Chris said cheerfully. Everyone moaned.

The next one called out was…Riley. He looked pretty easygoing.

"Riley! Your question is as follows…is there a Fourth of July in England?" Chris asked. A few of the campers were thinking 'no' in their heads, since England doesn't celebrate the holiday, but Riley's answer was different.

"Yup," Riley replied. "It comes right after the third."

Chris scowled, as he muttered a reluctant, "Correct!" Riley spun around in his chair and waved to the viewers back home.

"Next is…Kenny!" Chris announced. The spotlight drew to the shy young man, who smiled weakly.

"Alright Kenny here is your question…how do you kill a werewolf?"

Kenny blinked slowly, trying to think of any mythology he had heard before. His answer came out a little strangled.

"With…um…silver?"

"Nope! It's with shoe polish!" Chris told him, patting him on the shoulder.

"That makes no sense!" Kenny objected.

**Confession Cam: Obscure references are our best friends**

Chris laughed as he held up a laptop.

"Ever heard of the _Impossible Quiz_?"

------------------------------------------------------------------

Chris ignored Kenny's rebuttal and walked over to pick out his challenge—but Chef stopped him and whispered something quietly.

"Alright, Kenny! You have a personalized challenge!" Chris proclaimed once Chef was done talking to him. He spun around and cracking an evil grin, holding out a card with some messy scribbling on it. Kenny grabbed it from his hand and read it, his face becoming bright red.

"Who told you to do this?" Kenny asked, his tone squeaky.

"Some chick who called herself _Janey1097." _Chris replied. Upon hearing this, Raphael did a quick face palm.

**Confession Cam: I'll do what I want, thank you very much!**

Raphael eyed the camera, scowling.

"Honestly? Once wasn't enough for you?"

--------------------------------------------------------

Back on the stage, Kenny pocketed the mysterious card.

"No," he mumbled. Chris shrugged, and directed Kenny back to the bleachers. The Gophers booed him angrily.

**Confession Cam: And just like that…**

Kenny held out his card for the camera to see. It read:

_**Tell Leti how you really feel about her**_

__"No," Kenny repeated, sighing.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"And just like that…we move on!" Chris exclaimed.

The first round was completed quickly. Everyone else remained in their seats, save for Alice, who was knocked off after refusing to streak around camp for a 'challenge'. No one could really blame her for that.

"Let's continue round two with…Ashlynn!" Ashlynn shrunk in her seat nervously.

"Let's get it over with," she said, cracking her neck.

"Ashlynn, say silk five times," Chris instructed.

Ashlynn gave him a puzzled look, but obliged.

"Silk, silk, silk, silk, silk," she said quickly.

"Now what do cows drink?"

"Milk!" Ashlynn blurted out.

"Nope," Chris said, grinning. "Cows drink water. Word association will do that to ya." Ashlynn groaned.

"That wasn't even trivia," John pointed out. Chris shrugged.

"Oh well!"

"So, what's my challenge?" Ashlynn sighed.

"You must eat…THIS!" Chris said dramatically as he plopped a tray of Chef's infamous mystery meat down.

"What is _this_?!" Ashlynn cried, poking it as if it might move. She could've sworn it did. It was blobby and pink and to protect the innocence of your eyes I shall refrain from describing it anymore.

"Lizard brains!" Chef told her, popping out of nowhere. Ashlynn pushed the disgusting tray away.

"I can't eat that! No way!" She groaned, taking a seat next to Kenny and Alice. In that same round, both Raphael and Laura got the boot, the former for being too frightened to hug Chef, the latter for refusing to give everybody in the room a compliment. John and Riley were the only ones so far who didn't have to do any challenges yet, due to the fact that they were good at figuring out the 'trick' in the trick questions.

Time for round three…hooray?

"All right Rosetta! Here's a question for you," Chris batted his hands on the table as if doing a drum roll. "Rosetta…If your vacuum cleaner really sucks, is it a  
bad thing?" He asked. Rosetta stared at him blankly for a few minutes, wondering if he was kidding or not.

**Confession Cam: This show is crazy. Deal with it.**

Rosetta swung her leg around with an annoyed expression.

"Some trivia game this is. Of course I'm stuck with the question that makes no sense." She rolled her eyes.

-------------------------------------------------

Rosetta put her palms up defensively.

"All right, whatever, you got me," she muttered. "What do I have to do?"

"Oh goodie!" Chris sang, although when you hear your insane host saying that, it's quite rarely actually 'good'. "Your challenge is to jump off the thousand foot cliff, wearing T-bone steaks around your neck."

There was a short pause.

"I'll do it!" Rosetta shouted.

"No, no she won't," Riley said quickly, forcefully pushing Rosetta in the bleachers. Rosetta let out an irritated groan.

"Why not?!" She growled.

"Because we really do like having you alive," Riley replied.

Moving on!

The three friends Charity, Thomas, and Allister were kicked off in the remainder of the round. Charity would not allow someone else beat her up, Thomas wouldn't say something bad about everyone in the area (Laura was skeptical at this fact) and Allister would not prance around the stage in a cheerleader's outfit.

One by one the other campers were kicked off, until it was finally only Riley and John.

"Awesome! I will both ask a question, whoever answers it correctly first will win this challenge of _Me You and IQ!_

"Let's do this!" Riley said confidently, cracking his knuckles. John just blinked up at Chris with is wide blue eyes and awaited the final question.

"Here it is…" Chris said slowly. "What was the name of Lindsay's sister from last season? Quick, go, go, go!"

Riley was caught off by the actual plausible question. John however had resorted to shouting out the first names that came to his head.

"Debby! Manfred! Olga! Slagathor! Paula!" John paused, and then nodded. "Paula! It's totally Paula!"

"THE GOPHERS WIN!" Chris shouted loudly, startling everyone and throwing his papers into the air. The Bass plugged their ears while the Gophers cheered away. Congrats were given all to John, who gave a modest smile in return.

"Aw man," Doe sighed, leaning against Kevin's shoulder. "I thought we had it there." Kevin smiled, and wrapped an arm around her waist.

"Don't worry. I'm sure that we won't be kicked off."

"But then…who?" Doe sniffled. Kevin's looked towards Riley. Riley, seeing this, jumped off the stage, grabbed every Bass member in a five-yard radius, and sat them down.

"Alright," he said calmly, flicking his gaze to all the Bass. "I know I might've missed that last question, but if you're seriously going to kick me off despite the fact that I made it farther than _all_ of you…" he narrowed his eyes. "Then that's a load of crap."

"He has a point," Rosetta muttered. "Riley's probably smarter than all of us combined."

Riley's expression changed from serious to smug in a heartbeat.

"Why thank you!"

Rosetta scoffed.

"Don't get a swelled head there hotshot. I still think you're an idiot…personality wise. Point is, we need you while there are still teams."

"So, who are we kicking off?" Laura asked impatiently.

"I don't know," Thomas sighed. "This challenge was pretty stupid. It was just pure luck that the Gophers one."

"True that!" Alice giggled.

"WE HEARD THAT!" Came the unanimous cry from the Gopher team.

"WE DON'T CARE!" Came the reply from the Bass.

"Agh, this is getting tiresome," Ashlynn groaned. "I'm going to catch some z's. I'll catch you guys at the campfire."

However, on her way back, Ashlynn was stopped by both Doe and Effie.

"Ah," Doe giggled. "Our good friend Ashlynn! How you doin'?"

"I've never said a word to you guys since I was here…" Ashlynn said slowly, feeling very confused.

"Well, we're connected spiritually," Effie told her, nodding rapidly. Leti, who was also walking back to her cabin, saw this and snarled. She stomped over to the three girls, and pushed them away from each other.

"Enough's enough!" Leti exclaimed. "Stop bugging Raphael and Ashlynn!"

"What?!" Doe shouted. "We're not doing anything!"

"You're playing matchmaker," Leti shot back, throwing daggers and the young girl.

"What's the problem with that?" Effie complained. "We're just trying to help!"

"Let them make their own decisions! Let them go at their own pace!" Leti groaned, throwing her hands up at the air. "God, and I thought _I_ was pretty stupid!"

"Maybe you are!" Doe said angrily.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa, what's going on here?" Kevin interrupted, stepping protectively in front of Doe.

"I don't know!" Ashlynn cried, throwing her hands up in the air.

"Look, Raphael likes Ashlynn, Ashlynn likes Raphael! And, I'm talking _more_ then friends here! _Everyone_ knows that, except themselves! So, why shouldn't we tell them?" Effie asked Kevin.

"Because you don't need to rush things!" Leti snapped.

"Well, you don't need to be involved in things that don't concern you!" Doe snarled.

"Look who's talking," Kenny remarked, appearing next to Leti. "Don't be such a hypocrite."

"We are not big gray animals!" Effie whined.

"I said _hypocrite_, not hippopotamus!"

The fight went on like that for a while. In fact, the two versus two clash kept going, even when Ashlynn had slunk away, freaked out by all the shouting.

Meanwhile, Laura was fighting her own battle. She knew she was a primary target to be voted off, since she wasn't apparently _nice_ enough, so she had to find somehow, someway to stay on…

She grabbed her camera, and then grinned. Then, she knelt down to the bed underneath hers, and gently nudged Alice awake.

"Hm?" Alice mumbled, barely coherent.

"Hey!" Laura said cheerfully. "Remember that night when Rosetta and Riley fell asleep next to each other?"

"Yeah," Alice yawned. She sat upright on her bed, and smiled at Laura. "What about it?"

"Well, wouldn't it be super-cute to show everyone the pictures?" Laura asked. Her voice was sugar sweet.

Sadly, Alice fell for the bait.

"Oh, yeah! It totally would!" She squealed, taking the camera out of Laura's hands.

"I'll be right back!" Alice sang, running outside the door in order to show the others. When she had finished with her task, Rosetta and Riley weren't safe from the teasing anywhere. Riley wasn't bothered in the least—but Rosetta was pretty angry.

**Confession Cam: Played like a deck of cards…**

"I can't believer her!" Rosetta snarled. "Everywhere I go…people think that me…me and Riley…are a _thing_ now!" She bit her lip.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------

The Bass sat at the campfire, while Chris yet again taunted them with his plate of marshmallows.

"You guys need to score more wins than _this!_" Chris sighed, shaking his head. "You must honor the Bass name!"

"Just give us the marshmallows and let us go to bed," Allister retorted, rolling his eyes.

"Whatever. Ashlynn, Allister, Riley, Rosetta, Doe, Kevin, and Thomas are all safe." He eyed the two remaining contenders.

"Alice…and Laura. Who will be going home tonight? The final marshmallow goes to…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

Laura."

Laura punched her fist in the air and smirked, grabbing her marshmallow. Alice sighed, batting her eyelids helplessly.

"I guess I should've seen that coming," she murmured softly. Rosetta, seeing this, felt a pang of guilt. She walked over to the former alliance member and hugged her.

"Sorry Alice. We'll miss you," Rosetta sighed.

"Sorry for spreading your secret," Alice apologized, grinning wickedly.

"There is _no_ secret! It was just…coincidence! Bad luck!" Rosetta protested.

"Alright, alright," Alice chuckled. She patted Rosetta on the shoulder. "See you later!"

"ALICE! Wait up!" Riley and Leti's voice came in unison. Leti trailed far behind Riley, who was zooming much farther ahead.

"Please don't tell me there's some other conspiracy going on here," Ashlynn groaned. Riley laughed.

"No, just a farewell gift," he explained. "I ran back up here to grab these." Riley gestured to his feet, and Alice gasped.

"Roller skates!" She exclaimed.

"MY roller skates!" Laura objected. "You STOLE them from me!"

"Really?" Leti asked innocently. "That's too bad."

Riley tossed Laura's roller skates to Alice, who gave a huge smile and slipped them on. She then skated to the Dock of Shame and onto the Boat of Losers, waving to her former teammates.

"That was nice," Rosetta murmured to Riley.

"Who says I don't have a heart?" Riley chuckled.

"Just about anyone who's heard you speak," Rosetta replied, elbowing him mockingly.

"Oh, you know you like me," Riley snickered.

"In your dreams!" Rosetta growled.

"Alright, alright," Riley mused. "Let's call it a 'draw' and get some sleep, shall we?"

"Truce," Rosetta agreed, before finally going back to her cabins along with her other female Bass teammates.

-------------------------------------------------------------------

Kenny sat on the ledge of the Gopher cabin, unable and unwilling to fall asleep. He stared at the sky, contemplating everything that had happened today. He was also contemplating whether or not Doe and Effie would try to kill him in his sleep.

He was so lost in his own thoughts, he didn't even respond when Leti tapped him on the shoulder.

"Yo, Earth to Mr. Space-Off-Y?" She sniggered, spinning him around.

"Oh!" Kenny exclaimed, surprised. "Hi Leti. What's up?"

"Well…" Leti giggled. "I was wondering…if you wanted to play a prank on Doe and Effie, y'know, a little payback."

Kenny raised an eyebrow.

"What do you have in mind?"

"Dragging them into Chef's kitchen," Leti replied. "That should be a pleasant morning for when they wake up!" She laughed evilly.

"They'd never let you live it down," Kenny reminded her.

"Then I guess this is war!" Leti said firmly.

"War it is…" Kenny murmured, not sure what he was getting himself into.

**(A.N.) That was…an odd chapter. Lots of fights. The love triangle between Kenny-Leti-Hunter continues, although it appears Leti is favoring Kenny…I also wanted to dive deeper into Leti's personality, so that's why she, Doe, Effie, and Kenny were the focus of the chapter. Thanks for reading! If nothing else, I like this chapter for this line:**

**"I said **_**hypocrite**_**, not hippopotamus!"**

**Sorry I was so lazy when it came to the challenge…**


	11. Literally, Get a Clue

Rachel on the very edge of the Dock of Shame, looking particularly distressed.

"Um…" she started, smiling sheepishly. She was interrupted with a humongous crash in the background, and in the distance Doe and Effie were seen chasing Leti and Kenny. A few feet back, an angry Chef was chasing all four of them. Rachel cleared her throat to get the camera to focus back on her, and finally started her recap.

"Right. Uh…last time, on Total Drama Island…a big trivia thing started, which was made just to both annoy the crap out of us and make us terribly confused. Of course, it also involved insane stunts we were forced to do. Don't worry, all of us came out alive. Then this big fight came from Leti, Doe, Effie, and Kenny started, and pushed in the middle of it was the odd couple, Ashlynn and Raphael."

"NOT YOU TOO!" Leti shouted angrily to Rachel from the other end of the dock.

Rachel groaned.

"Okay, let me rephrase that…Ashlynn and Raphael, the," Rachel made air quotes with her fingers, "'just-friends-or-possibly-more' duo was pushed in the middle of the fight. So now, it's those on the matchmaker's side, those on the keep-it-natural side, and those, like me, who really just want to stay out of the whole thing."

"So, will this conflict ever be resolved? Will Rosetta find out that Laura was, in a way, responsible for Alice getting kicked off? And who…" Rachel raised an eyebrow as she read her cue-card. "Who will…_get a clue_?" Rachel rolled her eyes. "Are you serious? Who writes this crap?"

Elsewhere, the author realized she had just inadvertently insulted herself. Again.

"Okay, so, find out on the seemingly most dramatic campfire ceremony yet on Total…Drama…_Island!_"

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Doe, start over and slow down. I can't understand a word you're saying," Kevin pleaded as Doe stomped around the room looking angry yet unusually excited. Apparently she had just escaped from Chef and was now trying to tell Kevin the story, without the whole thing being one nonstop sentence.

"Well, Effie and I woke up in Chef's kitchen, which of course, was all like, creepy. So, we stand up, and look around—and we're still drowsy because well, it was morning! So, then we turn around and _there's Chef_! And he gives us his disturbing evil eye, and we're all still drowsy so we just stare at him, and then he punches a hole in the wall! That woke us up so we were running and running and he threw a frying pan at us but it missed and hit the window, so we go outside and there's Leti and Kenny laughing their freakin' heads off! So we chase them, and Chef was chasing us, and then I came in here, to tell you the story."

Kevin blinked, still feeling a bit confused.

"So…what now?" He asked. He _had_ caught up on the fact that Doe was angry at both Kenny and Leti. Doe laughed evilly.

"What now? We get them back, that's what!"

"I'm not sure if I like the sound of that," Kevin laughed nervously.

Doe rolled her eyes but gave Kevin a hug.

"Alright, alright. This'll be…a two on two fight to the finish!" Doe immediately ran out of the Bass boy cabin, muttering to herself unintelligible plans to pull of the ultimate prank.

"Note to self: Never make Doe mad," Kevin muttered, before climbing back into his bed.

---------------------------------------------------------------------

"This is ridiculous," Ashlynn sighed. She walked steadily towards the mess hall, a plan in her head to stop all the fighting. A pretty bizarre plan mind you, but a plan nonetheless.

She swung the doors open, eyeing the Gopher guys conversing in the distance. With a quick nervous swallow, she walked over to them. Kenny and Raphael were discussing a video game that Ashlynn had never heard of. Not waiting for them to finish their conversation, she tapped Raphael on the shoulder.

"Yes?" Raphael inquired politely.

"Can I talk to you?" Ashlynn asked hopefully. Raphael nodded. After seeing that Raphael wasn't moving, Ashlynn added "Alone?"

The other Gopher guys snickered, but Raphael ignored them and followed Ashlynn outside.

"This fight has gone on long enough," Ashlynn muttered as she and Raphael walked together throughout camp. "And we're the indirect cause of it."

"What are we supposed to do?" Raphael sighed. "All four of them are stubborn and unyielding. We couldn't get them to sit down and listen to rational thought even if we tried."

Ashlynn rubbed the back of her head sheepishly.

"Well, I kind of have a…plan." She mumbled.

"Do tell."

"What if we…um…pretended to be boyfriend and girlfriend? It's either that or ignore each other, which wouldn't be very fun. Then Leti and Kenny won't have much of a reason to fight anymore, and everything can go back to normal." She paused. "Well, as normal as Wawanakwa can get."

"Pretty good idea," Raphael admitted, a bit red at the word 'girlfriend'. "But what if Leti and Kenny think that we're only doing this because Doe and Effie are bugging us about it?"

"Does it look like we pay attention to what Doe and Effie say, ever?" Ashlynn snickered.

Raphael laughed.

"No. I guess not. Now," he linked arms with Ashlynn and grinned. "Um…shall we?"

"Let's," Ashlynn giggled, as they both walked away.

**Confession Cam: You have no idea how irritating this is for the spectators**

"So, Ashlynn is now my faux girlfriend," Raphael sighed. "If only…if only she knew how much I wanted that to be true." The camera then switched to Ashlynn.

"So, Raphael is now my fake boyfriend," She murmured, having no clue she was nearly word-for-word par on with Raphael. "He's so clueless. I do kinda wish it was true…"

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"No way," Charity whispered, her lips twisting in to a wide grin. "No way. Allister, you have to see this!" Allister looked up from the book he was reading and looked at what Charity was pointing at. There, in the distance, was Raphael and Ashlynn arm-in-arm, fingers interlocked.

"Leti's gonna be _mad_…" Rachel remarked from beside them. "They look pretty happy though. Nothing done against their will."

"Who knows?" Thomas laughed. "Effie and Doe are unstoppable forces of nature."

As if on cue, the Leti, Kenny, Doe, and Effie walked out. They all stopped mid-stride, and turned their heads towards the apparently quite happy 'couple'.

Leti, without saying a word, turned back from where she came. Kenny followed her. Effie and Doe squealed loudly in unison, and began walking towards Raphael and Ashlynn.

"Wait…" Charity frowned. "Who's that back behind Ashlynn and Raphael?"

Allister once again looked up. His eyes slowly widened, and he groaned. "Oh no…"

"Oh no?" Thomas repeated. He squinted towards the distance, and his jaw dropped.

"Is that…?" Rachel squeaked.

"IZZY!" Effie screamed in joy, seeing her sister behind the couple.

"Izzy?" Raphael and Ashlynn repeated in unison.

"Is there an echo in here?" Doe chuckled. She then stepped back, because Effie looked like she was about to charge. Indeed, the two sisters did crash into each other, taking Raphael with them. They laughed insanely, and Raphael slowly crawled away, stumbling around for his glasses.

"Effie! HI!" Izzy squealed. The sisters both high fived each other and began speaking rapidly in what was either a different language or regular words to fast for any normal ear to here.

"Are you today's co-host?" Effie asked hopefully. Izzy nodded.

"Owen is here too!" Izzy told her sister excitedly. "He's in the cafeteria with Chef! I bet Chef missed him! I mean, who wouldn't miss him! It's impossible to miss him as in not see him too, he is _so_ impossible not to see!"

"YAY! Owen is here! I haven't seen him in like, forever!"

"Oh joy," Laura remarked sarcastically, stepping out of her cabin. "This'll be a barrel of fun."

"I know, right?!" Effie squealed, not realizing Laura was trying to insult her and her sister.

"Is today's challenge starting soon?" Allister asked the clinically and certifiably insane red-head.

"Yup! In fact, Chef told me to tell you," Izzy put a gruff imitation of Chef's voice, "Get yo butts down to the mess hall! Time's a wastin'!"

"Did you design today's challenge Izzy?" Raphael asked.

"I sure did!" She replied cheerfully.

"Oh dear…"

---------------------------------------------------------------------

Kenny and Leti heard the shouts of people going to the mess hall, (they weren't _that_ far away) but Kenny waited for Leti to get up and walk with him.

"Are you okay?" He asked, mentally cursing himself for asking such an obvious question.

"I don't know," Leti sighed. "I just…don't really how Doe and Effie go about their business. They don't seem to like, _care_ about how people feel!"

"Ashlynn and Raphael seem pretty happy…"

"True," Leti admitted. "I guess it's not the couple idea I'm so angry about, but more like, just Doe and Effie's attitude."

"Too brash?" Kenny guessed.

"What's brash mean?" Leti asked, confused. Kenny chuckled.

"Impatient. Hasty." He explained. Leti nodded.

"Well…they're them, and we're us. It's alright if we don't get along that well."

"You should be a psychiatrist Kenny, you always know how to cheer me up," Leti laughed, before leaving with Kenny to go to the mess hall.

"That'll be a hundred bucks," Kenny chuckled.

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"Dude, save some food for us!" Hunter grumbled as Owen squished his way into the Gopher table, eating everything in sight. Sure, Hunter hated the food as much as the next guy, but rather this then go hungry.

"I can't help it!" Owen laughed. "It's just so…delicious!"

Besides them, John poked his sloppy Joe that jiggled with the touch.

"Delicious. Right. Is your brain on vacation?" John asked sarcastically.

"I don't think so…" Owen mumbled, patting his head as if checking to make sure.

"Ooh!" Izzy popped up from behind and jumped on Owen's shoulders. "Maybe aliens abducted your brain and are holding it hostage!"

"AAH!" Owen yelped. "Brain, I'll save you!"

"Aliens have _not_ abducted your brain Owen," Kenny assured the big teen.

"So, what's the challenge today?" Charity asked, hopeful to get some info.

"Nuh uh uh!" Izzy protested. "You must devour your food, young grasshopper, before you can devour the knowledge!"

Charity stared at Izzy in disbelief, before sighing and reluctantly picking up her creepy looking sandwich.

"Where are Chris and Chef?" Raphael asked. Fearing that Izzy might make the same order she did to Charity, he slid his sloppy Joe on the floor.

Izzy gave him no answer, and rather, began meditating on the middle of the table. In fact, right on the sloppy Joes.

Finally, after a long (and somewhat painful) meal, the movie star host and the crazed madman walked between the two doors.

"Campers! Both old and new! How's everyone doing?" Chris asked pleasantly.

"Like you actually care," Laura grumbled sourly.

"Well, that's true," Chris admitted. "But that's not the point. Who's ready for today's challenge?"

"We've been waiting all afternoon," Rosetta retorted.

"Jeez, you guys are snippy today!" Chris complained. "Anyways, follow me campers!"

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The sixteen contestants followed Chef, Chris, Izzy, and Owen to a large open field, the same one that they had used to play quidditch on.

"This isn't another sports challenge, is it?" Allister asked. Chris shook his head, and Raphael let out a sigh of relief.

**Confession Cam: Convenient conspiracies, guaranteed to cover up even the biggest of screw-ups**

"I was close enough to getting the boot on the quidditch challenge," Raphael sighed. "I don't want to go through _that_ again."

----------------------------------------------------------------

"Today's challenge is called, _Get a Clue_." Chris announced.

"That's a movie," Kenny pointed out.

"And a stupid name," Rachel remarked.

"Too bad!" Izzy shouted.

"Alright guys, here's how this game works," Owen piped. "You guys are gonna be in groups of two--"

"Again?" John questioned irritably.

"The next one with a sarcastic remark gets thrown into the fish cabin," Chef said maliciously. The campers gulped, and became quiet. Even Owen quivered.

"Yeah…um….you guys are gonna be in pairs, and you're going to be searching for golden marshmallows, which are totally awesome! Don't eat them though."

"How come?" Rachel asked.

Chris held up a paint bucket, with yellow paint on the inside.

"Ah," Rachel mused.

"And, there are two clues that will tell you where to go. You start out with a clue, which will lead you to another clue, which will lead you to the marshmallow! Then, you run back here, and give it to Chris!"

"But…" Izzy interrupted, grinning evilly. "Some of the clues are a little hard to find. I've been here since last afternoon, setting up traps! None of them will kill you…I think."

"Wait a minute; you've been here since last afternoon?" Charity asked, surprised. "None of us saw you!"

"Well, _I_ was here and I'm a master of disguise so of course you didn't see me! Duh! Owen just came here this afternoon, because he's loooooooud."

"Am not!" Owen whined.

"Yes, yes, you are," Izzy cackled. "And that's what I love about you," she then grinned, and tackled Owen in a hug. The campers were impressed. It took a lot to knock down Owen.

"Any questions?" Chris asked the campers.

"What're the pairings?" Riley asked, eyeing Rosetta with a grin. Chris cleared his throat, and in a very business-like manner, pulled out a list of names.

"Let's see here…Raphael and Kenny, John and Effie, Hunter and Leti, Charity and Rachel, Rosetta and Doe, Riley and Kevin, Allister and Ashlynn, and finally…Laura and Thomas!"

The campers moved around to get with their partners. As Rosetta passed Riley, she slipped something into his palm. Riley, surprised, opened it and looked at what she put there. It was a tiny Bluetooth. With a self-satisfied smirk, he slid it on his ear. Rosetta shot a glance at Riley, nodded, and mimicked his actions.

"Can't get enough of me?" Riley guessed after he quietly turned the Bluetooth on.

"Too much is more like it," Rosetta replied. "Two heads are better then one though, and you're not as big of a moron as I thought so if we work together…"

"Together we can do it!" Riley finished with a sarcastically preppy tone.

Rosetta rolled her eyes.

"Alright, everyone grab your clues, come on GRAB THEM! HURRY UP!" Izzy shouted. Frantically, the pairs rushed up to grab the small paper clues.

"On three, you guys can go ahead and try to find your next clue! Ready? One…two…three!"

"Go, go, and GO!" Izzy screamed.

Each pair instantly ran in all directions, quickly talking to each other about what their clues might mean.

"_This place is creepy, that's no surprise, but it is where your next clue lies_," Rachel read their clue aloud, jogging along side Charity. "Creepy…creepy…what's the creepiest place here?"

"The communal bathrooms?" Charity guessed. Rachel frowned.

"Nah. Disgusting, yes, creepy, not too much. What about the forest?"

Charity shook her head.

"That's way too big of an area. They'd narrow it down more. Come on, think! What's one place every camper is frightened to go?" The girls glanced at each other, and then grinned.

"Chef's kitchen." They said in unison, before laughing and running off.

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Allister and Ashlynn wandered through the forest, dreading what they knew their clue meant to have them do.

"_Growl and snarl, gotta move fast, finding this clue should be a blast_," Ashlynn read yet again, shaking her head with a sigh. "Bears. I hate bears."

"Well, this is lovely," Allister muttered. "Shall I do the honors?"

"I'd appreciate it," Ashlynn admitted with a weak smile. Allister sighed.

"Fine."

The pair walked in front of the bear's open cave. The loud snores of the beast erupted instantly, and the two of them flinched. They glanced at each other, and Ashlynn gestured for Allister to go on. Grumbling, Allister obliged.

He took a few steps forward and immediately regretted it.

His feet started to sink. Apparently, Izzy had somehow gotten Boney Island's quicksand over to here.

"Don't move!" Ashlynn ordered. "That'll only make it worse."

"How deep does this go?" Allister groaned. "And how did it even get here?"

"How am I supposed to know?" Ashlynn shot back.

"Looks like you'll have to go in the cave," Allister finally announced. "I'm certainly in no position to do so." Ashlynn grimaced, and slowly made her way over to the cave, avoiding the quicksand area. She got inside the cave, and searched around for the small paper clue. Seeing it inside the cave's corner, she jogged over and grabbed it triumphantly.

"Yes!" She proclaimed. Bad mistake. The noise woke the cranky bear up, which roared and slowly got up on its two back feet. Ashlynn screamed loudly, and made a dash for it outside the cave. Once outside, she grabbed a stick and shoved one end of it into Allister's hands. She then pulled as hard as she could, and Allister eventually resurfaced. The bear lumbered its way outward.

Both of them screaming in unusually high-pitched tones, they then ran as fast as they could into the distance.

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Hunter and Leti strolled on the opposite side of the forest.

_"With some good luck you will find the clue that'll probably boggle your mind,"_ Leti sighed, having read her clue a million times. "It's _this_ clue that's boggling my mind. Good luck…how the heck does that relate to a place?"

Hunter didn't answer, having a lot of things on his mind. The two walked in silence, before Hunter finally spoke up.

"Leti…why are you hanging out with Kenny all the time now?" He asked. Leti was surprised by the question.

"I don't know… I really like him, he's cool," she mumbled.

"Do you like him more then you like me?" Hunter asked, trying to hint on what he wanted to hear. Leti's mouth silently went into an 'o'.

"I…" she whispered, shaking her head and trying to start again. "I um…Hunter…I don't think I like you like that anymore…" she said hoarsely.

Hunter dropped his gaze. The two of them yet let out a startled cry, since a pitfall just opened right underneath their feet. They fell to the bottom, both on their faces. Leti would've laughed if the situation wasn't so serious. She gazed up from where she sat. The hole leading to the top seemed way out of their reach. She then shifted her gaze to Hunter, who was staring at his feet.

She finally realized she was going to have to stay with the teen that she just rejected on international TV for possibly hours. Blinking back tears, she stared at her own feet as well.

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Thomas and Laura—polar opposites at the very least, were not getting along but at least where their clue lead them.

_"One, two, three, four, what do you think we're doing this for? Five, six, seven, eight, cynics here show tons of hate,"_ was what the clue read. The two teens couldn't commend them for their poetry skills, but at least they knew where the clue was leading them.

The dodge ball gym. AKA, the cynic Noah's place-to-not-be.

They made their way to the gym, and slowly went outside.

"Hey, what's that noise?" Thomas questioned. Laura frowned, hearing the creaking sound as well was not good for her nerves. Both of them looked up, and let out sharp cries, darting everywhere they could.

Thousands of dodge balls fell from the ceiling, hitting the two on the head over and over again. Neither of them had the sense to just step outside before the rain was over. When it was finally over, both of them stumbled around like drunks.

Thomas grinned as he held out a sheet of white paper he found lying on the ground.

"At least we found the clue," he chirped.

"Ugh!" Laura shot back. "And we got hit on the head a million times with it! This challenge sucks!"

"I think it is fun!" Thomas sang.

"I think you're an idiot!" Laura mimicked.

"Well, people have their opinions," Thomas said untroubled, as he made his way outside of the gym.

"What is his problem?" Laura mouthed to the camera, before rolling her eyes and trailing behind him.

-------------------------------------------------------------------

"Effie! Where the hell are we going?!" John cried. Effie was dragging him by the collar, and due to the fact that Effie was practically ten times as fast for him, the process was equivalent to John being choked half to death while having his face down in the mud.

"Izzy made these clues!" Effie chirped back. "And we have sisterly thinking bonds and stuff so I know what I'm doing and there will be no questions asked!" John had to admit that was a good thinking…sort of…but the whole dragging process was aggravating.

"Can I walk? Please?" John begged.

"No time!" Effie shouted.

John groaned.

Their clue read: _Going under sky high, pray and pray that you don't die!_ John thought the whole thing was just a little too creepy, but Effie seemed to know instantly what she was doing.

John closed his eyes and pretended to be in a happy place.

The duo reached the thousand foot cliff, and John let out an "ah" of realization. Going under water from the sky high cliff…don't die from the sharks…got it.

"And bingo was the clue-o!" Effie squealed, pointing towards a baton that had their clue on it like a flag. It was precariously on the very edge of the cliff. John gulped as a sharp wind blew, and just as he feared…

The flag went tumbling down the cliff.

"_I've already gone through this once! Now I have to go through it with Effie?!"_ John yelled inwardly. Effie began wrapping John's arms around herself.

"What are you doing…?" John asked, a little creeped out.

Effie did not answer, but rather took of running towards the cliff. They were already off the ground before John had time to realize what she wanted to do. He did however have the time to scream like a girl, something that seemed to happen a lot with these campers of ours.

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"So, Riley? Do you have a clue what it means? And that was in no way supposed to be a reference to the challenge," Rosetta muttered quietly. Doe didn't seem to notice Rosetta's secret conversation, for which Rosetta was glad. She didn't want anyone else to know who she was speaking to.

"_I sure do, Kitten. But it will cost ya." _Came the arrogant reply.

"What?!" Rosetta snarled angrily, quickly remembering she was supposed to lower her voice. "Never mind, I don't need your help. It looks like Doe just found what we're looking for."

Doe, up ahead, did in fact find what they were looking for.

"Awesome!" Doe squealed. "Hey Rose, come look at this!" She pointed towards their second clue. It seemed to be stuck in the remnants of the bird cage Effie destroyed three challenges ago.

"_Sisterly love is ready to go! Nothing much here, except the clue, as you know,"_ Doe recited, fingering the team's first clue. "Yay! Looks like we got it correct!"

"Sisterly love," Rosetta repeated. "So anything to do with Effie. Good guess with the cage there, Doe." Doe beamed at the complement.

"Thanks!" Doe then began climbing the tree. When she reached the top, she attempted to reach the clue that was dangling from the cage a ways down from the branch. She reached and reached, but was having a rather comically hard time getting it.

_"Darn. You got it, huh? I was hoping to get a kiss out of that one,"_ Riley sighed. Rosetta fumed.

"God, you are such an idiot!" She shouted. Doe, hearing this, thought the insult was directed towards her.

"I'm _trying!_" She sobbed, still attempting to reach the clue.

------------------------------------------------------------

Kevin, unfortunately, was a little more observant when it came to Riley's secret conversation.

"Riley, who are you talking to?" Kevin asked suspiciously. He heard something about wanting to get a kiss, so he sure _hoped_ Riley wasn't talking to him.

"Rosetta," Riley answered instantly. Kevin blinked slowly, unaware of the Bluetooth in Riley's ear.

"Rosetta isn't here, Riley," Kevin reminded him. Riley raised an eyebrow tauntingly.

"Is she Kevin? Is she?"

Kevin glanced around quickly, feeling a bit concerned for his sanity.

The two wandered a bit aimlessly through the forest. Riley wasn't much help, due to his preoccupation with his conversation. **(A.N. More rhyming! Gah!)**

Oddly enough, the two soon saw Rosetta and Doe in the distance. They chuckled as they saw Doe reaching for the clue helplessly, with Rosetta watching amusedly from below. Finally, Doe _did_ grab the clue. She nearly fell off the branch in the process though, and while she fell, she grabbed on to the remnants of the bird cage to keep herself held up. The rope connecting the bird cage sunk a few feet. Riley, a bit knowledgeable about mechanics, instantly knew what trap that could lead too.

Praying that his guess was incorrect, he quickly shifted his gaze to the left of Rosetta. Sure enough, the rope that connected the bird cage to the branch and triggered a mechanism connected by a series of ropes. Riley heard a quiet _snap_, and before he knew it, he saw a gigantic boulder heading towards Rosetta in a matter of seconds. To top it all off…Rosetta didn't even seem to notice her impending doom. Riley paled.

"Look out!" He shouted, sprinting towards his crush. He slammed into her, pinning her against a different tree and barely getting her out of the way in time. Rosetta was about to snap at him, but then she realized exactly why Riley had just rammed into her. Her eyes widened considerably.

"So," Riley chuckled, his arrogant side returning. "Does _that_ earn me a kiss?" Rosetta was shaken out of her trance by his voice. Blinking slowly, Riley could've sworn she smiled at him. Then, not waiting for an answer, Riley leaned down and kissed her.

Not wanting to be outdone, Doe started making out with Kevin. Not that Kevin was complaining.

---------------------------------------------------------------------

Meanwhile, Kenny and Raphael walked around camp, both contemplating their clue's meaning: _Don't look down or you might pale, hurry up before you fail!_

"Could they be talking about the cliff?" Kenny suggested. Raphael shook his head.

"No. I just saw Effie and John diving head-first to get their clue at the cliff."

"Really?" Kenny raised an eyebrow. "How'd Effie get John to agree to that?" Raphael raised an eyebrow in return.

"You think Effie _asks_ people for their consent?"

"Touché, my friend," Kenny remarked. "Did she really get you and Ashlynn together?"

"No, that was by our choice alone," Raphael lied. Well, since they really weren't _together_…He had to keep the lie, even around Kenny. No way did he want a single chance for it to slip to Doe or Effie.

"How about you and Leti?" Raphael spoke up again, trying to direct the subject away from him.

"We're um, not dating, if that's what you're thinking…" Kenny mumbled, looking around distractedly.

"Really? She seems to like you a lot," Raphael complemented.

"I think Hunter likes her," Kenny replied.

"But does she like him back?" Raphael wondered.

"She used to, I know…but I'm not too sure anymore…" Kenny murmured. Falling silent, the two looked around to where they had wandered. They had ended up in the middle of the forest somehow, and as they looked around bewilderedly, Raphael jogged towards something in the distance. Kenny followed.

"Wow," Kenny mouthed. In front of the boys was a large rift in the ground, going out for only about the length of a coffin and the width of a couch, but going so deep that the boys could barely see the ground at the bottom. Raphael knelt on the ground and adjusted his glasses. There sticking out of the ground was their next clue, connected to a tiny flagpole and waving in the wind almost mockingly from deep down under.

"Oh my," Raphael remarked. "That's not good."

**(A.N.) Because I was so very lazy with my last challenge, you guys get two clue-finding marshmallow-searching chapter goodness. XD Much apologies to heyyou62 for having Hunter get rejected there, but he will not end up friend-less or lonely, so no worries. ;)**

**So, who will be voted off? Stay tuned for part two! **

**(And yes, I know that I have no poetry skills whatsoever—so no need to tell me so.)**


	12. Overkill

**(Warning: I wrote this chapter while listening to Weird Al's "Virus Alert" repeatedly and drinking lots of Gatorade, so if this chapter seems odd that would be why.)**

Charity and Rachel slunk around the corner of the mess hall, eyes darting furiously. They crept up to the back door, and Charity put two fingers up to her mouth, shushing Rachel. Slowly, the former pushed the door open. That was meant to be a quiet act, but the motion produced a particularly upsetting screech that made the two girls shudder. With a quick sigh, the both tiptoed into the door that led straight into Chef's kitchen.

"Where do you think the clue is hidden?" Rachel asked softly, treading as quietly as she could over the loose boards.

"Could be anywhere," Charity grumbled. She shifted through a drawer that held a clutter of pots and pans, but returned out of the drawer empty handed. She then shifted her gaze around the seemingly empty (person wise, that is) kitchen.

"This seems too easy…" Rachel muttered, glancing over her shoulder to make sure there really Chef wasn't about to pop up behind her. In front of her, Charity was sorting towards the fridge. "What are you doing?!"

Charity turned around, her mouth stuffed with brownies. "You wouldn't believe the kind of good food Chef hides!" Her words came out as a muddled jumble, due to her food in her mouth. Rachel rolled her eyes. Charity, in what was supposed to be a sneaky manner, pulled out the plate of brownies. Rachel let out a cry as she saw about ten frying pans drop down from the ceiling as soon as Charity had picked the plate up.

Rachel sprinted over to where Charity was crouched, and quickly pushed her out of the way. The frying pans landed, and Rachel desperately tried to catch them, in order to avoid the loud noises they were sure to make. She caught three in each hand, and one landed on her head like a hat. She tucked two under her arms, and the last just clunked her in the face.

"Sorry about that…" Charity said sheepishly.

"Not a problem," Rachel sighed. She pulled the frying pan off her face, and then blinked rapidly. She still felt woozy.

"What was that, anyways?" Charity rambled. "Some sort of cheesy Indiana Jones rip off?"

"Either that, or Chef is really touchy over protecting his brownies," Rachel laughed. She stood up, and whipped her head around, trying to make sure no one had come running. Both of them let out a sigh of relief when they saw they were safe…for now.

"Hey, what's this?" Charity wondered as she saw a big red button on the wall that said in big letters, **PUSH ME!**

"DON'T PUSH IT!" Rachel screamed, but it was too late. Charity pushed the obvious trap button, and the two girls were completely catapulted out of the kitchen. They went flying towards the roof, and landed in the closest lake. Then, they hightailed it out of there as fast as they could, because the nearest lake was the one filled with man-eating sharks.

So. How's _that_ for a nice and peaceful opening to a chapter?

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"I hate this challenge. I hate this show. I hate my life."

"Oh, stop being such a crybaby!"

Allister and Ashlynn were up for round two of their marshmallow hunting adventure. Allister was not too excited. Their clue had led them to Boney Island, right into another cave…this time, into the cave of the wooly beavers. Since Ashlynn did the last one, it was Allister's turn. No matter how reluctant he may be.

Muttering curses to himself, he slipped in. The cave was dark and damp. He fumbled around for a flashlight, and flicked it on. He waved it on, and ended up shining it right into the eyes of a coven of wooly beavers. If that wasn't bad enough, their final clue was tied around one of the wooly beaver's neck. One of the wooly beavers stretched and yawned, and then upon seeing Allister it snarled loudly.

"Aw, crap."

The wooly beaver charged towards the unfortunate teenager, and he ran outside, screaming for Ashlynn that the clue was around the wooly beaver's neck.

"Which one?!" She yelled, as Allister and the wooly beaver ran around in circles up ahead of her.

"The one that's CHASING me!" He shouted back.

Ashlynn sprinted until she was right behind the beaver. Then, she pulled out a stick she had grabbed and whapped it on the head multiple times. The wooly beaver groaned, and then fell to the ground asleep. Gently, Ashlynn pulled the clue off its neck.

_The mighty will fall, no matter how mean! Where this marshmallow is, isn't somewhere unseen!_

"Mean? That's either Laura or Heather. Which season are they talking about here?" Ashlynn wondered.

"Izzy set these up, so that would probably be Heather. And where did she 'fall'? That would be…the stage. Right where she got her hair shaved."

"Well, let's go!" Ashlynn shouted, grabbing Allister by the collar and throwing him into the canoe that they had paddled in to get there. "We've got a challenge to win!"

"If the challenge doesn't kill us first…" Allister muttered, but he smiled slightly.

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John let out one full-fledged scream of terror as he and Effie dropped down from the cliff in what seemed to be a futile attempt to grab their clue. They dropped closer and closer…but the clue dropped in the water just out of reach.

It was like all time froze. They were just seconds away from impacting painfully on the water below. Then, they did, and the freezing cold water enveloped them both.

Effie was the first to pop her head up.

"That was fun!" She chirped. "Let's go again!"

John then pushed up his own head, obviously disgruntled.

"No, Effie! Are you insane?!"

Effie pretended to think about it.

"Um…yup! Probably!"

John face palmed himself and scowled.

"It's a wonder why Raphael and Ashlynn ever listened to you in the first place…" he muttered, as he quickly swam towards the shore.

"Because!" Effie whined, as she turned all Bambi-eyes on the increasingly irritable teen. "They were…_meant to be!_"

John appraised her with a raised eyebrow.

"Touching. Really."

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Thomas and Laura walked around the Arts & Craft center, (or Arts and Crap, from Duncan's point of view) investigating the area for their next clue. Laura, in an attempt to damper the optimist's mood, went a bit too far when she started insulting Rachel.

"Like anyone could like _her_," she remarked, glancing at her nails absentmindedly. "What, with that stringy hair and that stick-thin body…I bet she has the same amount of brain cells as a _fly_!"

"Laura, please stop talking like that," Thomas mumbled as he inspected several bike parts from his and Kenny's previous bike challenge. So far no clue.

"What, am I _bothering_ you? Is it the fact that I'm insulting that shrew girlfriend of yours?"

Thomas tried to ignore her, but he couldn't help but notice how Laura was standing right on top of a hill…

After a few more rounds of insults, Thomas stood up and casually pushed Laura, sending her tumbling off the hill. Laura screamed insults at him as she fell. There was no way she'd help him with the clue anymore, which was bad, because despite her annoyingness—she was actually very useful.

"That felt good," Thomas remarked. He walked back to his cabin, whistling all the way.

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Rosetta was a bit speechless after Riley kissed her. Wordlessly, she grabbed Doe's arm and dragged her away to wherever their next clue might lead.

"She likes you," Kevin said plainly, after the two left.

"Totally," Riley agreed, looking rather pleased with himself. Neither of them moved around for a long time.

"Are we going to actually look for the next clue?" Kevin asked.

"Eh," Riley shrugged. "Do we have to?"

"That's kind of the point of the challenge," Kevin reminded him.

"I'm in a good mood though. Why spoil it with life threatening stunts that'll get us a frickin' marshmallow?" Riley asked as he casually plopped down at the base of a tree.

"Why indeed," Kevin sighed, plopping down beside him. "So…when do you think Rosetta will finally admit that she actually likes you?"

"I think it might need to be pushed out of her," Riley smirked. "I can be a _very_ persuasive person though." He tapped his goggle headband a few times before asking Kevin, "How did you and Doe admit to liking each other?"

"Doe isn't really the one to hide anything…ever…" Kevin chuckled.

"True," Riley hummed. "Why is Rosetta so embarrassed about the whole thing?"

"Because you're a smug smartass Riley," Kevin remarked. "But you obviously care about her. So just talk to her about it."

"Easy," Riley said. "But will she listen?"

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"So…how was it?" Doe asked excitedly, clinging onto Rosetta's arm in a hopeful attempt for gossip.

"How was what?" Rosetta mumbled, sounding half-asleep.

"The kiss, silly!"

"…what kiss?" Rosetta asked.

"You kissed Riley, duh! Or did Riley kiss you?" Doe giggled. Finally, Rosetta finally realized what had just happened in the past ten minutes.

"Oh my God!" She shouted. "Riley kissed me!"

"But he saved your life!" Doe pointed out.

"I would've rather taken the rock!" Rosetta groaned. "He's never gonna let me live it down!"

"The kiss, or the saving-your-life thing?"

"Both!" Rosetta exclaimed. She shook her head violently. "That's not the point though. Where does this next clue lead us?"

_Better stick close and don't bluff, share your clothes, still be tough!_

"That…is a really suck-ish clue," Doe complained.

"You got that right," Rosetta agreed as she swiped the clue out of Doe's hands. "Sharing clothes…sticking close…could that be…"

"The cabins!" Doe interrupted excitedly. "But which ones?"

They both stared at the clue, hoping it might give them some answers. That is, if clues could talk. Er…anyways…

"Look at the beginning letter of every third word!" Rosetta ordered. "It spells, B…A…S…S…"

"Are they talking about the girls' cabin or the boys' cabin?" Doe asked. Rosetta shrugged.

"There are two of us. I'll take the boys, you take the girls."

"OK!" Doe chirped cheerfully.

The both went their separate way. Rosetta tried to avoid all the messy clothes strewn across the boys' floor, while Doe searched through all the familiar nooks and crannies through her cabin.

In the boys' cabin, Rosetta was checking around the closet. However, she didn't hear the sinister laughter creeping up behind her, that is…until a certain insane red-head shut the closet door on her and jammed it shut. Rosetta screamed profanities, and banged on the closet door. No use.

Meanwhile, just as Doe thought she had the clue, she tripped and dropped it. Izzy ran up, grabbed the clue, grinned, and ran away.

"You can't do that!" Doe cried out.

"Watch me!" Izzy howled, as she ran out of the door with the team's clue still in hand.

**Confession Cam: By request, let's give a round of applause for…**

Doe sighed.

"Okay. So today wasn't really my challenge…but just wait! I bet when Duncan and Courtney come, I will seriously KABLAM all these other campers away!" She laughed evilly. "Courtney can't think of something that'll get the better of me! And Duncan…he thinks he can beat me in an arm-wrestling match, but once he gets his butt here, he'll be going down like a sweet muffin!" **(A.N. I know, I know, going "Down like a sweet muffin" isn't exactly a typical teenage phrase, but my brother says that a lot and it cracks me up for whatever odd reason.)**

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Doe walked out of the cabin glumly.

"Hey…where's Rosetta?" She wondered. The camera quickly cut to Rosetta, who was still banging on the closet door and screaming curses like a madwoman.

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Raphael and Kenny dangled their feet from the opening of the somewhat spooky deep hole.

"So…got a plan?" Kenny questioned. Raphael rubbed the back of his head and sighed.

"Yes, but it involves a rope or a vine, a good throwing arm, a heck of a lot of patience, and possibly a musical number." He replied. Kenny chuckled slightly at the last part of the list.

"So, your brilliant plan is—and I'm just guessing here—I maneuver you down to the bottom of the hole while you hang on to a rope."

"Or a vine," Raphael interrupted. Kenny laughed.

"Or a vine. Then, if I can't quite lift you back up, you throw the clue up here, and I just leave you there."

Raphael nodded.

"That sounds about right." He said, smiling.

"Well, let's do this!" Kenny exclaimed, as he ran out of sight to grab a rope. Or a vine.

He returned with a long thick vine, and eyed Raphael.

"You sure you know what you're doing?"

"Actually, I don't have much of a clue," Raphael remarked.

"Close enough," Kenny snickered, as he shoved one end of the vine into Raphael's awaiting hands. Then, they both edged to the big hole, and Kenny slowly began lowering Raphael.

Raphael dropped his grip on the vine once he had been lowered into safe jumping distance. He plucked the flag out of the ground and then began grabbing on the vine yet again.

Kenny struggled to pull him up. He got him about three quarters of the way there, when he shouted—

"Can you climb back up from there? I really don't think I can—_ack_!—hold it anymore!"

Raphael grimaced. He wasn't quite in reaching distance of the top yet.

"I'll just throw it to you, okay?" Raphael told him.

"Well, you might want to hurry. I think I'm about to drop any second," Kenny sighed.

So, Raphael mustered up all the strength he had, and tossed the flag. It went up a few pathetic inches before coming back down.

"You throw like a girl!" Kenny groaned.

"Just lower me again!" Raphael ordered. Kenny did as he was told and Raphael once again grabbed the flag. Kenny hoisted him up, and stretched his hand down as far as he could without actually falling into the pit. Raphael threw the flag up, and Kenny caught it.

"Phew," he breathed. "You okay down there?"

"For now," Raphael sighed. "Get that marshmallow, okay?"

"I'll try," Kenny mumbled, as he ran off.

"Do or do not, there is no try," Raphael chuckled in a silly Yoda impersonation. He then rolled his eyes at himself. "Man, I really need to stop watching those Star Wars movies."

---------------------------------------------------------------

Chris sat on the beach casually, awaiting whomever it may be that arrived there first. He then squinted, for at the left he saw Kenny, and towards the right he saw Allister and Ashlynn. All three of them were running towards him at the same time, a bright golden marshmallow held up to the sky.

And…they weren't slowing down.

"AGH!" The three teens crashed into Chris, sending him flying out of his beach chair. Ashlynn shoved the marshmallow into Chris's mouth, which he immediately spat out, rubbing his tongue due to the bad taste of paint.

"Blech…alright…Ashlynn and Allister take the win for the Bass!" He shouted, still rubbing his tongue gingerly.

"YES!" The two winners high-fived each other.

Kenny groaned. "Well…Raphael is still stuck in that hole. Is Chef going around freeing the trapped campers?"

"Yup!" Chris nodded. "The stuck ones are Raphael, Hunter and Leti, and Rosetta. Chef will get around to that…eventually."

"Eventually?" Ashlynn and Allister echoed angrily.

"Would _you_ rather be the ones to do it?"

"Er…Chef can take his time," Ashlynn said hurriedly.

"That's what I thought."

----------------------------------------------------------

Riley walked into the Gopher cabin, and plopped himself down onto his bunk with a sigh. He closed his eyes, and then jumped when he heard a sigh echoing his.

"…Rosetta…?" Riley asked, looking around for the familiar sound.

"Riley?" Rosetta mumbled. She then began banging on the closet.

"What're you doing in the closet?" Riley wondered.

"I just love these hangers so much," she said sarcastically. "Let me out of here!"

Riley put his back to the closet.

"No."

"What?!" Rosetta shouted angrily. "Why not?"

"Because I need to talk to you," Riley replied. "This is going to sound oh-so cliché—but I like you, and you know you like me, so why do you act like you hate me so much?"

"Because you're an egotistical, smug, annoying--"

"Been there, heard it," Riley yawned. "But I helped you with your fear, and I saved your frickin' life. Don't you think I can be a nice guy?"

"Bite me," Rosetta grunted. "You're a pain in the ass!" Her tone softened. "But…how can anyone _not_ like that about you? You make me laugh, at the very least."

"Bada-bing!" Riley hummed.

"What a riot," Rosetta remarked. Riley could tell she was rolling her eyes, even though he couldn't see her.

"So…are we…friends?" Rosetta asked.

"Well, I just kissed you—and unless I'm wrong you seemed to enjoy it—so why can't we be a bit more than that?"

"I don't…see why not," Rosetta murmured. "But how on Earth could I have fallen for someone as conceited as you?"

"And how could I have the biggest crush on the world's most stubborn female? Don't question the forces of nature Kitten," Riley chuckled. He then turned around, and unlatched the closet door. Rosetta stepped out, and smiled at him. She then wrapped her arms and whispered one last thing—

"Ever keep me in a closet for that long again, and I'll kick your ass."

"I love you too."

-------------------------------------------------------------------------

Hunter and Leti had been sitting in silence for nearly two hours now. Leti had, at several points, tried to speak, but nothing came out. She felt embarrassed and saddened at the same time.

"Hunter I…I…--"

"MAGGOTS! HOLD ON!" Chef's voice interrupted them as he stuck a ladder down for the campers to climb up. Sighing, Leti turned around and climbed up the ladder while Hunter trailed behind her.

On top ground, Raphael stood behind Chef.

"The light…it's so blinding…" Raphael muttered, for he had just spent nearly two hours stuck in the bottom of a dark hole. Hunter and Leti had similar reactions.

"Great job screw-ups! Your teammates LOST because of you!" Chef shouted. Hunter's eyes flickered at the word 'lost', and he slunk away towards the Confession Cam.

**Confession Cam: Someone needs a huuuuuuuug!**

"I don't want to stay here much anymore," Hunter mumbled, closing his eyes and rocking back and forth. "I feel like an idiot. Maybe…." His facial features sparked with an idea. "That's it…"

------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Gophers! Here I have on my plate, not one, not two, but seven marshmallows! For those who don't get one, they will…"

"Walk the Dock of Shame," Hunter interrupted dully.

"And board the Boat of Losers," Rachel chimed in.

"And never come back!" Kenny shouted.

"EVER!" Effie agreed.

"What they said!" Izzy, to the side of Chris, said quickly.

"Ha! Chris you, need some new lines!" Owen chortled.

"Whatever dudes," Chris grumbled. "Here…we…go. Rachel. Kenny. Raphael. Leti. Effie. John." The last two remaining campers were Charity and Hunter.

"Campers! The final marshmallow goes to…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

Charity."

Breathing a sigh of relief—Charity went up and grabbed her marshmallow.

"What?" Leti exclaimed in disbelief. "Why was Hunter voted off? Charity fell for the biggest and most obvious trap in the history of traps! No offense Charity."

"None taken!" Charity laughed, popping her marshmallow into her mouth.

"I told them to vote for me," Hunter responded, still sitting in front of the campfire.

"Just because of what happened today?" Leti cried. "Hunter, I didn't mean I didn't want to be friends with you!"

"Well, why did you lead me on like that in the first place?"

"She wasn't 'leading you on'!" Kenny interrupted. "Haven't you noticed how horrible she feels about the whole thing?"

"Yeah! That wasn't nice, Hunter!" Leti sniffled.

Hunter sighed.

"If I said I'm sorry, would you believe me?"

"If you said it and meant it!" Leti said quickly. Hunter smiled.

"Leti…Kenny…I'm very sorry."

Leti knocked over Hunter in a tackle of a hug.

"That's okay! We'll really, really, miss you!"

A few minutes later, Hunter was walking the Dock of Shame.

"See you dude," he remarked, fist bumping Kenny. "Have some good times with Leti. Er…that wasn't supposed to be innuendo, sorry."

"No problem," Kenny smiled. "See you, dude."

Hunter hugged Leti, and then stepped on the Dock of Shame, waving towards his former teammates.

"Well, looks like we've got to go too!" Owen laughed, as he walked down the Dock of Shame, (nearly breaking it!), and boarded a different boat. Izzy just hugged her sister tightly, then jumped into the lake and began swimming to God knows where.

"YOU'LL NEVER GET ME ALIVE!" She shouted as she swam out of sight.

"Merry Christmas to all, and to all a goodnight," John remarked sarcastically.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

**Later at Dinner:**

"I miss Izzy already!" Effie whined, as she slipped into her seat.

"Well I don't," John grumbled. "That girl is nothing but trouble."

"Well behaved girls rarely make history!" Doe called out from the other side of the room, laughing loudly. She and Kevin high-fived each other.

"I can't believe Hunter practically voted himself off," Rachel sighed, as she slipped into her own seat as well. Thomas just then walked through the doors. He glanced towards Laura, and then walked over to Rachel. Then, for everyone to see, he kissed Rachel.

The crowd aww-ed.

Smugly, Thomas walked down to his own seat. Riley elbowed Rosetta playfully, and grinning, Rosetta elbowed him back—albeit with a bit of extra force, but also grinning.

"It really is too easy," Laura remarked as she played with her fork. "Too get people to vote off who you want. For Hunter it was no problem since he was doing it to himself, but really—it's unbelievable how easy it is to manipulate people! Like that idiot Alice, for example."

Rosetta looked up from her food.

"Like…Alice?" She repeated, each word said through clenched teeth. "It was you! YOU gave her the pictures! YOU set her up!"

Laura smirked.

"So what if I did?"

Rosetta snarled, and threw her fork towards Laura's head. Laura ducked out of the way, and the fork very nearly hit a quite distraught Raphael.

"I can't believe you!" She hissed.

"Oh don't worry sweetie, you're next," Laura assured her mockingly. With another snarl, Rosetta ripped an entire chunk of the table and chucked it towards Laura who ducked, and the object once again nearly hit Raphael. Then, without another word, Rosetta stomped out of the room.

"Aren't you going to follow her?" Allister questioned Riley.

"Nah man, sometimes can just tell when she needs her alone time," Riley replied.

"You know what? I think you'll be really good for Rosetta," Doe said, grinning.

Riley smirked.

"I think I will be too."

**(A.N.) Well, shorter chapter then usual, but oh well. There's a new poll I have up, so check it out when you get the chance!**

**Apologies to heyyou62…again. Anyways, two more (official!) hookups and another challenge/day/thing is at an end. ^.^**

**I wanna give two shout outs really quick…**

**One: MAJOR thanks to ****Black Wolf Jaganshi Lover**** for being my 100****th**** reviewer! That's the most any of my stories has ever gotten!**

**Two: Thanks to all you OTHER reviewers, because you reviews make me happy and whatnot, and you guys give me the incentive to keep going!**

**Yeah, I'm in a really good mood. Why shouldn't I be? I'm on Christmas break!**

**So, have a Merry Christmas, or a Happy Hanukah, or a Happy Kwanzaa, or whatever you celebrate. I don't wanna be politically incorrect, dang it.**

**Ah, what the heck.**

**Happy Holidays!!!**


	13. Is This Some Kind of Sick Joke?

Slowly, the camera zoomed into an unusually twitchy Raphael.

"H-h-h-hi…" he stammered, his hands shaking. "Um…last time on T-t-total Drama Island, Izzy and Owen came to start a scavenger hunt. Usually, that wouldn't-t-t-to bad, but there were booby traps e-e-everywhere. Eventually, it was Ashlynn and A-A-Allister who scored the win. Hunter, due to a b-b-broken heart voted himself off. However, he made up with L-L-Leti and K-K-Kenny right as he left. So…the reason I'm a l-l-little jumpy today--"

"A _little_ jumpy?" Laura called out off-screen.

"Okay, _really_ jumpy is because well…you see, something happened this morning that I'm n-n-not supposed to tell you about, because apparently the actual show is going to start from last night, instead of right after this i-i-intro. Um…anyways…keep watching this episode of Total! Drama! _Island_!"

Raphael, thinking that the camera was off muttered to himself—"I can't believe they're actually still airing the episode today. This better not be one of C-C-Chris's twisted challenges again."

Ooh, drama. Perfect.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------

**Last Night, 12:48 p.m.:**

Camp Wawanakwa was peaceful—that is, when ludicrous challenges weren't at its wake, or another ridiculous fight was going on. Since one of those two happened almost every day…well, at least night was calm.

Tonight however—the campers were restless. Maybe it was the adrenaline inducing challenge they had just performed, or maybe it was the mountain of unhealthy food Charity stole from Chef's refrigerator that she had shared with the others, but either way no one was getting any rest it seemed.

Ashlynn in particular, could not stop tossing and turning. After several unsuccessful attempts to just close her eyes and fall asleep, she sighed, staring at the ceiling from her top bunk.

"Is anyone else awake?" She whispered, not bothering to look down and check.

"I _was_ awake," Laura grumbled. Ashlynn could hear her feet as she threw them down on the floor.

"Oh give it a rest. Like one little whisper would upset your much-needed beauty sleep," Rosetta snapped, obviously still mad over Laura's unapologetic behavior over Alice.

"I'm awake too!" Doe whispered excitedly. "What should we do know?"

"We should go back to sleep," Laura grumbled as she buried her head underneath her pillow.

"Does anyone want to see if the other cabins are awake?" Ashlynn inquired.

"I'm too lazy," Rosetta yawned.

"And I'm too uncaring," Laura added, although her voice was muffled from the covers. Doe laughed.

"I'll do it."

A few minutes later she returned with her news.

"Yup! They're all awake! They didn't see me though. Effie's teaching me the art of the ninja."

"Ignoring that oddity," Laura said slowly. "What was the point again? Please don't tell me we're all gonna sit in a circle and play _Truth and Dare_ or something."

"That's a great idea!" Doe squealed. "I'll go get them to come over here!" She then ran out again, to get the others. Rosetta and Ashlynn followed, just so they could each go to one of the other cabins. A bit later, much to Laura's chagrin, the contestants burst into the room, all seemingly excited to play the oh-so inevitable sleepover game.

"I have _no_ idea why I agreed to this," Kenny sighed, taking his place into the circle that the contestants had started to form.

"Because _I_ told you to!" Leti grinned back at him, and plopped down beside him. "You wouldn't want to make me _upset_, would you?"

"Well, we'll see who's gonna be upset in the next few minutes. I've had some bad experiences with this game," Kenny groaned.

"Can't be worse much worse then Spin the Bottle," Rosetta commented wryly. "Aah, memories."

Next to her, Riley scowled deeply. Rosetta noticed this, and couldn't help but chuckle.

"Are you being jealous, Riley?"

"Maybe," Riley grumbled. Rosetta rolled her eyes and put an arm around him.

"You've already gotten your kiss Slick," she chuckled.

"Eeeee!" Effie squealed, sounding suspiciously like Katie and/or Sadie. "You guys are together now?!"

"I suppose we are. He had to lock me in a closet to do so," Rosetta remarked.

"That's not how it worked!" Riley objected, grinning.

"You keep telling yourself that," Rosetta replied.

**Confession Cam: It's 'jinxing yourself', my dear Watson**

"How can't I love that stubborn firecracker of a chick?" Riley smirked as he leered into the camera. "I honestly hope she goes farther then me. She deserves it. Besides, she's WAY more fun then any of those girly shy girls. I just love having someone to fight with."

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Where's Charity?" Allister asked. "Isn't she coming?"

"I haven't seen her--" Rachel mused. "Is she still in the cabin?"

"I'll go check," Allister murmured, standing up and exiting the room. He didn't have to look far. Charity was sitting on top of the Gopher's girl's cabin roof.

_"How did they not see her on top of the roof?"_ He wondered to himself, before sneaking around the back and climbing up to sit next to the young Goth.

"Hey," he greeted. Charity jumped up, slightly surprised, but then mumbled a greeting back at him. Allister frowned. "Something wrong?"

"I…" Charity sighed. "I miss my little sister. I feel so close to her, we've been through everything together…but I haven't seen her in so long!"

"Well, just think about it this way," Allister said, smiling. "She's watching everything you do from home; you could give her a personal message from the Confession Cam even. I bet she'd love that."

Charity's eyes lit up.

"That's a great idea!" She threw her arms around Allister before quickly pulling back, blushing. "Thanks! I'll go do that, and then I'll come for the games. I'll be back soon!"

She ran off, her smile going all the way to her ears.

**Confession Cam: It's 'sappiness' my dear Watson**

"I love you sis, I just want you to know that," Charity said firmly. "I'll always be there for you, okay? Never forget that!"

-------------------------------------------------------------------------

Charity ran threw the doorway, still smiling. She sat herself down, and Doe and Effie laughed evilly in unison.

"All right!" They cried. "Let's get this party started!"

"I'll pick the first victim!" Doe announced.

"Who's it gonna be?" Thomas asked.

"Ooh, ooh, I will!" Effie squealed. "Pick me! Pick me! Let me go first!"

"Hm…" Doe pretended to look around the room, searching for her first victim. "Hm…"

"ME! ME! ME!" Effie continued to shout.

"How about…" Doe frowned, and paused.

"MEEEEEEEEE!" Effie cried out even louder. The rest of the campers plugged their ears irritably.

"All right…let's go with…Effie, would you like to go?" Doe grinned.

"YES!" Effie let out a happy sigh.

"Okay. Truth…or Dare?" Doe asked dramatically.

"Truth!" Effie replied.

"Have you ever had a boyfriend?" Doe asked her.

"No way, chika! None of the guys back home are my type! I mean, none of them want to discuss all the cool things in life like evil twin aliens or the fourth dimension or even those psychopathic enchiladas! Anywho, for my victim…how about Raphael?"

"Me?" Raphael squeaked.

"I said your name didn't I?" Effie giggled. "All right, truth or dare?"

"Dare, I guess…" Raphael mumbled, not really thinking about what could be the consequences of letting _Effie_ pick his dare.

"All right then!" Effie gave Raphael a creepy grin. "Since you two are apparently going out for real and stuff, you must…

_"Oh you've got to be kidding me. Do all these girls only think about girlfriend-boyfriend stuff?" _Raphael groaned inwardly.

"You must…kiss Ashlynn on the lips!" Effie finished. "Since you haven't yet!"

"Wait a second, how do you know that?" Raphael asked, feeling slightly creeped out. Effie's responding evil laugh did nothing to ease his nerves.

**Confession Cam: It's 'unnecessary and somewhat unfunny running gags', my dear Watson**

"I guess Effie has some of that terrifying _female intuition_ I've heard so much about," Raphael shivered.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Ashlynn and Raphael both exchanged uneasy glances.

"Oh come on!" Effie laughed. "It's not like I'm asking you to skinny dip together or something."

"Ew…mental images!" Laura groaned.

"You could chicken out," Thomas offered Raphael.

"Of kissing his girlfriend?!" Riley snickered. "Dude, that is messed up."

"Alright that's it," Ashlynn sighed. She grabbed Raphael by the collar, and then quickly kissed him on the lips for a few seconds. Then, they both pulled away from each other…and then well, Raphael fainted.

"Unexpected. But funny nonetheless," John commented dryly.

"Ashlynn, since Raphael won't be up for a bit, do you want to pick the next one to go?" Rachel asked the brunette beside her.

"Yeah, sure…I don't see why not. Thomas, you wanna go?" Ashlynn murmured. The Jamaican teen excitedly nodded his head.

"Dare! I pick dare!"

"Alright…" Ashlynn grinned wickedly. "Your dare is…let Leti give you a perm."

There was a very short silence, and then the rest of the campers burst into laughter.

Thomas, whimpering, fingered his braids.

"Unless you want to be a chi-_icken_!" Laura said in a singsong voice.

"Fine. I'll do it," Thomas sighed.

"YAY!" Leti squealed, jumping up and down. "Ooh, my very first perm customer!"

"First?!" Thomas repeated. "Do you have a clue what you're doing?!"

Leti paused.

"Sort of…"

"Oh God, mon. This is gonna be torture," Thomas groaned as he was wheeled off by Leti.

"Alright, we need someone else to go while we're waiting…" Rachel continued. "Can I pick a victim?" She smiled slightly although it did, at some perspective, seem a little evil itself.

"Sure!" Kevin told her pleasantly. "Have a victim in mind?"

"Well…" Rachel scratched her chin. "How about you?"

"Bring it!" Kevin replied with a broad grin. Doe whooped and high-fived him. "I pick dare."

"Okay then, how about this? Kevin…for the next challenge…you have to switch clothes with Doe." Rachel declared boldly. Kevin paled.

"Go Rachel!" Rosetta laughed, leaning over to bump fists with the shy girl. "I'm lovin' the whole evil side you got going on!"

"Oh—and no pants!" Rachel added, turning once again towards Kevin.

"Wait, what?" Kevin asked. Rachel turned bright red and face palmed herself.

"Sorry, I didn't mean not wear…any pants…I meant wear something like one of Doe's skirts instead."

"Good," Doe sniffled, clinging onto Kevin protectively. "And not good. I don't think we're the same size, baby."

"Doesn't matter," Kevin grumbled. "Because I am _not_ doing that challenge! I don't care whether I'm a chicken or not."

Rachel shrugged, and grinned.

"Whatever you say…chicken. So, who are you picking?"

"Eh, how about…Laura?"

"Do I have to?" Laura groaned. "This is so immature."

"Unless you'd like to be called a chicken for the rest of the day," Doe giggled evilly.

"This game really is seriously stupid," Laura continued. "But whatever. Dare me, Kevin."

"Alright, let's see if you can do it this time…can you give everyone in the room a complement?" Kevin asked.

"No."

"Please? You didn't even try."

Laura let out an irritated string of curses under her breath, but halfheartedly, she began.

"Whatever. Alright. You, crazy girl number one, are fast. You, crazy girl number two, are apparently good enough to keep your boyfriend. Angry chick over there is strong. The nerd-girlfriend is smart…ish…redness over there apparently has a creatively evil side. Crazy girl number two's boyfriend…okay, hell with it, I barely have a clue who you are. Uh…your hair is cool? Nickname dude is resourceful. The loner is sneaky. In a good way. The unconscious geek is also smart-ish…and the other somewhat geeky one is capable enough, I guess. And um…" She stared at John, who stared back at her. "Huh. Do I know you?"

"ARGH!" John shouted, stomping upward and exiting the room. "I'm outta here!"

"Wait, who was he?" Allister asked Charity, who shrugged in response.

"Is he a hobo?" Effie asked in a hushed excited tone.

"I hope not," Rachel giggled. "But…moving on…Laura, you were close enough, (although you really do suck at remembering names) so go ahead and pick someone."

"Her," Laura said forcefully, pointing a finger towards Rosetta. "I pick her."

"Hm?" Rosetta mumbled, leaning her head on Riley's shoulder.

"Truth or dare?" Laura snapped.

"Wha? Oh. Truth. I pick truth. Too tired for dare..."

"Right, whatever you say," Laura sneered. "Truth then, hm? Okay," She grinned as she eyed Riley, determined to ruin another relationship. "What's the meanest thing you've ever done?"

"I once punched a kid for being an absolute moron," Rosetta mused, still sounding only half-awake.

"How long ago was that?" Doe asked, with an eyebrow raised. Rosetta shrugged in response.

"Meh, what's in the past is in the past. The kid…well…he deserved it. He wouldn't stop asking me out." Rosetta then noticed the scathing look Laura was giving her and Riley. "Wait…was that supposed to bother Riley?" A small smile tugged at the edge of her lips.

"Eh?" Riley glanced down at her, and then smirked. "Course not. Punching a kid because he tried to ask you out? I would've done the same…and then some."

"Aw…" Effie squealed. "He's protective of you!"

"Urgh…I'm really tired though…can we…?" Rosetta never got to finished her request, because she then passed out, snoring peacefully on the floor.

"Well, that's two," Allister remarked, gingerly lifting up the foot that Rosetta had collapsed on. "Shall we call it a night?"

"Sounds good to me," Charity yawned, as she stood up and stretched. "Thanks guys. It was fun. I never got to go…but whatever. Still fun."

"See you later!" Doe chirped.

The campers slowly exited and returned to their cabins.

Tomorrow, things would be better…and worse. Much, much, worse.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The fifteen remaining campers awoke to the sound of engines rumbling. Loudly. Groaning and moaning, they left their cabins to see what the noise was all about.

"Challenge time…" Thomas sighed, fingering his ridiculous permed hair as they marched forward.

They were surprised to see two big boats in front of them. Chris and Chef stood in the middle of the two.

"Or not…" Kevin said slowly. "_Is_ this a challenge?"

"Actually, nope!" Chris said, grinning. "Since we're supposed to give you 'rewards' once in a while for the winning team…we have one today for the Bass! We booked a breakfast diner with actually recognizable food! No offense, Chef."

"Humph," was Chef's only reply.

"So, hop in you luck Bass! We're off!"

The eight Bass began climbing into the boats, but were stopped when Raphael spoke up for the Gophers.

"Um…wait! You can't just uh, leave us here."

Chris quirked an eyebrow.

"And why not? We did it last year!" Chris reminded Raphael.

"Because…well…you're leaving us unsupervised!" Kenny blurted out, coming to Raphael's aid.

"You guys are sixteen. I'm pretty sure you can stay at camp by yourself," Chris said, his eyes narrowing.

"At a _camp_…with other _teens_ of different genders…you really think that'll hold up in court, Chris?" Raphael pushed.

"You wouldn't dare," Chris growled.

"I know a _very_ good lawyer Chris," Charity spoke up, crossing her arms with a grin.

At the word _lawyer_, Chris caved.

"All right, whatever. Hop in, Gophers."

The Gophers let out cheers, and scrambled to get in one of the two boats. Most were trying to get into Chris's boat, because the thought of Chef driving _anything_ was kind of frightening…

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

They arrived at the rewarding diner about an hour later. They marched up to the only sign of civilization they had seen since they got there, and took their seats, excitedly picking up menus all the while.

The diner was pretty typical looking. A jukebox lay in one corner, the floor was black and white checkered, and a table counter with food displayed and waiters relaxing was there as well.

"This…is awesome!" Doe laughed, as she helped herself to several waffles. Effie, beside her, just laughed insanely and began chugging Mountain Dews. Seven of them, to be exact. When she was done with that, she began turning her attention to the sugar packets laid out for coffee…

"Something nice for a change," Kevin agreed, sliding next to Doe and setting down his plate of food. To the left of him, Ashlynn and Raphael were still picking out food.

"I can't believe you managed to convince Chris to let you come here!" Ashlynn laughed to Raphael as she began sorting through muffins.

"I'm glad too. Heaven forbid we eat Chef's leftovers for breakfast," Raphael grimaced.

"Oh, by the way…um…sorry I kind of kissed you like that last night," Ashlynn said quickly, and blushing a little in the process. Raphael smiled.

"No need to apologize. Sorry if my fainting gave you the wrong impression."

"Does that mean you liked it?" Ashlynn teased.

"I suppose it does," Raphael replied, his smile enlarging.

**Confession Cam: It's elementary, my dear Watson! Oh wait, that's the actual quote…**

"Oh my gosh!" Ashlynn exclaimed, wringing her hands in excitement. "He likes me, doesn't he?" A buzz of static, and the camera switched to Raphael, who was flipping his coin nervously.

"Did I do okay? I was trying to be smooth, and maybe not faint…" he laughed nervously. "That kiss last night…oh my…"

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Leti, do you want a little coffee with that sugar?" Kenny asked.

Leti rolled her eyes.

"Come on Kenny. That's like, the oldest joke in the book. Either that or the chicken one."

Kenny laughed. "Well, I always did wonder where you get all that energy." Leti grinned.

"Fine, Mr. Smarty pants. Are you gonna eat that muffin?"

Kenny glanced down at his plate.

"Yeah, I guess I am—hey!" He growled, as Leti swooped down and popped the muffin in her mouth anyways.

"Too late!" She taunted. She then jumped slightly, because Chef had started to talk. Er, shout. Chef doesn't really actually say anything 'quietly'.

"All right, maggots! Listen up! Since we got all ya punks in the same place…Chris has decided to do the eighth challenge right here! Ya got that?!" Chef shouted as he walked up and down the aisle of the diner.

"Aren't the waiters objecting to this?!" John complained.

"Not after seeing Chef they wouldn't," Riley remarked.

"So ya punks, get ready! Because here it comes!" Chef continued, ignoring the two boys. He held his hands out dramatically towards the door. The teens stared at it for a while, but nothing happened. You could practically hear crickets chirping in the background.

"I _said_…here it comes!" Chef repeated, glaring at the door. Still, nothing happened.

"Oh my," Kenny mumbled. "Is this the challenge? Find the missing host?"

Chef began grumbling, "He said he would come in! Where the hell…" he exited the door, and began looking right and left.

"Quick!" Rosetta shouted. "Follow him! If this is another hunt-the-campers challenge, we can't let Chef, or Chris if we find him, out of our sight!"

The campers scrambled out, but Chef was still right outside the door, shouting Chris's name loudly.

"Jinkies! Look, footprints!" Rachel exclaimed, kneeling down to examine two sets of footprints that were imprinted in the sandy ground.

"Did you just actually say jinkies?" Laura asked, rolling her eyes.

"Well, this seems all detective-ish…" Rachel mumbled, smiling sheepishly.

"Two, huh? So someone else was involved…" Allister mumbled.

"You don't think…someone murdered Chris, do you?" Leti squeaked.

"He can't be murdered, come on. This must just be some sort of challenge!" Rosetta insisted.

"Maybe someone wanted revenge!" Leti cried. "After all those horrible challenges!"

There was a short pause.

"I always thought that Duncan character was kind of shady…" John grumbled. Doe whapped him on the back of the head so hard that he fell over.

"Stop that! Duncan is a nice guy!" Doe growled.

"Chef, is this a challenge or not?" Rosetta asked, her eyes flashing dangerously.

"This wasn't the challenge we had in mind, punk! The one he told me about was involving food and lots of throwing up!" He snapped.

"Ew…" Laura muttered, her nose wrinkling in disgust.

"What kind of kidnappers leaves a note at the scene of the crime?" Ashlynn asked sarcastically as she knelt down and swiped up a piece of paper that she found.

"Dear losers…" Raphael read, leaning over Ashlynn's shoulder. "We have Chris. If you don't meet our demands, we'll cut off all his hair. Mwahaha. Ha. Ha ha." Raphael frowned, and pushed away the note. "These morons can't be serious."

A loud crash erupted as he finished, making Raphael yelp and jump high in the air.

"PS…" Ashlynn read, running a finger over the last line of the note. "We are serious, dang it!"

"Well, we know one thing," Riley sighed. "These guys are idiots."

"PPS," Ashlynn continued reading, turning over the paper. "We are not idiots!"

"At least we know this isn't half as serious as we thought it was," Kenny murmured, breathing a sigh of relief.

"PPPS…this _is_ serious! We'll make you face your fears! We have all the info on your fears! Like, for example, a certain geek's fear of bridges…" Ashlynn yet again, continued to read the unusually uncanny letter.

Raphael paled, and immediately began running around in circles, blabbering gibberish.

"How long does that letter go on?!" Rosetta groaned.

"I think that's it," Ashlynn laughed.

"That's the worst they can think of? Having us _face our fears?_ That's...kind of uncreative." Doe criticized.

"Still, this time we HAVE to do them," Thomas winced.

"Or do we?" Kenny asked mysteriously. Thomas raised an eyebrow.

"Do we?"

Kenny shrugged.

"I dunno."

"We should be grateful these guys are probably just looking for amusement," Charity sighed. "Twisted amusement, that is. They don't seem that dangerous, at least. Still, I have the feeling they would be pretty A-OK with shaving Chris's hair."

"Why should we help Chris anyways? We don't even _like_ the dude!" Laura snapped.

"Because," Riley hummed. "Without him, how can we win the money? And if he _does_ come back, then I'm pretty sure that he's gonna make the rest of our stay here rather...unpleasant."

"Good point," Laura smirked.

"So, let me get this straight…" Allister began, attempting to summary up this unusual twist of events. "These…people…, who yes, don't seem very bright, are asking us to face our fears in order to save the host? That sounds a bit too Chris-ish, to me. Who wants to be that this is still Chris's doing?"

"Unless it's someone with a vendetta," Kenny replied.

"Against us?" Leti sniffled. "But who could hate us?"

"Not just us, but against this whole show," Kevin continued.

"I gotta admit," Thomas chuckled. "This is starting to get interesting."

"So, are they watching us right now?" Doe wondered.

"Probably," John sighed.

Meanwhile Raphael, who was still running around babbling nonsense, was hit in the head with a dodge ball that seemed to drop out of nowhere.

"OW!" He shouted, as he picked up the red rubber ball. A note was wrapped around it. "Great. Here they go again." He tossed the ball to Ashlynn, who raised an eyebrow and began reading it.

"Go back to Camp Wawanakwa. There, you will see something that surprises you…" She read.

"Mysterious," Rachel commented.

"All right, maggots! Let's head back!" Chef shouted, dragging all fifteen contestants into the boat.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Wow," Kenny mumbled, as he glanced around Camp Wawanakwa. Many different unusual things lay outstretched over the island—ranging from different tanks of various animals (spiders, rats, and dragonflies to name a few), to oddly enough a tiny white phone, and one big cardboard box. Each item was labeled with name tags of each of the remaining campers.

"It's amazing what people can do in the two hours you leave for breakfast," Kevin said dryly.

"Amazing or just plain suspicious," Allister sighed. "This has _got_ to be Chris's doing."

"I wouldn't be so sure," Doe murmured. "Chris doesn't usually go to this kind of lengths for challenges. If he wanted us to do this for a challenge, he'd be here, laughing at us the whole time."

"She's got a point!" Effie rambled, as she inspected all of the fear obstacles. "This is so so so freaky! It's like, they're reading our minds! Maybe…they're the evil twin aliens I was talking about!"

"Who knows anymore?" John groaned.

Kevin then stood in front of the camera, and looked deep into the lens. "So…is this actually a challenge? Will the campers be able to face their fears? And if Chris _isn't_ behind the strings on this one, who really is the mastermind? Find out next time on Total…Drama…Island!"

He stepped back, pleased with himself. The campers gave him a range of looks—varying from amused to annoyed to just plain puzzled.

Kevin just shrugged nonchalantly.

"Well, with Chris gone, _somebody_ had to do it…"

**(A.N.) Mysterious. I wanted to work in the fears, but not quite in the way you might expect…ooh, be sure to tell me who you think is behind this not-so-serious kidnapping (that is, if it _is_ a kidnapping). I'd love to hear your thoughts! **

**Kind of an odd chapter, (okay, **_**really**_** odd), but whatever. I hope you guys enjoyed it! And, happy holidays…again!**

**One more thing before I go—I have new poll up. Please, if you have the time, I'd really appreciate you checking it out. XD**


	14. CSI: Wawanakwa Style

Uncertainly, the campers walked over to each of their personally labeled and self-proclaimed dooms. An awkward silence followed—due to the fact that the campers hadn't a clue what exactly they were supposed to be doing. As if listening to their thoughts, a blaring unfamiliar voice sounded off of the intercom.

"Alright, listen up losers!" The voice sounded ridiculous, as if it had been slowed down just to confuse the campers. "Here's what you're going to do. One at a time, you're going to quite simply, face your fear. Go down the line one by one. If your fear is, per say, the _dark_," Doe winced at this, "then you must stay in the _dark_," another wince, "for at least five minutes. But if your fear is, let's just say, _bridges_," Raphael whimpered slightly, "Then you must cross the bridge twice. Get it? Got it? Good!"

"So who's first up?" Allister asked quietly, looking towards whomever it was that was on the far left to begin.

"That would be me," Charity said softly.

"Hey! I have a question for the not-so-scary voice!" Rosetta interrupted. "Are we facing this with no help from anyone else at all?"

"There can be one person close to you; the rest will have to watch from a distance. The person with you can't do anything like squish the spiders you might be afraid of, but they can encourage you or whatever, I don't really care." The voice replied.

"You sure thought this out thoroughly," Ashlynn muttered suspiciously.

"I had a lot of time to. Anyways, let's turn our attention away from me and onto…_Charity._ Charity's fear is water, so as you see, she has her own little tank of water there. Charity, you must stay under that water for sixty seconds. Need a friend?"

"Allister?" Charity asked hopefully, looking towards her crush. Allister nodded slightly, and walked over to the teen Goth. Slowly, Charity leaned over towards the water. She put on a brave face, and slowly stepped in. Since Allister already helped her with her fear once before, having him near her helped her greatly. Once she was completely submerged in the water, the oh-so mysterious voice began the countdown. Charity could just barely hear the numbers while she was in the freezing water.

Oddly enough, while the countdown started Effie whipped out a kazoo and started playing the Jeopardy song.

(**Sixty, fifty-nine, fifty-eight, fifty-seven…)**

Charity kept her eyes squeezed shut, and tried to isolate herself in her thoughts.

(**Forty-four, forty-three, forty-two, forty-one…)**

By then, she was beginning to feel numb. She moved around in the tank a little more to regain feeling.

(**Twenty-one, twenty, nineteen, eighteen…)**

She needed air. Really badly. She began moving towards the top of the tank, and Allister saw this.

"Just ten more seconds!" He shouted. "Don't come up yet!"

Charity paused, and immediately pushed herself back down.

(**Five, four, three, two, ONE!)**

The head of Charity popped up from the water, and took in a deep breath. She squealed excitedly from the delight of conquering her fear, and reached over to hug Allister. She fell backwards though due to the slipper water, and ending up pulling Allister into the water with her. They came up, grinned at each other, and kissed without giving it much thought at all.

"Aw..." The other thirteen campers smiled in unison.

"No! This is NOT supposed to be cute, dang it! This is supposed to be serious!" The evil voice cried.

"Hey, is it my turn with the voice-changer microphone yet?" A somewhat whiny voice asked. It was barely hearable, because it seemed to be away from the actual microphone.

"What?! No! Go away!" The voice snapped.

_"Was that…?"_ Rachel wondered, but then paused and shook the thought out of her head. _"No. It couldn't be…"_

"My turn!" Effie exclaimed in delight. She tapped the glass cage that held about a thousand dragonflies in it. A ladder was on one side.

"Okay, Effie. You have to climb in that cage and stay in there for a minute as well. Do you need a friend?"

"Nope!" Effie saluted to no one in particular and began singing as she climbed the ladder into the cage. "I don't know but I've been told! Dragonflies are mighty cold! Sound off, one two, sound off, three four, FIRE IN THE HOLE!" She shouted as she jumped head first into the cage. As soon as she landed, she began killing dragonflies left and right. The other campers watched in awe. Ten seconds later, she was grinning wickedly in a cage that now held a thousand dead dragonflies.

The last fifty seconds passed, and Effie whooped. She then punched a hole in the glass cage and walked away scott-free.

"That was…really weird," the voice said slowly. "Who's next?"

"I am," Thomas announced. He was sitting on a chair, and in front of him was a small table with a phone on it.

"You're afraid of phones?" Laura asked in disbelief.

"No," Thomas laughed nervously. "Actually, I'm afraid of…"

"Telemarketers," The voice finished. "And do we have the one for you! Are you ready?"

"Wait! Can Rachel come by me?" Thomas asked hopefully. The voice let out an annoyed groan.

"Fine, fine."

Rachel walked over to Thomas, and squatted down beside him.

Then, eerily, the phone rang. Thomas grimaced, and slowly picked the phone up.

"Hello sir! How are you today! Good? Great! That's awesome!" The voice said instantly, not letting Thomas get a word in.

"Remember Thomas, you have to listen to everything he says…" The voice laughed evilly.

"So, do I have the deal for you! I have a pill that will make you lose fifty pounds in less than two minutes! Isn't that amazing? Huh? Huh? HUH?!" Yikes. This was a very creepy telemarketer. Thomas's hand was shaking.

"So, whaddya say? Cash? Credit? How many do you want? Fifty? A hundred? Two hun--" The telemarketer never got to finish his question, because Thomas had hung the phone up with more then enough force. He then proceeded to throw the phone into the lake. It hit that one bird with the plastic pop rings around its neck. Since it has no name, we shall call it Dennis. The phone hit Dennis.

"At least you tried," Rachel soothed. Thomas just groaned.

"This isn't looking good for your host!" The voice warned. "You idiots better start doing better! Which sap is next?"

"I'm the sap that's next," Kenny replied sarcastically. He was sitting in front of a large pit. "Before you say anything else, yes, I want someone with me. Leti?"

Leti bounced over and peered in the pit to see what was inside. There were a multitude of snakes on the bottom, and Leti screamed.

"Alright then! Kenny, stay in there for one minute, and you'll have passed the test. The snakes aren't poisonous. I think. There's also a ladder on the side in case you want to chicken out."

Kenny gulped, and lowered himself into the pit. Once again, the voice began the countdown.

**(Sixty, fifty-nine, fifty-eight, fifty-seven…)**

Kenny remained absolutely stationary as snakes began crawling all over him. He sniveled, and pretended he was somewhere else.

"Come on, Kenny! You can do it!" Leti cheered enthusiastically.

**(Forty-seven, forty-six, forty-five, forty-four…)**

Ooo, they were scaly. Disgusting. Kenny wrinkled his nose.

**(Thirty-two, thirty-one, thirty, twenty-nine…)**

And then, the worse thing happened. Kenny's eyes bulged open, and twitched.

"THERE'S A SNAKE IN MY PANTS!" He screamed. Frantically, he began running around in circles before finally hitting his head on the side of the wall (accidentally) and passing out on the floor. Leti let out a yelp, and dove down to help him. She grabbed him by the collar and threw him on the top.

"Too bad, so sad," The voice sighed, although it didn't sound sad at all. "Since Kenny did not stay for the full minute…he has lost."

Chef, dressed in a nurse's uniform, ran onto the scene and wheeled Kenny away.

The voice laughed in glee.

"Let's keep it moving! Next is…"

"Yours truly," Rosetta sighed. She ran her hand over the small box in front of her. "Get over here hotshot," she continued, gesturing for Riley to come closer.

Rosetta let out a sharp exhaled breath, and slowly crouched in the box. With a sympathetic glance, Riley closed the box so that Rosetta's claustrophobia would kick in for the challenge. As always, the countdown began in the background. Rosetta was already feeling frightened.

"Riley, start talking nonstop," she ordered. "Distract the hell out of me."

"Got it. Want a particular subject?" He questioned.

"I don't care!" She shouted. "Just sidetrack me from this frickin' box!"

**(Fifty-two, fifty-one, fifty, forty-nine…)**

"Okay, I'll talk about myself then," he mused.

"That shouldn't be a problem for you," she chuckled. Riley grinned.

"Lemme see here…my full name is Riley Jacob Fox, I'm seventeen years old and I live in Manhattan. I have a mom and two sisters; I came here so I didn't have to get a summer job…" His pointless rant continued.

**(Thirty-two, thirty-one, thirty…)**

"You're the first girl I've kissed or actually had any interest in at all," Rosetta blushed from this fact, "I love mechanics and have blown things up on several occasions…" More rambling persisted.

**(Ten, nine, eight, seven…)**

"And finally, I am allergic to almonds."

**(Three, two, one. Oh come on, that was too easy.)**

"Whoo-hoo!" Rosetta cheered, as she jumped out of the box and high-fived her boyfriend.

"Boooring," the voice complained. "Raphael, you're next, so you better make this interesting. Since you're afraid of bridges, you have to cross that bridge that goes straight to the end of the lake, back to this very spot."

Raphael groaned as he peered over the bridge that vanished in the distance. Not waiting for the OK, Ashlynn walked over to Raphael for support.

"Come on Raphael, it's a bridge! Don't be a baby!" She said determinedly. Raphael narrowed his eyes.

"You know, most other people would just go 'Hey, you can do it!' or something like that."

Ashlynn grinned.

"Well, I'm not most other people, now am I?"

"I suppose not," Raphael sighed, as he took his first step on the bridge. He immediately yelped, and jumped back a few feet.

"What happened?" Ashlynn questioned.

"It's gonna break, I know it!" Raphael complained.

"Do you need me to _throw_ you on there, Raphael? Or better yet, sit on your head?" She threatened.

"You wouldn't," Raphael shot back.

"Oh, I would," Ashlynn smirked. Raphael had the bad feeling Ashlynn wasn't bluffing, so he took a deep breath and…

"GYAAAAAAH!" He screamed as he ran on the bridge, waving his arms frantically and disappearing into the distance. Once he reached the end of the bridge, he turned around and ran back, still screaming his head off.

He got the beginning of the bridge, and immediately crawled into the fetal position.

"Now that wasn't too hard, was it?" Ashlynn asked.

"S-s-s-s-shut up," Raphael stammered in reply. Just then, Chef walked near the duo and grabbed Raphael by the collar.

"Alright solider, you need to go do the intro for this episode. Here's your script," Chef thrust a small paper into Raphael's arms.

"W-w-why me?" Raphael snapped.

"Because maggot, I told you too! Besides, you're shaking so hard, it's sure to be a mysterious intro," Chef retorted.

"W-w-whatever," Raphael muttered, going back towards the Dock of Shame.

"That was much better!" The voice laughed. "Next we have John."

"Who?!" The majority of the confused campers asked in unison.

"ME!" John shouted, waving his arms for attention. He was standing in front of a tank that held three electric eels. "And I'm not doing this."

"You have to at least _try_!" Leti barked at him.

"No. I don't. I'm out of here…again," John growled as he stomped out of sight.

"Party-pooper!" The voice called out to him, clicking his/her tongue. "Doe, you better be more entertaining then that moron."

"I'll give it a shot," Doe replied mordantly, as she began crouching in a box similar to Rosetta's. Kevin ran over towards her immediately.

"You don't have to do this if you don't want to," he told her softly. Doe smiled weakly.

"But you _should_," the voice reminded Doe. Out of nowhere, Effie ran back onto the scene and chucked her kazoo at the voice's intercom.

"Stop ruining the moment!" She shouted, proceeding to run back to wherever the hell she was five minutes ago.

"I can do it…I know I can," Doe muttered, ignoring the argument between Effie and the intercom and managing to sound an awful lot like the "little blue train who could". With another smile at Kevin, she closed the box on herself and waited as the countdown went.

After the first twenty seconds she began to shiver slightly.

"I can't take it!" She whimpered. "I've gotta come back up!"

"No!" Kevin interrupted. "Doe, you're the bravest girl I've ever met! You can do it!"

"The sappiness is killing me," the voice groaned.

Despite the voice's cynical words—Kevin's reassurance kept Doe in for the remaining minute. With a relieved sigh, she stood back out from the box and wrapped her arms around Kevin.

"Thanks," she said, smiling.

"Go on Leti, before I die from the cheesiness," the voice snorted. Leti looked upon the odd contraption in front of her, and then glanced back at the intercom.

"What the hell is this?" She asked, with a quirked eyebrow.

"This is an earthquake simulator," the voice explained. "Stay on there for fifteen seconds and you'll have conquered your fear."

"Why fifteen?" Leti questioned.

"It's not exactly an easy task to stay on," the voice replied mischievously. Leti sighed, and slowly stepped on the platform that was held up by a seemingly firm base.

"When you're ready, just press the red button." The voice announced.

"Got it," Leti whispered, leaning down and pushing the button with squinted eyes. Immediately the platform began shaking violently. Leti squeaked, and began jumping all over the place to avoid falling off. Fifteen seconds passed, and she made it. She then proceeded to step off the platform and heave all over the place.

"I was wondering when that was going to happen…" Laura remarked.

"EW!" The voice shouted. "Next!"

"Is this thing stable?" Rachel questioned with a nervous laugh. She pointed towards the humongous ladder in front of her.

"Sure hope so," the voice laughed. Thomas went over to Rachel and gave her a quick hug.

"You're gonna do great. Just don't look down." He told her.

"But…it's so high up…and I'm so afraid of heights…" Rachel groaned. She closed her eyes and sighed. She then proceeded to climb up the ladder. When she reached the top, she began stepping back down again, (she thought she had completed the challenge), but the voice interrupted her.

"Nuh-uh-uh! You have to stay up there for a full minute!"

Hearing this, Rachel started to try to climb back to the front, but the ladder was wobbly and she ended up falling. She then landed in the arms of Thomas.

"Déjà vu," she breathed. Thomas smiled.

"You tried. That's what counts."

"Yada-yada, 'You tried'," the voice mocked. "Come on, be a little more original then _that_. Whatever. Take a shot at it, Riley."

Riley, oddly enough, was standing in front of a small tent.

"Hope you don't mind me asking," He started sarcastically, "but what up with the tent?"

"Inside that tent is a DVD player," the voice started. "And it will play a horror movie for ten minutes. Face your fear by watching it, and you'll pass."

"Easy," Riley smirked, thinking that when they said it'll play for ten minutes, it'll start from the beginning. That would give him just enough time to hightail it out of there by the time it got around to something like—"Oh. By the way. There are rumors of a psychopathic killer loping around here, but you shouldn't worry."

"It skips to the middle, right at the gory parts," the voice told him as if reading his thoughts. "So don't think you're getting off scott-free here, buddy."

Riley paled for a second, but his arrogant self returned in an instant.

"Come on Kitten. Time for our first date. Ah, horror movies. Feel free to hold my hand if you get scared."

Rosetta jogged over to him and gave him a wicked grin.

"This is _your_ fear, Slick. If anyone is holding anyone's hand, it's gonna be you holding mine."

Riley just shrugged, and put an arm around Rosetta's shoulders as they went into the tent together.

Inside, the TV was flickering static mysteriously. Nonchalantly, Rosetta pushed the play button and sat down beside Riley to watch it. Unfortunately, the voice wasn't bluffing and they were gonna have to watch all the shocker and gory parts. Rosetta couldn't help but notice how tense Riley seemed, so she decided to help out the best way she could.

"You know, I once had a boyfriend who _loved_ scary movies. I can't believe it. He would never flinch at all."

Determined to make himself look better, Riley did not look away from the movie for the rest of the time. In fact, by the time the ten minutes had passed, Allister and Kevin actually had to drag the two out.

"Congrats you made it," the voice drawled. "Allister and Kevin, since you share a fear, you two will go next."

"This is disgusting," they said in unison. In front of them was a cage. Creepily enough, you couldn't see the floor to the cage. It was covered with rats. Charity and Doe went to their sides and peeked in.

"I wish I could say they were cute…" Doe commented. "And I really do love all animals…but those really are ugly."

"They reek too," Charity complained.

"You're really not helping, surprisingly enough," Allister sighed.

"No way am I going in there," Kevin said rapidly. "I would need to shower for a whole week straight. Tetanus shots too. No, no, no."

"But if we don't go in, then that's two of us on the same team not facing their fear," Allister grimaced. "It would be like a double whammy."

"A double whammy…" Kevin echoed. "But for goodness sake, they're _rats_. They probably found them in the sewer."

"We _did_ find them in the sewer actually," the voice admitted.

"Well that's just great!" Allister groaned. He kicked the side of the cage irritably, and a bunch of rats hissed at him. Kevin let out a girlish scream and jumped into Allister's arms. Allister dropped him on the ground.

"OW!" Kevin complained.

"I guess then, we're not going…" Allister sighed, ignoring Kevin.

"So!" The voice sang. "For the Bass to win, Laura and Ashlynn need to face their fears!"

"_For the bass to win_?" Doe repeated in a hushed tone towards Effie. "I thought this was a thing to save Chris."

"Maybe I heard it wrong…" Rachel whispered towards the duo since she was in hearing distance, "but I could've sworn I heard in the background…" her voice became hushed as they continued to talk in secret. They came out of their huddle in a few seconds.

"Well, it's settled. Let's go there right now!" Effie squealed.

"Go where?" Rosetta questioned, walking pass the three of them. The group whispered their thoughts towards Rosetta, whose eyes widened when she heard what they were thinking.

"Awesome!" She exclaimed triumphantly. "Let's do it!"

The four girls disappeared into the distance unnoticed, just as Laura was just about to face her fear. It was a huge pile of muck.

"That simple, huh?" The voice questioned. "Whatever. Stay in there for sixty seconds and you're good to go."

"No!" Laura shrieked. "These are designer clothes!"

"Oh you're doing it you tanning-bed-baked goat-face oompa-loompa monkey problem," Riley growled, apparently having just as much dislike for Laura as Rosetta did. He seemed to be pretty creative with his insults. "Because if you don't, I can promise you you're going to be the one going home."

"God, I hate you all!" Laura shouted, as she began stepping into the muck. The rest of the campers there couldn't help but grin. Sixty seconds passed, and she came up covered in the thick black substance shivering.

"I'm going…to take…a shower…" she hissed, stomping past the rest of her teammates.

"Oompa loompa monkey problem?" Allister repeated, giving Riley a skeptical look. Riley shrugged.

"I got it off of a Ludo song."

Meanwhile, the voice continued its evil ways.

"Pressure's on you Ashlynn! You've gotta face your fear…or else!" The voice laughed. Ashlynn groaned as she glanced at the tank of spiders.

"What happened to 'Oh don't be a baby'?" Raphael teased, back from his intro and done with the stutter.

"I'm not sure who the hypocrite here is," Ashlynn snickered.

"Either way, payback is a real pain the--"

"I haven't got all day!" The voice said sharply. And then, the _weirdest_ possible thing happened over the intercom.

"_Heeeeere's JOHNNY!" _A voice laughed manically. ("Was that Doe?!" A few of the campers exclaimed). Doe was not speaking (er, shouting,) straight into the microphone so the sound was distant, yet still easily heard. A few crashes sounded over the intercom, there was a small silence and then the intercom turned off and switched to elevator music.

There was a short pause.

"What just happened?!" Leti cried.

"I…really don't know…" Rachel said slowly. "Uh, go ahead and continue Ashlynn."

"If you say so…" Ashlynn chuckled. She climbed up, and nervously stepped in the tank with at least twenty spiders in it. She was too nervous to try and kill them, so she just squinted her eyes shut as the seconds (now counted by the campers, rather then the intercom) passed by. Every time a spider went near to climbing on her, she would shake it off as quickly as she could.

"Sixty!" The campers finally shouted in unison once the last second ticked by. Ashlynn must've jumped at least ten feet in the air as she got out of the tank as fast as she could.

"I think I swallowed one…" she said woozily as she landed on the ground.

"Well…" Raphael awkwardly patted her on the shoulder. "You did it. Good job."

"So, what now?" Rachel questioned.

"I'm not the only one who heard Doe back then, right?" Kevin sighed. The others nodded. "Well, if she's there, let's just hope she doesn't blow something up."

**A bit before Doe did The Shining reference:**

Rachel, Rosetta, Doe, and Effie nabbed a jet ski and took off towards the Playa de Losers.

"Are you sure you know what you're doing?!" Rachel asked Effie, who was pretty content with going as fast on the Jet Ski as humanely possible.

"I don't think she does…" Rosetta groaned. Effie kept driving around in circles, going over the waves she made with childish glee.

"That's it, I'm taking gonna drive!" Doe shouted. She began to reach over to start steering the Jet Ski towards their actual destination but Effie slapped her hand away.

"I'm the driver!" Effie growled.

"Yeah, but if you haven't noticed you've been going in circles for the past ten minutes!" Rosetta complained.

"Don't make me turn this thing around!"

"I'd be happy if you did!" Rachel groaned as she clutched her stomach nauseously.

"Oh you guys are no fun," Effie sniffled as she reluctantly continued her drive towards the Playa de Losers.

Once they got there, the four departed from their vehicle and began searching for anything suspicious.

They passed some of the people who had been kicked off already—Jade, Satine, Hunter, and Warren. The four of them were lounging around near the pool and beach chairs. The four girls walked up to them.

"Has anything weird been happening around here lately?" Rachel questioned. The four of them didn't seem that surprised to see some of the remaining contestants there. Well, more like the three of them. Warren was sleeping peacefully.

"Actually yes," Jade remarked, not looking up from a book she was reading. "Room 212. Be there or be square."

"Where's that?" Doe asked.

"To the left," Satine told the girls. "It's on the second floor."

"Is anyone hurt over there?" Rosetta asked.

"What is this, twenty questions?" Hunter laughed. "No, nobody's hurt that I'm aware of. How're things over there?"

"It was a phobia challenge!" Effie said excitedly. "But Chris has been missing for a while; we're here to rescue him! We're like, Charlie's Angels or something!

The three (awake) ex-contestants exchanged glances.

"Missing, huh?" Jade smirked. "Maybe you should go check that room out yourselves."

"If you say so," Rosetta said with a shrug.

"Hey…" Hunter gave a sheepish smile. "How's Leti doing?"

"Missing you," Rachel replied with a smile. "She really does want to keep you as a friend, Hunter. So keep in touch with her."

Hunter grinned and thumped his chest.

"You have my word," he assured her.

"Come on guys we have to go!" Effie urged the other girls. "Time is a-running out!"

"See ya later!" Doe shouted as she, Effie, Rosetta, and Rachel ran towards the left building.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------

The girls ran up the stairs to the building, and Effie kept humming dramatic chase music. They kept passing each room one by one.

"Room 209, Room 210, Room 211, Room 212! Aha!" Doe shouted. Rachel walked up and jiggled the door knob, it didn't budge at all.

"Stand back," Rosetta ordered. The girls glanced at each other, shrugged, and did as they were told. Rosetta backed up a few paces herself, then jumped forward and kicked the door open with her heel. The door broke right off its hinges.

"_Heeere's Johnny_!" Doe laughed manically as she charged into the room. The other three girls followed, and were, (putting it lightly,) surprised at what they saw.

It looked an awful lot like that shed from the Psycho Killer episode from last season. There were screens showing the other campers, and there were two mysterious chairs in front of the screens.

"You've got to be kidding me," Rosetta said slowly.

In one chair, was a totally and completely unharmed Chris.

In the other was Heather. _The_ Heather.

"We've been _expecting you_," Chris said dramatically as he spun around in his chair and stroked and imaginary kitty. Chris was the 'annoying' voice that Rachel had heard over the intercom.

"Cut the crap Chris," Heather said with a quick roll of her eyes, shutting the voice-changing microphone off. "What do you losers want, anyway? Need an award?"

"Whoa, whoa, whoa," Rachel said quickly. "So, there was never any danger at all?"

"Nada," Chris said, flashing the girls a pearly-white grin.

"That is so lame!" Rosetta groaned.

"This is Total Drama Island, not CSI," Heather reminded the agitated teen.

"Maybe she was hoping for a fight scene or two!" Effie rambled. "I know I was! We could be all like boom-boom-boom! And rata-tata-tata! And we'd go flying in the air and kick your butt! Can we still kick your butt, Heather?"

"What do you think, crazy?" Heather snorted.

"Yes?" Effie asked hopefully.

"No!" Heather shouted.

"Darn…"

"So, mind doing a little explaining here?" Doe asked, taking a step forward. "What was the point of all this?"

"Pretty much…just for kicks," Chris replied. Heather nodded in agreement.

"Seeing you losers going 'OH EM GEE! What if he got _murdered?!_' was totally worth it," She snickered.

"Unbelievable," Rachel scowled.

"Don't you hate this show, Heather?" Doe asked, confused. "Why would you help Chris with anything? I wouldn't think you would mind shaving his head…"

"I would've loved shaving this non-rule-abiding moron," Heather hissed, jerking a finger towards the evil host. "But I'm sure Chris would just love to give me a lawsuit if I touched a hair on this head."

"So you two worked together…" Rachel started.

"Even though you hate each other," Doe finished.

"Nah, I don't hate any of my contestants," Chris said, still grinning. "I just have no care for their well-being, that's all."

"With that being said," Rosetta said dryly, "I think it's time to go back."

"Fair enough," Chris chuckled. He turned towards Effie and Rachel. "See you at the campfire."

"We'll be waiting!" Effie proclaimed.

"Well, goodbye and good riddance Heather," Rosetta said sarcastically, as she exited the room.

"Courtney's better then you!" Doe blurted out, before running away as well.

------------------------------------------------------------------

"So. Here you are…again," Chris remarked as he gazed at each of the Gophers. "Did you guys miss me?"

"Not really," Raphael said dully.

"Nope," Kenny agreed.

"You were gone?" Leti asked, surprised.

Chris narrowed his eyes.

"Ignoring that…let's get this show on the road. Rachel. Raphael. Leti. Effie. Charity."

The final two remaining contestants were John, and Kenny.

"Campers…this is the final marshmallow. If you do not receive the marshmallow, you will walk the Dock of Shame, catch the Boat of Losers…and never come back. EVER. The final marshmallow goes to…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

Kenny."

Leti let out a huge cheer as Kenny received his marshmallow. The two then ran too each other and hugged tightly.

"Unbelievable!" John shouted. "How could you vote of ME?!"

"You left without giving setting foot in the water," Raphael told him.

"But…but…" He growled. Chef, appearing on the scene, grabbed the teen and forcefully threw him on the Boat of Losers. As they sped off, proof that John left no legacy whatsoever was evident in Leti's final question for the night—

"Who was that guy, anyways?"

**(A.N.) John was in fact my character, so no, I'm not insulting anyone's character here.**

**Anyways…**

**Black Jaganshi Wolf Lover got the Heather thing right, so kudos there. I really don't have anything else to say though. So very tired…I stayed up much later then I should've…**

**Adios. Adieu. Goodbye. Goodnight!**


	15. Ready, Aim, FIRE!

**(Just a quick note—I have no knowledge of the mechanics of a hot air balloon, so please don't criticize me on that subject. Because of my lack-of-knowledge, the challenge today is shorter.)**

"Last time, on CSI: Mia—I mean, Total! Drama! Island!" It was Ashlynn's turn to do the intro this time around, and she decided to do her intro a little more sarcastically then the others. "Our 'beloved' host Chris went missing…boo? So, after an excruciatingly pointless search for the host, and coming up empty handed—we had to all face our fears, (or not), in a confusing twist of events. Couples were blooming, including yours truly and Raphael…that is, if saying "Get on the damn bridge or I'll sit on your head" is another way to express your devotion."

She blew a strand of hair out of her face and grinned.

"So, will Riley and Rosetta's grudge against Laura be their downfall? Will more couples experience drama? And which team will be going up in flames?" Her eyes widened when she read the last line she was supposed to say. "Yikes. That's a little creepy. What is this challenge, anyway?"

"Something with explosives," one cameraman explained. Ashlynn rolled her eyes.

"So basically, same old same old."

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The main host himself, Chris, was going over his fifteen minutes of ego-inducing complements…to himself, by himself. This basically meant he stood in front of a mirror and told himself how awesome he looked.

"Oh yeah," the host announced, grinning as he leered at his reflection. "Your hair is looking _wicked_, man. Although it might have to do with the fact that you're the only person in a hundred mile radius to get hot water…which is still _totally awesome!_ Now, where's my makeup…?"

Elsewhere, the author decided to cut the complements short, because writing two paragraphs about how amazing Chris thought he looked was guaranteed to drive her insane.

So, after another ten minutes of complements, Chris's 'me time' was interrupted when someone knocked on the front door to his luxurious beach house.

"What is it?" Chris groaned as he trudged to the front door and opened it up.

"Dill's Delivery Deport, sir!" An incredibly jittery man shouted as he saluted the movie star host. "For all your explosive and hot air balloon needs!"

"Excellent," Chris laughed evilly, but then paused as he eyed the chap in front of him. "Dude. Stop shaking. You're kinda creeping me out."

The delivery guy tried to stop shaking, but failed. "Sorry, sir!" He continued to shout. "But I had twenty-one cups of coffee to get here in your time limit and deliver your needs, sir! I drove day and night for five days!"

The two men eyed each other for a moment.

"I would really appreciate a bit of a tip…" hinted the delivery man.

"That's nice," Chris replied as he slammed the door in his face.

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The Bass boys were standing outside of the cabin, angrily muttering to themselves as they were woken up by the sound of Effie wrestling a wooly beaver that had somehow gotten over to the Wawanakwa campground.

"You think this looks bad?" Effie had boasted, covered in scrapes and bruises. "You should see the beaver!"

"What does that girl do once she gets up, anyways?" Allister muttered as Effie continued to laugh insanely and run around in circles. "Eat five pixie sticks?"

"Seventeen!" Effie corrected.

"Of course," Allister rolled his eyes.

"It could be worse," Thomas remarked. "She, Doe, Alice, and Leti, could team up and…"

"And what?" Riley snickered. "Rule the world?"

"Now there's an idea to fear," Kevin commented. "Except Leti still doesn't like Doe or Effie…" Riley frowned.

"I thought that argument had been resolved."

"Not really," Kevin mused. "Apparently, Leti can't stand Doe and Effie's…" He paused for a brief moment, and meanwhile Effie let out another happy squeal as she pelted a flustered Raphael with crab apples.

"That," Thomas finished for Kevin, nodding a head towards the unusual scene a few yards in front of them. "She can't stand that."

"Well, Doe's not like that," Kevin argued. "Doe's less crazy, and nicer."

"Nicer as in she _doesn't_ throw various objects at innocent geeks?" Riley asked.

"You know, we really should help the guy…" Allister mused, glancing at Raphael.

"Yeah, we should," Kevin agreed.

No one moved from their spot. After a few minutes, Effie got bored and went back to her own cabin.

"Thanks for the help!" Raphael called out sarcastically to the Bass boys as he stomped back to his own cabin.

"You're welcome!" Kevin said cheerfully. Allister smacked him on the head.

"Idiot…" he muttered.

--------------------------------------------------------------------

Likewise, the Bass girls were also awoken by Effie's wrestling match. However, they didn't bother leaving because Doe assured them that Effie would be done in a few minutes, and it was perfectly normal for Effie to be wrestling a wild animal three times her size.

Knowing Effie, the other girls did not object. Who knows what sort of twisted tag team match it could turn into if they got involved?

"So…" Doe rambled, as she threw her legs over the edge of her top bunk and glancing towards Ashlynn. "What's the deal with you and Raphael? Your relationship seems reeeeeealy weird."

"Awkward might be the better word," suggested Laura.

"Not this again," Ashlynn groaned.

"Well, you two _are_ the front-page gossip for us girls," Rosetta laughed. "It's been a long time for us since we've had any touch with civilization out of this crappy camp."

"Oh, it's not that bad," Doe smiled. "I mean, what's the worst that has happened to us here?"

A major coincidence, (or not) the girls heard a large whizzing over their heads, which was followed by a humongous explosion.

"What was that?!" Ashlynn exclaimed. The four girls ran out of their cabin to see what the clatter was. In the cabin to the right of theirs, the entire roof of the Gopher boy's cabin had been completely blown off. Raphael and Kenny ran out screaming shrilly, the latter's clothes on fire.

Kenny continued to run around in circles, on fire, until he finally ran into a tree. Effie ran over to him and whapped him in the head with a fire extinguisher.

**Confession Cam: Enjoys slapstick more then you know**

"I…hate this place…" Kenny hissed with his clothes in smolders. Thankfully, Leti had run over and dumped a bucket of water on him since Effie did not exactly help much.

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"That was the best morning EVER!" Leti squealed, practically jumping up and down in her seat. The campers had made it over to the mess hall for breakfast.

"A wrestling match, a hyper Effie, and _explosives_ are _fun_ in your book?" Kenny questioned, glaring at his teammates.

"It was fun to _watch_…" Charity admitted sheepishly.

"You're not the one who was hit with a fire extinguisher!"

"I said I was _sorry_!" Effie whined.

"Yeah Kenny, she said she was _sorry_…" Rachel teased.

"I think this show hates me," Raphael sighed, as he hit his head with his palm to get the ash out of his ears. "I've been the butt of all the slapstick jokes since day one."

"So you're the one who dragged me into this mess?" Kenny groaned, but he was starting to grin a little. Raphael grinned in response.

"Welcome to the club."

"In other news, I believe we have a new hookup," Rachel remarked, changing the subject. "How was that kiss yesterday, Charity?"

Charity blushed wildly.

"It was just a spur of the moment, it probably won't actually go anywhere…" she mumbled. Allister heard this and slunk back behind her.

"What won't go anywhere?" He asked softly. Charity turned around in surprise, and Allister leaned down and kissed her…again. The crowd then aw'd…again.

"Gag me with a spoon," Laura groaned, ruining the moment. Rosetta grabbed the back of Laura's head and pushed her face into the…ahem… "oatmeal".

"That's my girl," Riley laughed, reaching over to high-five Rosetta. Laura, spluttering, immediately wiped her face off with the nearest napkin she could find.

**Confession Cam: Also enjoys scrabble. Is there anything wrong with that, hm?!**

"Sure, they're smug now," Laura grinned. "But one of them is going to end up heartbroken with _me_ pulling the strings. At least, as soon as we lose a challenge…"

-------------------------------------------------

"Hello campers on this fine day! Today's challenge is special, OK?" Chris greeted as he strode in the doorway. "I will stay for this challenge, have no fear! Nothing will be wrong for this New Year!"

"Was that supposed to rhyme, or was that just really stupid coincidence?" Riley asked with a raised eyebrow. Chris frowned.

"Yeah, that _was_ weird…" He agreed.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa," Rachel interrupted. "Did you say New Year? It's July for heaven's sake!"

"Not in the real world…" Charity said eerily.

"Say what?" Leti asked, blinking slowly. Charity smiled innocently.

"Nothing."

"So, what about New Year?" Thomas asked Chris.

"You see, for this challenge we had a special delivery…follow me outside, campers!"

The fourteen remaining campers did as they were told. Right outside the mess hall were two gigantic hot air balloons. The one on the left had a red balloon with a green bass picture on it, and the one on the right had a green balloon with a red gopher on it. To the side of the balloons was a pile of fireworks.

"So that's where the fireworks came from…" Ashlynn mused.

"Yup," Chris nodded. "Chef wanted to try them out."

"So what exactly is all this for?" Kevin asked. "I mean, besides it being for the challenge that is…"

"I'm glad you asked!" Chris said, flashing Kevin a grin. "Today's challenge is gonna be a _real_ blast…and we mean that literally! What you're going to do later tonight,"

"Tonight?" Raphael interrupted Chris. "Why not just now?"

"I'll get to that!" Chris shouted. "Sheesh. Our biggest critic John finally leaves--"

"Who?!" Leti asked, scratching her head in confusion.

Chris sighed.

"Never mind. Later tonight, three campers from each team will be climbing into their given basket. Meanwhile, the other teammates will be navigating the hot air balloon goers from on the ground. Now you might ask—why would they need navigators? That's because…the hot air balloon users will be blindfolded!"

Moans and groans erupted from the campers.

"Ha!" Chris laughed evilly and rubbed his hands together. "That's right! As I was saying, there will be three contestants in the balloon. One will be operating the balloon, one will be listening and telling the others the directions given to them by their fellow campers, and the other will be operating the _fireworks._ Those fireworks are your key to victory because you blindfolded balloon users will be trying to put the fireworks on display for me and my main man Chef!"

"So which team has which person?" Rachel asked.

"The Bass team gets yours truly, the Gophers get Chef," Chris replied. He then grinned once again. "Oh, one more thing…the balloons have to stay high up in the air the whole time. If you don't stay up, _or_ if we don't see your fireworks _exactly_ at twelve o'clock midnight, then that means your team is gone. Zip. Bye-bye. Enjoy the rest of the day campers…and pray there's good wind tonight."

"And in turn, you should pray that we don't end up shooting the fireworks right in your face," Doe giggled. Chris's face fell.

"Score!" Kevin proclaimed, bumping fists with his girlfriend.

The campers started to dissipate from the crowd, talking amongst themselves. On Ashlynn's way back, Laura caught her arm.

"Hey, can I talk to you?" asked the conspirator. Ashlynn shrugged.

"Sure. What's up?"

"I have one little favor I need to do, in case we do lose. And trust me; it's for the best…"

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"You really live in Calcutta? Crap."

Riley and Rosetta were sitting on the roof of the mess hall, and Rosetta had just admitted that she didn't live anywhere near Riley's home town which was Manhattan.

"What made you go all the way just for this show?" Riley asked her.

"I just needed a break from the cities. So I figured, why not escape to the great outdoors? And I need the money," she grinned. "My tendency to waste my money on music will be the death of me."

"Music, huh?" Riley remarked. "CD's, then? If anyone uses CD's anymore, that is. I swear, iTunes is gonna get rid of all the CD's in the world someday."

"I still buy and keep CD's for sentimental value," Rosetta laughed. "I also keep spending money and keeping my piano in shape."

"Hold the phone!" Riley protested, his hands held up in objection and a smirk coming to his face. "Rosetta, the bad girl, plays the piano? I always thought of you as the motorcycle type, banging your head to some heavy rock band or something."

Rosetta was just about to give a sarcastic reply, but then, all of what Riley said registered.

"Rosetta?" She repeated. "You just called me Rosetta. For the first time since I've gotten here."

Riley blinked.

"I suppose I did. Damn it, you really are bringing the soft side out of me. I think I need to go make fun of someone stupid to get my edge back."

"Well, there's always Chris…" Rosetta suggested. Then, the two teens had to duck to avoid a flurry of fireworks, courtesy of Chris himself.

"I heard that!" Shouted the disgruntled host.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Raphael and Kenny ran their hands through the freezing cold water in the communal bathrooms—still unsuccessfully getting all the soot off of them.

"Need some help?" Two girls asked in unison. The boys turned their heads to see both Leti and Ashlynn in the doorway.

"Oh thank God," Kenny breathed. "I thought one of you was Effie at first."

"Well I'm not her, so you can calm down," Leti remarked, picking up a washcloth and wiping it all over Kenny's face. "You still have a gigantic bump on your head."

"Thanks for reminding me," Kenny winced. Raphael and Ashlynn eyed each other meanwhile.

"No," Raphael said firmly and taking a step backwards.

"I didn't even do anything!" Ashlynn protested.

"I'm still a little irked over the bridge thing," Raphael scowled.

"First fight?" Leti questioned.

"More like the twentieth," Ashlynn chuckled. She cracked her neck. "Why aren't you guys just taking a shower, anyways?"

Kenny and Raphael exchanged uneasy glances. Curious, Ashlynn and Leti opened up the nearest shower stall.

"OH MY GOD!" Leti screamed.

"WHAT IS _THAT_ DOING HERE?!" Ashlynn shouted.

"Effie wanted some place to keep her…_pet_…" Kenny explained, plugging his ears in case the girls resorted to more screaming. There, in the shower stall, was the infamous wooly beaver Effie had been wrestling, sleeping peacefully.

At least, it _had_ been sleeping peacefully.

"Nice," Raphael groaned as he started to back away from the irritable wooly beaver which was now stepping out of its stall. Leti and Ashlynn both grabbed the boys and ran out of there as fast as they could.

"Something is seriously wrong with Effie!" Ashlynn announced.

"You _just_ noticed?" Raphael shot back. Meanwhile, the wooly beaver just craned its neck and lied back down on the tiled floor.

**Confession Cam: Uh…**

The wooly beaver was in the stall, speaking in subtitles.

"Was it something I said?" It asked, frowning.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

Doe hummed to herself, stretched out on the Wawanakwa beach. Kevin sat next to her, cross-legged.

"Hey Doe?" Kevin questioned, leaning over to the half-asleep teen beside him. "Did you…talk to Ashlynn today?"

"Hm?" Doe leaned up and propped herself to face her boyfriend. Her happy face slowly turned to somber realization. "Oh…yeah. To vote off either Rosetta or Riley the next time we lose…"

"Do you think that's such a good idea?" Kevin asked, sighing. "Riley…is kind of a friend."

"And Rosetta seems nice," Doe admitted. "But they both _are_ good competition. Gotta eliminate the good competition early, right?"

"But it's just like last season," Kevin continued. "Do we _really_ need to vote them off?"

"Who else, though?" Doe argued.

"What about Laura herself?" Kevin asked. Doe sighed, and plopped herself back down on the ground.

"You saw her at quidditch. She's a really good athlete."

"But so is Rosetta," Kevin continued. "And Riley is really smart."

"But that's just the thing!" Doe exclaimed. "We need Laura for the team things—and although Riley and Rose could be helpful—we would want to keep them around once the teams are gone. With Laura, everyone wants her gone."

"The same thing could happen though like last season. Laura could get invincibility again and again!" Kevin groaned.

"Come on, what's the chances of that happening again?" Doe questioned.

"It's a reality show Doe—they probably set it up just so the mean girl gets far."

**Confession Cam: Needs a vacation from the drama**

Chris smirked.

"It's true."

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Doe pursed her lips, and then shook her head slowly.

"I don't know Kevin. Either way, someone is not gonna be happy with the way things turn out…"

"Well, we'll still be able to go far together!" Kevin said optimistically. Doe punched him in the arm playfully.

"That was so cheesy I could cry," she teased.

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Later that night, the fourteen campers gathered around the hot air balloons to start the challenge.

"Alright, do we pick who goes in the balloon, or are you deciding?" Charity questioned. She rolled her eyes slightly. "Scratch that, I think I already know."

"We chose," Chris assured her. "So…Rachel, Kenny, Raphael, Allister, Laura, and Doe go to your team's balloons. You can choose your own jobs."

"This'll be a piece of cake," Laura laughed as she hopped into her balloon. "They've got all the shy ones handling the big jobs."

"You know what they say Laura," Allister chuckled as she climbed into the balloon basket as well. "_It's always the quiet ones._"

Allister and Rachel ended up being the direction listeners. Raphael and Laura navigated the balloon, and Doe and Kenny handled the fireworks. Chris walked over to each of the balloon goers and blindfolded them. He and Chef preceded to hand the remaining contestants maps to where the two adults would be on the island.

The wind was howling all the while, much to the balloon users' fright.

Once Chris and Chef had gotten to their destinations, the sound of a trumpet blasted through the intercom, signaling for the balloons to go in the air.

Raphael and Laura let the flame heat the air in the balloon for a certain amount of time, and then shut it so they wouldn't go higher then needed. Thankfully, before the blindfolds had been put on, they had positioned themselves right in front of the switch.

"Try to turn right!" Rosetta shouted to Allister. Allister repeated the message to his teammates in the balloon, and they all shifted towards the right side so the wind could blow them there. Abruptly however, the wind shifted from the favor of the Bass to the favor of the Gophers and the Gophers now were closer to their destination.

"All right, we're trying to get towards the Dock of Shame," Thomas muttered quietly. "And it looks like they're trying to get to the thousand foot cliff."

"Stupid wind!" Doe chanted to herself angrily and holding the fireworks close to herself. "Stupid, stupid, wind!"

"Lean back!" shouted Kevin. The Bass balloon goers obliged. The wind that was now blowing them forwards was still blowing them forward…but much, much, slower. Laura shut the flame off so that they could start to lower themselves as well to minimize the damage of their lost time.

Once the wind shifted again, Laura raised them higher up.

"We weren't too low to be fouled out, were we?" Doe asked.

"I guess not," Allister mumbled. "Nothing has happened yet to tell us so."

"At least we're coming closer to where our teammates want us to go," Laura muttered, scratching her blindfold impatiently. "This balloon goes to friggin' slow though!"

Meanwhile, the Gopher balloon that _had_ been going straight ahead towards the cliff, was now going back… straight towards the Bass.

"Oh crap, oh crap, oh crap!" Charity chanted from the ground, her face paling.

"Oh crap?" Raphael repeated.

"That doesn't sound good…" Kenny whimpered.

"Hit the decks!" Effie shouted, jumping up and down and waving her arms frantically. "You're gonna collide!"

"Frick!" Rachel shouted, scared out of her wits. "Guys, we've got to lower the balloon!"

"But then their basket could pop the balloon if we don't make it down in time!" Kenny argued.

"Well, does anyone _else_ have some bright ideas?" Rachel snapped.

"Pray?" Raphael suggested sarcastically.

The three of them clasped their hands together anyways.

"Oh, gods of Wawanakwa," Rachel pleaded. "Please don't let us die in a horrible freak hot air balloon accident!"

"Amen to that!" Raphael shouted.

And then, in all its cliché glory, a ray of light shone on the three campers, and the wind shifted to their liking. Of course, this was bad for the Bass on the other hand.

"What about us?!" Doe cried, facing up towards the heavens.

"Sorry guys!" Rachel laughed. "But you _do_ have Laura on that balloon of yours! I don't think anyone up there likes her!"

"If that's the case, then they're lucky they haven't been struck by lightning," Kenny remarked.

The Bass waited anxiously for the wind to change back, but it kept on pushing the Gophers to the thousand foot cliff and the Bass slowly and unwillingly trailing behind them.

"It looks like we have no choice!" Thomas yelled to the Bass ballooners. "You're going to just have to try to shoot the fireworks from there!"

"But what time is it?" Ashlynn asked.

"It's eleven fifty eight!" Kevin replied.

"That's close enough!" Doe shouted. "Just tell me where to point!" Doe's teammates directed her to the spot to shoot from—something that might just be accurate enough to work. Doe fumbled around for the match, and lit it.

"This doesn't seem safe!" Allister grimaced.

"This _is_ TDI," Laura reminded the loner.

"Here we go!" Doe breathed, holding the match close to where she needed to light the fireworks.

"Ready…" Rosetta murmured.

"Aim…" Riley chorused.

"FIRE!" The Bass shouted in unison. Doe lit the fireworks, and they went zooming towards what should've been their destination.

Unfortunately, from the distance, their aim perception was poor, and they ended up blowing up Chris's private beach house. Doe, Laura, and Allister peeked under their blindfolds.

"Whoops!" Doe squeaked.

"We might be in trouble for that…" Allister whispered.

"That was Chris's place, right?" Laura questioned. The other two campers nodded. "Totally worth it!"

Meanwhile, the Gopher balloon was still heading towards the thousand foot cliff with the other Gophers right on their tail.

"Keep going!" Leti told them. "You guys still have about a minute left!"

"Kenny, you might want to move _in front_ of me," Raphael said after realizing his friend was actually aiming the fireworks from right behind him. "I really do like keeping my head."

"Got it," Kenny chuckled, feeling his away around to the front.

"Keep going!" Charity cheered. "You guys are _really_ close!"

"Yeah!" Effie agreed, nodding her head up and down. "Like, so close that you can see Chef's shiny bald head!"

"Let's hope Chef didn't hear that…" Rachel sighed.

"Okay, aim those fireworks!" Leti ordered. "A little to the left…now up…perfect! Got the match?"

"Yup!" Kenny nodded. He lit it quickly, and then stepped back and let the fireworks do their thing. Unlike the Bass, the Gophers did it perfectly and it landed right where Chef could see them perfectly.

"Oooh…" Chef marveled.

"Alright boys and girl!" Leti squealed. "Lower it down! I think we nailed it!"

"You got that right," Chris said from over the intercom. "Not only did the Bass miss their destination, but they _blew up my house_! Not cool!"

"Revenge is oh-so sweet," Charity laughed.

------------------------------------------------------------------

The eight Bass sat around on the stumps of their campfire. Chris had (surprise) a plate of marshmallow in his hands—but these marshmallows had little tiny sparklers sticking out of them.

"Great," Allister said sarcastically. "I've always wanted to see if I could catch a sparkler without getting my hands caught on fire."

"It's good you said that," Chris replied. "Because you're the first to get a marshmallow." But, to avoid more on-fire accidents, he just handed Allister the marshmallow instead of tossing it to him.

"Next is Kevin. Riley. Laura. Ashlynn. Thomas."

Left on the stumps was Rosetta and Doe. Riley was surprised at seeing Rosetta there.

"Campers, this is the final marshmallow of the night. If you don't get one, you must board the Dock of--"

"We know!" Rosetta said impatiently. "Skip the speech and go straight to the 'dramatic pause' thing."

"Sheesh, fine. Campers, today's final marshmallow goes to…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

Doe." Doe gave a forced smile as she grabbed her marshmallow and gave a quick hug to Kevin.

"Sorry Rosetta, it's time for you to--"

"Wait a second!" Riley snarled. "Why is _she_ going home? Rosetta didn't do _anything _wrong today!" Laura winked.

"Maybe we're all just sick of her," she remarked.

"Sick of her?" Riley let out a bitter laugh. "Screw that. _You_," he gave a hardened look towards Laura. "Have some sort of alliance going on. So I've got to wonder," he clenched his teeth. "Why _Rosetta_?!"

"It's okay Riley," Rosetta sighed, standing up closing her eyes. Riley let out a deep breath, and Rosetta hugged him tightly.

"I better not see your sorry ass at the Playa de Losers," She chuckled, giving Riley a weak grin. "I'll see you at the finale, hotshot." She then walked to the Dock of Shame, and gave a quick wave to her former teammates.

"Well, that's that," Chris finished, setting down the metal plate. "Adios campers! Till next challenge!"

----------------------------------------------------------------

Ashlynn followed Riley back to his cabins.

"It's not that big of a deal," she insisted. Seeing Riley like that made her feel queasy inside. "You'll see her again."

"She's not crazy enough to be given a second chance here," Riley replied, not looking towards his teammate. "And once this show is over, then what? She lives in Calcutta, Ashlynn. And I live in Manhattan. What are the chances of a long distance relationship like that working out?"

Ashlynn swallowed. Riley was now standing in his doorway.

"She really liked you though Riley. I'm sure she'll stay in touch with you. I know she can be really nice when she tries."

"Says the person who got her voted off in the first place," Riley remarked. Ashlynn stepped back in surprise that Riley knew. Riley just shook his head, smiled bitterly, and slammed the door on Ashlynn's face.

**Who voted for whom? (Ha, fear my grammar skills.)**

Allister—Laura

Kevin—Rosetta

Thomas—Doe

Riley—Doe

Rosetta—Doe

Doe—Rosetta

Ashlynn—Rosetta

Laura—Rosetta

Laura: One vote

Rosetta: Four votes

Doe: Three votes

**(A.N.) Oddly enough, when I read back on those last two scenes, Ludo's "Drunken Lament" keeps playing in my head. O.0 Anyways, a quick update for you guys before I go up north for New Year's Eve. I was reluctant to vote of Rosetta—but she had to go sometime, and I meant it when I said Riley was gonna stick for a long time.**

**Still on the subject of Riley, you guys will be seeing the meaner side of him in the next couple chapters.**

**Well, I hope you guys enjoyed it, and don't forget to push that big green button at the bottom of the page. Reviews make me happy! XD**

**Oh, and don't be afraid to be giving me suggestions or criticism—I'm not gonna kick your character off because of that. I already have the order down, and nothing said will change my mind. And, if you happen to give me criticism, and you're character happens to be the next on my list…well, that's just bad luck.**

**Sayonara!**

**Oh yeah, one more thing. MusicLover48, sorry that Ashlynn is disliked by Riley right now—but he would've done the same thing to anyone else that voted Rosetta off. And, Ashlynn will not end up hated by Riley nor Rosetta. ;)**


	16. The Water Olympics

**(I don't own anything in this chapter, 'cept for Riley. Hooray for commonly forgotten disclaimers! Oh, and there's a little bad language in here, but hopefully you guys can live with that. Enjoy!)**

The young gothic Charity stood at the ever-fabled Dock of Shame for her unwanted turn at the intro.

"Hey," she greeted with a lazy wave. "Last time on Total Drama Island…tensions were high as Laura conspired against Riley and Rosetta, right under their own noses. The ridiculous challenge of the day was one involving hot air balloons and fireworks. Yeah. Weird. I know. Too bad for Rosetta, who was the one to walk the Dock of Shame without doing anything wrong at all—much to a bitter Riley's chagrin." She took a short pause.

"So…will Laura and Ashlynn pay the price for the conspiracy? Will anyone actually _answer_ these questions we're always asking? And who will—OOF!" Charity's question was cut off when a surfboard whapped her in the head, courtesy of a stumbling Bridgette. Geoff, the party animal himself, was behind her.

"Hello dudes!" Geoff greeted with a wide grin. "How's it hangin'? Me and Bridge are gonna _rock_ this whole guest star thing! Isn't that right, Bridge?"

"Of course!" Bridgette laughed. "So, stay in tune for the most dramatic campfire ceremony yet…on Total! Drama! Island!" Bridgette then realized the Goth at her feet who was clutching her head in pain.

"Oh crap! Are you okay?" Bridgette yelped, turning away from Geoff and towards Charity, and unwittingly hit Geoff on the back of the head with a surfboard as well and making him fall in the lake.

"Don't you just _love_ these openings?" One of the cameramen remarked sarcastically, before switching it to the theme song.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The mess hall was awkwardly quiet, and worse then that; there were so many inward fights going on that the people _outside_ the conflict were half-expecting a fight to break out any minute. And not just the regular shouting matches. In fact, some wouldn't be surprised if a wrestling match broke out.

Riley was the worst.

"So…" he had started the breakfast with, his eyes flickering towards Ashlynn. "How's the latest evil plot coming? Planning more hearts to break, I presume?"

Yeah. It was a rather…uncomfortable morning.

Laura and Thomas were the only two who seemed totally unfazed by the whole thing. Laura was calm because she was used to the objections to her actions. Thomas…well, he was just being Thomas. However, he disliked the fighting and chose to sit with Rachel at the Gopher table.

While the two chatted with each other, the Gophers at least were getting along a _little_ better than the Bass.

"Where's Charity?" Kenny questioned, pushing his breakfast away from him.

"She went out to do today's intro and hasn't come back yet," Raphael replied, poking his sausage to make sure it was actually dead. "Frankly, I'm a little worried. Every time someone has gone missing, it's meant one thing and one thing only. Another ridiculous challenge."

"But Charity has already gone missing once," Leti remarked. "They've got to be more creative then that…right?"

"Not really," Thomas chuckled, who was holding hands with Rachel.

"Two challenges from last year were just like, toughing it out in the forest or something," Effie agreed. "And I mean, come on! _None_ of the challenges last year involved cage matches! I want the cage matches!"

"Don't give them ideas!" Leti growled.

"It can't get much worse," Rachel reminded them. "I mean, we've already done crap like get stuff blown up, avoid bears, have a car accident, have a train accident, and have a _missing host_ accident…"

"Come to think of it, they're not very creative _this_ season now are they?" Thomas questioned, raising an eyebrow in amusement.

And…the author just insulted herself _again_, damn it.

"I wonder if they're gonna do any challenges they did last year," Doe mused at the Bass table while she propped her feet on the top.

"They already had an _entire_ challenge for that," Laura told Doe, rolling her eyes. "And get your feet off of the table."

"Jeez, I was just trying to make conversation," Doe mumbled as she lowered her feet. "We're a team. We _should_ get along…right?"

"Well, usually teams don't stab each other in the back for no good reason, but we're not the typical team, now are we?" Riley mocked cynically.

"Will you let it go?!" Ashlynn shouted, her hands up in the air.

"Why should I?" Riley shot back.

"Because you're being a bit of a drama queen. Er…king," Raphael replied, walking over to the two fighters.

"Oh no, come on! Not another one of these!" Allister groaned. "It's bad enough that the three girls are still going at it!"

"Here's a hypothetical question," Riley smirked. "Now, if _he_ was on our team," he jerked a finger towards Raphael, "how would you feel if everyone voted him off, for no other good reason besides another teammate's vendetta?"

Ashlynn had no answer.

"Look," Raphael said impatiently. "Rosetta's gone. And I know that's hard for you or whatever. But bitching about it all day long isn't gonna bring her back." Riley's teeth clenched together.

**Confession Cam: We're a little frightened, personally.**

Raphael blinked slowly behind his widely framed glasses.

"I can't believe I just stood up for Ashlynn like that. I just protected her from _Riley_. If you need me, I think I'll go faint now."

The camera buzzed and switched to Riley.

"You think they have it bad?" Riley questioned. "When the one person I could stand is gone? The one I _really_ liked who actually liked me back? And, to top it off, half of my team that I _thought_ I could trust just stabbed me in the back like that? Yeah. And _I'm_ being the jerk."

More static.

"I feel like crap!" Ashlynn groaned. "I shouldn't have agreed to vote off Rose like that. But…" she blushed. "It was nice of Raphael to come save me like that. My nerdy knight in shining armor…" she chuckled.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

And, in the oddest contradiction to the horribly tense atmosphere, Geoff, Bridgette, Charity, Chef, and Chris burst through the front doors all laughing and joking. Well, Chef was a bit of an exception to that. They all glanced at the Bass table where Raphael, Ashlynn, and Riley were still glaring at each other.

"Whoa," Geoff mumbled. "Downers, much?"

"GEOFF!" Doe squealed, running over and tackling the tall teen. "Oh my gosh, how are Duncan and Courtney doing? I know you talk to them on your phone! And there's like, _no_ bars here, which sucks!"

"They're both doing fine," Bridgette laughed, helping Doe up. "Both of them are still plotting their challenge."

"Yeah, it's supposed to be totally _awesome_ and _wicked!_" Geoff proclaimed, leaping upwards. Doe crossed her arms.

"Well, you know that they can't fool me!" She grinned.

"All I know is that it involves motorcycles," Bridgette giggled. "And I wasn't even supposed to tell you that much." Just then, a phone rang. Bridgette raised her eyebrows in surprise, and pulled out her very own cell phone.

"_WHY DID YOU TELL THEM THAT?!_" Courtney's voice shouted from the other end of the line. Bridgette yelped, snapped the phone shut, and proceeded to chuck it out the window. Doe jumped as well at the sound of her sister's voice, but couldn't help but grin.

"You are so dead," Geoff sighed. Bridgette gulped.

"I know!" She groaned.

"Do _you_ guys have your challenge ready for today?" Kenny questioned from the Gopher's table.

"You bet!" Geoff responded. "Bridge and I are like, totally psyched to hang with you guys today!"

"The feeling's not mutual," Laura said snobbishly. Kevin smacked her on the head.

"Don't worry, we think you guys rock!" Kevin said cheerfully.

"Did you just hit me?!" Laura snapped.

"Sure did," Kevin grinned. "I learned from Allister."

**Confession Cam: I've got a lovely bunch of coconuts…**

Allister was failing at holding in his laughter.

"Oh man. I love this show."

--------------------------------------------------------------

"Alright campers! Meet us back here in ten minutes, and be in your bathing suits! Today's challenge is gonna be a wet and wild blast!"

"And when he says blast, he really means something involving alligators…" Riley remarked.

"How'd you know?" Bridgette asked. Riley did a quick face palm.

"Isn't that life-threatening?" Kenny asked, his face pale.

"Oh no, the alligators will be fine," Bridgette assured Kenny. Kenny rolled his eyes.

"That's not exactly what I meant, but thanks for telling me…"

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Looking good, Rachel!" Thomas grinned as he nudged his girlfriend, who blushed wildly in response.

"My sister tricked me. I told her to pack my one piece, not a bikini!" She said sheepishly.

"Your sister is my hero," Thomas laughed.

The other campers stood on the Dock of Shame along with them in their swimsuits. All of them were wondering where the heck their host and guest hosts were, that is, until the roar of two jet skis caught their attention. The jet skis zoomed towards them from the distance and then took a screeching halt at the Dock of Shame. When they braked, it created a huge wave that completely engulfed the campers.

"Well, now we don't have to worry about getting used to the water," Kevin laughed. Bridgette, Geoff, and Chris, hopped off of the jet skis, and grinned at the campers.

"Alright, you guys don't have to worry," Geoff told them. "The alligators don't come yet. This challenge is a three part challenge!"

"Yup!" Bridgette nodded. "The first part of the challenge is a jet ski race of sorts. You guys will be driving to the back of Camp Wawanakwa, to the Playa de Losers, and finally to Boney Island. At each of the three destinations is a big pole with two ribbons tied around it. The green ribbons are for the Bass, and the red ribbons are for the Gophers. Whatever team makes it here first with all three of their ribbons will win the first part of the challenge!"

"And, best of all, you get to choose which camper will be doing this!" Chris finished.

"Hooray?" Kenny mumbled.

"Oh, and one thing for the Bass dudes and dudettes," Geoff said quickly. "Since the Bass have seven people, one of you guys is gonna have to sit out this challenge."

"I'll do it," Laura volunteered instantly. "I think I deserve a break the most, anyways."

A few of the Bass rolled their eyes at this, but let the queen bee go back to the cabins.

"So guys, pick two campers from your team to go on the jet ski," Bridgette instructed. "And the rest of you meet us back here in another ten minutes or so."

"Oh, let me do it!" Doe squealed. "I love jet skis _so_ much!"

"If my ninja apprentice is doing it then I will as well!" Effie proclaimed, running to the driver's seat of the jet ski.

"I'll go with you Doe," Kevin said pleasantly as he climbed in the back and wrapped his arms around Doe's waist. Kenny awkwardly climbed back with Effie.

"Alright, ready? Set? GO!" Chris shouted, waving a green flag at the two teams. Doe, Kevin, Effie, and Kenny immediately started steering the jet ski towards the other side of camp Wawanakwa. Effie and Doe were driving as fast as humanely possible and glaring tauntingly at each other all the while. Kenny and Kevin were somewhat frightened for their lives.

"Go sweetie, go!" Doe exclaimed as they reached the other side of the island. A huge metal pole stuck out from the ground, and Effie and Kenny were already there. Kenny ripped the ribbon off, and started running back to the jet ski. Kevin was a few steps behind him.

And then, unfortunately, Kenny tripped.

"Dang it Kenny!" Effie shouted. Kevin climbed back in with Doe and the two zoomed off. Kenny, only a few seconds behind, got back in with Effie.

"Is that…a helicopter?" Kenny asked as the two teammates raced to catch up to their opponents. Effie followed his gaze upwards.

"YOU'LL NEVER GET ME ALI—oh, wait that's Geoff and Bridgette, not the RCMP," Effie breathed a sigh of relief.

"Sorry about this guys!" Bridgette sighed from the visible opening of the helicopter.

"Sorry about what?" Kevin asked Doe, who shrugged in response. Doe looked over her shoulder towards the helicopter, and saw an enormous boulder about to be dropped on the open water.

"Oh crap!" She exclaimed, stomping on the pedal. "Crap, crap, crap!" It was too late. The boulder hit and a gigantic wave erupted. Soon enough, Effie, Doe, Kevin, and Kenny, were riding the waves on a jet ski, which you _should not try at home_.

Meanwhile…

"Hey, what's that noise?" Rachel questioned as she and Thomas walked around the camp. Thomas paused, and listened.

"GYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!" Came the noise.

Rachel and Thomas exchanged glances.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ!"

"What the hell?" asked the Jamaican.

"Look!" Rachel ordered, pointing towards the lake. There, in the distance, were the four jet ski riding teens, who were surfing a wave that was as tall as the mess hall.

"That can't be good," Rachel whimpered.

And it wasn't. The four teens crashed landed on the Playa de Losers, where an amused Alice pointed out the way to the gigantic pole. From there, Effie managed to swim from the Playa de Losers, to Boney Island, back to Camp Wawanakwa. Bridgette and Geoff picked up a soaking the soaking wet and rather irritated three remaining teens.

"That was awesome!" Geoff exclaimed as they rode the helicopter back to camp.

Doe threw a fish at him.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"It's gator time!" Bridgette announced, clapping her hands together. The campers groaned. Doe, Effie, Kenny, and Kevin basically had the rest of the day off, but the rest of them were stuck. The group of teens followed Bridgette and Geoff deep into the forest, until they reached a large stream. The campers looked at the river, and yelped—for there were tons of alligators that skimmed along the top of the river.

"Dudes, you are going to be gator hopping! Basically, it's like stepping stones, but with gators! Whoever makes it to the end of the stream wins!"

"And if we get eaten?" Leti questioned.

"Um…" Bridgette frowned.

"So, who wants to do it?" Geoff asked pleasantly. Many of the Bass and Gophers immediately stepped away.

"Oh whatever," Charity sighed. "I'll go do it."

"Awesome! And the Bass?"

"Might as well…" Ashlynn muttered, taking her place besides Charity. The two smiled weakly at each other.

"At least you're among your own kind now Ashlynn," Riley said sarcastically. Ashlynn sighed, and gestured for Geoff and Bridgette to continue.

"Okay, get ready, get set, and GO!" Bridgette shouted.

The two jumped into the lake, balancing awkwardly on the tops of alligators. They moved rapidly, trying to not stay on an alligator for more time then necessary.

"This is insane!" Charity cried, jumping up to avoid an alligator's snap.

"What happens if we fall in?!" Ashlynn asked Geoff and Bridgette.

"You get disqualified!" They replied.

"Or eaten!" Ashlynn growled, but continued jumping her way through the stream. From the sidelines, Raphael was wondering whether to cheer for Charity since she was on his team, or cheer for Ashlynn because well…you know…

"Come on Ashlynn!" Allister shouted, as he and the Bass continued to run down the side of the stream to keep up with the two girls. "You can do it! You aren't afraid of those alligators! The alligators are afraid of you!"

"Charity, Charity, she's our girl! If she can't do it…" Leti paused, unsure how to finish her cheer.

"Okay, that's it! I can't do this!" Charity groaned. She jumped from the top of an alligator's head, to the safe ground. Ashlynn paused, unsure whether or not she had to finish.

"You can come off," Bridgette assured her. "Since Charity disqualified herself."

"It's okay," Rachel said, smiling and patting Charity on the shoulder. "They're alligators. They're creepy."

"You got that right," Charity sighed. "But now we're tied! What's the third event?"

"The third event…" Geoff started, grinning. "Is back out on the lake! Follow us! And bring your fighting skills, dudes!"

"Fighting skills?" Riley repeated. "Oh, this is gonna be rich…"

-------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Is that…a water trampoline?" Leti giggled, peering over to the distance of the lake.

"Uh-huh!" Bridgette laughed. "It has no net. Basically, the third and final challenge is to knock your opponent from the water trampoline into the lake."

"There are six of us left," Raphael remarked. "So I am guessing that it's going to be three two on two matches?"

"Exactly!" Geoff agreed. "But we'll be pairing up who's going against who. The pairs were Chris's idea, just so you know."

**Confession Cam: Dead man walking! Dead man walking!**

"Great. That would mean I'm against Riley. Who hates me. Oh joy," Raphael muttered while he was slumped in his seat.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------

"So…" Bridgette paused, dramatically. "The first round is Thomas versus Leti! Get ready!"

Chef pulled up to the Dock of Shame with the Boat of Losers to take the two out to the water trampoline. Thomas smiled at Leti, who grinned back at him.

"Okay, just because I think you're nice, it doesn't mean I'm gonna go easy on you!" She warned him.

"Same goes here!" Thomas nodded rapidly.

"Okay, on three!" Bridgette shouted in the distance. "One…two…three!"

Leti leaped at Thomas to tackle him, but Thomas ducked out of the way just in time. He slid on the watery fabric to the edge of the trampoline, then jumped up and attempted to tackle Leti as well. In a rather kung-fu-y fashion, Leti jumped in the air, spun around, and kicked Thomas down back on the ground.

"Ow!" Thomas sounded surprised. "You can hit hard!"

"I try!" Leti grinned as she charged at him again. Watching from the distance, Kenny couldn't help but smile at Leti.

**Confession Cam: Whatever floats your boat, dude**

"Is it just me, or are fighting girls kind of hot?" Kenny asked sheepishly.

---------------------------------------------------------------

Thomas spun out of the way of Leti's charge. They both were at the edges of the trampoline now, grinning at each other and getting their breath. Then, with cheesy war cries, they ran towards the middle. Thomas swung his leg out to try to trip Leti, but she jumped up and flipped backwards.

Thomas didn't give her a chance to get stand up.

He ran over, and rammed into Leti with his shoulder.

"Sorry!" He cried. Riley, hearing this from the dock, rolled his eyes.

**Confession Cam: It's not your typical fighting scene**

"It's a fight. You don't apologize for hitting someone in a fight, even if it is a girl," Riley remarked.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------

Leti slid towards the very edge of the trampoline, and disappeared out of sight. Thomas walked over, assuming she had fallen in.

"Leti?" He questioned, leaning over. "You okay?"

Leti's face poked out from the bottom of the trampoline. She had been hanging on the bottom!

"Never better," she replied, and pulled Thomas in.

"What just happened?" Riley asked in disbelief. "She didn't fall in?"

"Nope, she tricked Thomas," Raphael responded. "It looked like she did, I know. She was hanging on the edge and bottom of the trampoline, without actually touching the water. Since she never touched the water, she wasn't actually out. Right?" He turned towards Bridgette and Geoff, who nodded in response.

"First point goes to the Gophers!" Geoff announced. "The next two dudes going at it will be…Riley and Raphael!"

Riley glanced at Raphael, and smirked.

Raphael gulped.

Much to everyone's relief, Thomas and Leti made it off the boat, laughing with each other. Riley and Raphael climbed in wordlessly, and Chef drove them off into the distance. They climbed out, stood on the trampoline, and stared each other down.

"You can just jump off right now," Riley offered. "Then I wouldn't have to kick your butt." Raphael shook his head.

"Your funeral," Riley said, shrugging nonchalantly.

"Three…two…one…go!" Geoff shouted from the dock. Neither one of them moved, apparently waiting for the other to make the first move. Riley rolled his eyes, and then darted to the left of the trampoline, and then to the right. He kept at it for a while until finally jumping towards Raphael and attempting to simply push him off.

Raphael reacted as quickly as he could, and somersaulted out of the way. Riley jumped into the air and slammed his heel into Raphael's back. Raphael yelped, stood up, and turned around.

"That's gonna leave a mark," Raphael sighed.

"Don't say I didn't warn you!" Riley reminded him, and charged towards the teen once again. Raphael crossed his arms in an 'x', and Riley slammed into Raphael, knocking them both to the ground.

"Oh this is a waste of time!" Riley growled as he stood up. He seized Raphael by the collar, carried him over his shoulders firefighter style, and simply threw him into the lake, despite Raphael's numerous protests.

"And…we have a winner!" Bridgette said awkwardly.

"That was weird," Allister remarked. "I suppose it's me and you next, hm Rachel?" He questioned, turning towards the shy girl besides him. Rachel paled.

"I can't!" She said quickly. "I'm a pacifist! It was one thing for me to be throwing items like dodge balls at people in the kart racing challenge, but actual punches and kicks…" she winced. "I don't think I can!"

"You have to!" Leti cried. "You're the last one we have left!"

"Gah…" Rachel groaned. "I can't. It would kill me inside."

"If you aren't going to fight," Bridgette sighed. "Then I suppose that means Allister wins by default. The Bass win the Water Olympics challenge!"

"All right!" Thomas cheered, giving high fives to both Allister and Riley. He turned towards Raphael, Rachel, and Leti and grinned at them too. "Nice try you guys. And good game!"

"Not good enough," Raphael sighed, shaking his head. He turned towards his other two teammates. "See you guys at the campfire."

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Later that night, Leti was stopped on her way to the cabin by both Doe and Effie.

"Um…hi?" Leti asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Hi!" Effie chirped. "We know that you don't like us, like, very much, but we think that you shouldn't _not_ like us, you know?"

"Mind elaborating?" Leti chuckled.

"Well, we have no more reason to fight," Doe shifted her feet slightly. "And there's already another fight going on…and we don't have to be all buddy-buddy, but we should get along, right? And, I know we can be loud at times, but we'll cut back on the matchmaking if it makes you feel better!"

"Well…" Leti hesitated.

"And besides, confrontation is bad for complexion!" Effie said hurriedly. Doe couldn't help but laugh softly.

_"Nice improvising, Effie,"_ Doe thought.

Leti caved.

"All right then. Sort-of friends?"

"Sort-of friends," Effie and Doe agreed in unison. It was the oddest truce ever to grace Camp Wawanakwa.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------

"I'm sorry, what was that?" Raphael politely asked Ashlynn as they sat together on the beach. Water still was in his ears.

"I _said_," Ashlynn repeated. "I hope you stay in the competition after tonight. Riley's kind of scaring me, he's acting like such a jerk."

Raphael sighed.

"I know. It's like Rosetta was the thing balancing his mean side out, she's probably the only one he actually listens to…" Raphael paused, and then an idea began to form. "That's it!"

"What's it?" Ashlynn questioned.

"I think I have an idea," Raphael replied, as he began to stand up. "All I need is a phone call, a piece of paper, a pen, and a heck of a lot of luck."

"This better be a good plan," Ashlynn laughed.

"Don't worry, it is," Raphael grinned. "All we need is the consent from two people."

"And those two people would be…?" Ashlynn prompted.

"The first one would be a certain female ousted camper, and the second would be the evil host we all know and sort of hate."

"Raphael, what's going on in your head right now?" Ashlynn asked, poking Raphael's forehead with a curious expression.

"An idea," Raphael repeated. "Let's just hope Chris is short on challenge ideas…"

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Gophers, you guys are seriously starting to suck," Chris remarked, grinning at the much-tortured campers. Bridgette and Geoff stood at his side.

"Can you just get on with it?" Raphael asked, exasperated.

"Fine, fine. Leti. Kenny. Effie. Charity." The four Gophers came up and grabbed their marshmallows. "Alright, Raphael and Rachel. Who's going home tonight? The final marshmallow goes to…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

Raphael." Raphael let out a breath he had been holding, and grabbed his tossed marshmallow.

"Sorry, Rachel," Bridgette sighed. "But it's time for you to walk the Dock of Shame, catch the Boat of Losers, and never come back…"

"Ever!" Geoff finished.

"Well, it was fun guys," Rachel remarked with a smile. "I'll see you guys at the Playa de Losers. Or not."

"Rachel, wait!" Thomas shouted, running towards his girlfriend from the Bass cabin. He stopped in front of her, and they both smiled at each other.

"I'll miss you Thomas!" Rachel cried.

"I'll miss you too!" Thomas sighed. They both leaned forward to kiss each other, but as always, just at the last minute, Chef grabbed Rachel by the collar and threw her in the Boat of Losers. The boat sped off.

Thomas sighed.

"Well, that's that," he mused. "Night, everyone."

**Confession Cam: It's aggravating, really**

"See, why couldn't Riley handle Rosetta leaving like that?" Raphael asked, heaving a long sigh.

Buzz! The camera switched to Thomas.

"I'll miss Rachel a lot…" Thomas mused. "But I can't see why Riley was this angry when it happened to him," he paused. "Well, Rosetta _didn't_ do anything to be sent home…but it doesn't mean you should be snapping at everybody…" he hesitated. "But it's like your own teammates backstabbed you…but…" he went on like that for a while.

--------------------------------------------------------------------

Chris shut the door on his newly built beach house and grinned to himself. Another challenge done successfully. The guest stars were gone, and two more would be coming tomorrow.

But then, much to his aggravation, a knock on the door disturbed his pleasant state.

Irritably, he opened the door yet again, but saw nobody there. He looked down, and spotted an envelope and the doorstep.

"What's this?" He wondered, picking it up. The host opened it up and curiously read it over.

"Huh. That's interesting."

**Who voted for whom?**

Charity—Raphael

Raphael—Rachel

Leti—Rachel

Effie—Rachel

Rachel—Raphael

Kenny—Rachel

Raphael: Two votes

Rachel: Four votes

**(A.N) And…there you go? I hope everyone had a nice New Year's Eve & Day. Personally, I had a pretty nice one—except for a bat I was a bit too close for comfort with—the bat was as big as my friggin' face! Besides that though, I've got good news and bad news. The good news is that I have all the challenges planned all the way to the semifinals. The bad news…is… (Ugh) SCHOOL is starting. Blech. Updates might be fast or slow, I have no clue. **

**Oh, and check out the new poll.**

**See you guys later!**

**And of course, apologies to theredone1223 for eliminating Rachel.**


	17. Arrr ya ready?

**(Oh for the love of…I cannot believe I actually named the title that. Nothing like a bit of foreshadowing, eh? Anyways, I own Riley; everything else belongs to either TV folks or you guys. Enjoy!)**

"Oh, just get up there already!"

"I'm not, I repeat _not_, doing this."

Much to the cameramen's mixture of irritation and confusion—Allister and Charity were having an argument off-screen.

"We have a _roster_ and it's _your turn_!" Charity growled. More protests came from Allister—until a loud yelp was heard, and Allister walked on screen, thoroughly annoyed and having an unusually large boot print on his face—courtesy of a certain Goth.

The cameramen stifled laughs.

"Last time, on Total Drama Island…" the loner sighed as he examined his script. "It was a wet and wild blast as Geoff and Bridgette guest stared and had the campers compete in a soaking triathlon. Riley and Ashlynn still were going at it over Rosetta's elimination—and Raphael got himself involved…bad mistake. Riley's attention shifted from Ashlynn to Raphael, and the two 'R' boys now have an ongoing rivalry. All in all, it was poor Rachel who walked the Dock of Shame due to her pacifistic ways. So, what will become of this enmity? Will more couples be broken apart? And who will…" Allister paused for a brief moment, and appeared to be staring in the distance.

"Wha…" he blinked slowly, apparently scrutinizing an object in the distance. After a few brief moments, his jaw dropped and his eyes widened. "What the heck is that?!"

Cue intro music.

-------------------------------------------------------------

Doe drummed her fingers absentmindedly on the mess hall table, zoned off in her own world. Because of this, she missed a lot of things which included the following: screaming, people running around in circles outside, Effie chasing everyone with a bazooka, and a hand that poked its way out of a baked bean can from Chef's kitchen and scurried off right out the door. On second thought, that was a bit of a typical morning for Camp Wawanakwa now wasn't it?

Kevin slid into the spot right in front of Doe feeling breathless and excited.

"Hey!" He exclaimed, waving a hand in front of Doe's sleepy face. "Did you see what's outside?" Doe blinked slowly, and smiled at Kevin.

"No. What?"

"It's…" Kevin laughed awkwardly, as if not believing he was about to say it. "It's er…a pirate ship."

Doe's eye twitched a little.

"You're joking."

"Actually, he's not," Allister remarked as he pushed opened the door and strolled inside. "It's gigantic, I might add. The whole thing took out the Dock of Shame."

"Why a pirate ship?" Doe questioned, standing up and looking out the window to see if the ship was in view.

"Probably for the challenge," Allister said, shrugging. "Two guest stars are coming. I didn't see who was driving it though."

"Is the challenge going to start soon then?" Doe asked.

"Not yet," Kevin said, shaking his head. "We're supposed to have breakfast first. Why are you here so early, anyways?"

Doe frowned.

"I couldn't sleep. I have a lot on my mind, I guess. Everybody else is coming soon, right?"

Kevin nodded, but looked at Doe with concern.

**Confession Cam: We once had a man missing an eye and a leg. We called him Larry.**

"I'm feeling kind of edgy too," Kevin sighed. "Doe, Effie, and Leti aren't fighting anymore…but that's not to say everything else is going nicely. It's TDI, after all," he paused, and then grinned. "But we've always got to look at the cup half full, don't we? At least some of us are getting along nicely!"

------------------------------------------------------------------------

The other ten campers not already in the mess hall piled in, taking their seats and conversing to themselves.

"Chris isn't going to be so happy about that dock," Raphael chuckled, pushing up his glasses. He then frowned a little. "Is the ship for the challenge today?"

"What else would it be for?" Leti replied. "Hopefully not another god-awful field trip. That train ride was really too much for me…"

"Definitely," Kenny agreed with a sigh. "I think seeing Chef with a gun is once enough for me."

"Personally I'm shooting for no guns whatsoever," Charity laughed. "I'm also shooting for not seeing him with a dress again," she shuddered, and the other Gophers did the same.

"YOU GOT A PROBLEM WITH MY DRESSES, FOOL?!" Chef's voice roared from inside the kitchen. Charity had to duck to avoid a frying pan to the head.

"Nope!" She squeaked, crawling under the table.

"I bet it's Lindsay and Tyler in that pirate ship," Raphael continued. "I doubt Lindsay has a boat license. Or a driver's license. Or a license for anything that moves, for that matter."

"Ooo!" Effie clapped her hands together. "There was this one time that Izzy stole a motorcycle, but a cop pulled her over so she started kicked him in the shin and started steering the motorcycle with her feet, just in case the cop had a profile on her hands! I guess the moral of the story is to never wear underwear," Effie proclaimed, nodding solemnly.

The other Gophers just stared at her.

Over at the Bass table, Laura insisted on talking strategy.

"What's there to worry about?" Thomas questioned, twirling the spoon in his unusually soggy cereal. "We have two more players then they do."

"But we can't let our guard down," Ashlynn murmured. "We don't want to lose any teammates for no good reason."

"You guys worry too much!" Doe laughed.

"Agreed," Riley remarked. "They don't exactly have the best team over there. What, are we supposed to be afraid of a blonde bimbo, a deranged psychopath, a talkative Goth, a shy scaredy-cat, and a pathetic excuse for a human being?"

Ashlynn tensed at the last one, and Riley smirked.

"Oh, I'm sorry, did me insulting your boyfriend hurt? That's too bad."

**Confession Cam: I've got a jar of dirt!**

Ashlynn let out an irritated groan.

"I swear, sometimes I just want to punch him in the face!"

Static enveloped the screen.

"What can I say?" Riley shrugged. "I hold a grudge."

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Maybe we should take the fighting down a notch," Allister cautioned.

"Really?" Laura grinned. "I find this pretty amusing."

"Well you're an evil and twisted so you don't count," Kevin remarked. Laura growled, but before she could utter a smart remark—Chris strode through the door.

"Hello ladies and gents!" He greeted, wearing his trademark grin and, although the campers saw it coming, a pirate hat. "How's it going? Arrr ye ready for today's challenge?"

"Oh dear God," Raphael groaned, looking upwards. "Anything but the phony pirate accent! I beg you!"

"That's too bad matey!" Chris laughed with his hands on his hips.

"Only girls do that," Charity reminded him, staring at his arms with a goofy grin. Chris scowled and crossed his arms instead.

"As I was saying, campers get ready for the eleventh challenge! Now, we had an unusual request brought to my doorstep, but instead of that--"

"NO!" Raphael groaned, so loudly that the others all turned to stare at him.

"Raphael, did you know something about a request I got…?" Chris asked, a wicked grin growing.

"Um…of course not! I was just hoping that, you know, instead of pirates this challenge would be about…er…vampires?" was the somewhat lacking excuse thought up by the awkward one.

**Confession Cam: And I owe them all money…**

"That was such a lame excuse," Chris laughed. "But wait until he sees the next challenge. If he does see the next challenge. Hey, I don't know who these campers will vote for," he shrugged.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Anyways, care to continue?" Kevin laughed.

"Alright!" Chris nodded. "Anyways, say hello to your two guest stars and the destroyers of my Dock of Shame…Katie and Sadie!"

The two sort-of twin girls ran through the door, squealing and grinning.

"Hi everyone!" Katie chirped. "We are like, _so_ excited to be your guest stars today! Isn't that right, Sadie?"

"Totally!" Sadie agreed, jumping up and down. "And the pirate ship we drove was _so fetch_!"

"I'm really curious now," Doe giggled. "Where did you guys get a pirate ship in the first place?"

"Pirates-R-Us!" Katie replied. "Duh!"

"Okay…" Doe said awkwardly and let the subject drop.

"So what's the challenge?" Kenny asked excitedly.

"Follow us and find out!" The two girls sang in unison, running out the door towards the gigantic pirate ship in the distance. The other campers ran out instantly—shoving and pushing—save for Riley, who stuck around just to trip Raphael on his way out. The awkward one stood up, glared at the redhead, kicked him in the shin and ran off.

**Confession Cam: But why is the rum gone?!**

"You'd think I could have come up with something a bit more creative then that," Raphael remarked.

--------------------------------------------------------------------

The twelve remaining campers crowded around in front of the humongous pirate ship, staring at the two guests who were standing right in front of the large vessel. Of course, despite how cliché it already was, two large treasure chests were standing in between the two girls.

"MINE!" Effie shouted, making a mad grab for the possible gold. Doe held her back.

"These _aren't_ gold!" Sadie said indignantly as she knelt down to open the chests. "These are your invincibility keys!" The chests flipped open to reveal hundreds of marshmallows inside.

"Don't get the wrong idea…" Katie laughed. "It doesn't mean you get invincibility for the next hundred rounds--"

"There isn't another hundred challenges, Katie!"

"I _know _that, Sadie!"

The teens stood, glaring at each other, until Kenny cleared his throat in an attempt to get the two girls going again.

"As I was saying before I was so _rudely interrupted_, this is for the team who wins! You get to eat all the marshmallows!"

"Can't it be something that's not pure sugar?" Leti begged, rubbing her empty stomach. "Like…waffles, or something?"

"Well, we needed the chests to be light!" Katie replied.

"How come?" Allister questioned.

"Because…today you two teams are going to be playing _Capture the Treasure Chest!_ It's basically like Capture the Flag, but you're going to be playing on top of the pirate ship, and instead of tagging we have these!" Sadie grinned, holding out a sack in front of the campers. She turned the sack upside down, and tons of swords came out.

"Do you guys _want_ us do have missing limbs?!" Kevin shouted, backing up a few feet from the swords.

"Sheesh," Katie rolled her eyes. "These aren't those super-sharp swords! These are completely blunt." To prove her point, Katie whapped Sadie upside the head with one. Sadie rubbed her head and glared at Katie irritably, but her head was still on her shoulders at least. The campers let out sighs of relief.

"Oh wait!" Katie giggled. "I forgot to turn it on!" She flipped a switch and whapped Sadie yet again. This time, a shock erupted from the blow. Sadie yelped, and fell to the ground. The chubby one picked up a sword and hit Katie with it. The two girls got into a cat fight, until the campers decided to break it up.

The two guest girls stared at each other with their clothes in cinders. Then, blubbering, they immediately began their apologies.

"I'm sorry I interrupted you Katie!"

"I'm sorry I hit you with a sword, Sadie!"

"I'm sorry I hit you with a sword too!"

"You're the best friend I've ever had!" The two girls finished in unison, before going into a gigantic hug. Katie unwittingly still had the sword in her hand and ended up shocking Sadie…again.

"Anyways!" Katie said quickly as she stood up. "Like I was saying…it's basically just a game of Capture the Flag—save for the setting, the tagging methods, and the flag. The flag, as you might've guessed…are the chests! _That's_ why we needed them to be light!"

"The Bass have two more players than we do," Kenny pointed out. "Do two of them sit out, or what?"

Sadie grinned evilly.

"Nope. Seven against five till the end…good luck Gophers!"

"We're going to need it!" Charity groaned.

Katie and Sadie led the twelve campers up a ladder on the side of the boat. When they got to the top, they saw that the ship had one long line down the middle which was obviously the mark for the Bass territory and the Gopher territory.

"Is there a 'jail' in this game?" Ashlynn asked.

"Yup!" Katie responded. "As boring as they are, the Gopher jail is that crate, on the Bass jail is that first step on those three steps over to the right!"

Nodding, the Bass went to the right and the Gophers went to the left, dragging their chests along with them. Since there wasn't exactly a hiding spot available for the chests, they just set them on the ends of each of their sides.

"Let's do it!" Kevin said cheerfully. "Let's have a good clean game!"

Laura ran her fingers over her (off) blade and smirked.

"Or rather, let's not."

"And on that note…" Sadie remarked. "Ready…set…PLAY FLAG!"

"Play flag?" Katie questioned with a raised eyebrow.

"Well yeah, because shouting 'play capture the flag' is too long…" Sadie pouted.

Ignoring the two girls' chatter, the two teams instantly began playing. Doe and Effie stepped right near the boundary line and grinned at each other, waving their swords dauntingly.

"Ready?" Doe asked.

"I was born ready!" Effie shouted. Then, to the surprise of the others, the two girls climbed up the mast of the ship and instantly engaged in a sword duel. They ran towards each other, clash after clash, and ceasing to tire.

"You cannot defeat me!" Doe proclaimed. Effie raised an eyebrow.

"Oh yes I can, young ninja!" She struck a pose. "EYE OF THE CRANE! HI YI YI YI YI!"

The two girls continued to fight, and the others shook themselves from the odd spectacle.

"Alright…" Laura whispered to Ashlynn. "You go to the right, and I'll go the left. Then we'll make a break for it."

Ashlynn shrugged.

"If you say so."

The two girls went over to the opposite ends of their side, glanced at each other, and then nodded. They went into a mad sprint for the chest.

Raphael was the one in Ashlynn's way. The two stared at each other—holding their swords—but a familiar feeling of awkwardness swept them over. They smiled at each other—Raphael blushing—and just stood there. That is, until Charity walked over, gave Raphael a "You are so weird" look and hit Ashlynn in the head. Ashlynn groaned and walked over to the crate.

Meanwhile, Laura had successfully seized the crate and was trying to return to her side. But, a few yards from her destination, a sword dropped from the sky and right onto her head.

"Whoops!" Effie yelped. She turned to Doe. "I shall return!" Effie slid down the sails back onto the ground. She picked up her sword, threw Laura into jail, and climbed back up to continue her fight with Doe.

"Idiots…" Allister sighed, shaking his head. He sneaked over to the boundary unnoticed, and took a leap to tag Ashlynn. The two's hands met, and they safely walked back to the Bass side.

"What about me?!" Laura growled, stomping her foot.

"We'll remember! Eventually!" was Allister's reply.

In contradiction to Allister's words, it was actually Riley who reached Laura in jail to save her, and he did it fairly quick. However, while he left, Leti had gotten a good distance into their sides.

"Sorry about this!" Thomas said quickly as he swiped his sword towards Leti's legs. Leti jumped and managed to get out of the sword's range.

"Yes!" She hissed to herself, grabbing hold of the Bass chest. She began to run back, but by that time Laura and Riley had made it back and the two hit her with their swords. A dizzy Leti sat down on the Bass stair jail.

"Maybe…it's time to take a nap…" she slurred, looking upwards.

"Are you gonna rescue her?" Doe questioned Effie as they both stared each other down still on top of the mast.

"Nah," Effie laughed. "Let's let her prince do it."

Kenny, the 'prince', edged closer to the boundary line fearfully.

"Ah, I'll help you," Charity offered as he stepped next to his Kenny.

"How?" Kenny asked. Charity gave a grim smile. Then, she immediately ran down the center of the Bass side, waving her sword like a madwoman. Kenny, grabbing the opportunity, sneaked to the back and tagged Leti back in.

Once Charity saw that they made it back, she decided spur-of-the-moment to try and grab the chest. She nabbed it, and Riley threw his sword at her. It flew over Charity's head and got lodged into the mast's pole.

"You missed!" Charity taunted. Riley grinned, and flexed his arm slightly. Charity, surprised, looked down to see a tiny thin wire that had been wrapped around the sword's hilt and ran all the way back to Riley's hand.

"What kind of person carries wire around with them?" Charity groaned. Riley shrugged.

"You never know when it'll come in handy," he replied. He pulled his hand back, and the sword flew back towards Charity. She attempted to jump out of the way but the sword hit her legs and she tripped. She dropped the Bass chest and it slid even closer to the boundary. Riley paled.

"Gah!" Ashlynn yelped. "Someone, go up there and guard it! We're not allowed to move it away!"

Kevin did so, and glared threateningly at any Gopher who got even relatively close to the chest.

"This could go on for a long time!" Charity panted.

"We need a stroke of luck," Kenny agreed. "We're this close to winning."

"Aye, but your luck has just run out!" Doe shouted. The two turned their heads upwards towards the brunette who had seemed to cease her duel with her crazy friend. Doe whipped her sword out, and cut a rope that had been completely tied around the mast. The rope's knot broke, and Doe grabbed an edge of it as it propelled her downwards.

She swung around in an impressive display, and flew in the air until she finally landed on the chest.

"But that's the farthest you'll get!" Effie cackled as she slid down as well and landed in front of Doe. "Savvy?"

Suddenly, Doe gasped and pointed towards her right. "Look! Over there!" Effie actually turned her head, and Doe hurled the chest overheads.

"I got it!" Leti cried as she ran over to intercept it. She grabbed the chest before it crossed their boundary, and dropped it on the ground. Both chests were now exceptionally close to the boundary line.

While Doe and Effie had made a big show of exiting their fight, Raphael had managed to rescue Charity from 'jail'.

"I've got an idea…" Raphael whispered, as the two stood back in their safe territory. "Just…distract everyone, okay?"

"Got it!" Charity saluted. "HEY! EVERYONE!" Everyone turned to look at her, and she turned bright red, unsure what to say. "Um…kumquats are going to take over the world!"

"NOOOOO!" Effie howled in agony. "I…I trusted those kumquats!"

"Keep talking Effie!" Charity said in a hushed tone. Effie was happy to oblige.

"Oh, what horrors continue from this agonizing display of malicious fruit! What is next, our trusted watermelon? I cry, I wither, I fall…" She fell to the ground, sniffling. "I see the light! I go towards the light! Is that you, mommy?" She fell silent for a moment and then for some odd reason shouted—"I SAID GOOD DAY!!"

That ridiculous distraction was enough for Raphael to climb around the side of the side of the boat, (something that took a fairly large amount of effort for the boat had little footholds), climb over the top near the Bass's chest, and with a casual kick, knock it over to the Gopher side.

"GOPHERS WIN!" Katie and Sadie shouted so suddenly that it surprised everyone who had been watching Effie's tragic acting with amusement.

"What?" Kevin asked in surprise. He looked over to where had been guarding the chest, and turned bright red upon seeing it on the other side. He looked around in confusion, until he saw the culprit Raphael.

"Sorry…" Raphael apologized with a weak smile.

"No worries," Kevin said, smiling. "That was a good move!"

Laura begged to differ.

"How did you let HIM sneak pass?!" The queen bee shrieked.

Kevin shrugged.

"It was a tricky move. I didn't see you spotting him, either."

"He's got a point!" Doe chirped, running over to her boyfriend protectively.

"Oh man…" Thomas groaned. "This is going to be one close campfire."

"And we'll see you Bass there!" Katie and Sadie remarked, before disappearing off of the pirate ship.

--------------------------------------------------------------------

The seven Bass sat around the campfire, awaiting their fate yet again. Chris stood in front of them holding the old familiar marshmallow plate, and Katie/Sadie stood nearby.

**Confession Cam: This is not my vessel. My vessel is magnificent, and fierce and huge-ish and gone. Why is it gone?**

Each camper was giving their thoughts to who should go home.

"You screwed up, and I know I'm on the verge of being voted off myself." Riley.

"I honestly can't take another second with you here!" Ashlynn.

"I've got to make sure he stays, and you're starting to bug everyone else anyways!" Doe.

"No one really likes you, even though you already knew that." Kevin.

"You had one job and you got distracted." Allister.

"You cost us the whole game!" Laura.

"This was a tough decision, mon. My vote won't affect the results too much, will it?" Thomas.

"Yikes! We like, saw who's going home, and we just like, _know_ there's gonna be a fight." Katie and Sadie.

----------------------------------------------------------------

"The first marshmallow goes to…Doe." Chris announced. The brunette breathed a sigh of relief, and hopped up to get her treat. "Next is Ashlynn. Thomas. Laura. Allister."

The final two were Kevin and Riley.

"Kevin…you allowed Raphael to score the Gophers a win. And Riley…you are starting to take your bitterness too far. The final marshmallow goes to…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

Riley."

The redhead nodded, and took his sugary safety. Doe shook her head sadly.

"You're kidding!" Ashlynn said angrily as she turned to her teammates. "You're letting Riley stay?"

"Kevin messed up," Allister reminded her.

"At least he's a better person!" Ashlynn retorted.

"Well, we're not the ones Riley's angry at so we don't really care," Laura remarked, popping her marshmallow into her mouth.

"Kevin…" Doe sighed, reaching over to hug her ousted boyfriend. "I'll really miss you! You're the best, okay? Say hi to Rosetta and the others to me!"

"I will!" Kevin assured her, smiling widely. "Don't worry—we're gonna have a party over at the Playa de Losers! Win it all for me, okay?"

Doe smiled.

"You got it."

Kevin walked solemnly waded into the water since there was no Dock of Shame, climbed into the Boat of Losers along with Katie and Sadie, and he sped off into the night.

Throughout the whole ceremony, Riley never said a word.

**Confession Cam: I think we've all arrived at a very special place. Spiritually, ecumenically, grammatically…**

"He looked sad," Doe said softly. "I think maybe he _is_ starting to feel guilty.

Buzz! The camera switched to Riley.

"Don't think I'm going soft, okay?" He sighed. "I just am missing Rosetta…a lot. Half of me sort-of wants to apologize to Ashlynn and _maybe_ Raphael, the other half of me is still just _pissed off._"

The camera switched to Ashlynn.

"There are only so many insults you can take before you've had enough," she murmured.

------------------------------------------------------------------------

_"He's really acting screwy, huh? Alright, I can slap some sense into him. If you can get him over here, that is."_

"I can try," Raphael sighed. "Chris either got rid of the idea or is just messing with me."

_"With him, who knows? Oh wait a second, Kevin was the…eleventh person voted off then, right?"_

Raphael paused. "Yeah. He was."

_"For a nerd, you're pretty clueless at math. Eleven people here, and eleven people still in the game, doesn't that make more sense for your idea?"_

Raphael turned bright red. "My mistake."

_"Got that right. Keep your hopes up for next challenge."_

"Will do. Thanks, Rosetta."

_"No problem."_

Raphael snapped his phone shut. All he could do now was wait.

**Who voted for whom?**

Riley—Kevin

Allister—Kevin

Kevin—Laura

Ashlynn—Riley

Doe—Riley

Thomas—Kevin

Laura—Kevin

Riley: Two votes

Kevin: Four votes

Laura: One vote

**(A.N.) And so ends another chapter fueled by hot chocolate and graham crackers. I hope you guys liked it. My apologies to TDIFan1, but it's Kevin's turn to walk the non-existing Dock of Shame…**

**Er…not much to say, really. Um…review? And…have a nice day? XD**


	18. Escape to the PDL

"Last time on Total Drama Island!" Doe began. Since the Dock of Shame had still not been replaced, the brunette was simply doing her intro from outside the Bass girl cabin. "The two twin BFFFL's guest starred, baring not only a pirate ship in their wake—but two chests full of marshmallows and shocking swords. What followed was a rather messed up game of Capture the Flag. There were dramatic sword fights, failing tactics, and of course…many, many blows to the head."

She paused, and her eyes widened considerably.

"And it was my boy who had to go!" She sniffled. "Kevin! I miss you, baby! I really want to tell you that I'll always remember you and that I'll go really far and most importantly I--"

"Hey campers, listen up!" Chris cut her off from over the intercom. "From now on, teams are ELIMINATED! You got that? They're eliminated early! So…yeah! Living arrangements stay the same until further notice! That's all, folks!"

Doe blinked slowly.

"Whoa…that was…unexpected. But anyways…" she paused. "What was I talking about again? Er…whatever. Sit back for the possibly-most-dramatic campfire ceremony yet, on Total! Drama! _Island_!"

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"So…many…marshmallows…" Leti groaned. She and Kenny sat near each other at the girls' Gopher cabin, leaning against each other for support. "Winning…and _eating_ all those marshmallows might've not been such a good idea after all."

"How many did we eat?" Kenny asked weakly.

"I lost track after the hundredth."

Kenny groaned.

"Oh dear God…"

Leti gave a sheepish smile and cracked her neck. "Well, it was actual food so that much is good, I s'pose."

"By the way," Kenny sighed, changing the subject. "Why are they eliminating teams early?"

"How should I now?" Leti replied with an innocent shrug. "You've gotta wonder what's inside Chris's head…"

"Probably just more ways to torture us."

Leti grinned.

"Probably," she agreed.

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"Hey mon, are you sunburned?" Thomas questioned as he, Allister, and Charity walked around the Wawanakwa beach.

"No, that would just be Charity's boot mark on my face. It's red, isn't it?"

"Yes," Charity said sheepishly. "I said I was sorry. It's not my fault."

"What's not your fault? Does your boot have a mind of its own?" Allister teased, a small smile coming to him.

"What I meant was that it's not my fault you wouldn't do the intro!" Charity laughed. "What were you afraid of, anyways?"

"Making an idiot of himself?" Thomas guessed.

"Oh, what's the worst that could've happened?" Charity questioned.

"They always set up something ridiculous to happen after the contestant finishes the intro. Or, they have a twist. Or, in my case, something ridiculous happens before the intro. Thanks for deciding which one would happen to me."

"Well I got whapped in the head with a surfboard," Charity reminded him. "And besides, if you had listened to me nothing dangerous would've happened to you at all! Except you stopping to see the boat! So, in a way, it's not really my fault that you got kicked in the first place…" she nodded, having apparently proved her point.

"Your logic astounds me," Allister chuckled.

"Well, I try," Charity giggled.

Thomas smiled at them, but seeing the couple made him start to really miss Rachel.

"Missing Rachel?" Allister guessed, much to Thomas's own surprise.

"Yeah. How'd you know, mon?"

"Ah…I guess I have a tendency to--"

"Guess what people are thinking?" Charity interrupted. Allister eyed her with a raised eyebrow.

"Yeah. But really it only happens correctly--"

"Once in a while?" Charity finished. Allister nodded, albeit a tad irritated. Thomas had to hold in his laughter.

"But I really guess it's all do to my--" Allister started again.

"Female intuition?" Charity burst out, and then doubled over in laughter.

"Stop finishing my sentences!" was the loner's retort.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------

Riley toyed with the tools in his hand, bending over an odd robot-like machine. He cussed under his breath after unsuccessfully trying to get the same part to stick after more then ten tries.

"Damn machine," he sighed.

"Need some help?" A voice questioned. Riley turned his head and was surprised to see Laura standing there. He quickly turned his head back to his own odd invention.

"Go away," he snapped.

"Still upset about that whole Rosetta thing?" Laura whined. "Come on, no hard feelings."

"You've got five seconds before I throw a friggin' wrench at you," Riley said bluntly.

"Oh come on," Laura laughed. "It was pure tactic. Rosetta was tough competition."

"And she was _on our team_."

"All's fair in love and war," Laura reminded him nonchalantly. "With the way you're acting though, I'd say you're in dire need of a life saver."

"Cut the intro crap. You want an alliance, I know. I'm not stupid though. How do I know you won't turn around and stab me in the back?"

"Because I need this too," Laura replied. "Ashlynn I sort-of have going with me, although she's due for a change any second. People here don't want me to keep me on this season, considering I'm supposed to be the new Heather and whatnot."

"They don't want to keep you on for good reasons, Stinger."

"Aye, but some of them don't want to keep you on either," she remarked, grinning. "So an alliance is just what you need. What do you say?"

"Fine," Riley agreed grudgingly. "But trust me, the very first moment I see you about to double-cross me, _you'll_ be out of here faster then you can say Wawanakwa."

"With all metaphors aside then, we're good?"

"I suppose."

The two shook hands. They stood there for a second, and Riley looked downwards for a moment because his robot had started beeping wildly.

"Uh-oh," Riley muttered. With a swift kick, he booted the machine far off into the distance, where it proceeded to blow up noisily.

"Does that happen often?" Laura questioned as she crossed her arms.

Riley chuckled hoarsely.

"You'd be surprised."

---------------------------------------------------------------------

"Here. Look at these," Raphael ordered as he dropped two pairs of metal bracelets into Ashlynn's hands.

"These aren't exactly fashionable jewelry," she commented. Raphael rolled his eyes.

"They're not jewelry. See that switch on there?"

Ashlynn flipped a little red switch on one of the metal bracelets.

"Now clink them together," Raphael ordered. Ashlynn did as she was told. Once the two metals touched, a loud beep ensued, causing Ashlynn to yelp and fall to the floor of the Gopher boys' cabin.

"You could've warned me about that!" She shouted.

"Sorry," Raphael apologized. "I forgot about it."

Ashlynn chucked one of the bracelets at him. Thankfully, it missed by a few inches.

"Okay Mr. Evil Scientist," Ashlynn sighed as she sat up straight. "What're those for?"

"I left them along with the challenge offer," Raphael responded. "I just really hope that Chris picks the challenge."

"You keep saying that," Ashlynn said impatiently. "But you've never actually explained the whole challenge to me. Or anyone, really."

"True," Raphael admitted. "But if I did it would ruin the suspense for the readers outside the fourth wall."

"Er…what?"

Raphael grinned.

"Oh, nothing," he replied.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Young ninja pirate kumquat destroyer…you look upset," Effie noted, as she and Doe balanced on top of the megaphone post.

"It's because I am," Doe sighed.

"It's because I am _what_?" Effie said indignantly.

Doe rolled her eyes but grinned.

"It's because I _am_, oh great master sensei," Doe corrected herself.

Effie nodded solemnly.

"You miss your beau…you must let go of your sadness…release your spirit and merge it with that of the wind's soul of peacefulness and fajitas…"

Doe had no idea what that meant, but pretended she did anyways.

"Now that we're no longer on teams, do you think that two more people will be coming back…er…great master sensei?" Doe questioned.

"It's unclear, at the moment," Effie replied as she closed her eyes and performed an odd yoga position. "However…I can see that there will be two coming eventually. One we will like, and one we will hate."

Doe made a face.

"That really sucks!"

"That is does my apprentice, that it does…in the mean time, let's go bombard Chef and Chris with crab apples while remaining incognito!"

Doe whooped, and gave a high-five to her insane friend.

"Bet I beat you there!" Doe laughed as she began sliding down the megaphone post. Effie just laughed as well as the two friends raced off together.

------------------------------------------------------------------------

Night had fallen by the time the campers were called for their challenge. Chris gathered the remaining eleven into the mess hall to begin his instructions.

"Alright, campers! We're nearing the final ten…and as you know, there are no longer teams. I know last year there was a battle-of-the-sexes challenge, and that will come, but this particular challenge is every man--"

"Or woman!" Doe called out.

"Every man _or woman_ for himself or _herself_," Chris corrected himself. "All sexism issues aside, this challenge, believe it or not, had been requested and it wasn't half bad so--"

"YES!" Raphael shouted so suddenly that everyone turned to face the usually soft-spoken one. Raphael leaped up on his table and immediately started dancing. Seeing that people were staring he said awkwardly, "I've uh…got the Holy Spirit! Whoo!" Much to the amusement of the other ten campers he continued his dance.

"Okay…um…like I was saying…today's challenge, you're going to be meeting some old familiar friends! Namely, the ousted campers!" Chris announced. He plopped a huge box on one of the tables, and the campers could here metallic chinks from inside it. "Pass these around."

The campers did what they were told, and passed around the metallic bracelets to one another and slipped them on. Chris dropped yet another box on the table. "Pass these around too!"

Curious, the campers reached inside and grabbed glow sticks, everyone got one.

"Okay, what're the rules?" Thomas questioned.

"By any means possible, you guys will be going to the Playa de Losers. Each of you are matched up with an ousted camper. The ousted camper will be on a particular and hard to reach spot. The ousted camper you 'in' campers are matched up with will have the same color glow stick as you. You try to find that camper waving the glow stick. Once you _do_ find the camper, clink your little bracelets together and I'll be able to tell from my evil lair here that you did what you were supposed to. Sounds fairly simple, right? But…"

"I hate the buts…" Ashlynn groaned.

"My man Chef will be driving our helicopter over the Playa de Losers throughout the whole challenge. Attached to the helicopter is a spotlight that Chef will be flashing all over the place. If you happen to be caught in the spotlight and therefore are seen by Chef, you will be forcefully dragged back here, and you will be immediately vulnerable for being voted off! Finding your match grants you invincibility!"

"Do we get told who are camper is?" asked Laura.

Chris shook his head.

"Nope. You'll have to just find the right color glow stick matching yours, and then hightail it over there as fast as possible. And with that…" Chris glanced at an imaginary clock. "Three…two…one…GO!"

In a scramble, the contestants rushed out the door.

"Chef, you got the helicopter ready?" Chris asked via walkie-talkie.

"Sure do, Chris-man."

"All right! Don't go easy on them!"

"You don't have to worry about that…"

--------------------------------------------------------------------

"Nice," Riley commented dryly as Laura sped up in front of him with a hijacked Boat of Losers.

"Need a lift?" She questioned, leaning over the railing of the boat with a grin.

As the two alliance members sped off, others weren't having _too _much trouble finding other means of transportation.

"A kayak!" Kenny crooned in success. "Hey Leti, want to paddle with me?"

"Sure!" Leti chirped in reply. "Um…how do I hold the paddle again?"

As those two eventually paddled off, Effie had somehow constructed a catapult for Doe and herself.

"How did you do this in under a minute?" Doe marveled as she leered at the vast catapult Effie had constructed.

"Don't question my methods!" was all Effie said as she catapulted them both away to the Playa de Losers.

Allister and Charity zoomed off in a Jet Ski they had found. That left Thomas, Charity, and Raphael to one lone Jet Ski. Thomas and Ashlynn had already found it so by the time Raphael got to them…

"Um, Raphael, mon? I think you're going to have to sit on Ashlynn's lap if you want to join us. This is the last Jet Ski here."

No explanation is needed for the awkwardness that ensued.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"I feel like I'm escaping from prison," Riley chuckled as he and Laura stepped off their boat onto the Playa de Losers. Chris wasn't bluffing—the spotlight Chef was directing was going all over the place.

"Knowing you, I wouldn't be surprised if you've done so already," Laura remarked.

"Just go find your pink glow stick, okay?" Riley stubbornly ordered. Laura shrugged and darted off onto the loser paradise—hiding behind bushes and small buildings to avoid the spotlight.

She swore underneath her breath and leaned against the wall nearing the side of the main hotel. _Where is that stupid glow stick?_ She thought to herself. Sure, she saw many different colors waved in the darkness—orange, green, blue, purple—but no pink.

As Riley went off in search of his glow stick partner, Allister and Charity were the next to arrive to the Playa de Losers.

"Do you see your color?" Allister questioned Charity as the Goth held her yellow glow stick to herself.

"Not yet," she replied. "I think I see yours though." She gestured towards a neon green glow stick waving from the top of a palm tree. Allister smiled and ran towards the palm tree, avoiding the light as best he could.

Charity began slinking around the side of the hotel for her partner. For a long ten minutes she irritably sneaked over the resort to no avail. Leti, Kenny, Raphael, Thomas, and Ashlynn had already crossed her path.

"I've crossed this stupid pool bar three times already…" she muttered to herself. Unbeknownst to Charity, her partner Warren lay inside the bar, sleeping peacefully. Again. As she made her way past the pool, she slipped and fell inside.

"ARGH!" She shouted. This caught Chef's attention from the helicopter. He flashed the light towards where he heard the noise, and shined the light on Charity. In a huff, Charity threw her glow stick down on the ground and stomped back to her Jet Ski to drive back to Camp Wawanakwa.

"That was my ride…" Allister groaned as he watched Charity speed off from his view on top of the palm tree.

"Maybe Chef will give you a ride," Satine suggested politely.

"It's Chef, Satine," Allister reminded her. "_Chef_," he repeated for emphasis. Satine cracked a smile.

"Aren't these supposed to come off once they hit each other?" She asked the loner.

"I thought so," Allister mused, pulling at the bracelets that keep he and Satine connected by the arm. "Weird, huh?"

"Weird," Satine agreed. "So, are we going to head back to try and see if Chris will disconnect them?"

"I doubt he will either," Allister grumbled. "Course we're stuck with the two most evil adults on the planet."

"So…how are heading back?" Satine questioned.

Allister sighed.

"How good of a swimmer are you?"

----------------------------------------------------------------------------

"I…hate…stairs," Riley gasped for breath. He had seen his purple matching glow stick from on top of the roof. Of course, it was on top of the tallest building on the whole resort. "Stupid…thirty…flights of stairs…"

Finally, the redhead burst through the door leading to the roof. He could barely see the outline of his match camper. As the figure turned her head, Riley saw the brief flash of hazel eyes towards his direction.

"So…" the female remarked. "I've heard you're being a bit of an ass back at Wawanakwa."

All Riley could do was grin.

"Is that the best greeting you could give me, Kitten?"

----------------------------------------------------------------------------

"OH MY GOSH!" Doe shouted so suddenly that Effie had to clamp her hand over her mouth. "It's Kevin!" Doe continued to squeal, although it came out muffled now. "Kevin has the same red glow stick I do!"

Much to Effie's dismay, the spotlight was heading towards the two girls' direction.

"Let's-a go!" Effie ordered, dragging Doe by the collar. Effie still hadn't seen her orange partner, so she decided to spend time helping Doe along the way. Unfortunately, the spotlight was moving faster then they were.

"You must go on without me!" Effie said dramatically. She threw Doe ahead of here, and sprinted back towards the spotlight to 'sacrifice' herself, screaming the regular 'YOU'LL NEVER GET ME ALIVE!' all the while. It wasn't long until the spotlight captured her though, and Effie had to swim back to camp.

Meanwhile, Doe ran besides the resort's barbecue to her own beau, Kevin.

"Doe!" Kevin exclaimed, surprised and excited. "Hey Doe!"

Doe nearly tackled him.

"Ah, I know you haven't been gone that long but I've _missed you so much!_ How's it going over here?" She asked, clinking the two's bracelet together. There was a loud beep emitted, and the two bracelets were pulled apart.

"It's great!" Kevin replied, grinning. "You wouldn't believe the kind of good food they have!"

Doe's stomach rumbled and she patted it with a sigh.

"How long can I stay here? Before I have to go back?" Doe asked.

"I think Chris will announce it," Kevin replied. "I wish you could stay for the night though."

"I think that if I actually spent a night on a good bed I could never go back to our crappy cabins."

Kevin laughed.

"You've got a point there."

The two ended up for three whole hours. Their grins never left their faces.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Isn't that girl supposed to stay _still_?!" Raphael groaned as he tried to push his legs further. His partner Alice, waving a blue glow stick in her wake, decided it would be more fun to run around the resort rather then staying still in one place. "Aren't there rules about this?"

"There are _never_ any rules, dude!" Chris's voice sounded over a far away intercom.

Raphael was about to make a comeback, but he tripped on an innocent pebble, and had a face plant on the ground.

"MAN DOWN!" Alice shouted, running towards him. At the sound of Alice's shout, Chef flashed the light down onto the two of them.

"I hate my challenge," was the last thing Raphael said before he made his way back to camp.

--------------------------------------------------------------------

Ashlynn squinted into the distance, and in her frustration kicked the nearest tree. The tree was really quite hard though, and Ashlynn ended up hopping around on one foot.

"Why the hell did I get stuck with the _black_ glow stick?" Ashlynn groaned. "What, were they running out of colors?"

She glared at her glow stick.

"You are evil. You got that? You are the most annoying, stupid--"

"Stop insulting me!" whined a familiar voice. Curious, Ashlynn poked her way to the source of the sound. There, crouched in the bushes, was Leo.

"Er…hi Leo," Ashlynn greeted as she stared at the less intelligent twin that had thought she was insulting him, instead of her glow stick. "Um…are you carrying a black glow stick by any chance?"

"Yeah," Leo sighed. He glared accusingly at the female in front of him. "Why'd you have to go and get me voted off?"

"Because you were lying to everyone," Ashlynn replied as she clinked the two bracelets together. They pulled apart, and Ashlynn toyed with the glow stick in her hands.

"It was all Joel's idea," Leo sighed. "I can be nice, really. I'm just…"

"Stupid?" Ashlynn guessed.

"No!" Leo blubbered. "That was mean…"

"Um…there, there?" She said awkwardly, patting the twin's shoulder. "I've…got to go…some place else. Okaythanksbye."

She ran off.

------------------------------------------------------------

"Oh God, not you," Rachel groaned as she saw Laura clamber up to her hiding spot, which was under a table in the main restaurant.

"Eh, suck it up harpy," Laura grumbled as she reached over to knock their bracelets together.

"You know…" Rachel remarked. "You know the evil one never wins, right?"

"Whatever. That's such a cliché," Laura retorted. "If you need me, I'll be heading back. I don't want to spend any more time here then I have to."

As the queen bee headed back, Rachel had one thing to say—

"Don't come crying to me when you get your hair shaved off!"

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Kenny and Leti traveled amongst the resort, trying to find their matches.

"It's so quiet…" Kenny mused. "Has everyone found their partners already?"

"Oh, I hope not!" Leti groaned. "We must be so behind!"

"It can't be that bad," Kenny said optimistically. "I mean, I don't think there's a time limit on this…right? As long as we don't get caught, that is."

"Well, maybe there is," Leti sighed. "Hey-o? Chris? Wherever you are? Is there a time limit?"

No answer.

"I SAID, IS THERE--"

"Leti, no!" Kenny cried, trying to put a hand over his mouth. He tripped though, and bowled Leti over. It ended up having them both in a rather…awkward position.

The light shined on them, and Chef's eyes widened in surprise.

"Oh, sorry," he said quickly. "Didn't mean to interrupt anything…"

**Confession Cam: Why haven't you put us in more?!**

Kenny said nothing, but was as red as a tomato.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------

"Whoa, mon. This thing won't come off," Thomas mumbled, as he desperately tried to get his bracelet disconnected from Joel's.

"Well, we'll just have to _make_ it come off, now won't we?" Joel growled, hammering on the bracelets with a nearby rock. They didn't budge.

"Uh…so what do we do now?" Thomas questioned.

"Guess we're heading back to Wawanakwa," Joel said sarcastically. "Whoopee. Like I didn't get enough of that place already."

"You were the first eliminated," Thomas reminded him. Joel smirked.

"Exactly."

---------------------------------------------------------------------

"You want me to _apologize_?" Riley repeated, regarding Rosetta with vague amusement. He shifted his position on the roof. "How are you not totally pissed off about the whole thing?"

"Eh," Rosetta shrugged. "I never really thought I'd win. And…I always did want to pick a fight with the queen bee. If you're going to be mad at anybody, pick her. In fact, break her nose if you'd like. I wouldn't mind that. Or even better, let me do it the next time I see her."

"I think the audience might actually enjoy that," Riley chuckled.

"Well, what the viewing world wants, the viewing world gets," Rosetta remarked, cracking her knuckles with a smirk.

"You're forgetting one thing about this whole ordeal…" Riley reminded her suddenly. Rosetta raised an eyebrow, and Riley grinned. "I'm not exactly Mr. Sunshine, if you recall."

"Well, don't pick fights with Ashlynn. She's pretty nice. Or Raphael—who's only arguing with you because you're arguing with Ashlynn."

"Do I have to bake them cookies, too?" Riley asked sarcastically. Rosetta punched him in the shoulder playfully.

"You are such a smartass," she teased.

"And you're an obdurate female who keeps making me do the right thing. Which isn't very fun."

"For all still-in contestants still at the Playa de Losers…time to head back!" Chris's voice announced via intercom. Riley cursed quietly under his breath.

"See ya around, Slick," Rosetta said, with a rare soft smile.

"Wait, I need something for the road," Riley replied quickly.

"And that would be…?" Rosetta questioned.

Riley leaned down and kissed her.

------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Okay, campers," Chris started at the campfire. "Those who found their partner can go ahead and sit on the 'safe' stumps over here…those campers would be--"

"Hey, a question?" Thomas interrupted. "Why is _he_," he pointed a finger towards Joel, who yes, was still connected to Thomas by the bracelet. "Connected to me?"

"And why is Satine still connected to me?" Allister added.

"Good question!" Chris congratulated, an evil smile starting. "Well…remember when we brought Izzy and Eva back last season…?"

Nothing else was needed to be said. Jaws dropped.

"Not JOEL!" The majority of the campers cried in unison.

"Thanks for the warm welcome back," Joel muttered sarcastically.

"Eh…at least they're not angry I'm here…" Satine laughed mildly.

"Anyways!" Chris said quickly. "Campers that are safe…Riley, Thomas, Allister, Laura, Ashlynn, and Doe get over here!"

"You're kidding me," Charity muttered. "All of the former Bass are safe?"

"That's the way the cookie crumbles!" Chris said, shrugging.

"More safe campers…Raphael, Kenny, and Effie!" The three campers marched over cheerfully to grab their safeness.

"Alright! The final marshmallow goes to…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

Leti."

Leti smiled, and grabbed her tossed marshmallow.

Charity sighed, and slowly stood up.

"Well, it was fun while it lasted," she mumbled. "I'll see you guys around. Allister…I…"

Allister smiled.

"I know," he said softly.

The two leaned forward to kiss, but Chef grabbed Charity by her collar before they were able to.

"So long, everyone!" She shouted as the Boat of Losers sped off.

Everyone waved back at her.

"Now then…everyone, get some sleep! A new day, a new challenge!" Chris finished.

**Confession Cam: We've been on twice. TWICE. That's pathetic.**

"She was pretty talented," Riley shrugged. "And…that made her a threat."

Buzz.

"Alliance," Laura said simply in a sing-song voice.

Buzz.

"She was nice…but I didn't want me or Leti to go," Kenny mumbled.

-------------------------------------------------------------

"Okay, now, as much as this kind of goes against every basic principle and fiber in my basic human being, it's simply--"

"Skip to the point, "Ashlynn told Riley impatiently. Riley clenched his teeth slightly, and stared at Ashlynn and Raphael.

"Alright. I'm…agh…sorry I wouldn't let it go. I know…it was tactic…and whatnot. And, as thoroughly annoyed it makes me, I'll let it go until the next possible screw-up you guys make."

"Was that an apology?" Raphael asked.

"In some form or another, yeah."

"Well…" Ashlynn shifted slightly. "Apology accepted. And…thanks."

"Yeah, yeah," Riley muttered, all apology-sincerity apparently used up. "Don't get used to it."

As the two started to leave, Riley tapped Raphael on the shoulder.

"Yes?" Raphael questioned.

"I still don't like you," Riley said plainly.

"…oh…"

**Confession Cam: Heh…**

"The conversation had started out so nicely…" Raphael sighed.

-----------------------------------------------------------

**Who voted for whom?**

Riley—Charity

Laura—Charity

Allister—Leti

Thomas—Leti

Kenny—Charity

Leti—Charity

Charity—Leti

Effie—Kenny

Doe—Kenny

Ashlynn—Charity

Raphael—Leti

Charity: Five votes

Leti: Four votes

Kenny: Two votes

**(A.N.) Yay…another chapter done…and, apologies to lovestruckbabe243 for booting Charity. Erm…that's all, folks?**


	19. An Eye for an Eye

"Oh, hey, cool! This thing was rebuilt!"

"Ah, wait Satine! That thing isn't--"

Splash. Thomas's warning for Satine was too late, and poor Satine fell through the Dock of Shame.

"Stable…" Thomas finished lamely. He was supposed to just tell Satine about the contestants doing the intro, and unfortunately, he forgot about telling her about the not-so-sturdy dock.

Satine poked her head through the hole in the dock and moaned.

"Do these kinds of things happen all the time when you guys do the intro?"

Thomas smiled weakly.

"Actually…yeah."

Satine sighed, and slowly shook her head.

"Alright, anyways…last time on Total Drama Island! The eleven remaining campers went on a search of sorts when they searched for the ousted campers at the PDL. The episode was chock full of alliances…romance…glow sticks…and the return of two campers…which included me, and—even though nobody wanted him—Joel. At the end of the campfire ceremony, it was poor Charity who had to take the walk. So, will Joel have something else up his sleeve? Will Riley and Laura's alliance help them or hurt them? And finally, who will…er…" Satine shifted slightly, wiggling from her position half-under the dock. "Um…Thomas? I think I'm stuck…"

She glanced back, but Thomas had walked off a while ago.

"Guys? Anyone?"

A short pause.

"Can I at least have a towel?"

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Ooh…I feel…funny."

Kenny slowly opened one eye, and then another. He was staring up at a dark starry sky. His arms felt sore and stiff, and it took a while for him to be able to stand up. The wallflower blinked a few times, and then realized he was at the Wawanakwa campfire area.

"What the heck is going on?" He wondered aloud. Slowly, he turned around to face all twelve of his fellow campers, including himself. Chris was standing off to the side, holding an empty plate of marshmallows.

"This has got to be a dream," he muttered. Kenny walked over to his dream-self, and waves his hand over the replica's eyes. No response. Every one of the twelve campers had their jaws dropped in surprise, but they were all frozen.

"If this is a dream, it sure is a boring—ACK!" His complaint was interrupted when a big remote hit him on the head. "Damn slapstick!" He picked the remote up, and examined it. All there was on the remote's surface was a big 'play' icon. "Might as well," he sighed, pushing the button.

"This is ridiculous!" Dream-Allister's voice shouted suddenly, catching Kenny by surprise. "Are you just making these rules up as you go along?!"

"Pretty much," Dream-Chris replied nonchalantly. The host grinned. "Admit it, you didn't see it coming."

"That doesn't matter! This…this isn't fair!" Dream-Ashlynn said impatiently.

"Hey, I'm the host here, and I can do whatever I want with these eliminations," Dream-Chris reminded her. "Host power—learn it, live it, love it!"

"Are you that desperate for drama?" Dream-Kenny growled, anger flashing in his eyes.

"What drama?" the real Kenny groaned. "What am I missing here?"

Nobody could hear him.

"Well, since none of you can technically change your votes, say goodbye to…" Dream-Chris paused dramatically.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------

"AAH!"

Kenny awoke, startled. Much to his own vast chagrin, he never heard that last word the Dream-Chris was going to say.

"_Deep breaths, man. No need to wake up the whole cabin…"_ He thought to himself.

"Hey, you okay?" Raphael asked, poking his head down from the top bunk.

_"Too late,"_ Kenny sighed inwardly. He turned to his friend, and gave a forced smile. "Yeah…I'm fine."

"Well that's good," Raphael remarked. "You looked really red and out of breath. I didn't want to have to wheel you over to have Chef give you mouth-to-mouth resuscitation or something. "

Kenny groaned.

"Now how am I supposed to sleep with _that_ image haunting me?!"

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The twelve campers headed over to the mess hall for the morning's breakfast. It was an unusually peaceful today—blue sky, cool wind, and completely silent, save for the sounds of animals.

Curious at the lack of chaos, the campers looked around for signs of anything wrong.

"We're missing something here," Leti sighed.

"No construction…no guest star noises…" Doe mused, smiling. She paused and sniffed. "No nauseous smell of Chef's cooking…"

"There's a reason for that," Joel muttered. "Did you not see the humongous sign on the door?"

Ashlynn stepped forward towards the note on the mess hall door.

"No breakfast…" she read. "Live with it."

"Well, it gets the message clear," Raphael chuckled.

"Bad food is better then no food!" Satine groaned, patting her stomach.

"I wouldn't be so sure," Allister laughed. "I'd rather be hungry then sick to my stomach."

"What if Chris got kidnapped again?!" Effie asked excitedly. She grabbed Doe by the shoulders. "We could be like, Charlie's Angels again!"

"Totally!" Doe squealed. "Aw, but we're missing two of our partners…"

"A moment of silence for those voted off already…" Thomas said solemnly.

They all paused for a moment.

"Well, that was profound," Riley remarked. "Am I the only one who wants to know what the hell is going on?"

"Here, here!" Kenny cheered.

"Does anyone really care?" Laura yawned. "I mean, it's not like we've been told it's a challenge already…and they wouldn't use the same stupid idea twice, that is, Chris being 'kidnapped'."

"Um…do you guys hear that?" Satine mumbled. Sure enough, there was the sound of a motor not far in the distance. The campers peered over to the source of the noise, and found the annoying helicopter of Chris's.

"Hello campers!" Chris greeted. "Hungry? Or even better, hungry for a _prize?_"

"This just got interesting," Joel commented slyly.

"Tell us more! Tell us now! TELL US NOW! Or I will send my winged monkeys after you!" Effie threatened.

"Whoa, take a chill pill!" Chris snickered. "The prize for today's challenge is a trip to a five-star restaurant! If you win, you can take a friend from here or from the Playa de Losers!"

**Confession Cam: Is wondering if we're actually the Confession **_**Can.**_** Huh.**

"Oh, baby!" Riley said with a smirk. "Edible food? Say no more! Rosetta, Kitten, if you win this—get ready for a night out!"

Static!

"So exciting!" Doe squealed, rubbing her hands together in anticipation. "Ah, Kevin, I know there's probably good food over at the Playa de Losers…but wouldn't this be romantic anyways?"

More static!

"Ah, I wonder if Leti would like to go with me." Kenny wondered with a small smile.

Even more static!

"I guess I'd probably take Ashlynn," Raphael mused. "Even if I didn't, she'd probably _make_ me take her…that girl can be scary sometimes. Like, _Godzilla _scary."

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"So, what's the challenge?" Laura asked impatiently.

"Yeah, what's the challenge?" Thomas chorused. The other campers joined in, chanting the same thing.

"Alright, easy!" Chris said hurriedly. "Follow me to the Arts and Crafts center!"

The campers groaned at the sound of the much-dreaded Arts and Crafts center.

"Ah, cool it. It's just for some supplies," Chris said impatiently. He revved up his helicopter engine, and drove out of sight with the twelve other campers on his heels.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"More blindfolds?" Joel questioned sarcastically, holding up the small piece of fabric. "How uncreative can you get? I mean honestly, the state of this--"

"Dude, shut up!" Laura growled, plugging her fingers into her ears.

**Confession Cam: I mean, it would make sense, because they're on the **_**can**_**…**

"Wow," Satine chuckled. "Even Laura can't stand Joel. That's saying something."

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The contestants stepped out of the small shack with six of them fingering blindfolds.

"Okay, so _now_ can you tell us the challenge?" Allister asked hopefully.

"Ah, if you insist," Chris grumbled. "This challenge is called…_An Eye for an Eye._ Even though we only call it that because there are blindfolds involved."

"You can just feel the creativity flowing through here," Riley said sarcastically.

"Ignoring that! Anyhow this challenge, you're going to be working in pairs!"

"I thought you said the reward would be us _picking_ a friend to go to the restaurant," Thomas reminded the host.

"Think of it as a double date. Both of you will be able to pick someone to go along with."

**Confession Cam: Cam, Can, Cam, Can, Cam, Can—why must they sound so similar?!**

"Okay, the quality of this prize just dropped down a few meters," Allister sighed. "No one wants to go on a double date along with Laura or Joel. Honestly. I think I might end up driving Charity insane if I get paired up with either of those two. Because well, _I'm_ going to win of course." He gave a confident grin to the camera.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Now, before I say the rules, you'll actually have to be going into the pairs first! One blindfold-holding person will be going with someone without a blindfold. However, _I_ get to pick the pairs!" Chris announced. He surveyed each of the twelve teens.

"Hm…alright. First pair is…Joel and Leti!"

Kenny shot Leti a sympathetic glance as she stood next to the malicious twin.

"Pair number two shall be…Thomas and Effie!"

"Yay!" Effie cheered. She turned to Thomas and grinned. "Can you teach me cool Jamaican lingo?"

"Um…sure?" Thomas replied.

"The next pair is…Laura and Raphael!" Both teens glared at each other, then Chris, then back at each other, and then sighed. Riley and Laura exchanged distressed glances.

**Confession Cam: Is still arguing with itself. Please check back later.**

"Yeah, I can't stand Laura, but to be perfectly honest—I don't want her against me either," Riley told the camera. "Hey, she's a good athlete at the very least. Whatever messed-up challenge Chris has thought of, I would've wanted to be paired with her of all people."

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Doe and Riley!"

Riley was mildly surprised when he saw Doe shoot him a glare.

"Ashlynn and Kenny!"

_"At least it's not Laura, again…"_ Ashlynn thought to herself.

"And finally…Allister and Satine! Now for the rules! All of the boys have blindfolds, so, put them on!"

"What a twist!" Joel mocked as he slipped the aforementioned fabric over his eyes.

"Now…without those blindfolds…you cannot see very well."

"Did you figure that one out_ all on your own?_" Riley snickered in mock surprise.

Chris narrowed his eyes.

"Once again, I'm gonna go ahead and ignore that. Now, all the girls for this challenge have no legs whatsoever. Zip. Nada. You can't walk."

"AH!" Leti cried. "PLEASE DON'T ARMPITATE ME!"

"That's 'amputate', Leti," Chris corrected. "And don't worry; no limbs will be flying this challenge!"

**Confession Cam: No time for sarcasm. Still arguing.**

"_This_ challenge?" Ashlynn echoed.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------

"So, here's the dealio! For this whole challenge, the blinded guys will be carrying the girls! Girls, if you try to walk at any time…your pair will be out faster then you can say 'Dock of Shame.' Now then, the pairs will be going through three different and rather odd obstacles. If you get to the end of the obstacle, a piece of a puzzle awaits you! If you get all three pieces, they'll fit together to create a picture of a marshmallow! This of course, means only one thing…"

"Sugar rush!" Effie shouted as she sprang up.

"No, Effie!" Chris growled. "I meant invincibility!" A disappointed Effie slunk down into a crouch.

"She's not already in a sugar rush?" Thomas asked Allister. Allister shrugged, just as surprised as Thomas was.

"So then, the first to get all three pieces get invincibility! Any questions?"

"Yeah," said the queen bee. "What're the obstacles?"

"That, you will have to find out for yourselves! Now come along!" Chris replied. "You can take off those blindfolds for now boy campers, and the girls can walk…until we get there."

"I'm gonna miss you guys," Effie told her legs with wide and sad eyes. "Ah, don't cry Winifred!" She tapped her right leg. "It'll be alright!"

"You named your legs?" Doe questioned the crazy one.

"Sure did!" Effie replied with a jazzed-up grin. "And my arms, nose, eyes, eyelashes, spleen, epidermis…"

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Oh my…" Raphael remarked, staring at the huge square of hot coals created behind the mess hall. "This looks rather…painful."

"Oh, we used to do this all times at beach parties back home," Ashlynn assured Raphael. "The worst that can happen is a third degree burn," she added with a mischievous grin.

"That's not very reassuring."

"A good dose of fear can be healthy."

"If you two are done," Laura said with a roll of her eyes, "can you get over here?" She asked Raphael, who sighed and nodded in response.

"Alright, campers! There are six jigsaw pieces on the hot coal bed here. Try to get any one of them. Guys, now is the time to slip on your blindfolds. Girls, you need to get in the arms of your guy partner. You'll be directing them."

"Oh great," Joel whined. "So the _girls_ don't have to walk over these coals, but _we_ do?"

"We girls have delicate feet," Satine chimed with a small grin.

"So suck it up, Mr. Conspiracy," Laura remarked. She turned to Raphael. "You better not drop me."

"I'll try…" Raphael muttered.

**Confession Cam OR CAN: Not the best resolution. Still pending.**

"Did he mean try not to drop her or try_ to_ drop her?" Thomas snickered.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The six pairs stood at the edge of the hot coal bed—the guys in particular feeling a little more then stressed.

"There's a two minute limit!" Chris announced. "For both limited-time reasons and medical reasons…"

"Can you just tell us when to go?" Riley asked impatiently.

"Fine, fine. Ready…set…go!"

"I'm not doing this," Joel said instantaneously. "There's no way I'm going to walk over some burning hot coals for a challenge."

"Ah, mon," Thomas groaned. He poked one toe in and frantically took it out. "Gah! That was hot!"

"Hence the name, hot coals," Riley remarked as he leaped into the coals. "Where to go, Doe?"

"Three steps left and four steps forward!" Doe replied swiftly. Riley nabbed a puzzle piece, and left the coal square as quickly as humanely possible.

"Come on, Joel!" Leti pleaded. "_Pleeeease_?"

"No!" Joel said stubbornly.

"Ow, Ashlynn! You're squeezing my shoulder to death!" Kenny groaned as he continued to walk along the coals.

"This pain will make you forget the other pain!" Ashlynn replied swiftly.

"What kind of twisted logic is that?!" Raphael questioned, running up besides the pair and wincing from the pain of the coals.

"It's _my_ twisted logic. Don't you have a puzzle piece to grab Mr. Social?" Ashlynn smirked.

"Touché," replied Raphael. He turned to Laura, questioned her for directions, and made it out of there in time. Ashlynn and Kenny followed shortly after.

"Oh if you won't do it…" Effie mused from back on the sidelines. She flew out of Thomas's arms, and proceeded to walk along the coal bed…with her hands. She grabbed a puzzle piece and chucked it at Thomas, who didn't see it coming, and was whapped in the head.

"Nice!" Chris congratulated as Effie hand-walked out of the coals. "Definitely odd…but hey, I'll let it slide. Allister, man, you've got to hurry!"

"Okay, here goes…" Allister sighed. He drew back a few steps, and then ran into the coals frantically. "Okay (OW!) where is (SO HOT!) the puzzle piece (ARGH!) Satine?" Allister was multitasking—questioning Satine for directions and bemoaning his pain all the while. He reached down to grab it, but just as his fingers grazed the top…

"Time is up!" Chris announced. "Get back here, Allister."

Allister groaned, and reluctantly obliged.

"So…Riley, Doe, Kenny, Ashlynn, Laura, Raphael, Thomas, and Effie have all have won their first puzzle piece!" Chris said cheerfully.

"A question, Chris?" Satine asked politely. "For those of us who don't have a puzzle piece yet…why are we bothering to continue? Obviously, we aren't going to win the breakfast prize or invincibility, it's completely impossible."

"True," Chris responded. "But here's the thing—the duo with the least amount of puzzle pieces by the end of this will be the two the rest of you will be voting for."

"What if two groups have, say, two puzzle pieces?" Satine questioned.

"Then you vote for the four of them," Chris replied, rolling his eye. "Duh." He turned to the others. "Now then, I'm sure you will want to cool off those scorched feet of yours! Let's head to the lake, shall we?"

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The twelve campers stood on the Wawanakwa beach, awaiting their next instructions.

"Okay then, for this challenge, the girls will be the blindfolded ones!"

Not caring so much, the guys lazily gave their blindfolds to their female partners.

"Okay, everyone good?"

Lethargic nods.

"Now then, all of you go ahead and grab a canoe!" Chris instructed. Some of the girls moved to do so, but ended up tripping all over each other. Laughing, the guys went and grabbed the canoes instead.

"Awesome…now, the blindfolded girls will be _steering_ the canoe towards one of the six floatable puzzle pieces floating on the lake. The guys must direct the girls, and grab the puzzle pieces. Simple. So, get inside the canoes…ready…set…GO!"

**Confession Cam-Can-Thing: Perhaps we'll have a poll.**

"Oh my God…" Riley snickered. "This was probably the stupidest challenge part yet. Hooray for shouting directions and getting miserably lost."

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"How do I steer this thing?!" Leti groaned. "I can't even see!"

"No duh!" Joel growled. He tried to grab the oar from her, but a loud shout from Chris distracted him—

"Joel tried to steer so his pair is out for cheating! Buh-bye!"

Joel let out a string of curses.

Meanwhile, Effie skipped the whole paddling concept and decided to chuck the canoe far into the lake. It somehow landed on a puzzle piece, despite the fact that Effie threw it at random, and the Thomas grabbed their puzzle piece.

"Just keep rowing! Just keep rowing! Just keep rowing, rowing, rowing…" Satine sang to herself, and then laughed. Allister smiled and continued to direct Satine.

"I've done this all the time with my parents," Satine explained. "Not blindfolded though. But well, you get the point."

The pair managed to grab their next piece, much to their relief.

"You're going the wrong way," Riley said plainly as he and Doe continued to try to get to a puzzle piece.

"Then tell me where to go!" Doe shot back.

"I already said, go right!" Riley groaned.

"I _am_ going right!" Doe insisted angrily.

"No, you're going left!" Riley told her.

"Oh yeah? Well…_you're_ going left!" was the somewhat lacking retort by the brunette.

"As much as I'd love to sit here and give sarcastic remarks to everything you say, you're about to crash into Raphael and Laura!" Riley announced.

"Wait, really?" asked Laura from the boat in front of them. Slightly afraid, she stood up.

"Don't do that don't do that don't do that!" Raphael chanted frantically. It was too late. The canoe wobbled and then flipped over, and so Laura and Raphael fell into Doe and Riley's canoe, taking it down as well.

"Well that turned out marvelously," Riley remarked as he floated on his back.

"…did we win…?" Doe asked sleepily.

"Ack!" the queen bee spluttered, whipping off her blindfold. She turned to Raphael. "This is your entire fault!"

"What did _I_ do?" Raphael groaned.

"You…you messed me up!"

"By telling you not to stand up and take the whole canoe down?" Riley asked. "Your logic astounds me."

**Confession Cam: Ah, screw it. We give up.**

"Well that was a surprise," commented Raphael. "I never thought Riley would be the one to stand up for me. On the other hand, it probable was just because he can't turn down a chance to make fun of someone else."

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"What happened to you guys?" Kenny questioned the four overboard campers as she and Kenny paddled past.

"Don't…want to talk about it…" Raphael mumbled.

"Suit yourself," Ashlynn chuckled. She and Kenny continued on their way to the puzzle piece, and grabbed it easily.

"Alright! So the Ashlynn-Kenny pair is battling against the Effie-Thomas pair for the price of…invincibility and an awesome breakfast! Sweet!" Chris said as the campers paddled, (or in the case of Raphael, Laura, Riley, and Doe, swam) back to the Wawanakwa beach.

"Campers…get ready for the final puzzle piece! Follow me, and I hope you don't mind getting your hands dirty!"

The campers exchanged glances, and gulped.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Ew!" Leti squealed, backing up away from the mud. "Ew, ew, ew!"

True enough, six muddy paths lay in front of the campers. Chris grinned evilly.

"Here's the scoop. The blindfolded girls will be led by the boys all the way to the end of their muddy path. If at any case the girl trips, slips, or falls, then the pair is out. Got it?"

"Yeah…" the campers muttered, sighed, and/or groaned in unison.

"Then get ready, get set, and GO!"

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Effie was off to a running start already, with Thomas slowly falling behind her.

"…wait…up!" Thomas managed to call out between gasps for air.

"Aw, but you're so slow!"

"And you're supposed to be _blind_ and unsure of where you're going_!_" Thomas replied. Giving up slightly, he paused to catch his breath.

_Tick, tick, tick…_

"Hm…" Thomas pondered. "What is that mysterious ticking noise?" **(A.N. Hopefully you get the reference. If you don't, well, you just saved yourself from losing a few IQ points.)**

He paused.

"Oh crap," realized the Jamaican. "Effie, something is about to--"

KABLAM! An explosion cut off Thomas, and Effie went flying far ahead.

"Crap, she's gonna fall!" Thomas groaned. Effie flew further and further downwards, and had a face plant on the ground.

The smoke cleared, and Effie lifted up her head dizzily. Attached to her forehead was the final jigsaw piece.

"Um…does that count?" questioned Thomas.

"I guess so!" Chris replied via intercom. "Thomas and Effie win invincibility!"

"Whoo!" Effie cheered. She turned to Thomas. "Nice job, mon!"

"You too…" Thomas laughed awkwardly at Effie's attempt at lingo.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------

Kenny held Ashlynn by the shoulders and directed her through the dangerous path.

"See anything?" Ashlynn asked.

"Besides mud? Nada," Kenny replied, sighing. They walked for a few more moments until Kenny halted Ashlynn.

"What's going on?" questioned Ashlynn. Kenny paled.

"There's about a million stumps, rocks, and other various sharp things ahead of us. There's no way I can guide you and not have you trip."

"Damn it…" Ashlynn groaned. She paused for a moment. "Well, they can't have cameras everywhere, right? Maybe if I just take a peek…" she lifted her blindfold up a tad, and Chris's blaring voice went over the intercom.

"ASHLYNN AND KENNY ARE OUT FOR CHEATING!"

"Smooth," commented Kenny, while Ashlynn slapped her forehead.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Is there any reason you're shooting death glares at me?" Riley questioned. "Even with the blindfold, I can tell."

"I'm a little irked," explained Doe roughly, "about what you did to everyone here."

"I already apologized for all that stuff. But, looking at you, apparently I'm not the only one who holds a grudge."

"You're the main reason Kevin was voted off."

"That and he screwed up," Riley reminded her. Doe frowned sadly.

"Right. Sorry. Touchy subject," Riley apologized. "But there you go—you can see why I was mad at Ashlynn and Raphael. What can I say? I miss Rosetta. And…I know you miss Kevin."

Doe's features softened a little.

"Ah…maybe I was wrong. You actually _can_ be nice."

"When I want to," replied Riley. "Which isn't very often. Being good isn't that fun."

Underneath the blindfold, Doe rolled her eyes.

"But I don't like to fight for no reason," Riley continued. "So…no more evil glares?" He asked, with a wide smirk.

"I'll try," Doe laughed. "I'm not guaranteeing anything though!"

"Tree," Riley said suddenly.

"What?" Doe questioned. She then, (surprise) ran into a tree. As she rebounded off the trunk, Riley couldn't resist one little jibe—

"You see, this is what happens when you _don't listen_..."

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Argh! I nearly tripped again!" Laura growled. "You've got to try harder then that!"

Raphael clenched his teeth.

_"Easy Raphael. Tripping her won't make matters easier,"_ he thought to himself. _"Although that would be enjoyable."_

"The terrain here is very hilly," he told Laura out loud. "It's hard to navigate well."

"Well, you _better_ navigate well or you'll wind up in a well!"

"What kind of comeback was that?!" Raphael asked, exasperated.

The duo continued their squabble throughout the whole trip, until they finally reached a jigsaw piece near the end.

"Here we are," Raphael said dully as he pushed Laura towards the jigsaw piece. The queen bee picked it up, and pocketed it safely.

"That's two," she remarked. "One less then we should've got."

"You'll survive," Raphael mumbled.

"Do you know what happens to nerds who talk to me like that?" growled Laura.

"Can I have a lifeline?" Raphael asked.

**Confession Cam: Is back in business!**

"I really need to work on my comebacks…" Raphael sighed, shaking his head slowly.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Ah, such a nice day out!" Satine said pleasantly. "At least, it feels nice. Is it ugly out here?"

Allister looked around. There were dying plants, thick mud, and algae-covered mucky ponds.

"Depends what you're definition of ugly is…" Allister chuckled.

"See a puzzle piece yet?" Satine asked.

Allister squinted, and peered around the scenery. Seeing something shimmer in the distance, he directed Satine towards the source.

"Ah here it is! It's just…right…over…" his voice kept going lower and more awkward sounding as he realized exactly _where_ the jigsaw piece was.

"Well?" Satine asked.

"Are you an animal lover, Satine?" Allister questioned.

"Sort of…" came her reply. "What kind of animal are we talking about?"

"Er…big, green, and scaly. And wearing a jigsaw necklace."

"I'm out of here," Satine muttered, before running off.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Eeek! There's mud in my shoe!" Leti groaned. She wiggled her shoe, and sniffled.

"I don't care!" Joel growled.

"You know, that's not very nice. I may be a blonde, but I have feelings!" Leti insisted.

"And I'm a twin who needs to win. Let's keep moving!"

"Heh…you made a rhyme…" chuckled Leti as Joel wheeled her along. "So…what was up with that whole conspiracy thing, anyhow?"

"If you must know—I wasn't about to spend another eight weeks here after I spent my first challenge in a cage with the Sasquatchawhatchamacallit."

"Sasquatchanakwan!" Chris corrected on the intercom.

"Once again—not caring!" Joel muttered.

"So that really was you? And not Leo?" Leti asked.

"Yeah. He went to the Bass campfire ceremony instead of me."

"Ah…I see…so you cheated so you could lose," Leti was starting to snicker. "I may be a little dim, but that still seems stupid to me."

"Shut up and grab the friggin' jigsaw piece. It's right in front of you."

Leti did as she was told, and could not hide her grin.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The six pairs of campers gathered around Chris.

"All right!" Chris said pleasantly. "How many of you got…all three jigsaws?"

Happily, Thomas and Effie stepped forward.

"Congratulations! You two win invincibility…and…an awesome breakfast!"

"I'll take Rachel," Thomas said, smiling.

"And I'll take Doe!" Effie chirped. Doe whooped and stood besides her friend.

"Alright…go ahead to the Dock of Shame to catch the Boat of Losers which will take you to that diner again!"

The four of them ran off.

"Now then, did any pairs just get one jigsaw?"

Allister, Satine, Joel, and Leti stepped forwards. Chris eyed Riley.

"You and Doe were able to get a jigsaw?" He questioned. Riley whipped out two jigsaw pieces and smirked.

"Despite our…setbacks," Riley remarked, referring to Doe's tree accident, "We were able to grab it eventually."

"Well, I can't complain since I seem them right there…so campers—vote for Allister, Satine, Joel, or Leti and meet me at the campfire!"

Kenny was the only one who looked uneasy. His dream was still haunting him.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Welcome to the campfire you not-so-lucky four!" Chris greeted with a grin to match that of the Cheshire cat's.

"The first marshmallow goes to…ah, forget it. It was such a landslide, I don't think it's much of a shocker—Joel, you have been voted off Total Drama Island…again."

Cheers erupted from the other eleven.

"But…" Chris continued.

"But?" Ashlynn whispered.

"But?" Leti echoed.

"But…you're going with company. That is, the lovely Leti!"

Everybody's jaw dropped, and Kenny moaned softly. So this was what he was dreaming.

"You see, I had it planned from the beginning," Chris laughed evilly. "Whoever got voted off would be going not just by themselves, but with their partner."

"This is ridiculous!" Allister shouted—giving Kenny a bad case of déjà vu. "Are you just making this rules up as you go along?"

"Pretty much," replied Chris. He grinned. "Admit it, you didn't see it coming."

"That doesn't matter!" Ashlynn groaned. "This…this isn't fair!"

"Hey, I'm the host and I can do whatever I want to with these eliminations," Chris reminded her. "Host power—learn it, live it, love it!"

"Are you that desperate for drama?" Kenny growled. The words were out of his mouth before he realized what he just said. Chris ignored him.

"Well, since none of you can change your votes, say goodbye to…both Leti, and Joel!"

Joel went to the Dock of Shame without little objection from the others. Leti however, was hugged by Doe, given a high-five by Thomas, and when she came to Kenny, they both smiled weakly at each other.

"Remember…" Leti mused, as she wrapped Kenny in a hug. "Don't take stuff so seriously, okay?"

Kenny laughed weakly.

"Okay."

Leti walked to the Dock of Shame, and with one large grin, drove out of sight.

"Adios, campers! Until we meet again!"

"Wow…I'm really sorry Kenny," Raphael said, walking over to his friend. "That was really unfair."

"It's okay," Kenny replied. "I'll see her again eventually."

"Well!" Chris said in an annoyingly happy voice. "Looks like you guys are the final ten! Get some sleep, tomorrow's a brand new day!"

The campers began trudging back, but stopped when they heard Riley approach Chris.

"Hey, Chris?" Riley asked.

"Yeah?"

Riley punched the host square in the face.

"You are so going to die for that," Doe told him.

"Probably," Riley agreed, flashing a grin. "But now I'll be able to sleep at night. I wanted to do that since I got here."

**Who voted for whom?**

Everybody except Joel—Joel

Joel—Leti

Joel: Eleven votes

Leti: One vote

**Final ten previews, (I know, they've been done before…)**

_Final ten: "Calm down…" Raphael told himself. "Be…Master Chief. You've done this a million times before. There's nothing to be afraid of."_

_As if on cue, Effie ran by him, screaming her head off—_

_"AH HA HA! DIE, ALIEN SCUM!"_

_Raphael and the rest of the boys gulped._

_Final nine: "Since when did your show stop obeying the laws of physics?" Gwen shouted, as she reached for the fire extinguisher for the numerous on-fire instruments._

_Final eight: "Oh crap…" the campers moaned in unison. Crawling all over the floor were thousands of insects._

_"Shoes off, maggots!" Chef barked. "Now is not the time to chicken out!"_

_Final seven: "Best entrance yet!" Chris complemented as he bumped fists with the criminal. "But where's Courtney?" A short pause. "And what's with the crazy evil grin?"_

_Final six: "That's right!" Chris continued. "A full sudden-death challenge! Complete with tanks! This day just keeps getting better and better, doesn't it?"_

_Final five: "Come on guys," Rosetta said firmly as she pushed a lock of hair behind her ears. "We don't want to make the same mistake twice, do we?"_

_Final four: "Oh come on!" Chris laughed. "How cold could it be?" He poked his face in and poked it back out instantly. It was completely blue. "Okay…maybe it's a little cold…"_

_Final three: "What's with this swanky music?" Chef asked, raising an eyebrow._

_"Oh you know those ex-campers," Chris sighed with a dismissive wave of his hand. "Always wanting a fancy entrance."_

_The finals: "Gah!" Chris shouted. "I'm five minutes late and the lunatics come! Who was that chick, anyways?"_

**(A.N.) Wow, this turned out to be about twenty pages on my Microsoft Word. And, we're down to the final ten already? Man, I'm gonna miss this!  
**

**Anyways, sorry to BroadwayBabe4 for booting Leti off like that—but…er…it was a twist?**

**Blame the odd challenge on my Banjo & Kazooie craze. And with that, I bid you goodnight. XD**


	20. Advice? Try Not to Get Shot!

Riley stood at the Dock of Shame, holding and examining a pre-written script. He paused, and then with a roll of his eyes, crumpled up the script and threw it in the lake.

"That's better!" He said pleasantly. "Now then, last time on the show that's had one parody two many…the remaining twelve campers divided up into pairs of two that had both their cooperation and their tolerance tested. It was especially hard cooperating with two certain queen and king bees. In a jigsaw search that had bad comebacks, whiny cheaters, and burnt-to-crisps feet, some resolved issues and some continued them, although mostly that was just thanks to everyone's favorite new Heather--Laura."

"When it came to the elimination, both Leti and Joel were voted off—the former being voted off because of some lame-ass rule our oh-so annoying host Chris made up at the last second. So, what will be in store for the last remaining couple, Raphael and Ashlynn? How will Kenny cope without his dearly beloved? And why the hell does this show keep doing stupid video game references? Find out, on the seemingly most dramatic campfire ceremony YET…on Total! Drama! Island!"

Riley let out a deep breath.

"Huh. I managed to fit eight insults in a two-paragraph span." He grinned. "It's a new record!"

**(Cue intro music!)**

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The campers were abruptly woken up by a blaring trumpet through the intercom. In the Bass boy cabin, Allister and Riley hit their heads against the top bunk, and Thomas rolled completely off of his upper bed.

"Ow…" he groaned. "Oh well. I'm sure we were woken up for a good reason."

Allister and Riley exchanged glances.

"Dude," muttered Riley. "How the heck are you not shouting death threats to Chris right now?"

"Meh. It's not like Chris minds that sort of stuff."

"I think he actually he enjoys it," Allister chuckled.

"Either way," Riley sighed as he hopped off his bed. "I guess it's time to get dressed."

"At least this morning can't get worse," amended Thomas. Allister slapped his forehead.

"Great. Now we're jinxed along as bruised."

"Optimism, thy price is bountiful," Riley remarked, before exiting the room with a mock salute.

Allister and Thomas weren't long to follow—the latter whistling the tune to the Andy Griffith show.

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"Chris!" Laura shouted at the host in the mess hall as soon as he walked in the door. "You'd better have a good reason for waking us up like that!"

"Do I have to?"

"Yes!" growled the queen bee.

"You sure?"

"I already said, _yes_!"

"Well…the early bird gets the worm. How's that?" Chris offered.

"Blech, I don't want a worm…" Doe groaned. "I think I see one in my cereal though…"

"Oooh, can I eat it?" Effie asked hopefully. Doe laughed, but then realized that Effie was one hundred percent serious.

"You guys must be feeling the pressure," Riley mused, glancing at Raphael and Ashlynn. "The last couple standing. Who's gonna be heading first?"

"It'll probably be me," Raphael sighed.

"It'll probably be him," Ashlynn agreed. Raphael stared at Ashlynn, annoyed.

"What?" Ashlynn questioned.

"Just marveling at how modest you are," Raphael replied, grinning.

"Whatever the challenge is, it better not have a stupid 'twist' like that again at the campfire ceremony," Kenny sighed sadly. "I sure am missing Leti already."

"You think _you_ have it bad? Rosetta and I were the first couple broken up!" Riley groaned.

"I was the second person voted off…" Satine chimed in, but wasn't really heard by anyone.

"All the guys are the ones being left heartbroken, mon," Thomas mused. "We sure do have it rough."

"Hey—I had to let Kevin go!" Doe sniffled. "And that was really hard!"

"At least he was gone for a reason," Riley replied. He glanced towards Ashlynn. "I'll refrain from going on a rant about that subject, however."

"Much appreciated," said Ashlynn.

"Us guys definitely have it rougher," Kenny continued, propping his feet up on the table. "But we can hold our emotions together better then the girls."

"Are you kidding me?" Doe argued. "Didn't you see Geoff last year? He was losing it!"

"Well Duncan and Owen sure weren't," Allister reminded her.

"Duncan was totally hiding it. Helloooo, does a certain carved initial head thingy ring a bell?" Doe giggled.

"So he cares about Courtney," Riley said, rolling his eyes. "Doesn't mean he'd get all emotional and weepy over her."

"Unlike Gwen," Thomas continued.

"Gwen had her boyfriend kissed by her mortal enemy!" Effie shouted, coming into the fight, and surprisingly enough, making a valid point.

"_And_ she was all screwy over the buried alive thing," Riley argued. "Which made her a total hypocrite—considering she was just standing around when Trent was starting to sink in quicksand."

"Well, quicksand wasn't Trent's greatest fear," Satine mumbled.

"Right—so as long as it's not your greatest fear, it's okay if it kills you?" Raphael asked sarcastically.

"Well, maybe Gwen thought the others had it handled," Ashlynn disagreed.

"I doubt Gwen thought Cody or Lindsay were capable of saving her biggest crush," Kenny fought.

"What, so now girls can't handle rescuing someone now?!" shouted Effie.

"That's missing the point entirely!" Allister retaliated.

They all continued to fight, until they noticed their sadistic host rolling between the aisles, laughing like a maniac.

"What's so funny?" Thomas asked.

"Is it because of the fighting?" Laura asked, grinning. "Because I'm enjoying it too."

"No…" Chris replied, standing up with some difficulty. "It's because…" his whole frame was still shaking with mirth. "Oh, this is just too awesome…it's because…today's challenge is…a…totally hardcore…"

"SPIT IT OUT ALREADY!" Effie roared.

"It'sabattleofthesexes!" Chris said rapidly.

"Come again?" Riley asked, a hand cupped around his ears.

"Today's challenge, ladies and gentlemen, is a _battle of the sexes_!"

"Oh," Riley mused.

The boys stared down at the girls. And then, slowly, evil grins started creeping along them all.

"Let's get started, shall we?" Allister murmured. "The sooner the better."

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"First swords, now guns?" Laura questioned, glancing up the aforementioned object. "This show is either uncreative or way too violent."

"They're not real guns, you ding-dong!" Doe snickered, picking up the (fake) gun and holstering it theatrically. "Oh yeah! Charlie's angels, armed and ready to operate!"

"Armed?" Raphael repeated. "Lord, have mercy on our souls…"

"Hey, aren't I Ding-Dong?" Effie questioned Riley with a curious poke.

"Yeah," Riley replied with a shrug. "I haven't been quite as into the nickname thing since Rosetta left."

"You call her Rosetta now?" Satine asked, surprised.

"So you _are_ going soft," Ashlynn snickered as she picked up her own (FAKE!) gun as well and tossed it around in her hands.

"Right, because calling people by their real name is the epitome of broken heartedness…you realize your argument has no body, don't you?"

"You're just in denial."

"Look who's talking!" Riley smirked, gesturing towards her and Raphael.

"This is turning into a tennis game, mon," Thomas mused. "Back and forth, back and forth…"

"Wait a sec, what was that you said?" questioned Doe. "Why would you say 'look who's talking'? I mean, you two are going out, so…" she paused, confusing spreading along her features.

"Oh, you didn't tell them?" Riley said slyly.

"Tell them what?" Raphael asked, playing dumb.

"Screw the innocent act—you two are just playing each other's girlfriend and boyfriend."

"Le gasp!" Effie, er, gasped. "Say it ain't so!"

"Well?" Riley asked, arms crossed.

Ashlynn sighed.

"Okay, we never were really going out," admitted Ashlynn.

"Just to get rid of us?" Doe asked with an eyebrow raised. "We're not that scary are we?"

"Well…" Raphael said awkwardly. "Not you, exactly…but…" he nodded towards Effie, who was pretending to shoot her (fakedon'tplaywithgunskids) gun and grinning evilly.

"KEEP YOUR HANDS UP! I DEMAND ALL YOUR SQUIRRELS!" She hollered.

"I see your point," Allister mused, shaking his head slowly.

"As do I," Doe sighed. "But I really thought you guys liked each other! I mean, Ashlynn told me how she thought Raphael was super sweet and super cute, even before we thought they would be cute togeth—MMPH!" Doe could never quite finish that proclamation, due to the hand clamped over her mouth courtesy of Ashlynn.

"Well that was interesting," chuckled Laura.

**Confession Cam: Methinks the argument is quite redundant**

"Wow," Raphael said, surprised. "Er…wow. I never thought she could really…just…me? Did she really…I…just…" he breathed, blushed madly, and proceeded to flip his coin frantically.

------------------------------------------------------------------------

"So…" Satine said awkwardly.

"Now that that's out…" Thomas sighed.

"But he likes you too a lot!" Kenny blurted out to Ashlynn.

"Re…really?" Ashlynn asked.

"No duh!" Riley shouted, exasperated. "Why do you think he's always talked to you, hung out with you, blushed at your complements, agreed to be your fake boyfriend, and joked with you for the past nineteen chapters?!"

"Well," Raphael mused, smiling. "That settles and summarizes that, I suppose."

"Yay!" Doe squealed. "I love happy endings!"

"Still doesn't change one fact…" Ashlynn said mysteriously.

"What's that?" questioned Kenny.

She grinned and pressed the barrel of the (faaaaaaake) gun onto Raphael's forehead.

"We're still going to win! Aren't we girls?" Ashlynn laughed.

"Hell yeah!" Doe whooped.

"Into the gym!" Effie cheered.

"…Yay…?" Satine mumbled.

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"Wow," Laura said sarcastically. "You did absolutely nothing whatsoever in here to change it for the challenge besides turn off the lights. Honestly? I'm a bit disappointed."

"Yeah, yeah, heard it all before," Chris said nonchalantly. "Anyhow, campers! Are you likin' those laser guns?"

"Eh heh heh heh…" Effie laughed manically. "Ah ha ha ha…HA…HA…BWAHAHAHAHAHA! LASER GUNS!"

The girls couldn't help but grin at their psychotic teammate, and the boys paled.

"I'll take that as a yes!" Chris continued. "At any rate, this game is fairly simple. There is one big round, and every so often the environment will change."

"Like the lights will turn _on?!" _Riley gasped sarcastically.

"Nope," Chris replied, who was giving his trademark evil grin. "But they might change like…" he whipped out and pressed a button on a remote. "This!"

Nothing happened.

"Amazing!" Allister mocked.

"I hate these teenagers…" Chris grumbled. He grabbed a walkie-talkie that was strapped to his belt. "Chef! Technical difficulties!"

The large burly man was there in a matter of seconds. He picked up Chris's remote, glanced at it, and then preceded to chuck it at the wall where it smashed.

"Not cool man!" Chris shouted. "How is _that_ supposed to help?"

Contradicting the host's words, the gym _did_ start to change. The bleachers folded into the floor for starters. Then, dark shades flew over every window in the room—blocking out all light from outdoors.

"Mysterious," commented Kenny.

"Alright now let me just find…aha! Found it!" Chris proclaimed. There were a few rustling noises, a couple metallic noises, and Chris then passed out ten night vision goggles to the campers. One set rested on the host's eyes.

"Cool…" Effie purred. "Heh, Doe you're all green-ish…"

The campers marveled their night vision for a while, until loud rumbles from underneath the gym floor took them by surprise. One by one, large pillars rose sky high from opened-up circles in the ground.

"Now, put these on…" Chris instructed, handing out shiny red vests to the campers.

"I'm guessing that's our target?" Satine murmured.

"You guess correctly!" Chris replied. "Here's how this'll be going down…there are three rounds. Each team member has three hits they can take before they're O-U-T!"

"Since there are no bleachers, where do we go when we're," Allister made quotation marks with his fingers, "O-U-T?"

"Just…leave the building, I s'pose," Chris said, shrugging. "Alright, who's ready to rock some laser tag?"

"You're not telling us something," Kenny said dully.

"Okay, maybe I left a few things out," Chris admitted. "If you don't leave when you get hit three times, then a rather painful shock will remind you. As the round goes on, the environment will be…not so fun. And…I have some dramatic background music for the fights!"

"Let's see," Chris continued, scratching his chin. "Chef put his CD player somewhere…" He squinted and searched around for the missing item. "Here it is! Alright then…" he bent down, and pressed a few buttons. "Now…hitting play!"

_"I'm a Barbie girl! In a Barbie woooorld! Life in plastic, it's fantastic!" _Came the noise from the CD player.

"MAKE IT STOP!" Ashlynn wailed.

"IT'S THE NEXT TRACK!" Chef shouted.

Chris, shaking with laughter, hit the 'skip song' button and went to the next one.

"Battle Without Honor or Humanity…" Raphael mused, recognizing the song. "That's certainly a better choice."

"You got that right," Riley agreed, rubbing his eardrums irritably.

"Alright, let's go ahead and start…The Big Fight: Boys versus Girls LASER TAG!" Chris shouted, facing the camera.

"In night vision!" Effie added, sticking her face inches away from the camera screen.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The boys got on one side of the gym, and the girls went to the other, brandishing their weapons. There was no boundary line, so once Chris blew the whistle they could go anywhere they wanted.

In a matter of just a few seconds, the whistle sounded off.

The ten campers started moving quietly around the gym, awaiting the perfect target. Unfortunately, the boys were still a little freaked over having to face Effie.

_"_Calm down…" Raphael told himself. "Be…Master Chief. You've done this a million times before. There's nothing to be afraid of."

As if on cue, Effie ran by him, screaming her head off—

"AH HA HA! DIE, ALIEN SCUM!"

Raphael and the rest of the boys gulped. And then, they scrambled, trying to avoid the sinister redhead. Effie was shooting her gun like crazy at Kenny, who was just barely moving out of the way quickly enough.

All of a sudden, Effie stopped. Curious, she smacked her gun—it had stopped shooting.

"Oh yeah!" Chris exclaimed from a corner in the gym. "After twenty shots, you're gun will have to take two minutes to recharge, so don't go too deep in enemy if you're gonna go on a shooting spree."

"Now he tells us!" Satine groaned.

"Don't worry," Doe grinned. "It's Effie. _Master_ of all things involving the word 'escape'."

The boys were surrounding Effie, and Chris turned the music up to help the mood.

"Lemme guess…" Allister said, gun poised and ready to fire.

"You'll never…" Thomas continued.

"Get me…" Kenny added.

"ALIIIIVE!" Effie finished. She then proceeded to chuck her gun high up in the air, distracting the boys. She crouched, and with her shoulder held out, rammed into the unfortunate Allister. She then grabbed _his_ gun, and held it out threateningly.

"I suggest we run!" Raphael shouted, before all the boys minus the on-the-floor Allister scrambled…again. Effie grinned, and proceeded to shoot Allister's vest three times. Allister groaned, and after a while, managed to stand up.

"Alright, I guess you got m—FUDGE MONKEYS!" He let out the cry of 'fudge monkeys' after being shocked by his vest. He glared at Chris irritably. "I'm going, I'm going!"

"Ladies and gentlemen, Allister has left the building!" Chris joked. The others rolled their eyes, and continued their game.

"Alright, who wants a piece of this?" Riley taunted under his breath as he searched around the gym and ducked around pillars. He paused, and listened, for he heard some noises from behind one of the many pillars.

"Oy…who do we have here?" He shouted, running over to the other side to find a crouching Raphael.

"Don't shoot!" Raphael said quickly.

"Fine…" Riley chuckled, holstering his gun. "What're you doing, anyways?"

"Just waiting for someone to stumble along," Raphael replied.

"You mean like me?" A new voice questioned, one that was behind Riley.

"Aw, crap…" Riley groaned. "Hello, Ashlynn."

"Hey Riley," Ashlynn replied, whipping her gun out. Riley turned around to whip his out as well, and they both shot at each other—Riley just a few seconds later then Ashlynn.

"Strike one for you and me," Riley remarked. "If you need me, I'll be somewhere…over there-ish…" He ran off.

"Hi Ash--" Raphael started to greet, before some loud rumbling interrupted him. The pillar he had been leaning on disappeared into the ground. Then, from different points in the ceiling, bright infrared lasers flashed around on the ground.

"If you get hit by any of these lasers…" Chris announced. "Then that's a strike!"

"Crap!" Raphael groaned, as he swooped up to avoid a laser that was about to cross his arm. Ashlynn, besides him, somersaulted out of the way of a laser as well.

"Hate this challenge…" she muttered. Glancing at Raphael and smirking a little, she aimed her gun at him.

"I don't think so," laughed Raphael. He got out his own gun and took a few shots at Ashlynn. She managed to avoid the first two, but the third hit her in the ribs.

Ashlynn retaliated with a few shots of her own. Raphael just barely managed to get out of the way. The fight went on like that for a while until both of them were out of ammo. Groaning, they waited impatiently for their guns to recharge.

Meanwhile, Thomas and Doe were facing off each other.

"Bwahaha!" Doe laughed, dancing out of the way of both Thomas's shots and the lasers from the building itself. "Hee-hee…Effe's teaching me to laugh evilly."

"That's great Doe," Thomas sighed. He stumbled yet again, and Doe took a shot without hesitation.

"That's two strikes," warned Doe. "Are you sure you want to keep this up?"

"Of course!" replied Thomas. "I mean, how am I supposed to be able to--"

"Duck," Doe said suddenly.

"What?" Thomas questioned. He didn't duck, and a laser swept over his head.

"That's three…" Thomas groaned. "So long, Doe."

"That's what happens when you don't listen!" Doe giggled as Thomas began to exit the room.

"You stole that line from me!" Riley shouted as he ran away from Effie's shooting range. Doe grinned sheepishly.

"Both Thomas and Ashlynn are out!" Chris announced suddenly.

"Nice going, Raphael!" Kenny said pleasantly, high-fiving his friend.

"She is so going to kill me for that…" groaned Raphael.

Over on the other side of the gym, Riley was still trying to get Effie off of his tail.

"I don't suppose you can be bribed, can you?" Riley chuckled.

"No siree!" Effie exclaimed. "I strive for one thing and one thing only! For the freedom of my people!"

"Say what now?" Riley questioned, an eyebrow quirked. Effie proceeded to go onto a long speech—one that Riley wasn't paying much attention too, due to the fact that he was making his escape. While Effie still continued to give her speech to no one but the wall, Kenny snuck up behind her and shot her three times in the back.

"Effie's out!" Chris announced.

"What?!" Doe cried.

"Oh no!" Satine groaned. Laura, meanwhile, was sitting casually on the ground, filing her nails.

"Have you done anything in this challenge yet?" Doe asked her irritably.

"No," replied the queen bee. Noticing the glare, she sighed, rolled her eyes, and whipped her gun out. "If you insist."

Laura walked casually towards the actual fight. Satine sighed as she stared after her.

"I so don't have the guts to do this…" she muttered.

"I can help with that problem," Raphael offered. Satine, surprised, looked up to see Raphael—who proceeded to shoot the shy one's vest three times. Satine stood for a moment, just babbling incoherently from surprise, until the vest shocked her and she grudgingly went out the door. Much to everyone's surprise, the lasers that the gym was producing suddenly disappeared. The ground rumbled yet again.

Now, the ground kept moving forwards, as if it were a treadmill or a conveyer belt.

"Holy crap!" Riley shouted, struggling to keep his balance over the fast-moving floor. He tripped, and his fellow alliance member Laura managed to hit his vest twice. Riley glared at the queen bee, sighed, shook his head, and exited the room reluctantly.

"Two versus two! Doe and Laura against Raphael and Kenny! Who will win?!" Chris shouted dramatically.

"FOR LETI!" Kenny shouted, charging towards Doe.

"FOR CHINCHILLAS!" Doe screamed, charging towards Kenny.

"For the love of God…" Raphael groaned, slapping his forehead. Meanwhile, Doe and Kenny ran into each other and started shooting like crazy. Doe managed to accidentally shoot Laura, as did Kenny.

"That's two strikes for Laura!" Chris snickered.

"Argh!" Laura said indignantly. "Idiots!" She started shooting at the still-wrestling duo, and managed to hit Kenny and Doe twice as well.

"Two strikes for Kenny and Doe!" Chris chimed in.

Raphael, slightly amused and slightly confused, stood nearby watching the whole ordeal. Chris, noticing this, decided to add—

"Raphael still has no strikes whatsoever!"

All three of the huffily fighting campers (even Kenny) without even looking away from their scrap, fired a shot at the unfortunate Raphael.

"Kenny, why did you shoot _me_?!" Raphael growled.

"Wait…what?" Kenny mumbled, confused. He seemed to snap out of whatever trance he was in, and groaned. "Oh crap…sorry man."

"S'okay," Raphael sighed. "I better go now before—ARGH!"

An electrocuted Raphael reluctantly exited the gym.

It didn't take very long for Kenny to be hit again, alas, and the final ten challenge ended with this…

"GIRLS WIN!" Chris hollered. The girls from outside the gym cheered loudly, and the boys all groaned.

"Boys…meet me at the campfire!"

---------------------------------------------------------------------------

The five boys sat on the stumps of the campfire, some with still cindered clothes. Chris held out the four marshmallows tauntingly, and finally began calling out the campers names.

"Raphael." Surprised, Raphael went up to grab his marshmallow.

"Allister. Riley."

The remaining campers, Thomas and Kenny, glanced at each other fearfully.

"Kenny, you fired a shot at your own teammate. While hilarious, it may have cost you the win. Thomas, you were out just by your own bad skills. Campers, the final marshmallow goes to…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

Kenny."

Kenny breathed a sigh of relief, and grabbed his invincibility treat. He shook Thomas's hand, and smiled at him.

"We'll miss you dude," said Kenny.

"It's okay, mon," Thomas said pleasantly. "I made it to the final ten at least!"

The other boys high-fived him, and Thomas awaited the Boat of Losers…

Which pulled up with Rachel!

"Rachel!" Thomas exclaimed, his grin growing ten fold. He ran to her, and immediately kissed her. The boys chuckled, and gave the Jamaican one a thumb up.

"I can't believe you lost!" Rachel sighed. "Well, I'm glad we get to see each other again…the Playa de Losers is so much better then this dump…"

As the two left conversing with each other, the remaining girls jogged over to the boys, their cheeks flushed with excitement.

"Guys, come look at this!" Doe said excitedly.

Curious, the final nine ran over to what the girls wanted to point over to them. They ran all the way over to the woods, and when they were there, they couldn't help but smile.

Thousands of fireflies illuminated the sky like tiny stars—matching the millions of stars already in the night sky. The night was calm and peaceful and a cool wind rustled through the trees.

As the nine sat down and marveled at this rare sign of beauty at Camp Wawanakwa—they all couldn't help but think of the good things that had happened to them at camp.

Kenny thought of meeting Leti and how she helped him open up more.

Riley couldn't help but grin as he imagined Rosetta's scowl, and her smile, which was even cuter to him than the former.

Raphael and Ashlynn glanced at each other and smiled.

"So we made it to the final nine together…" Raphael murmured so quietly that the others couldn't hear him.

"We are so screwed," was the faint, sighing reply from Ashlynn.

Doe giggled lightly to herself as she played the sound of Kevin's laugh in her head.

Effie hummed and thought of good memories with Doe, for example—placing a baby alligator in Chris's toilet.

Satine was in high spirits with being allowed back on the show, and wondered how far she could make it this time around.

Allister reflected on his time with Charity, and how he marveled at her closeness with her sister.

And Laura? Well, Laura's thoughts weren't quite as pleasant so we won't mention them. This was a happy time, after all.

**Who voted for whom?**

Allister—Kenny

Thomas—Kenny

Riley—Thomas

Kenny—Thomas

Raphael—Thomas

Thomas: Three votes

Kenny: Two votes

**(A.N.) FRIIIENDSHIP. Cheesy ending, but whatever. Apologies to HirotheGreat kicking off Thomas. Adios, one and all.**


	21. La De Frickin' Da

"Er…hi," Kenny greeted with a weak wave. "My turn to do the intro, I guess. Let's get this over with, shall we? Last time on Total Drama Island…the FINAL TEN, and yes, they told me to shout that, were directed to the gym for a battle-of-the-sexes laser tag game, after some oddly coincidental arguing over the better gender in the mess hall earlier that morning. Some campers were a little…uncoordinated, to say the least, but other go-to gamers or athletes such as Raphael and Laura were able to take the lead."

"It was a time of oh-so awkward love for Raphael and Ashlynn…of loss for the boys… and of reuniting for Thomas and Rachel, for Thomas was the one to walk the Dock of Shame. Now—will Raphael and Ashlynn be able to stay together in the show? How much longer will the queen bee Laura stay? Find out on…um…"

"Don't tell me," a rather familiar voice guessed from off-screen. "The script Chris wrote says to do something like sing the words 'Total Drama Island' at the end?"

Kenny immediately dropped his script in surprise.

"I know that voice…Gwen?" He asked, surprised. The well-known Goth walked towards Kenny.

"In the flesh," she replied, with a nonchalant shrug. "Me and Trent are here…to be guest stars today. We didn't really want to, but you know, stupid contracts."

"Hey!" Trent said pleasantly, walking on screen as well. "You must be Kenny."

"Yeah," Kenny mumbled, turning a little red from meeting one of the first season's most popular. "H…hi."

Gwen glanced at the camera.

"So, Chris too lazy to do the intros now?" She asked.

"Apparently," Kenny chuckled.

"So, where's the rest of the gang at?" Trent questioned, wrapping an arm around Gwen's shoulders. She turned her head and smiled at him.

"Probably at the mess hall," Kenny answered. "It's around breakfast here."

"Ew," Gwen made a face. "Poor guys."

"We're used to it," Kenny laughed. "We've certainly been here a while."

"Yup," Trent agreed. "We've been watching you guys."

"Rooting for anyone in particular?" questioned Kenny.

"Anyone but Laura," Gwen growled. "Another backstabbing manipulative queen bee—that's just what the world needs." She rolled her eyes.

"Ah, maybe today will be the day for her elimination," Kenny said pleasantly.

"Just gotta be hopeful, I suppose," Trent sighed. "So, you said the mess hall, right?" Kenny nodded. "All right…let's go, then!"

Trent and Gwen made their over to the end of the dock. But then, Trent fell in the hole left by Satine two episodes ago, and in an attempt to pull himself back up, ended up pushing both Gwen and Kenny into the lake as well.

"Gah!" Gwen shouted, as she popped her head up from the lake water. "We're not even _on_ this show anymore Trent, and you're _still_ prone to injuries here!"

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The two guest stars and Kenny walked into the mess hall to the other campers, wet, but at least sort of somewhat happy.

"EEE!" Satine squealed. "Gwen! Trent! You guys were totally my favorite from last year."

"Ow…ears…" Riley groaned. "Tone down the squealing, please."

"Darn it!" Doe shouted. Everyone turned to stare at her in surprise, (or slight annoyance), and she blushed. "I just mean, you know…I was kind of hoping for Courtney and Duncan. But, you guys are cool too! Seriously!" She held up two thumbs up.

"So, do you guys have a good challenge in store for us?" Ashlynn asked.

"One that doesn't involve mindless electric shocks? Twice is enough," muttered Raphael, his hair still a little frizzy from last challenge.

"What, wasn't that little twist 'shocking' enough?" Effie giggled.

"Aw Effie," Allister groaned. "Did you have to go with the puns?"

"Today's a three part challenge," Trent told the campers. "It's centered on music!"

"And for those who have no musical talent…?" Laura questioned, a hand and an eyebrow raised.

"We finally found something she's bad at!" Kenny whooped. "Yes!"

"I wasn't talking about me," Laura replied, smirking. "I was just talking in general. Leave it to creepy Goth girl to think of an incredibly vague challenge."

"And leave it to stupid prep girl to not even think of original insults," retaliated Gwen.

"I learn from the best," Laura sneered.

"You mean the worst," Gwen corrected.

"Ladies, ladies!" Riley comforted, stepping in between the two fighting gals. "How about a truce? Both of you are creepy in your own special way. How's that?"

"You remind me of someone Riley," Trent remarked.

"Like, a clone of Duncan?" Gwen snickered.

"Nuh-uh-uh!" Riley protested. "There's one major difference…"

"And that would be?" Gwen prompted.

"Well, I'm much more awesome…"

"Yup, he's the new Duncan alright," Trent laughed.

"Have you guys heard anything from the _real_ Duncan?" Doe asked hopefully. "Or even better, from my sister Courtney?"

"Me and Courtney weren't exactly 'best buds'…" Gwen said dryly. "As for Duncan, I haven't heard much from him either. From what I've heard from Bridgette though about them…" Doe jumped up and down excitedly, "Their challenge involves the word 'princess' apparently. That's doesn't give away a lot though."

"Asides from the fact that it's probably centered around Courtney?" Raphael guessed.

"Meh. Probably." Just then, Gwen's phone rang. With Gwen curious and the season two campers pretty certain who it was, the Goth flipped it open.

"_You don't see US giving away YOUR challenges! GAH!" _Courtney's voice shouted angrily before the CIT hung up and a dial tone was emitted from the cell phone. Doe buried her head in her hands, trying to muffle her laughter.

"You're sister's probably even more insane than Effie," Allister commented to Doe. "You know that, right?"

"But of course!" Doe grinned. "That's why I love her so much!" She bumped fists with Effie. "And that's why _we're_ best buds!"

"The craziness is quite contagious!" Effie hooted.

"She's got a point," Raphael chuckled as he rubbed his temples. "I'm starting to feel pretty insane myself…" Ashlynn elbowed him playfully.

"Insane enough to win this challenge?" questioned the brunette.

"Hopefully," Raphael replied. "I can play the piano nicely."

"I can dance!" Doe squealed, jumping on the table and doing a little jig.

"Kazooooo!" Effie squealed, referring to the familiar purple metal instrument.

"I play the guitar…" Allister mumbled, slightly embarrassed at this previously unknown fact.

"I sing alright," Riley mused, shrugging.

"Er…flute-player," Satine said sheepishly.

"That's great!" Trent said cheerfully. "If that's the case then…follow us to the stage for part one of the challenge!"

"And before you blame us for anything…" Gwen said cautiously. "This part was _not_ our idea."

"Great," Allister said sarcastically. "What exactly is _that_ supposed to mean?"

Gwen and Trent left without answering, as did the other eight contestants.

"I wasn't talking to _myself_!" Allister yelled, before rolling his eyes and exiting the mess hall as well.

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"Wow…" Raphael remarked, kicking the giant box of clothes in front of him with his foot. "How are we supposed to find anything in this?"

"Like I said, not our idea…" Gwen sighed. "Lindsay heard what we were doing, and begged us to put this in here."

"It won't be an actual 'part' of the challenge…" Trent continued. "But they're specific outfits in here for you guys and if you take them off you get disqualified."

"Everything's…relatively modest, right?" Satine mumbled.

"Pretty much," Chris said, walking up towards the group of campers. He glared at Trent and Gwen. "Way to get started without me, guys."

"We were hoping you wouldn't show," Gwen grinned.

"So campers," Chris continued, ignoring the Goth. "Put on your outfits! They all have your nametags on them, don't worry, you can take those off once you have the clothes on. And once you have them on…strut in on the stage from behind the curtains so that all the viewing audience can see your concert clothes!"

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

Effie was the first one out—being out in just a matter of seconds.

"Wow," Gwen said, surprised. "I guess crazy girls can change at the speed of light, huh?"

"Maaaybe!" Effie giggled. "And this outfit is _so cool!_" Effie was wearing a black denim skirt with a green long sleeved shirt. Her hair was pulled up in a high ponytail—and she wore black combat boots along with a bunch of glittery rings on her fingers. Effie's favorite part of the outfit was two black plastic Gothic bat wings that rested on her back.

"Rawr!" Effie continued. "Is it a bird? No! Is it a plane? Nuh-uh! It's…SUPER EFFIE WITH BAT WINGS!" She ran around the stage a few times, attempted to fly with her new 'wings', fell on her face, and tried several more times.

"Alright, guess I'm next…" sighed Riley, as he reluctantly walked on stage. He was dressed in a stylish Italian suit. His hair was gelled in spikes that weren't quite as messy as his original hair. "We're in the great outdoors and I'm wearing a suit. That's just wrong."

"You better like it," Trent chuckled. "It sure cost us—or I should say, _Chris_—a boatload of cash."

"What?!" Chris shouted. "I didn't approve of any expensive suits!"

"Too late, host-man," laughed Gwen. "Next!"

"This is _not my style_," Laura hissed. "I hate this outfit so much it's taking me all of my willpower just not to rip it off right now."

"Mental images!" Gwen wailed.

Laura was wearing baggy ripped khakis that covered her feet, and a white tank short-sleeved shirt along with it. She wore a red beanie atop her head.

"Not exactly digging the skater-chick get-up?" Chris snickered. "Either way, get ready for the next contestant to show her new outfit…Ashlynn!"

Ashlynn sighed and tugged at the end of her elbow-length black finger gloves. She wore a red and black checkered skirt, and a white collared shirt. Her brown hair was a bit messier then norm, and the skirt she wore had a titled black leather belt. To top it all off, she had thick black eyeliner on.

"Nice!" Trent complemented. "Kind of rocker chick-y…Lindsay sure has a variety of fashion tastes."

"It's alright," Ashlynn mumbled. "It reminds me a bit too much of my school uniform though."

As she hopped off the stage, her boyfriend **(A.N. Yes, I can finally call him her boyfriend, XD) **Raphael was not quite as keen on showing everybody his new outfit.

"You coming, Raphael?" questioned Ashlynn.

"I'm not doing this," was the stifled reply.

"Oh come on," Ashlynn laughed. "How bad can it be?"

Raphael stomped onto stage, and Ashlynn could barely hold in her laughter. Raphael was wearing a black hoodie with red flames decorated on it. The band name 'DISTURBED' was written on the front. He was also no longer wearing his glasses, as the outfit given to him provided him with contacts.

"Don't…say…a word…" threatened Raphael. Ashlynn ignored him. Hey, you could probably view it as payback for the laser tag shooting.

As Ashlynn rolled on the ground shaking with laughter, Satine walked onto stage. Her modesty wish had been granted. She wore a cute pink lacy kimono with a complementary umbrella to go with it. The kimono was decorated with the illustrations of white petals.

"That's pretty!" Gwen told the shy one, who blushed in response, and walked down the steps of the stage.

Allister strutted, if you can say a guy strutted, next onto stage. He wore a fedora that was tilted over one of his eyes. Along with that, he wore a red buttoned collared shirt and black dress pants. He waved a fancy-looking cane at those already sitting in their outfits.

"Classy," commented Chris.

"Thanks," Allister chuckled. "I like the hat, at least."

Doe walked on next. She wore a one-strapped baby blue tank top, a black denim sleeveless and open vest, and black shorts. Along with that, she wore millions of bangles on her arms and cherry-red lipstick.

"Jingle-jingle!" She sang, rustling all the bracelets on her arms. 'Man alive, these are cool. Can I keep these when this challenge is over?"

"Sure," Gwen replied.

"Sweet!" Riley said from the sidelines. He pointed to his suit. "I'm selling this baby!"

"And this'll be going in the trash," Raphael grumbled, glaring at his hoodie as if it had just insulted him.

"Aw…does it have to?" Ashlynn whined. "I think it's cute on you."

**Confession Cam: The Diary of Ja—er, Ashlynn**

"On second thought, maybe I'll keep it," Raphael said sheepishly.

------------------------------------------------------------

Kenny was the last to come on. He wore a pair of headphones around his neck, an orange shirt with a white sleeveless hoodie over it, and blue jeans.

"How come he gets the casual wear?" Raphael complained.

"Hey—it's still music related. I mean, there are headphones there at least," Allister chuckled.

"Well, that part's over…" Trent mused.

"Thank God," sighed Gwen.

"Now, let's get started on the _real_ first part of the challenge!" Chris said cheerfully.

"You've got to be kidding me," Ashlynn growled.

"'Fraid not!" Chris cackled. "Follow me campers to the edge of the forest!"

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Now…" Chris continued, once he and the final remaining nine campers were at the forest. He started to hand out maps to each of the campers. "These maps show you where a certain musical instrument is. It should lead you to the one that corresponds to your musical talents."

He paused. The campers exchanged glances, and then glared at the host.

"What?" The host asked, irritated.

"You're not telling us something…" Doe accused.

"Again," Laura added, rolling her eyes.

"Nope," Chris assured them, flashing them a toothpaste commercial grin. "No catch. In fact, the instruments aren't even hard to get. Just find 'em, grab 'em, and bring 'em back here! Easy as that! In fact, a tad boring!"

"If you say so," Kenny sighed.

"On the count of three…" Chris announced. "One…two…three!" He shot a flare gun up into the air, and nearly hit one of the trees.

"Nice going," Ashlynn said sarcastically.

"Just move already!" The host ordered. The nine campers scrambled into the forest.

"Why did you bring us here if you were going to do most of the rule-giving for us?" Gwen asked wryly.

"Evil host, remember?" Chris snickered. "Besides, you two are good for ratings…go make out or something."

Gwen smacked him upside the head.

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In a little less than an hour, most all campers returned to the three challenge administrators. All of them had their musical objects in their hands.

"You got a microphone?" Trent asked Kenny, who nodded in response. "But we already have one back at the stage…" As Kenny slapped his forehead, Gwen glared at Chris.

"Evil host!" Chris reminded her in a sing-song voice.

"So Kenny got a microphone…" Doe said slowly. "And I was able to get a whole karaoke machine?" She gestured towards the machine at her feet. Kenny slapped his forehead…again.

"You're better of than me!" Laura growled, facing Kenny. "I got an extension cord! How does that even relate to music?"

"You could use it for the microphone!" Chris replied.

"Like the microphone you already have back at stage?" Kenny grunted.

"Exactly!" Chris grinned.

"Hey…" Laura said suddenly. "Where's nerdling?"

"You mean Raphael?" Ashlynn corrected irritably.

"That's what I said," Laura replied, smirking. Ashlynn clenched his teeth.

"Good question…" Allister mumbled. "Where is he?"

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"I…hate…moving…pianos…" Raphael panted, as he kept pushing his incredibly heavy grand piano in the forest inch by inch. "How'd they even get this thing in the forest?!"

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Should I go look for him?" Ashlynn asked, feeling concerned.

"I don't know if you can…" Doe mumbled. "After all, the challenge isn't over yet, right?"

"Right," Trent agreed. "He'll be fine. What's the worst that could happen?"

"Well, that was there one time with Cody and the bear…" Effie rambled. Ashlynn whimpered, and Doe patted her shoulder comfortingly.

"Either way…let's go to the next part of the challenge!" Chris announced.

"Don't you care at all?!" Allister snapped at the host. The others eyed him.

"Right…" he sighed. "Stupid question, wasn't it?"

---------------------------------------------------------------------------

"I knew this was too easy!" Laura groaned. She and seven of the other campers stood at a large gravel pathway. Shooting up from the gravel periodically were jets of flames. "Chris, I hate you!"

"Seconded," Satine groaned, glancing the long trail of her kimono behind her. "Can I skip out from this?" She asked, fingering her flute.

"Nope!" Chris replied. "In fact…you can go first!" He edged Satine to the beginning of the pathway. Satine gulped, took a step forward and…

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"Maybe I can just take a break…" sighed Raphael. He leaned against the piano. "Just resting my eyes…"

He instantly slapped himself.

"You really are going insane. Don't fall asleep in the middle of the Wawanakwa forest! Great. Not to mention, I'm talking to myself. That's…sign two…of insanity…"

He dozed off.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------

"I made it!" Satine gasped, clutching her barely charred dress at the end of the pathway.

"That's really good for you…" Trent sighed. "But while you were screaming and waving your arms frantically, you dropped your flute."

The musician gestured towards the silver wind instrument laying somewhere near the middle of the path.

"Well…" Satine mumbled. "Maybe I can still grab--"

FWOOSH. A gigantic flame sprung up and enveloped the small instrument completely.

"Scratch that," Satine squeaked in a rather high-pitched voice.

Doe decided to go next. She lugged her karaoke machine close to the path, and then, swinging around rapidly in circles, she chucked the machine high in the air. It went zooming over the path—and while it was doing so—she ran past all the flames towards the other side. With a smug grin, she caught the heavy machine in her arms.

"Oh yeah!" Doe bragged. "Who has mad skills? Doe has mad skills!" She did a victory dance for herself.

Effie passed as well—clutching her kazoo in her teeth and passing the path of flames effortlessly. She and Doe exchanged a new secret hand shake.

"That was actually pretty fun, running through there!" Effie squealed.

"Er…Effie?" Doe mumbled.

"Yeah?"

"Your hair is on fire."

Effie laughed nervously.

"Oh," she said, and jumped into the nearest source of water.

----------------------------------------------------------

Raphael awoke to the sound of someone, or something, playing Mozart. He slowly opened his eyes, and could've sworn a bear was crouched in front of him, playing his piano with his claws.

"You're quite good…" he murmured, still half-asleep.

Then, the fact that there _was_ a bear in front of him registered, and he jumped up screaming.

The bear glanced at him, and then the piano. It seemed to almost shrug, and nudged the piano casually with its nose.

"I must be dreaming!" Raphael groaned. He slapped himself. "Okay. Not dreaming." The bear continued nudging the piano, and wondering what the hell he was doing, Raphael went over and started pushing it as well.

"Why do I feel the urge to make conversation with a bear?" he wondered to himself.

-------------------------------------------------------------------

Allister was the only other one of the remaining four campers to successfully get his electric guitar over to the other side.

"Not like we lost much," Kenny amended. And that much was true. Kenny lost his unneeded microphone; Laura lost her useless extension cord, Ashlynn lost a recorder she no longer knew how to play, and Riley lost a wire. He wasn't really sure what it was for.

"One more challenge part left!" Trent announced. He stuck his tongue out at Chris. "Looks like I beat you to it."

"Raphael still isn't here!" Ashlynn cried.

"He'll be fine!" Doe insisted. "Raphael's a smart guy!"

"He's not very athletic though," Ashlynn groaned.

"Or social," Laura added.

"Or brave," Riley muttered.

"Not helping!" Ashlynn snorted, rolling her eyes.

"Well, either way, let's go back to the stage once again for the final part of your challenge…because you will be putting on a presentation for us three judges!" Chris announced. He stuck his tongue out at Trent. "Beat you to it _that_ time."

"Since not all of you have instruments…"

"A wire is not an instrument!" Riley shouted.

"That's beside the point!" Chris replied. "Anyhow, the people entertaining us will be…Allister! Doe! And Effie! You have an hour to come up an awesome act involving your musical…thing!"

"Hey," Riley whispered, leaning over to Doe. "Would you let me sing with you with your karaoke machine, to split invincibility?"

"Why would I?" Doe replied. It wasn't angry; she just wasn't sure why she should.

"Well…for one thing, two people would be more impressive then one. And…you have my word that I won't vote for you for the rest of the show. _And…_I'll vote for whoever you want me to vote for."

Doe paused, and then smiled.

"It's a deal."

The two shook hands.

"Oh crap," Riley groaned.

"What is it?" questioned Doe.

"Well, for one thing your machine is missing. Who else could it be besides…" he gestured towards the queen bee herself. "Laura?"

"Laura!" Doe shouted. "Give that back!"

"Give what back?" Laura asked innocently, hugging Doe's karaoke machine to her chest. "I never took anything."

"Chris!" Doe growled. "She stole that from me!"

"Hm…" Chris pretended to think about it. "I don't think I saw anything like that. Are you sure she didn't have it the whole time?"

"Stop playing favoritism with the mean girl!" Gwen shouted. "Laura stole that from Doe!"

"No evidence, no go," Chris replied. He turned to Doe. "Sorry, bra."

Doe stomped her heels in frustration, and Riley leaned down to say quickly—

"I know someone else who has a karaoke machine. If Laura can play cheats, we can too."

Doe grinned.

"Mr. Fox, I like the way you think!"

----------------------------------------------------------------------------

Raphael and the bear finally made it to the edge of the forest.

"Um…thank you," Raphael said awkwardly after some time. "I…couldn't have done it without you."

Raphael could've sworn the bear saluted him.

"So long," Raphael said quickly. "I need to find the other campers to tell them I was able to grab the piano. Thanks again!"

The bear sniffled, and nodded.

**Confession Cam: Yeah. This is just a little too odd.**

"All I wanted was a friend…" the bear sniffled, speaking in subtitles. "Is that so wrong?!"

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"You could've told me it was Chef we were stealing from!" Doe hissed. Riley shrugged.

"You didn't ask!" he replied.

The two edged towards the mess hall, where they found Chef reading a magazine with a pony on the cover. Doe raised an eyebrow, but decided against speaking more. She turned her head, and saw the karaoke machine in the corner. Nudging Riley, the two made their way over to the corner.

Unfortunately, that was just when Chef found them.

"What are you two up to?" He growled.

"Um…" Doe said nervously. "We were kind of hoping…we could maybe use that karaoke machine there?"

"NO!" Chef barked. "THIS IS MY MACHINE!"

"Chef--" Doe pleaded.

"MY MACHINE!" Chef interrupted. Riley crossed his arms and grinned.

"Whose machine?" he questioned.

"MY MACHINE!"

Doe glared at Riley.

"How is that helpful?!"

Riley chuckled, and then said the first thing that came to his mind—

"Look! Over there! A pony!" Chef turned his head, and Riley grabbed the karaoke machine, heading out the door as fast as humanely possible. Doe followed, and the two ran out just in time.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------

Allister, who was feeling incredibly nervous, fidgeted on his stool and tuned his electric guitar. The panel of judges—Chris, Trent, and Gwen, sat in front of him.

"Any time you're ready," Trent told him. Allister nodded. He was ready. Just as soon as he stopped sweating. With one quick sigh, he began hitting a few chords on the guitar, and started singing. His voice was good, but a bit too quiet and rough.

_"__What has come over me? What madness taken hold of my heart? To run away, the only answer. Pulling me away to run upon my sight. So now recovering… sweet shadow taking hold of the light, another day has been devoured, calling me away, bringing the question: Why? For saving me from all they've taken…let my armor fall again… giving me the strength to face them…"_

"_Feeling it taking over…now! On a path to take it all away…there can be no better way of knowing! In a world beyond controlling! Are you going to deny the savior In front of your eyes? Stare into the night! Power beyond containing… Are you going to remain a slave for the __rest of your life__? Give into the night!" _He decided to stop at one verse and one chorus, since he was feeling a little too rusty to complete a full song.

However, he received tons of cheers for his efforts.

"Yo man!" Chris said cheerfully. "That was hot! You were rocking that song!"

"It…was amazing!" Trent agreed. "You were very powerful!"

"The original was much better," Gwen said grumpily. "Hearing a remix with just the guitar was just the worst bloody thing I had to listen to!"

"I swear I've seen this kind of judging before," Ashlynn mused, tapping her chin thoughtfully.

Ignoring that, the judges held up their scores. It was eight points from Chris, eight points from Trent, and three from Gwen.

"Next is the queen bee…Laura!"

Laura marched up to stage, looking smug as ever. She turned on the music from her karaoke machine, grabbed the given microphone and starting singing. Her voice was, unfortunately, very good.

_"Step back gonna come at ya fast! I'm driving out of control, and getting ready to crash! Won't stop shaking up what I can I serve it up in a shot, so suck it down like a man! So baby yes I know what I am and no I don't give a damn and you'll be loving it, ah… some days I'm a super bitch!"_

"You got that right!" Effie hollered. Laura ignored this and continued singing._ "Up to my old tricks! But it won't last forever. Next day I'm your super girl! Out to save the world and it keeps gettin' better!"_

After she finished, she bowed, and grinned. After a judging remarkably similar to the last one—Chris held up a ten, Trent (not wanting to be bias) held up a ten as well, and Gwen (who couldn't care less if she was bias) held up a zero.

"That's nineteen for Allister's rendition of 'The Night' by Disturbed, and that's an unfortunate twenty points for the annoying Laura, for her choice of 'Keeps Getting Better' by, and this is making me sick, Christina Aguilera," Gwen announced, glancing at the camera. She turned to Trent and Chris and grinned. "There. I beat you _both_ to it."

Effie was up next. She held out her kazoo, nodded solemnly, and started playing.

It was beautiful. The judges and the audience laughed, cried, and at the end, Effie managed to get an amazing score of twenty-five points.

"Never underestimate the power of the kazoo!" Effie squealed, as she ran off stage.

"Well…" Chris mused, after some time. "I guess that's everybo--"

"WAIT!" shouted three different voices. From the left came Doe and Riley, holding a karaoke machine, and from the right came Raphael.

"What took you so long?" Ashlynn exclaimed, running over to Raphael to hug him. "I was scared witless! What happened to you?"

"You wouldn't believe me if I told you…" replied Raphael.

"We have…a karaoke machine too!" Doe gasped, as she lugged the karaoke machine over to Chris.

"Well…I'd hate to contradict myself…so what the hey? Give it your best shot, Doe!"

"And I'd like Riley to sing with me!" Doe added quickly. Chris quirked an eyebrow, but shrugged. The two of them ran over to begin their song. Doe flipped the karaoke music on, and the two started singing. They appeared to be doing a scene of sorts—Riley was in one corner, fiddling with what appeared to be a broken microphone, and Doe was watching uncertainly.

"_The samples won't delay, but the cable,"_ she murmured, singing.

_"There's another way. Say something – anything,"_ Riley instructed. Doe sighed and leaned into a different mike.

"_Test, one, two three…"_ she muttered.

_"Anything but…that,"_ Riley snorted, rolling his eyes. Doe fidgeted, and made her way over to Riley with a frown.

"_This is weird,"_ she said plainly.

"_It's weird,"_ Riley agreed.

"_Very weird…"_ Doe sighed.

"_Frickin' weird!"_ Riley smirked. Doe glared at him, and turned away.

"_I'm so mad, that I don't know what to do!" _She growled. _"Fighting with microphones, freezing down to my bones, and to top it all off? I'm with you!"_ Riley seemed unfazed at the insults, and merely continued his work from on top a small step.

"_Feel like going insane, got a fire in your brain, and you're thinking of drinking gasoline?"_ he guessed.

"_As a matter of fact,"_ Doe chuckled.

"_Honey I know this act!"_ Riley interrupted. _"It's called—the Tango Satine!"_

"Did he just say my name?" a half asleep Satine asked.

"I think he did…" Ashlynn replied, a small grin forming on her face.

"_The Tango Satine!"_ Riley continued. _"It's a dark dizzy, merry go round! As she keeps you dangling…"_

"_You're wrong!"_ Doe growled.

"_You're heart she is mangling…"_

"_It's different, with me!"_ Doe insisted.

"_And you toss and you turn, cause her cold eyes can burn—yet you yearn and you churn and rebound!"_

"_I think I know what you mean…" _Doe sighed.

"_The Tango Satine!" _They finished in unison. To cut the time of the song, they finished there. However, since the music continued, they danced the tango for the remainder of the time. Doe was an outstanding dancer, and even though Riley wasn't quite as good, they two managed to put on an impressive display.

The two got some great applause, and Doe said quickly in the microphone—

"Sorry Satine!" She laughed. "You're name rhymed with the original name and we couldn't resist!" Poor Satine had her bright red head buried in her hands from the attention.

"_Her cold eyes can burn_?" Chris repeated, stifling a laugh. "Nice. I give you guys a ten."

"Ten," agreed Trent.

"Nine," said Gwen. She grinned. "If not just to beat Laura."

Doe and Riley grinned and high-fived each other.

"The rest of you!" Chris said, turning on the others. "Meet me at the campfire!"

"I didn't even get to do anything…" Raphael groaned. "Friggin' piano!"

"That's too bad!" Chris told him.

--------------------------------------------------------------------

"I'm going to do this quick," Gwen said, holding out a plate of marshmallows. "Because Chris is in the bathroom. Let's get going, shall we? Allister. Kenny. Laura. Effie. Satine. Doe and Riley, of course."

The remaining two campers were Ashlynn and Raphael.

"Huh," Chris remarked, as he jogged over to the campfire. "That's interesting."

_Commercial Break!_

_Would YOU like to see a sequel to Total Drama Island, Season 2! If you tell us, the author may or may not consider it!_

_Now, back to the program._

Ashlynn and Raphael held each other's hands, smiling weakly at each other.

"So the time has come!" Chris mused. "Who will be going home tonight? The final marshmallow goes to…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

Ashlynn." The brunette sighed and grabbed her treat. Facing Raphael, she closed her eyes.

"So long Ashlynn," Raphael said softly.

"I'm hoping if I open my eyes, I'll just be dreaming this," Ashlynn chuckled weakly. She opened her eyes, and seeing Raphael still in front of her, she sighed.

"Come on, cheer up!" Raphael said pleasantly. "I bet you can win the whole thing…and just because I can…" Raphael quickly leaned forward and kissed Ashlynn on the lips.

After a few seconds, they pulled away blushing.

"Alright then!" Raphael sighed as he turned to the final eight. "Good luck to you all. I'll go ahead and enjoy myself at the Playa de Losers."

As the Boat of Losers pulled up, Raphael began walking towards the Dock of Shame. He got high-five from Effie, Kenny and Riley and a sympathetic pat on the shoulder from Doe.

**Confession Cam: One last chance**

"I don't have too many regrets about leaving…" Raphael murmured. "I got to meet Ashlynn, who is just so amazing…I'm glad I made up with Riley at least…and I made it this far. I even befriended a bear. What am I not to be happy about? And you know what else? I haven't even been hit by a dodge ball for a whi--"

Smack. A dodge ball whapped him right in the face, and as Raphael irritably pulled it away, his serene expression was replaced by a relatively ticked off one.

"Okay, screw this, I'm out of here. Good night, everybody."

Static!

"The little dude had _mad skills!_" Doe exclaimed. "He was totally more then a threat than Laura!"

More static!

"I was just voting with Doe," Riley said shrugging. "Hey, I might be arrogant and conceited but I stick to my word."

Even more static!

"Well, Riley convinced me…" Allister admitted.

Static for the fourth time!

"As much as I wanted Doe off, I could settle with the little nerdling's girlfriend…she bugs me too, you know," Laura said snobbishly.

Static for the fifth time!

"I voted for Effie, I thought her craziness would be a pretty big threat…" Ashlynn sighed. "Bad mistake."

Final static!

"I'm gonna miss that guy," the bear sighed, shaking his head and speaking in subtitle's again.

**Who voted for whom?**

Raphael—Laura

Ashlynn—Riley

Doe—Raphael

Allister—Raphael

Laura—Ashlynn

Riley—Raphael

Satine—Ashlynn

Effie—Raphael

Kenny—Laura

Ashlynn: Two votes

Laura: Two votes

Riley: One vote

Raphael: Four votes

------------------------------------------------------------

"Well, at least we didn't pick too dangerous of a challenge…" Gwen said, smiling as she and Trent walked down the dock together later that night.

"It's the least we can do for these campers," Trent chuckled. Chris was trailing behind them, reluctantly dragging all the instruments along with. The two teens had to take the instruments back with them.

"Nothing dangerous? That's boring…" Chris grumbled. He poked Allister's guitar and sighed. "So no rigged explosives or anything?"

"For the least time no!" Gwen growled. "Why do you keep think that we--"

All of a sudden, all of the instruments caught on fire. Trent did a quick face palm.

"Since when did your show stop obeying the laws of physics?" Gwen shouted, as she reached for the fire extinguisher for the numerous on-fire instruments.

"Well, whatever makes good TV makes good TV!" Chris grinned. "So…why haven't you two made out yet on camera?"

Gwen smacked him upside the head. Again.

"Thanks for guest-starring…it was a blast…" Chris hiccupped as he lay face down on the dock. Gwen smirked.

"Glad to be of service," Trent remarked as he helped Gwen onto the boat and the two sped off, laughing at the host all the way.

**(A.N.) Yup. Against my better judgment I decided to do a music challenge. **

**Apologies to Sonowa for giving Raphael the boot, (I know he had fans, I liked him too!) And it IS kind of bad timing considering you just booted off Connie…unintentional though, really. Like I said, I already had the whole elimination process mapped out.**

**Good night, everyone!**

**Oh yeah, just quickly...the songs in the order they appeared are...**

**"The Night" by Disturbed (AWESOME song!)**

**"Keeps Getting Better" by Christina Aguilera (Bleh...)**

**"Tango Maureen" from the musical Rent.  
**


	22. Guarenteed Insanity or Your Money Back

"Hey-o!" Effie greeted, standing alongside Doe on the Dock of Shame. "No one wants to see Laura do an intro, so…"

"We're doing it again!" Doe finished. "It was only supposed to be Effie doing it, but I was bored so I came along too!"

"Fight the power!" Effie roared.

"So, last time on Total Drama Island…Gwen and Trent guest-starred in a challenge centered around music! We got to put on some cool outfits, search for instruments in the woods--"

"Minus the karaoke machine, the wire Riley got, and the extension cord," Effie added. "After that, we braved the dangerous deep dark flames of that evil pathway! But no flames can stop _Effie_!"

"After that, Laura stole my friggin' karaoke machine!" Doe growled, stomping her foot on the dock in agitation. "What a jerk, eh? But Riley helped me nab another karaoke machine from Chef, in exchange that I shared invincibility with him if we won. And, because we are so very _awesome_, we _did_ win!"

"But I came close!" sniffled Effie. "Darn people don't appreciate the marvels of the kazoo anymore…"

"Anyways, at the end it was the unfortunate Raphael who had to take the Dock of Shame, catch the boat of losers, and never come back..."

"Ever!" Effie grinned. "Heh, we could totally do Chris's job better than him!"

"Oh, maybe we could once we're done with the show!" Doe squealed. "Chris is getting pretty old anyways…"

_"Girls, get on with it!"_ Chris's agitated voice shouted over an intercom. _"And I am NOT old!"_

"Right!" Effie shouted, saluting the intercom.

"Not," Doe whispered, winking at the camera. "So, Raphael had to leave—but he got a kiss from his girl Ashlynn! Aw…"

"So, who will be going home as the final eight campers battle it out? How long will it be before someone decides to slap some sense into Laura? And who will lose their sanity, if they haven't already?" questioned Effie.

"Find out at the most dramatic campfire ceremony yet, on Total! Drama! Island!" Doe exclaimed.

"Hey Doe?" Effie asked.

"Hm?" Doe murmured.

"Last challenge, did you notice that Trent has like, a _freakishly_ long head?"

Doe raised an eyebrow, unsure how she was supposed to answer that.

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"ARGH!" shouted Laura as she plugged her ears in irritation. She and the other Bass girls had awoken to the annoying sounds of construction. "Why the hell is Chris building something here?! Like they could make anything to make this crappy place better!"

"Have you ever noticed how every word that comes out of your mouth is a complaint, an insult, or a complement to yourself?" Ashlynn drawled as she reached for her hairbrush. "I think you need to broaden your vocabulary."

"You okay, Ashlynn?" Doe asked, concerned. "I mean, I know you're sarcastic but that was like, _super duper_ sarcastic." Ashlynn smiled weakly, and exhale noisily.

"I know he hasn't been gone that long, but I'm still missing Raphael. He was fun, y'know?"

"Yeah," Doe nodded. "But competition's competition, right? You'll see him again at the finale."

"Or, more likely at the Playa de Losers," Laura snorted. "Sorry honey, but I don't think you'll be lasting much longer."

Doe whapped the queen bee with her pillow.

"Ashlynn was right," Doe sniffled. "You complain too much…you…karaoke machine stealing…meanie!"

"Meanie?" questioned Ashlynn. She chuckled. "Some of the insults I'm thinking of are a tad worse than that."

Laura said something, but it came out muffled due to her face still being smothered in Doe's pillow.

"What was that?" Doe asked. She paused, and rolled her eyes. "Never mind, scratch that. I don't really care."

-------------------------------------------------------------------------

Riley drowsily walked out of the Bass boy cabin, rubbing his eyes sorely with his wrists. Once he took the last step off the cabin onto the ground, he tripped over a thin wire. Vaguely surprised, he got up, and tripped over another one. Narrowing his gray eyes, he glanced around to see many different wires spread all across the camp, in front of the cabins.

He glanced at his now bruised ankle.

"God damn it," he muttered.

_"Dude, kids show!" _shouted Chris over the intercom.

"Gosh darn it," he corrected himself, albeit with an eye roll. "What's with the booby traps, Chris?"

_"Think of it as a preliminary to today's challenge!"_ The host replied. Riley grunted, and stood up wobbling.

"I can hardly wait," he said sarcastically. He took a few steps forward, turned around, and let out a sharp whistle. Allister quickly walked out, went down the stairs, and tripped as well.

"Ow!" Allister shouted. "What just happened?"

"It's a trap Chris set up," stated Riley. "I just fell for it five seconds ago."

"Well why didn't you tell me?!"

"I thought it would be funny," Riley explained nonchalantly. He paused, and regarded Allister with slight sarcastic surprise. "What, you didn't think it was funny?"

Growling, Allister stood up and cracked his knuckles.

"I'll take that as a no," Riley said meekly.

"This is the part where you run," Allister replied.

"Got it," Riley saluted and ran away. In the distance he tripped in a rather comical fashion, stood up, cleared his throat, and continued running.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Campers…today's challenge will not only testing your stamina…" Chris announced as he strolled in the mess hall. "It's also testing a much needed virtue, patience!"

"Something that very little of us seem to have!" remarked Kenny.

"At least on this show," added Doe.

"This show _does_ seem to bring out the worst in people…" Allister agreed. Next to him, Ashlynn stabbed her fork in the table.

"Man this show bites," she grumbled.

"Sucks," Riley agreed.

"The worst!" Satine cried.

"If we're done insulting my show," Chris grumbled. "Pay attention people!"

"Man, who wrote this show?" Doe continued to wonder. "Is everyone in charge of this show just as sadistic as Chris?"

"Probably more so," chirped Satine.

"Dudes, seriously--" Chris tried to start again, but was interrupted…again.

"What kind of world is it where people get money for being evil?" Allister sighed.

"A reasonable one," Laura sneered. "You know what they say—nice guys finish last."

"Isn't that a song?" Kenny mused.

"Okay, seriously campers this is getting annoyi--" Chris struggled to keep the attention of the campers, and failed.

"Who cares if it's a song?" Laura retaliated, her arms held up in the air. "It's practically a way of life."

"For queen bees like you," Ashlynn growled.

"Enough with the queen bee insults! That is SO old!"

"Do you _understand_ the words that are coming _out of my mouth?!_" shouted Chris with a frantic wave of his arms. That shut the campers up. Well, mostly anyway. It's hard to shut Riley up.

"All 'Rush Hour' references aside…" Riley said plainly. "I _guess_ you can go ahead and tell us about the challenge today."

"Gee, thanks!" Chris exclaimed sarcastically. "Follow me outside, campers, and I'll explain everything!"

"Hey, wait a second!" Doe said suddenly. "Where's Effie?"

The other campers glanced around, curious. There was no sign of the certifiably insane redhead.

"Okay, whoops, I'm here!" Effie shouted suddenly as she burst through the doors. "Heh…hey guys! Sorry I'm late! You see, I woke up in the middle of the night because I heard this weird beeping noise so I went outside and there was like, a UFO! So, I'll all like 'TAKE ME TO YOUR LEADER!' but the aliens were all 'Hey, you stole our line! Rawr!' and then I like got all Chuck Norris on 'em!"

Everyone thought that the crazy one had finished her story, but unfortunately, they were wrong.

"So, but then I realized that there were fifty of them in there! So, I 'm in the fight of my life, and it's down to me…and they're leader! And he was all 'GET IN MAH BELLAH!' and I'm like 'no way!' so were staring each other down and…my leg was itching so I…"

"Is there a point to this story?" Ashlynn groaned.

"Yes!" proclaimed Effie. "Point is, the fight lasted like seven hours so that's why I'm late…heh…"

"Effie?" the host sighed, slapping his forehead.

"Yeah, Chris?" the crazy one replied cheerfully.

"Why did you bring you're wooly beaver in here?!" Chris shouted.

**Confession Cam: What? We're in a rut.**

"You'd think he'd be used to stuff like that," remarked Allister.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------

"His _name_ is _Trogdor_, thank you very much!" Effie growled indignantly. Chris narrowed his eyes.

"Fine…can you bring 'Trogdor' outside at least?"

"Alright, alright," Effie sighed reluctantly as she started trying to lead 'Trogdor' outside, who whimpered and decided to charge straight through the wall instead.

"Drafty," commented Satine as she buttoned up her sweater.

"Uh…Chef?" Chris sighed.

"IF YOU THINK I'M FIXING THAT, YOU GOTTA ANOTHER THING COMING!" Chef shouted from inside the kitchen. Chris shrunk back, and Riley clasped his hands together glancing up to the sky and mouthing a 'Save me God'.

"Can we go now?" the same redhead asked.

"Yes, yes we can," Chris assured him. "But a quick warning to you all…I hope you're not too cranky today. This challenge might just bug you a tad."

Laura eyed Ashlynn and smirked. Ashlynn glared back at her.

"Oh, and don't be surprised if you start to hear voices…" Chris said mysteriously as he casually walked outside the door.

"So that's what he meant by the sane going insane…" Doe mused. She blinked slowly. "Yikes. How bad is this challenge, anyways?"

"Let's just say," Chef chuckled darkly as he walked past the brunette. "Once you get there…you may wish to board the Dock of Shame immediately just to spare yourself."

"Nyah," Doe grumbled as she stuck her tongue out at the big burly man. "I'm not falling for that silly stuff. It's not like I'm superstitious or something."

"Hey Doe!" Riley called out from a distance. "You're stepping on a crack!" Doe let out a scream and jumped up. She then realized that she was standing on grass since they had already traveled outside.

"Phew," she breathed. "Don't scare me like that! It's not funny!"

"I think it is…" Riley snickered.

"That reminds me…" Allister mused. He cracked his knuckles and glared at Riley, who once again yelped and started to run away. Allister started chasing him, shouting stuff like "LET ME TRIP WHY DON'T YOU?!"

"Adios, you poor, poor, idiot," chuckled Doe.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Corn. Lovely," Kenny commented, raising an eyebrow at the vast tall ears of corn in front of them.

"Farming isn't my thing," Laura told the host, backing up from the corn and wrinkling her nose. "I'd prefer not to get dirty."

"Because corn is just _so_ filthy," Ashlynn snickered. "Have you ever done an ounce of work in your life? There are so many jobs that are worse than picking corn."

"For the record, we're _not_ picking corn," Chris told the final eight campers. They all let out a collective sigh of relief. "If you'll look at this lovely TV here…" he gestured towards a TV that was behind the host for some odd reason, "You'll see Chef showing us an _aerial_ view of this supposed 'corn'."

"So it's not corn?" questioned Riley, with a raised eyebrow.

"Well…yes…it is corn," admitted the host. "But it's not _just_ corn."

"Are there other farming products involved?" Riley asked.

"No! Just watch the stupid TV already!"

"Wait…did you say aerial view?" Ashlynn asked. "I don't hear a helicopter."

"Me neither," Satine agreed, frowning.

"Did I say he was in a helicopter?" Chris asked innocently. The campers eyed each other with expressions of confusion. They then heard a large 'KABOOM' and saw the Chef flying through the air, his pants on fire, and an expression of pure terror on his face. The campers looked back to see a cannon in the distance.

"You shot him in a cannon?!" Laura screamed.

"No…" Chris replied. "He shot himself…"

"Why not just have him use the helicopter?" Kenny groaned.

"Have you seen the prices of gas these days?!" Chris retaliated. "Now watch the TV!" The campers groaned and turned towards the TV. Chef was holding a camera out to the top of the large amounts of corn, and although the campers only saw a few flashes of the top of the corn, they knew what it really was.

"A corn maze…" Doe moaned. "So many hours wasted with families in these things…"

"Oh, it's not that bad!" Effie said cheerfully. "I mean, it's so much easier when you have a flamethrower to burn the corn down."

The campers stared at her.

"Not…that I have one…" she added with a nervous laugh.

"This is the best challenge idea you could come up with?" Laura asked, changing the subject.

"It doesn't look like an ordinary cornfield," commented Riley. "I saw glimpses of speakers, more wires, and what looked like a bear."

"Right-o Riley-o!" Chris sang.

"Call me Riley-o ever again and I'll kick your ass," Riley replied. Chris seemed unfazed.

"Anyhow, this challenge is simple! Get to the other side without getting lost, or losing your mind from all the numerous traps, annoyances, and all that jazz!"

"So basically this whole challenge is a set-up for slapstick?" Kenny muttered.

"Pretty much!"

"Ugh…I made it…" Chef muttered as he stumbled towards the campers, waving a video camera in his hands.

"That's great dude," Chris responded. "But…put some pants on. Now. To protect the innocence of my eyes."

"THE FRIGGIN' FIRE BURNED THEM OFF!" Chef shouted, chucking the video camera at the host's head, who ducked away just in time. Muttering to himself, he stomped back towards the cabins.

"Aw man!" Chris groaned. "That was an expensive video camera!"

"Boo hoo," Laura grumbled. "Where do we begin?"

"Eager, eh?" questioned Chris. "Heh. That feeling won't last for long!"

"Enough with the 'mysterious' challenge hints crap!" Ashlynn shouted, slapping her forehead.

"Fine!" Chris sighed. "And obviously, you begin at the _entrance._"

"Shocker," Satine chuckled as she stepped forwards to the opening of the corn maze. "How many traps are there in here, anyways?" Chris whistled innocently.

"I think I lost count," he replied.

"Great…" Doe sighed. "So, is there a time limit and a signal to go?"

"The first four campers out get invincibility, and there's no time limit! And the signal…well…"

KABOOM. (Again.)

"HOW DID THIS EVEN HAPPEN?!" Chef wailed as he flew past the campers, having somehow been shot by the cannon once more.

**Confession Cam: Check out how much fire we're not on!**

"Kodak moment!" Doe announced, snapping an imaginary camera. "Heh…that shouldn't have been funny…but it was."

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The campers scrambled in the maze, each of the eight remaining finalists going their own way. Each of the contestants were mildly surprised, because for a while there was nothing there to irritate them besides winding turns in the maze and a heck of a lot of corn.

At one area of the maze, Satine curiously turned around yet another clear path. She frowned, and squinted, wondering what she was missing. At one point she stumbled on an innocent boulder and flailed her arms out. She ended up hitting the corn, and somehow electrocuted herself.

"OW!" She shouted, surprised and vaguely annoyed. "How the hell is the corn electrocuted? Some evil scientists working on more ways to torture us?"

**Confession Cam: It's alive! It's alive! And…yeah, that's the best connection we could think of…**

"Nah, just _one_ evil scientist," Chris mused, apparently correcting Satine. "You'd be surprised where we can find all sorts of stuff that electrocutes people!"

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"HEY GUYS!" Satine hollered. "DON'T TOUCH THE CORN!"

Effie frowned from the opposite side of the maze, having already eaten three ears of the corn.

"I don't see what the problem is…" she said, turning to Doe. Doe turned around and stifled a laugh as she saw Effie's hair sticking out like a gigantic afro thanks to the electricity.

"I think you've had enough…" said the brunette. She reached for an ear that Effie had in her hands, but Effie sniffled and drew it away, cradling it like a baby. Doe shrugged. "Suit yourself. Hey, here's a fork in the road. Which way should we go?"

"LEFT!" Effie screamed instantaneously. "Right is not might, and left…left…is…bereft?"

"Last time I checked, left was not a missing direction," Ashlynn remarked, walking up to the two.

"Ditto," sighed Doe. "I think straight is our best bet."

"Well I'm going left," Effie announced, sprinting towards the said direction. Doe and Ashlynn glanced towards each other.

"Well I'm going right…" Ashlynn said, shrugging.

"I guess we're splitting up then," Doe remarked. She smiled at Ashlynn, before jogging straight down the middle of the path.

"That was probably not a good move," Ashlynn muttered to herself before walking towards the right path. "This is the part where the horror killer always picks us off, one by one." She frowned. "Please don't tell me that's going to happen here."

**Confession Cam: (Insert random reference here.)**

"I didn't plan that," Chris mused. "But good idea for next year." He paused, and cleared his throat. "Not…that there's going to certainly be a next year." He grinned wickedly. "Or _is_ there?"

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Unfortunately, this was the part where the traps started to show.

Riley ran down one end of the maze, keeping an eye out for anything that might pop up. Unfortunately, a loud whistle distracted him and he tripped.

"Thin nearly invisible wire…" he growled, glancing down near his ankles. "My worst enemy…we meet again." This time though, when the wire snapped, a multitude of water balloons fell from a box balanced delicately on the top of the maze. The box had been held down by the same string Riley tripped on so well…put two and two together.

"Childish," commented the redhead as he still lay on the ground from his fall. "But annoyingly clever."

"Hey," Allister greeted, swinging casually around the corner to face him. He was wet as well.

"Let met guess, you just fell for that a few minutes ago?" Riley guessed.

"What, that wasn't funny?" Allister teased.

"Cute," Riley chuckled. "Now help me up, please. My ankle has been really screwy lately."

"Sure thing, man," Allister said. He walked towards Riley and offered a hand towards him.

"No tricks?" Riley asked hopefully. Allister rolled his eyes.

"No tricks. You sure know how to pick a fight."

"It's my specialty," Riley replied pleasantly. "Now, if you'll excuse me, I have a contest to win. Uh, thanks for the help I guess."

"Wait, Riley!" Allister shouted, a bit too late. Riley was about to turn his head, but slipped on a puddle of oil before he had the chance.

"You might want to go the other way…" Allister offered. Riley rolled his eyes and wrung out his soaked-with-water-and-oil sweatshirt.

"_Now_ we're even," Riley said grudgingly as he jogged down another path.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Laura stepped gingerly throughout the maze, waving a walking stick in front of here and poking the ground to make sure it didn't do anything that would mess up her chances of winning.

Soon enough she came across a pitfall blocking her path, one that had been obscured by leaves but revealed with her oh-so almighty stick.

"Nice try Chris," she spat as she jumped over the hole. "But you can _so_ see something like that coming."

As if Chris was listening, suddenly a gigantic boxing glove burst through the left side of the corn maze and hit her upside the head.

"Okay…admittedly, I did not see that coming," Laura said woozily as she started to go towards the ground. "Damn you, easily written slapstick!"

----------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Hm…" Effie mused as she jumped over a small bed of spikes sticking up from the ground. "Perhaps Doe was right. This is proving to be a most difficult path."

She abruptly turned right, and after a few moments, realized she had just gone in a complete circle.

"Grr…I don't have time for this!" She howled. "Time to call my trust sidekick…" she whipped out her kazoo, and with an evil grin, started playing an unusually high-pitched song.

"COME HITHER, TROGDOR!"

Kenny, just on the other side of the left wall of corn next to Effie, had to shudder a bit.

**Confession Cam: Has the sudden urge to play Guitar Hero.**

"That can't be good," whimpered the wallflower.

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In an unfortunate twist of events, Laura and Doe found themselves going on the same path. At least, it was pretty unfortunate for Doe due to Laura's constant complaining. Soon enough, the girls found themselves on a very odd path indeed. The path was in a bit of a trench, and both sides of the trench were protected by a small wall.

_"Congratulations!" _Chris announced via intercom. "_You girls have just made it to a specialized pathway! There's good news and bad news. The good news is that you're definitely on the right path…"_

"And the bad news?" Doe squeaked.

"The bad news? Well, look inside and see for yourself."

The two girls peered in the trench.

"Oh crap…" the campers moaned in union. Crawling all over the floor were thousands of insects.

_"Shoes off, maggots!"_ Chef barked. _"Now is not the time to chicken out!"_

_"Dude, this is MY intercom time!"_ Chris growled. "_At any rate though, he has a point. To get across, you must take your shoes off, and wade through this lovely trench of insects!"_

"Great!" Laura shrieked. "That's just _great_! Why not just ask me to waddle in _filth?!"_

"_Technically, I already am…"_ was the reply. "_Our interns basically just picked these off the ground."_

Laura and Doe exchanged glances.

"_Any time you're ready. You can risk trying to find another path to victory…or you can brave the insects!"_

"I'm going in!" Doe shouted, kicking her sandals off. She winced as she glanced at the bugs in the trench, but shook her head and jumped in. Admittedly screaming the whole way, she was still able to make it to the other side. Laura, not wanting to be outdone, made it to the other side as well eventually.

The girls had expected to find their way finally out of the maze, but still saw corn in every corner of their vision.

"I thought you said this was the path to victory!" Laura shouted.

"_I said you were closer. I didn't say you were done!"_ Chris replied. Laura hissed and stomped forwards without another way. Doe followed, but took a turn left at the first chance she got.

The brunette followed her way to the edge of a long dead end. In the distance was a speaker, probably one of the ones Riley had mentioned. Vaguely curious, Doe walked over to the speaker and tapped it.

"Hello?" she questioned. "Anybody there?"

_"Doe?" _a familiar voice asked. _"Hey Doe!"_

"Rosetta!" Doe exclaimed, grinning widely. "How's it going?"

_"Pretty good. Still failing to get the twins to shut up here, but you know. Life goes on."_

"Um…so…not that I'm not glad you're here, but why are you here?" questioned Doe.

"_I'm supposed to first of all point out the obvious—you're in a dead end_."

"Oh really?" Doe snorted.

_"Second…I'm supposed to give you a bit of a clue, per say. So here it is. Take this dead end out, take two immediate rights, and stand in the middle of that path."_

"Why?"

_"You'll see,"_ Rosetta replied. "_Oh yeah, tell Riley he looks weird in a tux."_

Doe grinned. "Will do."

_"And I saw what Laura did to you last episode. Hit her once for me, okay?"_

"That I'm even happier to do," Doe replied. "See you later, Rosetta!"

_"See you! Try not to get killed!"_

Doe had already spun around the corner, eager to find out if Rosetta's advice would actually work.

And it would. Not that Doe would see it coming, either way.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"I hate this challenge," Kenny grumbled, pointing out the obvious for him and every other contestant. He had already stepped on a rake, been electrocuted numerous times, ran into the Wawanakwa bear (who was playing Beethoven for some odd reason) and even got hit with a coconut.

"Dead ends, again? Really?" Kenny groaned. He was about to turn away, but noticed a small flash of silver. With one eyebrow raised, he walked down to the speaker and tapped it in a rather familiar scenario.

_"Kenny?" _a male voice questioned.

"AH!" Kenny shouted, jumping back a few steps. "It knows my name!"

_"Kenny, it's me,"_ the voice sighed in an exasperated tone. "_Raphael," _he elaborated.

"Oh, hey!" Kenny exclaimed. "What're you doing?"

_"Helping out with this challenge—despite my objections. Enough about me though. I'm supposed to tell you what you might've already predicted—you took a major wrong turn. I'm also supposed to laugh evilly at you, but I think I'll skip that part. Moving on, I was also supposed to give you a pre-written advice made by Chris, but I'm going to follow Rosetta's example and give you one of my own. And that would be to look out."_

"Look out?" Kenny repeated, paling. "What do you mean?"

_"I mean, get the hell out of there because you're about to be run over by 'Trogdor'."_

"Oh," said Kenny. He laughed nervously, and starting to back up, but it was too late. Trogdor burst through the corn field and Kenny found himself swept up by the large animal, holding onto its left tusk for dear life.

_"Tell Ashlynn I miss her!" _Raphael called out from the speaker, despite the fact that Kenny was a bit preoccupied at the moment.

"CRAP!" the wallflower screamed. "How do you control this thing?!"

"You can't!" Effie replied loudly, sitting comfortably on the beaver's back. "That's the beauty of it!"

"But where is it going?!"

"Straight, I think!" Doe shouted, holding onto the beaver's right tusk, yes, for dear life as well.

"Same thing happen to you?!" Kenny asked Doe, yelling over the win.

"Pretty much!" the brunette replied.

"Oh hey, there's Allister!" Effie whooped as the beaver romped past the loner. The crazy redhead seized him by the collar and thrust them on their ride as well. Allister looked around, bewildered.

"What just happened?!" He questioned.

"I don't really know!" Doe groaned. Somehow, Trogdor got the final end of the maze, and the four riding the wooly beaver were declared safe.

"Aw…I wuv you so much!" Effie cooed, hugging Trogdor tightly.

"I'll stick with being close friends," Allister sighed as he dusted off his jacket. Doe was just happy to still be standing.

"HELL YEAH!" she shouted. "Would everyone check out how dead I'm not?!" In a few moments, Chef walked out of the end of the maze as well, carrying Riley, Satine, Laura, and Ashlynn by the collar.

"There were so many nets…" Ashlynn groaned. "I was lucky to have a pocket knife with. Then, of course, I ran into more electricity issues with that stupid corn of yours."

"Can't say I didn't warn you," Satine muttered. Doe took a deep breath in, and suddenly, walked over to Laura and punched her in the face.

"Rosetta sends her love," she said coolly with a smirk.

"Nice!" Riley complemented, hopping out of Chef's choking grasp. "You talked to Rosetta on the speaker? I got stuck with what's-his-face."

**Meanwhile, at the Playa de Losers:**

"MY NAME IS JOHN, DAMMIT!" John screamed at the TV so loudly that the other ousted campers had to plug their ears.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"I sure did!" Doe said cheerfully. "She tells me to tell you that you looked weird in a tux."

Riley glanced straight at the camera and winked.

"Love you too, Kitten," he hummed.

"Oh yeah!" Kenny said suddenly with a wide smile as he turned to Ashlynn. "Raphael sends his love as well." Ashlynn blushed at this.

"Did I just hear someone punching someone else?" Chris asked hopefully as he jogged around the corner of the maze.

"Er…yeah," Doe said sheepishly as she pointed to Laura. "It was spur-of-the-moment, really."

"That…is awesome!" Chris exclaimed. "But I'm afraid I have to give Laura invincibility as well."

"What?!" The other seven campers cried in unison. "Why?!"

"Because…" Chris replied impatiently. "She's rich. And if she's just the littlest bit injured, she can sue."

Collective face-palming ensued from the campers.

"The other three of you!" Chris announced. "Meet me at the campfire!"

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"Yup!" Chris mused. "Three of you sitting here in front of me…one of you going home…it's really narrowing down. The first marshmallow goes to…Riley." Smug, Riley caught his treat and popped it in his mouth.

"Ladies, this final marshmallow goes to…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

Ashlynn." The brunette heaved a sigh of relief from being safe two nights in a row, and caught her marshmallow as well.

"Alright…" Satine sighed. "Bye again, you guys."

"Well, we still think you were cooler to have back then Joel," Ashlynn offered as a condolence.

"That's not a hard thing to accomplish," Satine chuckled. She said her goodbyes, and hopped on the Boat of Losers with a final wave.

"See you at the finale!" She shouted.

"Well that wasn't much of an exciting ceremony," Riley remarked.

"Darn intro lied again!" Effie sighed.

"Either way campers you should really go to bed now!" Chris said, speaking unusually fast. His tone started to grow more panicked, and he urged the campers to leave. "Go already, dang it!"

"What's up his butt?" Laura grumbled as she stomped up the hill leading to the Bass girl cabin.

"I gotta wonder too," Doe sighed. "I mean, either it's something scary or something he just really wants to hide from us…"

Or a combination of the both.

In fact…

"If it isn't Canada's most wanted juvenile delinquent," Chris mused, stepping out onto the Dock of Shame to greet Duncan. "You're early."

"Don't blame me," Duncan replied, smirking. "Princess wanted to make sure we had everything set up."

"Stop calling me Princess!" Courtney growled from the boat, stepping out of the shadows and waving a wrench threateningly.

"Whatever," Duncan replied. "You got the motorcycles ready…Princess?" Courtney narrowed her brown eyes at the delinquent, but pushed out two matching bright red motorcycles from the boat with some difficulty.

"More motorcycles are coming," Courtney explained to the host. She rolled her eyes. "Leave it to Duncan to have the need to make a 'dangerous' challenge…" Duncan wrapped an arm around Courtney's shoulders and grinned.

"Are you forgetting? Half of this was your idea," he retaliated. Courtney blushed.

"N…no it wasn't!" She insisted. She crossed her arms stubbornly. "Half of the reason I'm here is just to see Doe."

"And the other half is to see more of me and play with explosives," Duncan finished tauntingly.

"You are _so_ impossible," Courtney grumbled. She eyed Duncan a little and couldn't help but grin. "Okay, I may be a _little_ excited for the challenge…"

"That's the spirit!" Duncan complemented. "All we need for you is a pair of shades and you're all set to go!"

"For the last time, sunglasses do not automatically make you 'cool'!"

"Whatever you say Princess, whatever you say."

**Who voted for whom?**

Riley—Satine

Doe—Satine

Laura—Ashlynn

Ashlynn—Satine

Satine—Ashlynn

Allister—Riley

Effie—Satine

Satine: Four votes

Ashlynn: Two votes

Riley: One vote

**(A.N.) Yesh…it's done…**

**Er…nothing to say, really. The next chapter will involve tons of explosions, "technical difficulties", and…hair issues?**

**Hoped you enjoyed the slapstick. Until next time!**

**(Oh yes—apologies to Dreamer by Day for eliminating Satine once again.)**


	23. Sorry, the Princess is in Another Castle

**(A.N. Yeah, due to some…actually quite pleasant circumstances, I present to you an extremely fast update. Feh.)**

"Last time on Total Drama Island…" Ashlynn sighed, standing at the Dock of Shame yet again. "In a challenge centered around corn, and yes you heard me correctly, _corn_, we contestants started to realize these challenges have something similar with each other—an overdose of slapstick. Very few were safe from the rampaging 'Trogdor', save for Riley, Ashlynn, Satine, and Laura, who believe it or not were the ones avoiding the invincibility pass because of that."

"Cameos were made from two of this fanfi—I mean _show's_ most missed campers, and Satine was the one given the boot for the second time. It would've been Laura, but she managed to whine herself out of elimination due to an injury given to her by Doe, who in my opinion, is thoroughly awesome for doing so. Now I can't help but wonder, if I get a big enough injury, can _I_ get all the way to the finale?"

_"No, you can't,"_ Chris replied gruffly from the intercom.

"Whatever," Ashlynn rolled her eyes. "So, how much longer can the queen bee cheat her way through the competition? Will Riley and Doe's alliance keep them in longer? And who will get their 'happy ending' in this challenge?" Ashlynn rolled her eyes again. "I'm not coming up with these stupid questions, I swear. At any rate, find out all this and more and hopefully miss the plot holes on this episode of Total! Drama! _Island!"_

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"That's _E_, Ashlynn," Doe announced, spinning the ball around in her hands. "It was a good try though!"

"Effie's shot was to jump on the mess hall roof, close your eyes, turn around, do a handstand, and shoot!" Ashlynn groaned. "How was I supposed to make that?!" She paused, raising an eyebrow at Doe. "How did _you_ make that, anyways?"

"Doe is the Horse master!" Effie proclaimed, swinging from the basketball net by her feet. She narrowed her eyes at the aforementioned brunette. "Trogdor could've beaten you in this game, but _no_, you said, it'd be _dangerous."_

"He'd put holes in the ball," Doe replied, shrugging.

"Or kill us," Ashlynn added. Doe grinned.

"Hey, you didn't have to ride the damn thing for twenty minutes through fields of _corn_!"

The three girls played casually in the basketball court, awaiting the next challenge. They hadn't wanted to invite the boys, (too competitive, they said), and they didn't want to invite Laura for obvious reasons.

"Isn't it about time Laura left?" Ashlynn sighed as she received a pass from Doe and went in for a lay-up. "God forbid she gets all the way to the final three like Heather did last year."

"Maybe she'll get her head shaved too!" Effie chirped, jumping off from her perch on the net. "I still have my scissors, y'know."

"Good idea," Doe agreed. "But you know what they say…three rights make a left."

"Wasn't it two wrongs make a backwards?" Effie disagreed.

"That makes no sense…" Ashlynn said slowly. "I think you meant two wrongs don't make a right, right?"

"Right!" Doe sang. She paused. "That was one right too many."

"Confusing old sayings aside," Ashlynn remarked. "I guess you have a point with Laura. Can you blame me for wanting her kicked though? I just hate people like her!"

"Am I sensing a background story here?" Doe wondered, rebounding Ashlynn's shot.

"Just…some very snobby girls at my school," Ashlynn sighed. "They were always making fun of me and the people I hung out with. On my first day there, I actually was trying to fit in with them…but it just never worked. They're annoying, to be honest. And when I left, they wouldn't let it go."

"Did you punch them?" Effie asked hopefully. Ashlynn raised an eyebrow.

"No," she replied.

"Kick them?" Effie asked again.

"No!" Ashlynn growled, growing irritated.

"Trip them, give them wedgies, and then hang them from the top of the--"

"NO!" Ashlynn shouted.

"Aw…" Effie sighed, disappointed.

"Guys," Doe whispered suddenly. She motioned for them to be quiet. She then sniffed the air, grinned wickedly, (the sight was very odd), and narrowed her eyes.

"What is it, Doe?" questioned Effie.

"Do you smell that?" Doe asked. Ashlynn and Effie sniffed the air as well.

"Blech!" Ashlynn groaned. "I smell Chef cooking something that is _way_ past its expiration date!"

"No, it's not that," replied Doe. She grinned. "I smell…_CIT."_

She ran off, leaving the perplexed duo Ashlynn and Effie in her wake.

"What the hell just happened?" Ashlynn asked Effie.

"Duncan and Courtney must be here," Effie said mysteriously.

"That's…good, right?" Ashlynn mumbled.

"Well hun, knowing Duncan's twisted mind it just as easily couldn't be!" Effie replied. "Of course, my sister is a little crazier, but there's nothing wrong with that, now is there?"

"I suppose not…" Ashlynn mused. "Crazy people make life more exciting, after all."

"You got that right!" Effie boasted. "Now, let's go follow Doe! Last one there has to trim Trogdor's nails!"

Ashlynn paled, and immediately started running as fast as she could towards the path that Doe had taken.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Doe had sprinted all the way to a large open clearing, and continued sniffing the air like an animal.

"Should I ask?" Riley questioned, stepping towards the brunette with his trademark smirk.

"Quiet!" Doe shushed. "They're near…"

"The aliens?" Riley guessed sarcastically. Doe rolled her chocolate-brown eyes.

"Har-har. No silly, my sis and Duncan is near!" She replied.

"Duncan and Courtney?" Kenny asked, walking up to the two with Allister trailing behind him. Before Doe could answer, Ashlynn and Effie raced up to them as well, panting and gasping.

"Who got here first?!" Ashlynn choked out.

"Uh…" Allister blinked slowly. "I think it was a tie." Ashlynn let out a huge relieved sigh. She wasn't sure if Effie was kidding or not about Trogdor's nails—but knowing Effie, it wouldn't hurt to be safe.

"But yes!" Doe proclaimed, changing the subject. "Duncan and Courtney are near…and they're getting closer!"

"Whoop-de-doo," Riley said nonchalantly.

"Not a fan of that couple?" Allister questioned.

"Meh, they're…okay," Riley replied. Doe ran over to him and started shaking him by the shoulders.

"What are you talking about?!" She shouted. "They're! The! Best! Couple! _EVER!"_

"Take! A! Chill! Pill!" Riley mocked, pushing Doe's hands away. Doe, sniffling, crossed her arms with ire.

"Anyone else confused?" Kenny sighed. Ashlynn, Effie, and Allister raised their hands. "Good. I'm not the only one."

"Confused about what?" Riley asked the wallflower.

"Well, it's odd considering you're basically the next Dun--"

"Gah! That's just it!" Riley groaned. "I'm NOT Duncan! Nor am I a lesser version of Duncan!"

"Well it's hard to beat Duncan…" Doe hummed. Riley quirked an eyebrow.

"Oh really?" He responded. "I bet I could outsmart him in something, anything, before he leaves today."

"Wait a second we haven't even seen him yet!" Allister reminded them. "How do we know Doe really knows what she's talking about?" Doe eyed the loner evilly.

"The nose never lies," she growled, one hundred percent serious, much to the confusion of the other campers. She turned to Riley and grinned. "And you know what? You're on!"

"Fine!" Riley retaliated. "Winner gets twenty bucks from the loser!"

"Fine!" Doe shouted.

"Fine!" Riley smirked, not wanting to let Doe have the last word.

"FINE!" Doe was just as stubborn.

"_FINE!"_

_**"FINE!"**_

__"Will you stop saying 'fine'?!" Allister groaned, covering his ears. "I'm still not _that_ used to shouting matches."

"Fi—I mean, okay," Doe corrected herself. She smirked at Riley and stuck her tongue out childishly. "You are so gonna have to pay up!"

"On a completely random note," Kenny said suddenly. "Where's Laura?"

"Do we really care?" Ashlynn sighed.

"Oh, hey!" Effie chirped. "Listen!" A thrum of a motor caught their attention, and the campers turned their heads. They barely noticed their evil host sneak up behind them. As the motor sound got closer, they could see a few green spikes sticking up from a helmet-less head. The no-longer-quite-so-mysterious fellow road his motorcycle closer to the campers, and skidded to a screeching halt in front of six of the seven remaining contestants.

As Duncan (yes, of course it's Duncan) hopped off his seat, Chris walked over to him.

"Best entrance yet!" Chris complemented as he bumped fists with the criminal. "But where's Courtney?" A short pause. "And what's with the crazy evil grin?"

"Are you missing a blonde Heather clone?" questioned the delinquent.

"Um…yes," Kenny spoke up.

"Well, I ran into her on the way here…she took one look at my motorcycle and threatened to sue you guys if you made her get on one. Which we were planning to do in the first place. Apparently she doesn't have a license."

The campers rolled their eyes.

"The _good_ news…" Duncan continued. "Is that she'll be out of commission for this challenge, so you guys don't have to deal with her crap."

Ashlynn and Doe high-fived each other, catching Duncan's attention, who grinned.

"Hey Doe," he greeted. Doe turned around and her grin broadened ten fold.

"DUNCAN!" She shouted, running forward and tackling him to the ground. "Gah, where's Courtney, dang it?!"

"That's part of the challenge," he replied. "Get off of me."

"No!" Doe growled. "Where…is…my…sister?!"

"It's not like I kidnapped her," Duncan laughed as he stood up. Doe stuck her tongue out but smiled impishly.

"So what is the challenge?" Allister asked.

"Well…" Duncan replied. "Follow me to the Arts and Crafts center and you'll find out."

On the way there, Kenny mouthed 'Arts and Crafts?' to Allister, who just shrugged in response. 'Who knows?' he mouthed back.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Seven motorcycles lay in front of the campers, each a shiny different color and looking actually nice for something that was in Camp Wawanakwa.

"Can we blow Laura's motorcycle up?" Effie asked.

"No!" Chris shouted at the same time that Duncan said "Knock yourself out, crazy girl."

Duncan leered at the host and smirked. He whipped out his contract.

"The guest-host gets to make the calls in his or her episode…" the delinquent read straight from the parchment. He smirked again. "And I say crazy girl can blow up whatever she wants to." The host narrowed his eyes.

"My own fine print defeats me…" he grumbled. Effie, grinning, took the seventh motorcycle destined for Laura and took it off-screen. There was a resounding 'BOOM', a shriek of a cat, and one of the wheels rolled past the on-screen campers.

"That was fun!" Effie giggled, twirling her hair and running back on-screen.

"Asking _again_," Allister said impatiently. "What's the challenge?"

"The more you ask, the longer I'll take," Duncan taunted.

"Duncan…" Doe growled.

"All right, all right," Duncan sighed. "You'll notice Princess isn't here. This challenge, ladies and gentlemen, involve rescuing her. Or, if you'd like to call it, 'Rescue the Princess'. I however, will be back here directing explosions to stop you."

"You had to add explosions in there?!" Kenny shouted.

"Easy there, tiger. There aren't that many. I won't be going after you like crazy, in fact, it's just the closer you get—the more explosions there will be."

"Big explosions?" Ashlynn whimpered. Duncan sighed.

"Unfortunately… no. Princess wanted to make sure no one got too hurt."

Doe looked straight at the camera.

"Thank you, sis," she said sincerely with a sigh of relief. "That's the last thing I need."

"Explosions are fun!" Effie exclaimed. "BOOM! BOOM! BOOM!" With every extremely loud 'boom' Effie shouted, the campers jumped slightly.

"What do your parents feed you guys?" Duncan asked Effie, an eyebrow raised. Effie giggled.

"Oh, it's not what our parents feed us!" She said, nodding rapidly. "It runs in our blood! Like our crazy uncle, Mr. Garglefritzengoogenheimer who…" She started off on an extremely long story, to which the campers weren't paying much attention to.

"Nice going," Riley told Duncan with a roll of his eyes. "Now there will be no way to shut her up."

"I think not!" Doe objected. She reached into her pocket, and pulled out an extremely large cookie. "Hey Effie! See the big cookie?"

Effie immediately stopped her story and her eyes went to the size of saucers. Doe grinned, and threw the cookie into the distance, where Effie grabbed it and started to munch on it contentedly. Doe shot a triumphant look at Riley.

"I--" she started.

"Don't. Say. A word," Riley growled, even though he was grinning.

"And with _that_…" Duncan remarked. "Get on your bikes!" The campers did as they were told. "And walk 'em to the pathway!" They followed his instructions. "And…hope the explosions don't malfunction!"

The campers glared at him.

"It was a _joke,"_ Duncan told them, rolling his eyes.

"Must not share the same sense of humor," Kenny grumbled, climbing aboard his motorcycle.

"Whatever you say short stuff," Duncan chuckled. "Three…two…one…GO!"

The campers revved their engines and zoomed off, some of them calling out the CIT's name.

"Let's go back to the camera room to watch them," Chris advised.

"We shouldn't keep Princess waiting," Duncan agreed, grinning. "Think they'll be mad we're leading them on a wild goose chase for the most part?"

"Oh they'll survive," Chris said dismissively. And that was that.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Doe, Effie, and Ashlynn were all going on the path on the outskirts of the forest. Ashlynn wasn't sure why she was following the two crazy girls—they looked like they would go off of a ramp if they could find one.

"Hey Doe!" Ashlynn shouted, suddenly remembering the reason. "What is your nose telling you right now?"

"Want aboard the easy way to win?" Doe grinned. "All righty…hm…" she frowned and sniffed. "Funny, I can't smell her right now."

"That sounds really weird when you say that," Effie spoke up. "Like you're a vampire! Okay never mind, that's totally awesome! Are you a vampire?!"

"I vant to suck your bloooood," Doe said in a phony accent, trying it out apparently. She shook her head. "Nah, it's not doing it for me."

"Well, you tried!" Effie said cheerfully. "I guess we'll have to rely on my ninja skills!"

"Rock on!" roared Doe.

Behind them, Ashlynn slapped her forehead.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Riley kept on the path alongside the beach, looking for any possible sign of Courtney. Because of the numerous hiding spots she could be in, he ended going so slow a Wawanakwa turtle could've passed him.

"Crap…" he muttered, after seeing he went in a circle. "Maybe I should--" he was cut off when a loud explosion went off behind him, sending him sprawling off of his motorcycle. He yelped, and landed on the ground.

He groaned, and wobbling, tried to stand up. Seeing the camera was still on him, he narrowed his eyes.

"What, waiting for a sarcastic remark?" He guessed. "I don't have any, so go away."

"Losing your edge, eh?" The cameraman chuckled mockingly, which was probably the stupidest thing he could've said just then.

"What did you just say?!" Riley shouted threateningly. The cameraman yelped, and dropped the camera on the ground. Two pairs of footsteps were heard in the background, along with Riley yelling—

"C'MERE YOU IDIOT!"

"GAH!" The cameraman screamed.

The camera switched to static for a moment, and then went to a picture of a gigantic cockroach eating an electrical cord. Above the cockroach were the words "Technical Difficulties".

**----------------------------------------------------------------------------**

"Kenny, what are you doing?" Allister asked, skidding to a stop by Kenny who was parked facing the Playa de Losers.

"I really miss her, Allister…" Kenny whispered. "I don't feel quite as brave without her…"

"Kenny," Allister sighed, stepping closer to the wallflower. "Look what you've done even without her. You nearly won a laser tag game; you survived a gigantic path of flames, not to mention you rode a friggin' wooly beaver all the way to victory."

"All of that was luck," Kenny insisted.

"That's what you think," Allister retaliated. "I say that it was your own skill."

Kenny smiled.

"Thanks…" he mumbled. He then regarded Allister with the slightest curiosity.

"Yeah?" Allister asked, an eyebrow raised.

"You're kind of giving everyone advice lately…" Kenny replied. "Like the next Oprah or something."

"Aw man dude," Allister groaned. "That is going to put _such_ a weird visual into my head."

"Sorry," Kenny apologized with a weak grin. He hopped onto his motorcycle. "Good luck, dude."

"Back at you," Allister smiled.

The drove off, only to be thrown off their motorcycles by two more explosions. They both let out a string of curses in unison.

"You just had to ruin that, didn't you?!" Kenny shouted, glaring at the camera.

Back at the camera room, Duncan couldn't hold in his laughter.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Duncan," Courtney growled. "Your stupid Mohawk is getting in the way of me seeing my sister."

"It's a faux hawk," Duncan corrected. "And adding onto that, _make me._"

The CIT tried to budge Duncan out of his spot, but to no avail.

"Move, you ogre! She's my sister!" Courtney exclaimed, still trying to push Duncan out of the way of the obscured camera screen in Chris's evil lair.

"You could always earn it with a kiss…" Duncan suggested, quirking an eyebrow and grinning mischievously.

"No!" Courtney said stubbornly. Duncan shrugged, and it was quiet for a few seconds.

"Well, how about I strike a deal?" Duncan offered. "I'll get rid of the faux hawk…and you get rid of that annoying bang that's always in the middle of your face." Courtney gasped, taking aback by that. She fingered her bang gingerly.

"What?" she scoffed. "The people _love_ the bang!"

"Right," Duncan smirked. "Because having hair in the middle of your face is just _so_ sexy to everyone."

**Confession Cam: Not very fashionable.**

"Okay, it is to _me_," Duncan admitted. "But I wasn't about to tell her that."

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"You are so impossible!" Courtney accused.

"I try!" Duncan retaliated. There were a few more silent moments, until Courtney sighed, smiled slyly, and kissed Duncan feverishly.

"That's more like it," Duncan mused, as he edged out of the way so Courtney could see what was going on with Doe.

"Well that's not too terribly exciting," Courtney sighed. "Doe's just pretending to be a vampire."

"Really?" Duncan questioned, with a raised eyebrow. "I turned the sound off since we're talking. How can you tell?"

"She's taking out a plastic vampire fang thing," Courtney told him, rolling her eyes.

"Ah," said Duncan.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Darn!" Doe sighed as she spat out the vampire fangs Effie had given her. "That didn't work either. I still have no clue where Courtney is hiding."

"So much for enhanced vampire senses…" Effie said glumly.

"Why were you carrying plastic vampire fangs?" Ashlynn asked Effie.

**Confession Cam: Or entertaining.**

"Okay, on second thought, why should I be asking her?" Ashlynn wondered.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------

As Effie launched into another story of the wonders of plastic vampire fangs, and Doe waved out another gigantic cookie, Ashlynn edged forward her motorcycle from where the girls were parked.

"It's been nearly forty-five minutes…" she mumbled to herself. "And I doubt Courtney would hide in the forest…I bet something's going on."

As if someone was listening to her, (which technically there was) an explosion came up from the ground in the middle of the three girls.

"Gah!" Doe exclaimed. "Ashlynn, what'd you say that pissed off the explosives?"

**Confession Cam: Or logical.**

"Duncan doesn't really like to be faced with common sense…" Courtney explained.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Looks like they're starting to get suspicious," commented the criminal. "You better head, Princess."

"Fine," Courtney sighed, reaching for her helmet.

"You're wearing a helmet?" Duncan scoffed.

"Yes, because I really do enjoy being alive," Courtney teased. She strapped the helmet on. "I look geeky, don't I?"

"Nah, you look just as cute as always," Duncan told her. Courtney blushed.

**Confession Cam: Damn it, what were talking about again?**

"Okay Duncan might be a total screw-up sometimes…" Courtney giggled. "But…he can be…kind of sweet. Don't show this okay?"

The camera flickered and switched to Duncan.

"Oh I know what she said in here," Duncan chuckled. He winked at the camera. "Sorry babe—but if you're going to say your innermost thoughts, don't say them in front of a broadcasting camera. You'd think the contestants would've learned that by now."

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Courtney revved her motorcycle and zoomed off. In a matter of moments, she passed a still inching-by-slowly Riley, who dropped his jaw in surprise.

_"Courtney has a motorcycle too!" _He thought. _"Well I seem to certainly be one for pointing out the obvious."_

To the confusion of everyone who was watching, he sped off in the opposite direction. He reached Allister and Kenny in a matter of moments.

"Hey," Allister greeted. "You see Courtney yet?"

"You bet," Riley sighed. "She's got a motorcycle too!"

"What?" Kenny groaned. "Aw man, how are we going to catch her now?" Riley frowned, and then paused.

"I have an idea. We need to get the girls though."

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Why are we doing this?" Ashlynn questioned as she and the five others stashed their motorcycles in the bushes.

"I think I hear her coming," Effie agreed. "Shouldn't we keep our motorcycles if we're going to catch her?"

"Trust me, okay?" Riley muttered. "Now, you three girls get on this left side of the road…" The girls did as they were told. "Allister, Kenny, get over with me on the right." The boys followed the instructions. "Now…pull back as if you're pulling a rope in Tug-o'-War or something."

Mildly confused, the other five mimicked the action Riley told them.

"Now, is she coming?" Riley asked. Nods came from the others. "Good," Riley said. "Pretend to pull even harder." Courtney sped down the road towards the others, and the campers kept mimicking the action of pulling rope. A few inches away, Courtney immediately skidded to a stop.

"Oh I get it…" Doe giggled. "She thought she'd crash if she ran into rope!"

"Wait a second," Courtney said rapidly as she hopped out of her motorcycle and walked to where the imaginary rope was. "You mean there _wasn't_ a rope?!" Doe walked over and hit her sister playfully on the shoulder.

"Got you, sis," Doe teased.

"ARGH!" Courtney shouted. Her expression softened, and she hugged Doe. "It's so good to see you! But you tricked me! So it's kind of half-and-half right now!"

"I can live with that!" laughed Doe, who hugged her sister tighter.

"How cute!" Chris remarked, walking up to the sisters with Duncan trailing behind him. "But…I must ruin this moment."

"As you always do," Duncan cut in sourly.

"Wait…what's going on?" Kenny asked.

"Since Laura was unable to partake in the challenge for a legitimate reason, and oddly enough, all six of you technically got invincibility…someone needs to give their invincibility up to go home on the Dock of Shame."

"How come you can't just give us all a freebie?!" Allister complained. Chris grinned.

"We have a packed schedule here! Now, who's it going to be?"

The campers paled and glanced at each other.

"I'll do it…" a voice spoke up. The five other looked at who had spoken, thoroughly shocked.

It was Riley.

"But you were the one who thought of the plan!" Doe exclaimed. "Why would you want to…?"

"I've had my fair share of time on here," Riley replied. "But I've made some screw-ups and I think you guys deserve it more than I do."

"That's…so deep!" Effie cried, blowing into a convenient tissue.

"I guess we can't argue with you," Kenny said quietly. "But we're going to miss you, man." Riley narrowed his eyes.

"You better. I didn't come here just to be kicked off and forgotten."

"That's ALSO deep!" Effie cried, again.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Riley got his things and sighed as he stood at the campfire ceremony.

"Well…it was fun guys," he said with a mock salute.

"We'll miss you so much!" Doe cried, hugging Riley tightly. He also got a high-five from Effie, Kenny, and Allister. Laura hadn't bothered to show up. He got to the Dock of Shame, and then turned around, jogging towards Duncan.

"Hey," he said dryly. "Laura's up on the hill wearing a bikini."

As Duncan whipped his head around (and Courtney whapped him in the head), Riley walked past Doe and tossed something to her. Curious, Doe caught it and realized it was Duncan's wallet.

"You owe me twenty," he told her, before walking on the Dock of Shame. Doe smirked. Riley's eyes widened slightly as the Boat of Losers pulled up, with Rosetta inside.

"Hey Slick," she greeted with a wink. "I saw what you did. That was really nice."

"Don't get used to it," Riley replied, before swooping Rosetta down and kissing her.

"Must you try to kiss me dramatically every chance you get?" Rosetta chuckled as the boat pulled away.

"Hey, I haven't seen you in weeks," Riley objected.

"I didn't say I didn't enjoy it," Rosetta teased. She smiled. "I missed you, Riley."

"I missed you too, Kitten."

Rosetta narrowed her eyes and Riley shrugged.

"What? I guess I got back into the nickname thing."

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Do you have to go too?!" Doe groaned, clinging onto Courtney tightly. "This is such a sad day!"

"It won't be that long!" Courtney told her, trying to pry her sister away. "You'd better win it all, sis!"

"Rawr! Sir yes sir!" Doe replied, saluting her sister.

"So long, campers! I'd add lucky to the word 'campers' but I know how crappy this place is too!" Duncan shouted, stepping into the Boat of Losers.

"Wait!" Ashlynn said suddenly. Curious, Duncan poked his head back out. "Doe…didn't you say a couple times you wanted to arm-wrestle Duncan?"

"That's right!" Doe exclaimed. She grinned. "One quick match?" She asked Duncan.

"My money goes on Doe," Allister murmured to Kenny.

"Ditto," Kenny agreed.

Duncan and Doe glared at each other with competitive grins. They held their arms out, and placing their elbows on the edge of the Boat of Losers, started their match.

Doe won in a matter of seconds. As Duncan swore loudly and jumped back into the boat, Doe did a victory dance in front of her teammates.

"That was fun!" Doe hummed. "And bye sis!"

"Bye Doe!" Courtney replied as the boat sped away.

The campers started heading up back to their cabins, but stopped Kenny spoke up.

"Hey guys…" he said, confused. "How is it that we all knew how to drive motorcycles? I mean there were six of us and even if we have our license that still is pretty unlikely we all knew how to drive a mot--"

**(THE END.)**

**(A.N.) With apologies to anyone who happened to be fond of Riley, it's his turn to head. He has Rosetta though, so that's a condolence.**

**Bwah, yes, motorcycles. Halfway through I realized that obvious thing Kenny said at the end. But then it was just kind of an 'Oh, screw it' moment and I continued anyway. You still get a semi-funny ending.**

**…I fail, don't I?**

**Sorry if I portrayed Duncan and Courtney badly, or if it was weird that I took Laura out for a chapter, or yada, yada, yada. I'm gonna shut up now.**

**Well wait, not yet. If anyone was curious, Ashlynn and Raphael won the 'Favorite Couple' dealio. **


	24. Cat Burglars, Cat Fights, and More Puns

All six of the final remaining contestants stood at the Dock of Shame for the intro to the day's episode. Most of them were struggling to be in the center of the camera's attention.

"Hello, all viewers young, old, and possible inhuman!" Effie said excitedly, waving from the center of the screen. She was quickly pushed off-screen by Doe.

"Last time, on Total! Drama! Island!" Doe announced.

"Everyone's favorite yin-yang couple--" Kenny started.

"Duncan and my sister Courtney," Doe added quickly.

"Were here for a challenge that despite some lack of creativity, certainly brought out some surprising things about the campers," Allister drawled, slinking into the back of the screen.

"Like how Laura can avoid doing any work," Ashlynn grumbled. "Although that wasn't that much of a surprise."

"Or how Doe has the nose of a deranged hyena," Laura snickered, rolling her sky blue eyes.

"Or how Riley can actually be--" Doe started again, but was interrupted by Effie.

"Really nice!" Effie finished. "In fact, he like, sacrificed himself so none of us would have to go home! It's like King Kong sacrificing himself to save Princess Buttercup!"

"Wait…what?" Kenny questioned, raising an eyebrow.

"Anyhow," Allister continued, skipping straight to the 'mysterious' questions. "Who will be making it to the final five?"

"Will we finally stop--" Doe started, but was interrupted by Effie yet again.

"Finishing each other's sentences?" Effie howled.

"And who will _steal_ away the win?" Ashlynn questioned. She then scowled. "Why do I always get stuck with the final cheesy question?"

"For all this and more of your reality show needs…" Laura continued, ignoring the brunette behind her. "Find out tonight, on Total!"

"Drama!" Kenny piped in.

"Island!" All six contestants finished in unison. An odd silence followed, in which the camper's all just looked around each other awkwardly.

"Um…we're done right? Why are the cameras still on us?" Kenny asked.

"What, are we not allowed to do an intro with out some kind of gimmick or punch line at the e--" Allister started to ask the cameramen irritably, but was interrupted when the Dock of Shame collapsed underneath him and the others.

"You just had to ask, didn't you?" Laura growled as she floated past the loner. She glared at the cameramen, who were still shooting the video cameras. "If you don't stop filming us _right now_, I swear I will--!"

The cameramen switched to the theme song, which was probably a wise choice on the cameramen's part.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Campers…" Chris greeted, striding into the mess hall breakfast area. "Rough morning?"

"Was _that_ the only reason you wanted us all to do the intro today?" Allister asked, whapping his head as he tried to get all the water out of his ears. In the process, a fish flew out of his ears as well. It flopped around on the table for a while, and the campers stared at it, wondering how the heck that just happened.

"I take it you didn't enjoy your morning swim…" Chris chuckled.

"One more humorless reference to what just happened today and you'll be dangling upside down from the thousand foot cliff," Ashlynn threatened. Chris held his hands up defensively.

"Don't have a cow, man!"

Ashlynn hurled a fork at him.

"I'm a _girl_, you idiot!"

"It was a Simpson's reference!" Chris wailed, covering his head with his arms on the floor. "Don't you people enjoy good humor, anymore?"

"Eat my shorts," grumbled Doe. She rolled her eyes, and then grinned at the host. "How was that?"

"Wait; do you really want me to eat your shorts?" Effie asked hopefully, and raising a fork awfully close to Doe's shorts. "I heard they're high in fiber and low in calories…"

"Not to mention inedible!" Doe yelped, scooting a few seats away from her crazy friend.

"All short-eating aside, campers, you are to report back here for your challenge…tonight!"

"Tonight?" Kenny repeated. He grimaced. "I have the worst luck with challenges at night."

"You think you've had it bad?" Doe sighed. "I _blew_ _up_ Chris's beach house in that fireworks challenge!"

"Which was pretty funny," Laura remarked.

"But not particularly good for _me_," Doe reminded the queen bee. "I nearly got sent home because of that!"

"But you _weren't_!" Effie exclaimed. "That was Rosetta!"

"Funny, I'm still half-expecting to hear Riley complain about that," Ashlynn sighed. "He was kind of fun to have around, all things considered."

"Pretty much the comic relief," Allister agreed. "Sarcastic and somewhat annoying comedy but you get my point."

"I really miss all our friends here!" Effie wailed. "Rachel was cool too! She was a…Charlie's Angel!" She made her fingers into pistol-shapes and began fake-shooting everyone in the room. "I'mma firin' mah lazah! Shoop-da-whoop!" She giggled. "I sure do love sound effects!" Kenny and Allister glanced at each other.

"I can't believe we're the only boys left…" Allister sighed.

"And if one of us gets kicked tonight…" Kenny paused, uncertainly. "Well, at least if one of us gets kicked tonight we get an entire cabin to ourselves."

"It's a hard-fought victory," Allister remarked.

"Well, I know there's something you boys can look forward to!" Doe said pleasantly. "The next episode is the Playa de Losers episode! We'll get the day off!"

"But what if they vote off someone nice by accident again?" Ashlynn groaned. "I don't want to be the next LeShawna!"

"Try saying more slang!" Effie suggested.

"How's it hangin', baby?" Ashlynn giggled. She turned bright red and clamped her hand over her mouth. "I can't believe I just did that!"

"I just am wondering what Raphael is gonna think when he sees that," Doe teased.

"Maybe the ousted campers will kick of someone nobody likes this time around, like Laura," Allister remarked, changing the subject back to the Playa de Losers dilemma.

"You do know I'm standing right here, don't you?" Laura growled.

"You do know I don't care, don't you?" Allister retorted.

"Meow," Kenny chuckled. Allister rolled his eyes.

"It's only a catfight if there are _two_ girls, Kenny," Allister told him.

"Oh, so you're _not_ a girl?" Laura jeered. Effie walked over to and whapped her in the head, sending her face flying to her oatmeal. Doe gaped at the redhead.

"What?" Effie questioned. "Cheap joke, cheap shot. Makes perfect sense."

"I can't argue with that logic!" Doe snickered. She yawned, and stood up. "Well, I've forced as much 'oatmeal' down my throat that I can stomach. I think I'm gonna go for an actual swim," she glared at Chris. "If anything else I happen to be standing on breaks, you are _so_ gonna get it!"

"Amen to that!" Ashlynn agreed.

"Can I get a 'Hallelujah'?!' Effie roared, still wanting to go with the 'Church' theme apparently.

"Hallelujah…" Allister and Kenny echoed unenthusiastically.

"Can I get a 'Praise the Lord'?!' Effie cried.

"Uh…praise the Lord…" Allister and Kenny mumbled.

"Can I get an 'AMEN'?!"

"Can I get some quiet?" Allister groaned.

"Fine," Effie grumbled, sticking out her tongue. "I still have Trogdor. Do _you_ have a tame wooly beaver? I didn't think so!" And with that, she ran out.

One by one the other campers left as well, leaving only Chris, who did nothing but wink at the camera and grin evilly.

"Tonight, we're gonna have some _fun_…"

"Well _that_ wasn't creepy at all," one of the cameramen muttered sarcastically.

"Thanks a lot Zack!" Chris whined. "You ruined the mystery!"

"There never _was_ any mystery!" Zack growled.

"That's it, you're fired!" Chris announced.

"Fine! You weren't paying me anyways!"

"We're supposed to _pay_ people here?" Chris asked, surprised.

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Night fell on Wawanakwa like a brick. Soon, Chef was howling on the thousand-foot-cliff like a wolf, all sunlight disappeared, and the campers found themselves back at the mess hall.

"So, what's the challenge?" Ashlynn questioned, zipping up her jacket to stay warm. "I don't see any unusual props—like glow sticks or a hot air balloon."

"Thankfully," Kenny chimed in.

"True, we didn't need anything too terribly big for this challenge…" Chris agreed. "_Here_, that is."

"Here?" Allister repeated. "Where are we going this time? We've already been at the resort, in the air…"

"On a train that gave us a scare," Effie hummed. "Rhyming is fun!"

"Tonight campers, you're going to be…cat burglars! Despite the fact that Doe destroyed my beach house," Chris shot a glare at the sheepish brunette. "It has thankfully been rebuilt, and is even bigger than before, due to my richness!"

"Ladies and gentlemen, the epitome of modesty," Ashlynn announced sarcastically, jerking a thumb towards Chris.

"I'm flattered!" Chris grinned. "As I was saying, Chef and I will be at the beach house--"

"You guys live together?" Doe asked, her eyes widened.

"No!" Chris shouted. "It's just for the challenge!"

"Sure it is," Laura smirked.

"As I was saying! You'll be sneaking into the beach house, and trying to steal one _very_ valuable object…"

"A pearl necklace?" Ashlynn asked.

"A golden crown?" Kenny added excitedly.

"Er…no. It's just two marshmallows connected to each other by a toothpick."

"_Classy_," Allister chuckled. "But if there's two, that probably means we're in pairs, right?"

"Actually, yes!" Chris complemented. "And, because I am _so_ nice…I'm letting you pick your own partners!"

"EFFIE!" Doe squealed, glomping her crazy friend with sparkling eyes.

"DOE!" Effie gasped, with sparkling eyes as well.

"EFFIE!" Doe wailed.

"DOE!"

"EFFIE!"

"DOE!"

"Kenny…" Kenny mumbled.

"So who's your partner, Effie?" Chris questioned sarcastically.

"Doe!" Effie shouted, sticking her tongue out. "Duh!"

"Totally didn't see that one coming," Ashlynn remarked. She shifted, unsure who to pick between Kenny and Allister. Laura was a bit out of the question for her.

"Want to go with me, Allister?" Kenny suddenly asked the loner, who nodded in response. Ashlynn slapped her forehead.

"Look like we're together then," she sighed, turning to Laura.

"Now then!" Chris continued, clapping his hands together to get the campers' attention. "That's pretty much all you need to know! Chef and I will be snooping around the place, so trust me; you do_ not_ want to get caught by us! The game will go until one group has their marshmallows, and another group has been caught and set up for elimination!" He laughed evilly. "So get to the beach house anyway you can, sneak inside, and find the marshmallows before it's too late for you and your partner!"

The campers glanced towards their partners, wondering how this was going to turn out.

"I'll be going then," Chris said amiably. "In five minutes you can come, by that time we'll be ready. And…good luck. You're gonna need it!" The host jogged out the door, turning right and disappearing out of sight into the night.

Ignoring that unintentional rhyme, the campers left as well in five minute's time.

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**Confession Cam: Six little campers, going out to dine…**

"Okay," Doe sighed. "So I don't know how easy it will be avoiding _Chef_. After all, the first thing that comes to my head when I see him is to scream, hit him in the head with the nearest blunt object, and get out of there as fast as humanely possible."

Static!

"I wonder what they'll do if they catch us," Allister sighed. "This challenge sure opens up a lot of torture possibilities for Chris."

**-----------------------------------------------------------------------------**

Effie and Doe jogged to the edge of the beach; Doe stared in the distance towards the now-rebuilt beach house.

"How do you want to get there?" Doe questioned Effie.

"Same way we always do!" Effie giggled. She sprinted out of sight for a moment, and returned in a few seconds. "JET SKI!" She shouted, whipping out a Jet Ski from behind her back. Doe grinned and climbed in back with Effie. Effie tried to rev the engine, but the only thing that came from it was a small click.

"Uh…I don't think a gasless Jet Ski will get us anywhere," Doe commented. Effie growled and picked up the Jet Ski, leaving Doe to fall off it completely.

"Well, we'll just have to _make_ it go, won't we?" She shouted. She then proceeded to chuck the Jet Ski into the air, sending it hurdling towards the beach house. It crashed into the roof, and even from the Wawanakwa beach they could hear Chris shout—

"NOT COOL, DUDES!"

"Well, we got the _Jet Ski_ there," Doe laughed. "But what about us? Does your catapult still work?"

"Yeah…" Effie sighed. "But Trogdor's in it with his little Trogdor babies."

"I thought Trogdor was a boy."

"He is," Effie confirmed. As Doe contemplated how that was possible, Effie picked her up by the collar and threw her there the same way she threw the Jet Ski.

Doe screamed as she flew threw the air, waving her arms frantically and finally landing on the beach surrounding Chris's house. Effie was there in just a few seconds, somehow swimming there that fast.

"Okay…" Doe gasped, clutching her chest for breath. "Now…how should we…get inside?"

"Hm…" Effie mused, staring at the wall. She then snapped her fingers, backed up a few steps, and charged straight through the wall, leaving a convenient Effie-sized hole in her wake.

"Th…that works too…" Doe said slowly as she climbed through the hole.

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"You sure this is a good idea?" Allister sighed, climbing into a rather familiar cannon along with Kenny.

"Sure!" Kenny replied. "What's the worst that can happen?"

"Well, we could _die_…"

"Besides that!" Kenny sighed. He lowered a match to the cannon ball string, and lit it.

Three…two…one…

"GYAH!" The boys screamed in unison, flying past the broken of Dock of Shame towards Chris's beach house.

"Hey, look!" Kenny remarked. "Ashlynn and Laura are hijacking the Boat of Losers…again! Why didn't we think of that?"

"Yes, why didn't we?" Allister muttered, rolling his eyes.

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"Where are you, little marshmallow?" Laura mumbled to herself, now safely in the beach house along with Ashlynn.

"It's not like it's going to call back to you," Ashlynn reminded her.

"I know that. Shut up and look for our invincibility," Laura growled. She slunk past Chris's fireplace in the living room, nearly stumbling into a sleeping dog.

"That…would be Fido," Ashlynn breathed. "Chef's evil dog."

"As evil as me?" Laura chuckled.

"Slightly less," replied the brunette. She paused, and looked around. "Any sign of Chris or Chef?"

"None," Laura confirmed. She frowned, and cupped a hand around her ear. "Wait…what was that?" Ashlynn grimaced, hearing the sound of footsteps as well. They tiptoed to the corner of the hall, peeking around the corner.

"Got you!" Laura snarled, whipping her fist out. "Oh wait, never mind. It's just the loner and the wallflower."

"My name is…" Allister muttered, rubbing his now-bruised nose. "Ah, screw it. It's not like you'd remember."

"Why are you two in your underwear?" Ashlynn asked, quirking an eyebrow.

"Long story," Kenny said with a weak smile. "Are Effie and Doe here yet?"

"Not that I know of," Laura replied. "They're both practically insane though, so who knows where they could be?"

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"No way," Doe giggled, searching through Chris's cabinet. "I found Chef's diary!"

"Oh, stash it, stash it!" Effie whispered. Doe, in her own curiosity, flipped a page open.

"_Twenty-five of us went into the forest that night…"_ she read. _"Only five came out. _Blech! These are just lame-o war stories! Why _is_ Chef's diary here, anyways?"

Effie kicked a sleeping bag next to her.

"I guess they were having a sleepover!" she chirped. "Why didn't they invite us?"

"You'd really want to spend a night with Chef?" questioned Doe. Effie scratched the back of her head.

"Well, we could learn more about him! Like how since he's so bad at cooking, he's better at other stuff…like…knitting!"

**Confession Cam: Stifled laughter? No problemo.**

"How…how did she know?" Chef cried, holding up a doily and a pair of needles.

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_Thump…Thump…THUMP._

"Oh crap!" Doe hissed. "That's one of the adults!" She looked around frantically for some type of escape. There was nothing, not even a window to climb out of. She turned to Effie and gave a grim smile.

"Maybe if we stay hide near the door, once they open it we can just dash out!" Doe suggested. She whipped her head around. "There doesn't seem to be any marshmallows in here, anyways…"

"Got it!" Effie said firmly. She climbed on top of the door all the way near the ceiling, with her feet pressed against each wall to keep her up there. Doe ducked behind a dresser, keeping an eye on Effie. Slowly, the door opened, and Chef poked his head through, wearing a bright pink bunny bathrobe.

"OH DEAR GOD!" Doe shrieked, stumbling out of her hiding spot. She landed on her feet, and proceeded to crouch on the floor, wailing—"MY EYES! MY EYES!"

Chef stomped over to Doe, and grabbed her by the collar.

"You're coming with me, solider. Not only did you wake me up from my _nap_, but it looks like your _partner _is still missing!"

"So…what do I have to do?" Doe whimpered. Chef grinned.

"_You'll see_…"

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"Wait a minute," Allister said suddenly, interrupted the four campers' conversation. "I just heard Doe…and Chef. Which means Chris is coming after us. Chris, the most sadistic person in the universe," he deducted. The four groups paled and looked everywhere, searching for wherever the host may have been.

"Hello, campers!" Chris grinned, standing at the top of the stairs and holding what looked like a gun that shot nets.

"I recommend that we…run!" Laura shrieked, dragging Ashlynn by the collar and running away. The two of them stumbled all the way to the kitchen, where they squeezed in the cupboards and closed the door. Then, they proceeded to stash some actually edible food, grinning at the assortment of edible things. When they heard Allister and Kenny pass, and then Chris in a matter of seconds, they stumbled out.

"Well we lost him for now," Ashlynn whispered. "We still haven't found any marshmallows though!"

The two girls prowled through the majority of the house, ducking in any possible place to avoid capture.

"Hey…" Laura grunted, elbowing Ashlynn. "I see something. Over there. On the balcony."

Ashlynn peered outside a screen door, and saw what Laura was talking about.

"Who puts valuables on a precarious balcony?" Ashlynn groaned, walking over. The two girls glanced behind them, and opened the screen door to run out and grab their victory. Ashlynn swiped it up.

"Yes!" She laughed. "It's not a fake, either!"

"_Congratulations to whoever got it!"_ Chris announced on what appeared to be a pre-recorded message. A tiny tape recorder lay underneath the marshmallows the girls had grabbed. "_Now…all you need to do is get back to camp!"_

"Piece of cake!" Ashlynn scoffed. Laura nodded in agreement. The two girls walked down the stairs, and turned around to appraise the beach house. Seeing nothing that might prevent them from leaving, they began walking back to their boat.

And…that's when they heard it.

"Oh no…" Laura moaned. A gigantic boulder unlatched from the top of the ceiling, heading towards the two girls. As it got closer and the girls stood at it with wide mouths, they realized the boulder was in the shape of Chris's head.

"You've got to be kidding me!" They shouted in unison. Scrambling, they ran for their lives back to their boat, Chris's gigantic-head-likeness rolling after them all the while.

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Doe opened her eyes slowly as Chef's blindfold was loosened from her eyes and fell around her neck. She was tied to a chair, with a bright light shining on her face. The rest of the room was dark and reminded her too much of a jail cell.

"Alright, solider, listen up!" Chef barked. "You are going to tell me where your friend is hiding, so I won't have to put the hurt on you!"

"You wouldn't hurt a girl," Doe said innocently.

"Well…we have _other_ ways!" Chef growled.

"Like…?" Doe pressed.

"LIKE, TELL ME NOW OR YOU WILL NOT EAT DINNER FOR ANOTHER WEEK!" Chef shouted.

"NEVER!" Doe shouted, struggling against the rope. She twisted frantically, and ended up tipping over the chair she was tied to sideways.

"Er…a little help, please?" She asked hopefully.

"I'll help you up…if you tell me where she's hiding!" If Doe could've slapped her forehead, she would've.

"_Noooooooo!" _Kenny's voice wailed from up the stairs.

"Looks like another one was caught as well…" Chef said mysteriously. "If he tells us first, _he_ and his friend might be granted invincibility…instead of you."

"I don't believe you!" Doe accused.

"Well you should!" Chef shouted, crossing his arms.

"Well…you smell like wet sheep!" Doe insulted, still lying sideways on the floor.

"What did you just say, maggot?!"

"You heard me! And…and…your mother was a hamster, and your father smelt of elderberries!"

It went on like that for a while.

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"**Where is he?!"** Chris asked Kenny in an unusually guttural voice.

"Come again?" questioned the wallflower, not bothering to struggle against his rope.

"**Don't play games with me, tell me where he is!"**

"Depending on the time, he could be in one place or several different places," Kenny remarked, playing along. He rolled his eyes. "Any particular reason we're quoting The Dark Knight?"

"Eh, just finished seeing it," Chris explained, thankfully talking in a normal voice again. "Good movie."

"Damn straight," grunted Kenny. "Uh…what were we talking about, again?" Chris clasped his hands together and stared at Kenny threateningly.

"If you don't tell us where Allister is hiding, you might just be the one sent home…no questions asked. You might even have to face some tanks," Chris warned. Kenny scoffed.

"That's right!" Chris continued. "A full sudden-death challenge, complete with tanks! This day just keeps getting better and better, doesn't it?"

"First off," Kenny interrupted. "It's a pair challenge, so there couldn't be a sudden-death thing. And second, there are NO tanks. You did not get tanks, because there's no way the military would've supplied you with weapons." Chris narrowed his eyes.

"Seriously dude, where's Allister hiding? I went into the room you guys dashed in, and you were there…but Allister wasn't. I know you know and you know that I know that you know…"

"Get on with the point!" Kenny groaned impatiently.

"Point is—dude, where is Allister? We need _both _of you to be caught in order for you to lose," Chris stated, crossing his arms.

"You can't make me tell you!" Kenny said stubbornly. Chris grinned.

"I was worried you might say that," he hummed. "Which was why I brought company…"

Confused, Kenny raised an eyebrow as he heard footsteps going down the stairs. When the mysterious figure completely came into the room, Kenny buried his head in his hands and groaned.

"Did you _have_ to get her dragged into this, too?"

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"Why does Chris even _own _jail cells?" Doe wondered, staring at the ceiling.

"I'm the one asking questions here!" Chef barked at her.

"That wasn't a question," Doe pointed out.

"I did not allow you to speak!"

"You allowed me to speak before…" Doe mused.

"Stop doing that, and tell me where crazy girl's hiding!"

"I'll tell you if you put my chair right side up."

"I'll let you up if you tell me!" Chef retorted. Doe scrunched her face up. How long would this go on?

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Effie skipped from room to room, having noticed it being awfully quiet for the past twenty minutes.

"Hello?" she asked, peeking her head around. "Anyone?"

"Effie?" A familiar voice asked her from the room in front of her. Effie swung the door open to see Allister, who was dangling from a chandelier and struggling to stay on.

"Hey Allister…" Effie greeted, stifling giggles.

"Effie, don't say it…" Allister warned.

"How's it hanging?!" Effie finished, going into hysterical laughter. Allister groaned.

"Can you help me down, please?" Allister sighed.

"Sure, sure…" Effie giggled. She kicked off her shoe, and chucked it at the chandelier Allister was hanging onto. The shoe somehow broke the chandelier completely and Allister fell to the ground in a rather painful matter.

"Thanks…" he said sarcastically.

"Any time!" Effie chirped.

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"Kenny, tell them where Allister's hiding_…" _Leti purred, leaning in front of Kenny with a wicked grin. She was wearing a rather dangerous looking outfit—a black miniskirt and a long-sleeved red shirt.

"No!" Kenny wailed. "You can't make me!"

"Oh, I have my ways…" Leti whispered, closing Kenny's open mouth with her pointer finger.

"Why have you gone to the dark side, Leti?" Kenny groaned.

"They're paying me twenty bucks," Leti explained. Kenny fiddled in his chair.

"Oh. That makes more sense, then."

Leti leaned so close to Kenny their lips were almost touching.

"Tell them Kenny…" she said softly. "It'd mean _so much_ to me…"

"He's in the room with the big chandelier!" Kenny blurted out. He quickly put a hand over his mouth. "Meep!"

"Too late!" Chris exclaimed, running up the stairs. Kenny groaned, and slumped in his chair.

"Sorry Kenny…" Leti giggled, fingering a twenty. "It's just business."

"S'okay," Kenny sniffled.

"Aw, cheer up!" Leti laughed, putting away the 'dangerous' charade that didn't seem to fit her so well. "You were so brave! I mean, you even shot yourself out of a _cannon!_" She giggled, and wrapped her arms around the wallflower. "You did _so_ well!"

"You just made me give away my biggest secret!" Kenny groaned.

"And for that, I am very sorry…" Leti said sympathetically. Just as she finished speaking, Chris came down the stairs, dragging Allister and Effie in a net.

"Was the net really necessary?!" Allister growled.

"No. But it was fun," Chris replied. He pulled back a curtain to reveal the second interrogation scene going on.

"Hey Chef! How'd Doe hold up?" questioned the host.

"The soldier has kept her secrets well!" Chef replied. Chris grinned, and wheeled on Kenny and Allister.

"So, it looks like one of the two remaining boys will be going home? Who will it be? Meet me at the campfire, boys!"

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"I have one marshmallow on my plate," Chris told the two boys, saying the obvious for the umpteenth time. "One of you will be going home. The other will be staying here for another round of TDI…who will it be? Campers, the final and only marshmallow goes to…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

Kenny." Kenny let out a sigh of relief, and Leti let out a cheer. Allister stood up, and sighed.

"Sorry dude," Kenny apologized, shaking hands with his friend. "I hope I'll see you soon."

"Me too!" Effie agreed.

"Me three!" Doe laughed.

"Me…four?" Ashlynn mumbled.

"Not me," Laura said sourly.

"No one cares what you think," replied Ashlynn. Allister smiled at them.

"Thanks guys," he said. "I'll make sure not to vote any of _you_," he pointed towards Effie, Doe, Ashlynn, and Kenny. "Off."

"Whatever!" Laura growled, sticking her nose up in the air. "I'm sure they'll just screw up like they did, last year!"

Allister shrugged, and walked on the Dock of Shame. By now, he wasn't that surprised to see Charity there as well.

"Hey…" he said softly, a smile coming to him.

"Hey yourself," she replied, smiling back. "Well, it took you long enough. I really was missing you. You'd better have missed me too," she teased.

"You have no idea," replied Allister, and gave Charity one big kiss. The boat sped off, leaving Leti and Chris standing with the others.

"Aw man! I have to leave too," Leti sighed, gesturing to the boat which was already making a round trip. She grinned at Kenny, and rustled his hair with her hand. "Sorry about that interrogation scene. You gotta do what you gotta do, right?"

"Right," Kenny agreed. He looked down for a moment, blushed, and kissed Leti quickly as well. The other campers (Laura excluded) grinned at the happy couple.

In a few minutes, Leti was on the Dock of Shame as well, waving sheepishly towards the others.

"Good luck Kenny! You're the last boy on an island with four crazy girls!" She laughed as the boat sped off.

"Oh yeah," Kenny realized, looking at the four girls standing nearby. "Wow, this is weird."

"You got that right, short stuff," Laura muttered. "And it's unfair. I have to share a bed with these three, and you get a room all to yourself."

"It's karma," Doe announced.

"Well that settles that," Ashlynn chuckled. She reached into her pocket, pulling out some of the food that she and Laura had stolen. "Who wants a pop-tart?"

**Who voted for whom?**

Allister—Kenny

Kenny—Allister

Effie—Kenny

Doe—Allister

Laura—Allister

Ashlynn—Allister

Kenny: Two votes

Allister: Four votes

**(A.N.) Despite the fact that I was going to take a vacation…er…I dunno. I have an empty house, a good start to the day (we won twice in one basketball game. I don't mean twice as 'once technically and once spiritually', so don't ask unless you want a long basketball story.) and I figured I might as well since I pretty much knew what I was doing.**

**Er…weird challenge I know. Apologies to The Grim Sleeper for kicking off Allister.**

**So, the next episode/chapter is the Playa de Losers one. Will the campers knock off an innocent camper or finally prevail against Laura? Find out next time on Total Drama Island, blah, blah, blah. **

**I need to space out my updates more…**


	25. These Guys Look Awfully Familiar

It was quiet on the (once again repaired) Dock of Shame. None of the final five were shown doing the intro, and the only sound hearable was the slight hum of a Jet Ski motor.

"Greetings viewers!" Chris exclaimed, driving his Jet Ski into the view of the camera. "I suppose you remember what today is, right? For those of you who haven't seen last year's season—your loss, I might add—then I'll fill you in. Instead of a challenge today, the final five campers staying here get the day off!"

He gestured behind him onto Camp Wawanakwa where Doe and Effie were prowling around in ninja suits, Laura was filing her nails on the Bass cabin stairs, Ashlynn was behind Laura holding a carton of eggs dangerously close to her head, and Kenny was sitting on a stump in the middle of it all, wondering how he got stuck on an island with four crazy girls.

"So, since it'd be really, really, _really_ boring to watch these final five _not_ get tortured, I bet you're wondering—where are we going? Well…it's that time again, where we visit the losers, the failures, the ones who just didn't make it…at the Playa de Losers! As you probably know, it's the awesome resort where the ousted campers come to face the fact that they lost the chance of winning a whole lot of big ones! So, to see all the campers who got voted off due to conspiracies, alliances, or just plain suckiness…find out how they're doing at the _most_ dramatic elimination yet, on Total! Drama! _Island_!"

With that big announcement aside, Chris sped out of view.

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Chris hopped off of his Jet Ski onto the pristine white beaches of the Playa de Losers. As he walked up the stairs towards the resort, he turned to the camera.

"Just like last year—we'll be interviewing all of the losers here to see what they thought of their stay at Wawanakwa, who they want to win, and what they think of all the contestants. At the end? Well, we'll be having yet another elimination ready where they chose who gets the boot…and personally, I'm hoping they screw it up…_again,"_ he laughed evilly, and hopped up the final stairs.

"Now, let's get started shall we?"

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Sitting at the pool bar this year was not Noah, Katie, Trent, and Sadie obviously…but rather, the two twins (Joel and Leo), Alice, and Kevin.

"What did _we_ think of our stay at Wawanakwa?" Joel asked, raising an eyebrow towards the screen. He and Leo exchanged glances.

"It sucked," the two twins said in unison.

"Well, you two might've had a better time if you didn't screw things up for yourselves with that conspiracy…" Kevin said amiably, sipping on a Pina Colada.

"I agree!" Alice chirped, startling the three boys as the Australian redhead poked out from inside the bar. "I mean it was all smart and stuff…but _seriously_, that was un-cool!"

"It was brilliant!" Joel growled, crossing his arms. "And we would've had gotten away with it if it wasn't for--"

"You meddling kids?" Kevin interrupted, stifling a laugh.

"What?" Leo laughed. "No! He meant Ashlynn."

"Ashlynn was just trying to save Raphael," Alice reminded the two boys, whapping their heads in the process. "Especially since you two were such jerks to him!"

"He deserved it!" Joel snapped.

"Oh really?" questioned Kevin, raising an eyebrow. "What did he ever to do you?"

"He…he…" Leo started, not sure what to say. Joel was not having any luck as well. Kevin looked directly at the camera and rolled his eyes.

"Hang on folks," he said. "This might take a while." Kevin cleared his throat and continued. "As for me…well, my stay wasn't half-bad. Sure I got shocked…painfully…numerous times…but I also met Doe, who is the most amazing girl," he sighed dreamily as he began to space off. "Yeah…Doe…"

Crawling out of the bar into the pool, Alice waved her hand in front of Kevin's face.

"Well, he's gonna be like this for a while," she announced to no one in particular. She turned towards the camera. "My stay? It was short…and I've got to be honest, it wasn't that great. I mean, most of the people were nice, but Laura tricked me!" She pouted and the camera switched to a quick 'flashback' of Laura handing Alice the infamous photo. "I would've stayed longer, I'm sure of it…"

With a sigh, she ran a hand through her spiky hair, and glanced back at Kevin who was still spacing off into the distance, sighing dreamily.

"Seriously," she wondered out loud. "Is that dude gonna wake up any time soon?"

"I doubt it," muttered Joel.

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The camera went all the way to a dark room, where a huge TV screen was playing some unrecognized movie. Lounging on bean bag chairs were Rosetta, Riley, and Jade.

"We're kind of watching something," Rosetta irritably told the camera, attempting to wave it away.

"Yeah? Well we're kind of doing a show here," Chris retorted. Rosetta narrowed her eyes, picked up the remote, and paused the movie.

"Well?" Jade questioned, crossing her arms at Chris and the cameramen.

"So, tell us what you thought of your stay…" Chris egged on the stubborn trio.

"Mine was lame!" Jade groaned, throwing up her hands in the air. "I was in an alliance that went absolutely nowhere…" she glanced at Rosetta and Riley. "No offense, you two."

"None taken," assured Riley. He grinned. "I couldn't have asked for a better stay. I got to fight with nearly everyone there…"

"And you're proud of that fact?" Rosetta questioned, raising an eyebrow.

"Well, you were one of the people on that list, and look how I ended up with you!" Riley teased as he wrapped an arm around Rosetta's shoulders. Rosetta elbowed him playfully and grinned back.

"He also managed to show how much of a softie he can be," added Rosetta, winking at the camera.

"And we've got it all on tape," Jade remarked.

"Should I be insulted or flattered?" Riley asked.

"Eh, it's six of one, half a dozen of the other," Rosetta mused. "As for me—my stay was…alright. I somehow ended up crushing on the one I hated the most at the beginning…" She pointed towards Riley.

"Oy, but you didn't hate me more then Laura," Riley pointed out.

"True," admitted Rosetta. "But you were the more persistent one."

"That's also true," Jade chuckled. "Just goes to show how weird fate is."

"Yup," Rosetta agreed. She turned towards the camera. "There, you heard from all of us. Go bug someone else."

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The next people Chris decided to 'bug' were Satine, Leti, and Hunter, who were all hanging out in the Jacuzzi.

"Man…" Leti sighed, shifting slightly in the hot tub. "My stay was like, _way_ too full of drama. Too many fights and stuff."

"Yeah, but it all ended okay," Hunter remarked. "Everyone's friends now with each other, and there isn't even any other fights going on back on at Wawanakwa."

"Aside from Laura, who bugs anyone within a three feet radius," Satine piped up, floating on her back.

"Definitely!" Leti exclaimed. "She is like, so mean that everyone wants to hit her!"

"At least Doe got to punch her," Hunter laughed.

"She just did what everyone wanted to do," Satine chuckled, smiling lightly. She floated to the edge of the Jacuzzi, and then sat upright. "My stay was kind of weird. I took twenty-first place, came back, and was knocked off in eight place again. Not to mention I came back for quidditch in that goofy outfit where Leti and Alice were chasing me! That was totally insane!"

"Is it just me, or is this season full of crazies?" Hunter murmured.

"Hey, I'm not crazy!" Leti pouted.

"You came back pretending to be a 'dangerous' interrogation officer," Satine pointed out. Leti chuckled, and rubbed the back of her head.

"True…" she admitted. "But they _were_ paying me…"

"I wonder if we'll have even more cameos," Hunter mused.

"I've had enough of Wawanakwa to last a life time!" Satine groaned, throwing her hands in the air in exasperation.

"They aren't gonna be happy about the semifinal challenge then…" Chris mused, as he and the cameramen began walking away from the Jacuzzi.

The three Jacuzzi-goers paled.

"Wait…" Leti squeaked. "What did he just say?"

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Next stop was a café-like area where Raphael, Thomas, Rachel, and Warren were eating. They all couldn't help but roll their eyes a little when they saw Chris walking up towards them.

"Do we have to?" Warren complained.

"Yes," Chris replied, grinning. "Yes you do."

"Alright, alright," Rachel laughed. "Lemme see here…Wawanakwa was a good experience. Rest assured, I'll never go back their in the remainder of my life by my own free will…but still, I got to meet Thomas, make some friends, and play some 'interesting' challenges."

"I don't remember much about Wawanakwa," Warren admitted.

"Because you were sleeping half the time?" Thomas guessed.

"Yeah, that was probably it…" Warren said awkwardly.

"Anyways, personally, I had a good stay mon," Thomas told the camera. "I sure got hurt a lot though."

"You think you had it bad?" Raphael groaned. "Sure, I met one of the most amazing girls ever on TDI…but those deranged dodge balls practically followed my every move!" He exclaimed. He then sighed, apparently done with his outburst, and smiled slightly at the camera.

"Thankfully," he remarked. "I haven't been hit with a dodge ball anytime soon." He gestured to his face. "See any dodge ball bruises? Hm? I didn't think so."

"Raphael?" Rachel questioned sheepishly.

"Yeah?" Raphael replied, turning towards the brunette female.

"You're really giving me the urge to find a dodge ball and hit you with it just to restore natural balance…" Rachel laughed. Raphael narrowed his eyes.

"Don't you dare."

"I was just saying!" Rachel amended.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Allister and Charity were the next on the list, and the two of them were relaxing on beach chairs.

"So, did we like TDI?" Charity questioned, turning towards Allister. The two grinned.

"Not really," they answered in unison.

"We did manage to make quite a few friends though!" Charity laughed. "And I'm glad we remained on there together for a good time."

"You need something really good to help lift your spirits when you're at Wawanakwa," Allister agreed, looking straight at Charity as he said so. Charity blushed.

"If I had one thing I could change while I was there…" Charity mused, tapping her chin. "I'm pretty sure I would've tried to stop Laura in her tracks before she had a chance to screw up everyone's time there."

"But it never seems to work that way with the mean ones…" Allister sighed. "I hope she gets kicked tonight."

"Seconded," Charity agreed. "Let's just pray we don't kick off someone we like accidentally…"

"I swear if that happens I am going to slap myself," announced Allister, rolling his eyes. "We've already seen it happen once, we'd have to be pretty stupid to do it again."

"A question to ponder," Chris remarked as he and the cameramen began walking away. "Are these campers stupider then last season's campers, not quite as stupid, or _just_ as stupid? Find out tonight! Before that though, we'll move onto our second question…who do the ousted campers want to win?"

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"Oh, I want Effie to win, definitely!" Alice announced, sitting cross-legged on the bar counter. "She is my _so _cool! I mean, she single-handedly kicked the butts of all the boys in laser-tag!"

"And then got shot by Kenny three times in the back while she was talking about God-knows-what," Joel added. Alice stuck out her tongue.

"You're just jealous because you got kicked first, came back, and got kicked off the moment you came back," accused the Australian.

"I don't want to talk about it," grumbled Joel.

"I bet I know who _you_ want to win, Kevin!" Alice giggled. Kevin grinned.

"Yeah, it'd be awesome for Doe to win, she definitely deserves it…" he mused. "She told me she wants to be known for more than just being 'Courtney's sister'. And I think she can do it!"

"So…touching!" Alice cried. She turned to the two twins. "Alright, who do you guys want to win?"

"Actually?" Joel chuckled. "I want…_Laura_ to win."

"NO!" Alice exclaimed, grabbing a crucifix out of nowhere and whapping Joel with it repeatedly in the head. "The power of Christ compels you! _The power of Christ compels_ _you_!"

"Ow!" Joel shouted. "Dang it Alice, stop doing that!"

"Wait…" Alice paused for a brief moment. "So Laura's _not_ telepathically possessing you from a distance?" Joel slapped his forehead.

"Of course not!" shouted the disgruntled twin. Alice lowered the crucifix.

"Oh…"

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Chris walked over to the movie room where Riley, Rosetta, and Jade were hanging out in, only to find that they had locked the door.

"Of all the…" the host rolled his eyes. "Dudes, unlock the door!"

"No!" They all shouted in unison.

"Fine!" Chris grumbled. "I've still got my master keys!" He whipped out a ring of keys that held more keys than he could count. "Uh…which key was the movie room key?"

Eighty-nine wrong keys later, Chris finally opened the door.

"You're not the only stubborn ones here," the host told them. "No tell us who you want to win, dang it!" The three of them sighed.

"Okay, okay…I think Doe should win," Rosetta announced. "Sure, she may be a little crazy but she's nice."

"Well I think Kenny should win," Riley disagreed. "The dude is so shy; maybe some cash will help him see the fun side of life."

"I vote for Ashlynn," Jade said dryly. "She's sarcastic—and to me, that's kind of funny."

"Hm…all three of you want different people to win…" Chris said mysteriously. "Do I sense some conflict?" Riley, Jade, and Rosetta exchanged glances.

"Not…really…" They replied in unison, eyeing Chris with raised eyebrows.

"Oh you guys are no fun," Chris muttered. And with that, he left the room.

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Leti squealed in the bathtub so loudly that Hunter and Satine plugged their ears, slightly annoyed at the preppy one.

"Kenny should win! Kenny should win!" Leti chanted. "He's super-nice, and always settles conflicts!"

"I agree…" Hunter said weakly. "But enough with the squealing please?" Leti quieted down, smiling sheepishly.

"Well, I think Ashlynn would be a good person to win," Satine spoke up. "She's a tad cynical—but she's so nice as long as you're nice too."

"Yeah," Hunter mused. "All of them are pretty nice actually—asides from Laura, of course."

"Well, we must kick her off then!" Leti proclaimed. "Come on, who's with me? Ousted campers…unite!"

She pumped her fist, and Hunter and Satine just kind of stared at her in confusion.

"This is the part where you say 'unite' too…" Leti continued. Hunter and Satine said nothing, although they were stifling laughs.

"Alright, I'll unite by myself…" Leti sniffled.

"You do that," chuckled Satine.

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"Can we _not_ eat our lunch in peace?" questioned Raphael as the cameramen headed back to the four eating campers at the café.

"You can…after you tell us who you want to win. But we'll be back later of course," Chris replied.

"Of course," Raphael muttered, pushing his glasses up slightly.

"I think Doe should win!" Rachel said cheerfully. "She was awesome! Never a downer, that one…"

"I have to agree with Rachel on that one," Thomas laughed.

"Just because she's your girlfriend?" Warren guessed. Thomas raised an eyebrow.

"Uh…no, mon," he replied.

"Whatever," Warren remarked; although Thomas could've sworn he muttered a 'whipped' under his breath.

"Well who do you want to win?" Thomas questioned Warren. Warren shrugged.

"I guess it'd be funny to see what Effie would do if she won…" he mused. "Life's always funnier with someone insane involved."

"Not to mention more dangerous," Thomas commented.

"Well, I definitely think Ashlynn should win," Raphael told them. "She's smart, talented, and I think she can make it all the way. She's nice enough that she _should_ make it too."

"Aw…!" Rachel squealed, her eyes sparkling. "That's so sweet of you to say that about her!" Raphael rubbed the back of his head in slight embarrassment.

"There," he sighed, facing Chris and the cameramen. "You heard it all. Are we done here?"

"Well, I'm sure the viewers would love it if you went into the mushy stuff again," suggested Chris.

Raphael threw a bowl of mashed potatoes at the host's face.

"Well! Fine then!" Chris complained. "Must contestants throw stuff at me all the time?"

"No," Raphael replied. "Just when you're being annoying and uncaring."

"That's all the time," Warren pointed out.

"I rest my case," Raphael said, leaning back in his chair.

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Charity tapped her chin, apparently in deep thought.

"Well, I think Effie should win," Allister spoke up from besides her, adjusting himself on his chair. "At least she helped me last challenge."

"Even though you were kicked off anyway," Charity chuckled.

"Gee. Thanks for reminding me, Charity."

"Oh you know I'm just kidding!" Charity assured him with a huge grin. "As for me, I guess Kenny should win in my books. He seems like a pretty nice dude, y'know?"

"Like one who doesn't remind people of their elimination?" Allister asked sarcastically. Charity rolled her eyes.

"I get the point."

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For the third (and thankfully final) time, the camera went to those relaxing near the pool bar for the third and final question: What do you think of each of the campers?

"Wait…aren't these questions out of order?" Leo asked.

"That's beside the point," Chris replied. "Just answer the question."

"Sheesh," grumbled Joel. "Alright, let's see here…Kenny seems whiny and weak, Doe and Effie are both insane, Ashlynn is too nosy, and Laura is the only formidable opponent. How's that?"

Alice popped her head out from the bar and began shaking Joel's shoulders.

"Why can't you be nice?!" She wailed.

"Why can't you stop shaking me?!" He yelled back.

"Uh…over here?" Kevin questioned, waving for the camera's attention. "You already know how much I love Doe…Kenny seems like an awesome dude who needs to lay back a bit, Laura…she's not cool man, Effie can seriously _rock the house_, and Ashlynn is cool in my books."

"What books?" Leo questioned, honestly confused. The other three campers at the pool bar regarded him with disbelief.

"Dude," Kevin said, turning to Joel. "Is he kidding?"

"No," Joel replied. "He was dropped on the head as a baby. Multiple times."

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Now, the movie room was locked, and numerous heavy objects were in the way of the door.

"Oh they're good," Chris muttered to himself. "But we're better…bring the wrecking cane!"

"The _what_?!" Riley exclaimed from inside the room.

"I think we might want to back up a few feet!" Rosetta said quickly, as she, Riley, and Jade went to the other end of the room. A huge metallic ball knocked a hole in the room in a few seconds, and Chris hopped in the gigantic hole, acting as if nothing had just happened.

"So," the host said cheerfully. "What do you guys think of each of the final five separately?"

"Never do that again!" Jade shouted. Seeing she would never get a proper apology out of Chris, she narrowed her eyes, and reluctantly answered the question. "From what I've seen in the episodes…Laura needs to jump in a hole,"

"A big one," Riley agreed.

"Doe is a tad too cheerful for my tastes, Effie…scares me," Jade continued.

"Join the club," Rosetta remarked.

"Ashlynn is relatively funny, and Kenny seems nice although he needs to take more," Jade finished.

"Doe was a good friend while I was still on there…" Rosetta mused. "Ashlynn was pretty nice. Effie is funny but yes, still insane. Kenny seems like a sweet guy. And I still hate Laura. She got me kicked off when I did nothing wrong!"

"Don't remind me," Riley sighed. "Crappiest day of my life." Rosetta turned her head so Riley didn't see her blush. "Anyways…I'm still friends with Doe I guess, Kenny still seems pretty cool, Effie is frickin' hilarious, Ashlynn I used to not like but she's okay now, and Laura needs to go home. In fact, maybe she should just go back from whatever deep dark place she returned from so we don't have to deal with her here as well."

"Agreed," Rosetta said. She once again eyed the gaping hole Chris had made in the wall. "Now Chris, can you leave? This is madness!"

_"This…is…SPARTA!" _a voice from the movie _300_ screamed on the TV.

The three teens stared at the TV like it had just grown a head.

"That…was unintentional…" Rosetta said slowly.

"And very, very, weird…" Riley agreed, nodding his head.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Well…" Hunter mused, as he tilted his head slightly to the left. "I didn't get a chance to get that acquainted with all of them. Kenny and I started off on the wrong foot, but we're buds now so it's cool. Doe and Effie look like they could take on a wooly beaver."

"Effie already did," Satine reminded him. "She tamed one."

"Oh yeah, that's right," Hunter remarked. "That…was kind of creepy. Anyways, Ashlynn seems like a good person, and of course, Laura is just the worst."

"I agree with you there…" Satine sighed. "And with everything else pretty much," she added. She then turned to the camera. "If you're wondering where Leti ran off too…she was still pouting that we wouldn't join superhero forces with her, or something like that, so she's…er…" Satine gave an awkward grin.

**Elsewhere:**

"All right, ladies!" Leti hooted as she played with the records on a DJ tabletop near the beach. "We're gonna take this nice and slow with one of my favorites…" she started singing. "_You put your right foot in; you put your right foot out..!"_

Unfortunately, the only company Leti had for her musical show were wooly beavers, crocodiles, and a chubby weird little Eskimo dude. Leti didn't seem to mind.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Yeah…" Hunter said, shaking his head with a hangdog look on his face. "We decided to stay out of that."

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Warren, Raphael, Thomas, and Rachel were sneaking out of the backdoor of the restaurant, apparently trying to avoid another interview deal with Chris. It didn't work. However, they continued walking down the path they were going, even though Chris and the camera crew still followed them.

"Hello, campers who are no longer campers but will still be referred to as campers!" Chris greeted much to the chagrin, confusion, or annoyance of the four ousted contestants.

"That's not the catchiest nickname," Rachel commented.

"You'll get used to it. So, what do you guys think of the other TDI contestants?"

"Gah…" Warren sighed, shaking his head. "Let me see here. I think we can all agree that Laura is a total bi--"

"Kids show," Raphael reminded him. "But I do agree with you. Continuing on with the question, Doe and Effie were fun to have around."

"Even though they were playing matchmaker with you, mon?" Thomas questioned.

"Yeah…" Raphael laughed. "It's not like I can say I don't like who they 'picked' for me, anyways."

"You two are so cute together!" Rachel giggled.

"Wait, are you talking about Thomas and Raphael?" Warren asked. Rachel slapped her forehead.

"No, you idiot, I meant Raphael and Ashlynn!"

"Well there's no need for the name-calling!"

"Well there's no need for you to be a moron!" Rachel retaliated, despite the lack of creativity in that particular insult.

As the two bickered, Raphael and Thomas exchanged glances.

"Uh…how about you?" Raphael asked Thomas.

"Ah, I can't say anything bad about any of them!" Thomas said cheerfully. Raphael raised an eyebrow in slight surprise.

"Even Laura?" he asked.

"Even Laura," Thomas replied. He frowned. "Weird, isn't it? I couldn't insult someone to save my own life. It would kill me inside, mon."

"That _is_ weird," Chris remarked. "I mean, I do it all the time and look how _I_ turned out!"

"On a reality show with a bunch of teenagers who would gladly throw you into a pit of crocodiles?" Raphael questioned, crossing his arms and grinning.

"Touché," Thomas chuckled, draping a dreadlock behind his ear. Chris just rolled his eyes.

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At their final stop, the camera went to where Charity and Allister were relaxing on the folding chairs.

"Isn't this getting kind of redundant for you guys?" Allister asked the cameramen.

"No. Yes. Maybe," Chris sighed. "But we're almost at the 'moment of truth'…so hurry up and answer the question."

"Sheesh, alright," Charity chuckled. "Doe was always a good person to have around. She's friendly to everyone, except of course--"

"Laura," Charity, Allister, Chris, and probably all of the readers who have managed to stay on this somewhat boring chapter finished in unison.

"Must we go through this?" Allister asked. "You already know what we're going to say about the contestants. Then of course we'd end with a 'witty' line and you'd go to the next scene. Rinse and repeat."

"He's got a point…" Charity remarked. Chris's hand flew to his forehead.

"Alright. Fine. Just get everyone at the pool so we can get this done with! Sheesh, you guys are the most stubborn contestants _ever_!"

"We try!" Charity snickered as she hopped off her chair.

And heck, that wasn't even much of a 'witty' line either.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The sun soon faded into the clouds, and there weren't even any creepy Wawanakwa wildlife noises to disrupt the peace. All of the campers went to the pool together, worried for however they might screw this elimination up.

"Heh," Joel chuckled, walking with the others on the way to the pool. "I don't know about you guys, but as soon as that ridiculous host comes, I'm going to say 'Effie' as many times as I can," he remarked, eyeing Alice as he finished saying so. Alice gasped, and turned around immediately, her hands placed prominently on her hips.

"You're just doing that because I wanted her to win!" She accused angrily.

"So?" Joel taunted. "What are _you_ gonna do about it?" The two teens glared angrily at each other. (Alice stood on her tip-toes to meet Joel's gaze).

And then, the two fell to the floor, kissing feverishly.

The other fifteen contestants stared at them with gaping mouths and wide eyes.

"Well," Riley remarked. "Can't say I saw that one coming."

"I don't know whether to be horrified, disgusted, shocked, or amused," Rosetta said weakly.

"Can we settle for a mix of the four?" Raphael laughed nervously.

"I don't see why not."

Slowly backing away from the two, the other campers sat around the pool, dawdling awkwardly as they waited for Chris to arrive yet again.

"We know he's coming," Warren grumbled impatiently. "So why make us wait?"

"He's _Chris_, Warren," Allister reminded the blonde, with a quick roll of his eyes. "Why wouldn't he make us wait?"

"Well what's he waiting for?" Rachel sighed. "What, is he still primping his hair or something?"

"Or putting his make up on," suggested Jade.

"Or admiring himself in the mirror," Satine giggled.

"Or--" Leti began, but she was cut off when Chris finally arrived.

"Alright, that's enough," Chris announced, appearing in front of the campers with yet another cheesetastic '_poof'_ of purple smoke.

"Took you long enough!" Hunter sighed.

"I thought you campers would actually talk about something interesting," retorted the host. "So, let's get this party started! You all remember the rules! In the five minutes I'll time you guys, you can say any person you want to join you tonight! You should go one at a time…otherwise I'll have no idea who the heck is talking."

"Ready?" Chris questioned. The other campers glanced at each other nervously.

"Set…?" Chris continued, raising a timer.

"GO!" Chris shouted.

"Okay…" Hunter muttered to himself. "We are _not_ voting for Ashlynn or Kenny or Doe…"

"Angry muttering counts!" Chris said cheerfully. "Ashlynn, Kenny, and Doe all have one vote!"

"_Hunter_!" The other campers groaned in unison. Hunter grimaced and slapped his forehead.

"Come on guys," Rosetta said firmly as she pushed a lock of hair behind her ears. "We don't want to make the same mistake twice, do we?"

"NO!" Leti agreed loudly. "I vote for Laura! Laura, Laura, Laura!" Chris frowned, obviously disappointed.

"Okay. Four votes for Laura…"

"I vote for Laura too!" Raphael added.

"I agree with the little dude!" Warren exclaimed.

"You have to actually say her name," Rachel reminded him.

"Okay…Laura!"

_Ding!_ Went the score-keeper as Chris reluctantly announced Laura's sixth vote.

"Well," Leo said, grinning evilly. "_I_ vote for Ke--" Leo was cut off when from behind him, Jade pushed him into the pool.

"Obviously there's no 'Ke' at Camp Wawanakwa," Jade chuckled. "Maybe he's losing it."

"Cuckoo in the cranium," Riley agreed.

"Are you kidding me?" Leo shouted, as he poked his head up from the pool. "I was obviously voting for Ke--" Once again, Jade dunked his head underneath the pool with her heel. Agitated, Leo climbed up from the pool once again. He said nothing, but crossed his arms and glared at Jade.

"That's…two votes for 'Ke'," Chris said awkwardly.

"Well I still vote for Laura!" Thomas said quickly.

_Ding!_

"Laura, Laura, Laura…" Satine began to chant. The others joined in as well. And soon, the score/vote keeper was racking up tons of votes for the queen bee.

Chris's five-minute stopwatch finally came to its last second, and the campers each hugged each other and cheered in their victory.

"The final four owe us one!" Leti laughed.

"Did you _have_ to kick off the most entertaining character on the show?" Chris complained.

"Deal with it, McClain!" Charity said, smirking.

"And…here she comes now," Allister mused, cupping a hand around his ear. A sound of a boat was heard, along with some obvious struggling and screaming. The campers ran to the Playa de Losers dock, and grinned wildly as they saw Laura exit.

She was (forcefully) thrown off the boat by Chef, who soon drove away, grumbling to himself.

Rosetta was the first to step forward, her grin widening as she saw her old enemy.

"Hello…_Laura_," she greeted, cracking her knuckles. Laura looked up, and her eyes widened slightly.

The queen bee took off running.

"Get back here!" Rosetta shouted, running after Laura. "You ruined everyone's life on that show!" The angry one continued to chase the queen of mean throughout the resort.

"I better go follow her," Riley said mildly as he began to jog behind Rosetta.

"I don't want to miss this!" Rachel laughed, following Riley. The others began pursuit as well.

And the screen began to fade into black as the episode seemed to be heading to a close…

That is, until a previously-unseen-throughout-the-whole-episode blonde walked in front of the black screen, shaking from anger.

"Okay…" he breathed, apparently trying to calm himself. "Okay, okay…I know I might've not had a lot of _fans_, and that I wasn't very," he made quotation marks with his fingers, "_popular_, but there wasn't a signal reference to me in this chapter, dang it! _I_ was a _smart_ contestant! I didn't risk my life for money! _I--_"

John's pointless rant was interrupted when he was trampled by Laura, who was still being chased by Rosetta, who was being chased by most of the _other_ campers—Leo, Satine, Warren, Jade, Joel, Alice, Hunter, Rachel, Kevin, Charity, Leti, Thomas, Raphael, and Riley. Who all trampled him as well.

Allister was last to walk lazily into the black-screen area, smiling slightly from amusement.

"That's all folks," He announced, glancing at the camera. "For real, this time."

Allister then glanced at the very-much-so-trampled John.

"Uh…can we get a medic in here?"

**(A.N.) Okay…with apologies to BroadwayBabe4, Laura, the queen of mean, has finally left the building.**

**While normally I would just prattle on for a paragraph or two, I actually do have news that you might (or might not) care about. **

**Er…there won't be a sequel. I just…don't really…feel like it? I dunno, it was fun, but I feel like my quality is slipping in these chapters ("But **_**Janey**_**, that's because it **_**is**_**! XD") and I want to work on other stuff so if I even did attempt a sequel I wouldn't be able to c-o…m-m-i…t-t…t-t-t…t-t-t-t-t…**_**t**_**.**

**If you know what I just referenced, you rock. **

**On completely unrelated news—my school officially rocks. It's spirit week—and we got to wear ridiculous hats and dance to 'Thriller' in homeroom. How awesome is that? XD**

**Well—I'm gonna go crash. Sayonara! ^^**


	26. Party Till You Drop

Chris gave his signature 'I'm-better-than-you' grin and walked casually to the center of the camera's view.

"Yup, it's me again!" He announced. "We couldn't do lame slapstick kickers for every intro after all…anyways, last time on Total! Drama! Island! Once again, we visited the Playa de Losers to check on the bitter, bitter, losers. Well…not so bitter, actually. They were pretty happy to be off this place. When it came time for the contestant elimination, they _finally_ were able to kick of Laura, despite the fact that she was the most entertaining contestant on that show," he grumbled, crossing his arms.

"Now, it's down to the final four! Who will win? Will it be the sarcastic and caring Ashlynn? The optimistic and goofy Doe? The crazy and lovable Effie? Or the shy and kind Kenny? We're nearing the end! Find out who makes it to the semifinals on the _most _dramatic campfire ceremony EVER…on Total…Drama…_Island_!"

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For the first time in a _long_ time, the four remaining were actually in a good mood when they woke up in the morning.

And that was saying something.

It was pretty obvious the change in mood was due to Laura's leave on Camp Wawanakwa. Ashlynn, Doe, and Effie could now openly talk to each other at night without worrying about the queen bee's snide jibes ruining it.

Ashlynn was the last to wake up in her cabin in the morning—Effie and Doe were already gone. Blinking her eyes to adjust to the light, Ashlynn wondered where they had gone off to.

"On second thought…" she mumbled to herself, climbing out of her bunk. "It's probably better not to ask." The brunette got dressed quickly, and headed out the door towards the mess hall in fear of how late she might be.

When she got in there, the only other camper in there as well was Kenny, who was still staring fearfully at the plate of 'food' in front of him. Chef was glaring at him from behind, expectantly waiting for the poor wallflower to eat it.

"Well?" questioned Chef, cracking his knuckles. "Is it not good enough for ya?!"

"N…no!" Kenny stammered, his face turning red. He threw a desperate glance to Ashlynn, who just watched the whole scene with slight amusement.

"He's just waiting for Doe and Effie, isn't that right?" Ashlynn pitched in, throwing Kenny a bone (not…literally…). "It wouldn't be fair for him to eat before they get to." Chef eyed the two suspiciously, and then stomped back to his kitchen, muttering to himself.

Kenny let out a huge sigh of relief.

"Thanks," he muttered, poking the unidentifiable goop in front of him. Ashlynn was pretty sure she heard the thing hiss. She grimaced sympathetically, and slid into the seat in front of Kenny.

"You owe me one," she said, grinning.

"Fair enough," Kenny replied. "So, how'd you sleep?"

"Better than ever," Ashlynn sighed happily. "I'm just _so_ glad Laura's gone. This place already seems ten times happier."

"But no less scary," Kenny laughed. "It's the final four now. Who knows what kind of sick twisted challenge we'll have to do?"

"At least there's peace and quiet…" murmured Ashlynn.

"Effie's still here," Kenny pointed out.

"Peace then, if not the quiet," Ashlynn corrected herself. "Where are those two, anyways?"

"I thought you would know," Kenny mused. "You're bunking with them, after all."

"Yeah, but they were gone when I woke up," Ashlynn replied. "They could be anywhere by now. Those two are as crazy as a fox in a hen house."

Kenny raised an eyebrow at the odd Southern-style simile.

"Oh bloody hell," Ashlynn muttered, slapping her forehead. "Please tell me I did not just say that."

"You kind of did," Kenny snickered. "Okay, I have to admit…I think I felt my own IQ points drop a few when you said that." Ashlynn stubbornly crossed her arms and glared at the boy in front of her.

"You know I could beat the crap out of you if you insulted me again, right?" She threatened. Kenny, embarrassed, turned red and smiled sheepishly.

"I'm sure I would be able to get a few slaps in…" he mumbled. Ashlynn rolled her eyes, but chuckled.

**Confession Cam: Would PWN in a slap fight.**

"Kenny's pretty nice," Ashlynn admitted. "But I feel guilty, because I feel like I'm only trying to be friends with him since he's friends with Raphael." She paused, and then tapped her chin. "Huh, I wonder…who would win in a slap fight…Kenny or Raphael?"

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Greetings, campers!" Chris hummed, striding into the mess hall.

"You really need to have a new greeting," Kenny remarked. "That one is getting pretty old. You could say something like, 'Howdy, final four!'"

"Howdy final four?" Ashlynn repeated, stifling a laugh.

"Final four…" Chris echoed. "Yeah. Uh…where's the _other_ final two in the final four?"

"Good question," said Kenny.

"That didn't answer the question," Chris objected.

"At least you now know it was a good question," Ashlynn said blankly. Chris narrowed his eyes.

"Okay, seriously, where is Doe and Ef--"

"ALL ABOARD!" The two said girls screamed in unison from outside. They marched in the doors, dancing and parading down the aisle of the mess hall.

"The _love train!_" Doe added, her eyes sparkling.

"That disco ball wasn't there five seconds ago…" Ashlynn noted, referring to the bright spinning globe that was now somehow hanging from the ceiling.

"Neither was the cheesy music…" Kenny added, glancing around in confusion.

"Ya like it?" Effie asked, jumping on the tabletop and facing Kenny and Ashlynn. "We spent like, three hours for this kind of entrance!"

"What's all this for?" Ashlynn asked. "Is it all because of Laura getting the boot?"

"You bet!" Doe chirped, plopping herself next to Ashlynn. "She was such a downer! Now we can par-_tay_!"

"Funny you should say that," chuckled Chris. "Because actually…there _is_ a party that's going to happen tonight for today's challenge."

"What's the catch?" Kenny asked suspiciously.

"Well…the party isn't for you," Chris continued. The campers exchanged glances, annoyed at Chris's deliberate long pauses for an attempt at drama. Time passed on.

"Who's it for then?" Ashlynn inquired impatiently as she tapped her foot on the floor. "You? Chef? Campers from last year? That creepy bear that seems to follow us everywhere? The psycho killer with a chainsaw and a hook that speaks in an unusually high pitched voice? Tell us!"

"Tonight, you final four, there's going to be a party…for all of this seasons ousted campers!"

"Alright!" Effie exclaimed, punching a fist in the air. "Charlie's Angels are gonna be back and ready to roll!"

"And I get to see Kevin again!" Doe cackled. "I heard _he_ wants to take me on at an arm-wrestling match now…"

"You can take him," Kenny laughed, smiling.

"Got that right," Doe agreed, flashing the wallflower a grin.

"So, the challenge is laced somewhere in the party, right Chris?" Ashlynn guessed. She frowned, and rubbed the back of her neck in confusion. "I'm having trouble imagining what sort of challenge a party could be."

"You've been here this long Ashlynn," Chris remarked. He smirked. "You should know by now how twisted we are…"

"Was that supposed to scare me?" Ashlynn asked, an eyebrow raised.

"Well, um, yeah. Sort of."

Ashlynn clicked her tongue.

"It didn't work."

"I figured," Chris sighed. "All sarcasm aside, let's head outdoors shall we?"

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Chris led the final four to the back of the mess hall. Where the large open area of grass once was, there was now everything a teen could imagine for a party—video games, a stage with karaoke machines, a dunking tank, and even…

"REAL FOOD!" Effie, Doe, Kenny, and Ashlynn screamed delightedly in unison, trying to take a running start towards the snacks laid out on tables.

"Not so fast…" Chris grumbled, somehow grabbing all four contestants' collars with one hand and rubbing his now very sore ears with the other. "Like I said, they're not for you." Doe huffed, and narrowed her brown eyes at the host, struggling to break free.

"Oh come on!" she whined. "If this challenge is just throwing a party for everyone who's been kicked off here, why can't we share in the fun?"

"Because, my misguided young camper," Chris explained. "You four are like the leaders of the whole party!"

"We're babysitting these guys for the challenge?" Ashlynn questioned in disbelief.

"Not babysitting…more like, protecting."

"From what?" Effie asked excitedly. "The RCMP? Those guys are pretty evil, after all…and they'll never--"

"Get you alive," Kenny finished for her.

"Exactly!" Effie crooned. "Man Kenny, how'd you know that? Are you a mind reader?" Kenny rolled his eyes.

"Here's the deal," Chris continued, ignoring the insane redhead. "Those eighteen campers will be arriving here later tonight. One of those campers is going to 'crash' the party, per say. Don't be surprised if things blow up, bears get set loose, and all hell breaks loose."

"You basically assigned someone to screw everything up," Ashlynn deducted, her jaw opening slightly.

"Yup!"

"So you're getting someone to do what _you_ usually do," Doe giggled. "Losing your touch, McClain?" Chris, unfazed by the insult, just shook his head and grinned.

"Not exactly. Maybe I didn't phrase this well enough. You guys have to find the party crasher before he, or she, screws _everything_ up. None of the partygoers know about the party crasher, save for the party crasher his or herself, and you're not allowed to tell anyone either. And you can't just walk up and ask them if they're the crasher. First one to find the guilty culprit wins invincibility. And…the voting will have a little…twist. Of course, I can't tell you what it is."

"Of course," Ashlynn echoed, rolling her eyes. "Won't it be obvious to see who's lighting stuff on fire, or spiking the punch, or whatever crap you have in mind?"

"Nope. The crasher shall be sneaky! _Very_ sneaky!"

**Confession Cam: Are we rigged to explode? Hopefully not.**

"My money's on Laura being the party-crasher," Ashlynn announced. "After all, she _is_ the queen of sneaky. And…the queen of mean, the queen of backstabbing, the queen of self-centeredness, the queen of narcissism…I could go on all day."

Bzzzzzt. Or something to that effect.

"Sneaky…" repeated Doe. She placed her hands on her hips. "I'm watching you, Riley!"

Staaaaaaatic.

"Izzy totally is capable of crashing a party!" Effie proclaimed. "I mean, we've ruined parties _tons_ of times before! Heh…I never _did_ see that guy's ceiling again…" She paused. "Oh wait, are we talking about this year's contestants? Huh. Well, none of them really match up to the awesomeness of my sister…"

(Insert sound effect of your choice here.)

"It's going to be someone we don't expect," Kenny said plainly. "Heck, it always is in the movies."

"This ain't yo movies!" Chef hollered from outside the confession cam. "Do you see any cameras in here, boy?!"

"Uh…yeah…" Kenny replied awkwardly, scratching his head and tapping the camera right in front of him.

"Oh…right. Carry on then!"

------------------------------------------------------------------------

"So, when's the party?" Doe asked excitedly as Chris finally released his grip on the teens.

"A couple hours!" Chris announced. "Until then…step away from the--"

Ignoring him, the four teens plowed through the host all the way to the food in a somewhat comical yet mostly frightening fashion.

"Aw man!" Chris groaned. "Now we're gonna need more food. I can always dock the cost out of Chef's pay…"

"You're gonna what now?" Chef growled, suddenly appearing next to Chris.

"Whoa!" Chris shouted, jumping in the air from surprise. "Yeah…you weren't exactly supposed to hear that."

"Some solution that was," Chef muttered sarcastically. "I don't even _get_ paid."

"Well then, I guess you'll just owe me money then, hm?" Chris concluded, clapping his hands together.

Chef smacked the host on the head, sending him straight to the ground.

"Ow…okay…jokes in poor taste get me knocked in the head…I'll keep that in mind," groaned Chris.

"That's a good host," Chef chuckled, deliberately stepping on Chris as he walked over to divert the campers away from the food before they ended up throwing up all over the place. He had enough of that in season one.

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The final four walked towards the dock, awaiting their guests for the evening, and multitasking by wondering how screwed up this 'party' was going to be.

"So…seeing the losers again," Chris remarked, appearing besides the campers much to their annoyance. "How does it feel?"

"Good for the most part," Doe laughed. "It's gonna be fun seeing everybody again."

"Save for Laura?" Effie guessed.

"Save for Laura," Doe sighed. "You had to bring her back somehow, didn't you Chris?"

"I love loopholes," Chris said in a singsong voice. "We were gonna delay their return till the semifinals, but I figured, why wait?"

"Yes, why delay our misfortune?" Ashlynn chuckled, shaking her head with a grin. Despite the sarcasm, Ashlynn was definitely in a good mood.

"Excited to see Raphael?" Kenny teased, elbowing his brunette friend.

"I suppose I am," Ashlynn replied. She winked at Kenny. "And I suppose you're excited to see Leti as well."

"Aw man!" Effie groaned, stomping her foot. "I'm gonna be the only final four not making out with somebody!" This proclamation earned the redhead a collection of face-slapping, blushing, and the inevitable awkward silence.

"That might just help you win invincibility," Doe chimed in after some time, thankfully turning the conversation to something important—the challenge itself. "Hey Chris, do we have to have to have evidence of the party crasher, or can we just tell everyone who we think it is?"

"You have to catch them in the act," Chris replied. "And have some of the ousted campers witness it. Don't forget, the losers don't know about the crasher, save for the actual crasher, and you CAN'T tell them that the party's gonna go hell in a hand basket!"

**Confession Cam: Debating which person to laugh at.**

"What is with the similes and weird sayings today?" Kenny asked, his hands thrown up in the air. "I barely understand half the things these people say anymore!"

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"Hold on a second," Ashlynn objected. "So, you expect these guys to believe that you're just throwing a _party_ for them?! You practically, okay scratch that, you _did_ torture them for the past couple weeks! You think they're gonna fall for it that easily?" Chris tapped his chin.

"Pretty much," he said after a few seconds.

"Chris, this is the most half-assed plan you've ever had since--" Ashlynn was interrupted when the Boat of Losers finally pulled up to Camp Wawanakwa and a familiar Hispanic beauty was the first to leap off.

"_Party_!" She cheered, wringing her hands in excitement and immediately tackling Kenny with joy upon sight. "This is gonna be awesome!" Chris glanced towards Ashlynn, obviously smug.

"Oh come on," Ashlynn snickered, crossing her arms. "You fooled Leti. _Leti._"

"Hey everybody! Who's ready to have a rocking night?" Kevin was next off, and with that, he sprinted towards Doe and spun her around in a hug that soon lead to a kiss. Chris grinned at Ashlynn, even smugger than before. She just rolled her eyes, but smiled as she saw all the other ex-contestants clamber off the boat towards them as well.

"Hey…where's Laura?" Effie asked, squinting as she stared at seventeen of the supposed-to-be eighteen loser contestants.

"Oh God!" Doe wailed, burying her head in her hands. "Someone actually killed her!"

"Don't tempt us," Rosetta remarked, smirking. "She just refused to get on the same boat we did."

"Why am I not surprised…?" Kenny mused.

"And…ladies and gentlemen, the creature from the black lagoon," Jade sighed, nodding towards the boat that now carried one single passenger.

"I was gonna say that," Riley complained. Jade shrugged.

"Too slow, man. Gotta go for the less obvious jokes."

"You had to drag me back here?!" Laura shrieked, stomping over to the other contestants who were all not quite so thrilled upon seeing their common enemy. "I hate this place!"

"Yeah…" Hunter groaned. "We know. You told us."

"How many times?" Alice wondered.

"That last one makes it…forty-two," Rachel announced. "Of course, we started counting a few minutes ago."

"Isn't forty-two the meaning of life?" Thomas mused.

"And the universe," Satine added.

"And everything," Joel finished. He slapped his forehead. "Why the hell do I know that?"

"Because inside you're a big cuddly and somewhat nerdy teddy bear?" Alice giggled, slinking up to her sort-of-boyfriend-but-possibly-just-a-make-out-partner.

"As if," grumbled the more irritated of the twins.

"Aw…he's like Duncan, only stupider!" Charity chuckled. Joel gave Charity a 'what-the-hell?' face and narrowed his eyes.

"Dude! I'm standing right here!" he growled. "And Leo's the stupid one!"

"I have feelings too…" Leo sniffled. Allister patted his shoulder comfortingly.

"Alright then!" Chris interrupted, snapping his fingers for the campers' attention. "Let's get this party started! Right this way, behind the mess hall!"

The host shot one wicked grin towards the still-in campers, and proceeded to direct the others to the back.

"Here we go," Kenny sighed, jogging ahead towards Leti and the others.

"Sweet!" Effie giggled, as she and Doe high-fived each other. "I'm gonna bag me a live one!"

"I don't think that's the right phrase to use…" Doe remarked. The two friends ran up as well.

Ashlynn began walking up too, but stopped when she saw Raphael sprawled on the ground.

"Yikes! What happened to you?" Ashlynn asked, kneeling over to help the awkward one up.

"Not…really sure…" Raphael mumbled, rubbing the back of his head sheepishly. He glanced down at his feet. "Oh. I forgot to tie my shoelaces. That's much more relieving than having to face the incident I was expecting."

"What _were_ you expecting?" Ashlynn questioned, an eyebrow raised.

"…dodge balls…" Raphael sighed.

"Of course," Ashlynn laughed. She smiled. "I really missed you Raphael. Camp hasn't been the same without your…your…"

"Bright and positive outlook on life?" Raphael guessed, sarcastic but grinning all the same.

"Right," Ashlynn chuckled. "Listen, I can't talk long because I have to--" remembering Chris's rule, she stopped herself short from telling Raphael what he wasn't supposed to know (unless of course, he was the crasher himself). "I have to…do…something important," she finished. She grinned and quickly kissed Raphael on the lips.

"Love you!" She called out, before jogging ahead and disappearing behind the mass of the mess hall. Raphael would've replied, but well…he fainted. Again.

**Confession Cam: And the gags keep runnin', runnin' and runnin', runnin' and runnin', runnin'…**

The camera focused on Raphael, who spoke between head-bangs on the side of the confession cam.

"WHY--" Bang. "DOES--" Bang. "THAT--" Bang. "KEEP--" Bang. "HAPPENING--" Bang. "TO--" Bang. "ME?!" Bang, bang, bang. "Must I faint every single time I get kissed?! Argh!" Bang, bang, bang.

With enough 'bangs' to make a drum solo, the camera thankfully switched out of the confession cam back to the real show.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Wow…" Charity marveled once the gang reached the party area. "This party is actually--"

"Nice?" Allister interrupted, laughing. "I'm as surprised as you are. There's gotta be a catch."

"Nope!" Chris said innocently. "We're just having a short hiatus on challenges. Not every episode can be packed full of drama and injury, y'know. We figured we might as well bring back you guys too for a short, humorous episode."

**Confession Cam: Master of lies, disguise, and the occasional quesadilla. Wait…what?**

"That was actually a good cover-up," Doe remarked, mildly surprised. "Of course, it's Chris…whose lies are numbered in thousands…or millions…or probably in numbers uncountable…"

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"Well…" Warren said, after some time. "Do we just…go…do stuff now?"

"Duh," Chris said, rolling his eyes. "I take it you've never been invited to a party?"

"Of course I have!" Warren objected, flushing from embarrassment.

"Whatever you say," Chris chuckled slyly. "Anyways, Chef—turn up the tunes, and let's get this party started!"

Chef did as he was told, clicking the stereo on for some hip-hop dance tune no one really recognized. After much effort, a couple of the teens forced Laura into the dunking tank, grabbing the tennis balls for it with evil grins. A few others went over to the video games, some snacked out, and some started dancing on the stage.

Meanwhile, the actual final four campers stationed themselves around the party, looking over everything with eyes like…like…like something that's not a hawk, because I refuse to make that oh-so cliché simile.

At least an hour passed, but no sign of danger came to arouse the party.

"Was Chris just fooling us?" Ashlynn asked Kenny as she walked over to the wallflower by the snack table. "This is getting kind of boring."

"Yeah," Kenny agreed, frowning. "How long does he expect us to wait? Oh well, might as well enjoy the party." He leaned back as saying so, and immediately the table he was leaning on collapsed from underneath him, sending him falling onto the table face-first into some guacamole.

"Oh that's just rich," Kenny muttered. "Anyone got a napkin?" Ashlynn stifled a laugh.

"Oh my gosh! Kenny!" Leti yelped, immediately sprinting towards her boyfriend. "Gosh, how'd that happen? Maybe you should lay off the cream puffs…" she said this in a completely thoughtful tone, which made Ashlynn laugh even harder. Kenny shot a glare at her. "I'll go get something to wipe it off with," Leti added, jogging away.

Ashlynn picked up a chip and started moving it to Kenny's guacamole stained face, who slapped his forehead in response, and walked away grumbling.

"Well, looks like the challenge is on…" Ashlynn mused. She glanced at the broken table and frowned. "Damn it, now there's no guacamole left…"

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"How'd you end up in there?" Leo asked Laura skeptically, as he glanced at the queen bee placed in the dunking tank.

"Don't ask," Laura growled, her teeth clenched. She turned to the numerous campers lined up to try to knock her in the (probably VERY cold) water. "Okay!" She hollered. "Which one of you weaklings is going first?"

"I'll go," Hunter offered, stepping forward and tossing a tennis ball around in his hands. "I figure you could be--"

"Knocked down a peg," Laura and the other campers finished monotonously in unison, as Laura gestured to the peg-like seat she was sitting while rolling her eyes.

"Fine, fine. Finish my hilarious jokes, why don't you…" Hunter grumbled as he wound his arm back, and fired a shot at the dunking tank's target. He missed, and Laura blew a raspberry at him.

"Is that the best you got?" Laura taunted.

"Don't start a challenge now, Laura," Doe laughed. "Effie can get pretty stubborn."

"Thankfully, I'm preoccupied with finding out what alien life forms are inside this tiny habitat of theirs!" Effie proclaimed firmly, attempting to rip the tennis ball open.

"Effie, I don't think--" Rachel started, but Thomas interrupted her.

"Maybe you should just let her do her thing," Thomas suggested, laughing. The ousted campers continued to unsuccessfully chuck tennis balls at the dunking tank's target, irritated at their failure. Meanwhile, Doe slunk back to talk to the Effie, who was still trying to search for little green men on her little green ball.

"Effie, you've got to keep an eye out!" The brunette warned. "We want to make sure we find the crasher before Ashlynn or Kenny does…"

"_Tome um comprimido frio_!" Effie complained.

"What?" Doe asked dubiously.

"Take a chill pill…in Portuguese!"

"Oh. Why Portuguese?"

"I dunno. Anyhow, nothing's really happened so far, y'know? I mean, besides Kenny's guacamole face. No one's gotten hurt!"

"Well…besides Kenny's dignity!" Doe laughed.

"Yup!" Effie agreed, winking. "Come on, what's the worst that could happ--"

"NO!" Doe wailed. "Effie, don't say that!"

"Why?" Effie questioned, tilting her head to one side in confusion.

"You NEVER say that on a reality show!" Doe groaned. To prove Doe's point, in just a matter of seconds, a piercing scream made them turn around. Laura was scrambling out of the dunking tank, her hair bright green and several piranhas chomping after her.

"Great…" Doe sighed.

"Who filled the tank with green dye and piranhas?" Effie asked out loud, rubbing her head in confusion and wondering how she and Doe somehow managed to miss someone doing that.

"Wasn't me!" Charity, the one to make the shot, said quickly. Doe narrowed her eyes at the Goth suspiciously.

"Don't look at her like that," Allister said irritably, as her wrapped a protective arm around Charity's shoulders. Doe looked away politely, but her face still looked wary.

"Hey…" Kevin said in a concerned tone as he walked up to Doe. "You okay?"

"Yeah," replied Doe weakly. "Just a little…um…"

"Nervous?" Kevin guessed. He smiled. "That's okay. Hey, at least it was Laura to take the fall. And hey, you gotta admit it was kind of funny!" Doe laughed, and Laura stomped over to them, snarling.

"It was NOT funny!" She shrieked. "Not, not, NOT! NOT funny at all! Absolutely NOT!"

"I think she's trying to tell us something…" Doe mused sarcastically, nudging Kevin with a wink.

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"Hey, are you a little worried?" Raphael asked Warren as the two continued playing the Wii game 'Super Smash Bros Brawl' on the gigantic TV the party had. "This is pretty much the only place that hasn't been screwed up in some way yet."

"It'll be fine," Warren replied dismissively. "Not stop talking or you'll get yourself killed."

"I have more lives than you do…" Raphael grumbled.

"Well, at least I'm not playing the dude with hair like a chick…" Warren grumbled back. Unbeknownst to the two boys, another camper sat down beside them and started playing as well, but the boys were already so into their game they didn't notice. The three of them, completely zoned in the game, continued playing their long match.

"Unbelievable!" Warren shouted, throwing his controller on the ground in aggravation once the match was finally over. "We both got killed by…by Jigglypuff!"

"Curse that pink menace…" Raphael sighed. "How'd we get killed by a computer player?" The two boys finally came aware of the camper sitting next to them.

"Leti!" Warren exclaimed, surprised. He slapped his forehead. "Please don't tell me that was you that just won."

"Hm…" Leti murmured, tapping her chin and sounding honestly confused. "I think it was."

The two boys exchanged glances in disbelief. To top it all off, the TV began to tick mysteriously, and before they had a chance, the TV blew up in a relatively mild explosion that sent the three of them flying to the ground with charred clothes and hair.

"Guys!" Ashlynn yelled from elsewhere, taking off in a sprint towards the grounded trio. Kenny was running right behind her.

"What happened?!" Kenny asked.

"Ticking TV…" Warren groaned. "The TV went kablam…now we're here…"

"I hate my life," Raphael added, groaning as well.

"That's the spirit!" Leti cheered, oblivious as ever.

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"Chris!" Kenny shouted, stomping towards the sadistic host who was relaxing on a lawn chair near the still broken snack table. "Can't we tell these campers what's going on _now_?"

"No can do buddy!" Chris replied. "It's against the rules!"

"I think they're suspicious…" Kenny hinted, rolling his eyes.

"Oh come on," Chris scoffed. "Nothing _that_ suspicious has happened yet."

"The TV just spontaneously combusted, Chris."

"Oh…well…either way, it's still against the rules! Now, stop talking to me and find that crasher!"

Kenny decided to hold his tongue, and reluctantly walked back to the party before invincibility was received before him.

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Rosetta walked throughout the falling-apart-at-the-seams party, feeling both confused and irritated. She spun around another corner, and ran straight into Effie.

"Ow!" Rosetta groaned, rubbing her nose. "Eh…sorry about that, Effie." The fourteenth-place contestant stood up, to face both Effie and not surprisingly, Doe.

"Hi!" Effie greeted, jumping up and down from either nervousness or excitement. "Um…has anything else really weird happened lately?"

"Well the TV just blew up," Rosetta said casually, as if discussing the weather. "Other then that…nothing that I know of. Why do you ask?"

"Just curious," Doe lied. "Since everything's been all strange around here! Say, where's Riley?" Rosetta shrugged.

"I'm not sure," she replied. "He was here earlier, and then he told me he had to do something important." Doe and Effie exchanged excited glances, sure that they had their crasher.

"Yes!" Effie squealed, tackling to the ground Rosetta in a classic Effie style bear hug. "Thank you so, so, SO much! You rock!"

"Please get off of me…" was Rosetta's only reply.

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"Are you sure to want to do this?" Charity asked Allister, her eyes widening in fear.

"I…I have to…" Allister sighed back sadly. "If I don't make it back…remember me."

"You don't have to do this!" Charity cried.

"I'm sorry…but I'm really hungry," Allister confided. The two were still debating whether or not to risk eating anything at the snack table, due to fear it might be poisoned, or spiked with whatever else Chris could happen to find. Dramatically, Allister reached for a slice of chocolate cake. With Charity watching, her mouth agape, Allister finally took a bite of it.

"Huh," he said after a few moments. "Not bad." He then paled, and took off sprinting to the bathroom. Charity glared at the cake.

"This is your entire fault," she accused, pointing a finger at the cake.

"Why are you talking to inanimate objects?" Ashlynn asked, walking up the Goth and resting an elbow on her table. Charity sighed.

"Laxatives I presume," the Goth replied. "Allister took a bite. In retrospect, it was definitely not a smart move."

"I'd assume so," Ashlynn laughed. "Is he okay?"

"He should be. Hopefully. Maybe."

"Great, all the other food is probably messed with too…" Ashlynn mumbled to herself.

"Y'know…" Charity said slowly. "We're not that stupid. What challenge is going on right now?"

"Challenge?" Ashlynn squeaked back nervously. "What challenge? There's no challenge? Eh heh heh…"

"Whatever floats your boat," Charity laughed. "Whatever's going on…hopefully it will be over soon. There have been other difficulties as well."

"Did I miss something?" Ashlynn asked.

"Well, Trogdor was set loose…" Charity mused, gesturing towards the chaotic scene nearby where Trogdor was chasing Rachel, Thomas, and John around in a gigantic circle.

"Oh," Ashlynn sighed. "I'm gonna head before things get out of hand."

"They already have, Ash," Charity chuckled. "You're a little too late for _that_."

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Meanwhile, near the far dark corner of the party, an innocent looking blonde stood, holding an empty bottle of green dye and a box of laxatives. She pushed up her glasses slightly and then began to laugh in an insanely evil manner, dramatic lightning flashing in the background to set the mood.

"Satine!" Leti gasped, appearing into the scene. The dramatic background disappeared, and Satine frantically hid the evidence of the crime behind her back, sweating nervously. "Hey Satine, do you have any idea who might've put laxatives in the chocolate cake, and all that other stuff…?" Leti questioned.

"Um…no?"

"Oh," Leti mused. "Okay then! Bye!" Leti ran off, leaving Satine to once again resume her evil laughter.

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"AHA!" Effie roared, tackling Riley to the ground. She and Doe had run all over Wawanakwa, searching for the redhead who they were sure was the culprit. They finally found him on the beach.

Fireworks flew out of Riley's hands all the way into the lake as Effie pinned him down.

"Ladies…" Riley greeted, raising an eyebrow. "Am I missing something here? And may I add, why the hell did you have to just tackle me to the ground?!"

"Give it up Riley!" Doe replied, her hands on her hips. "We know you're the party crasher! Tell everyone and we won't have to hurt you!"

"Still…confused…what on Earth are you talking about?" Riley grumbled.

"Rosetta said you had to go do 'something important'…" Effie told him, narrowing her eyes. "You're _obviously_ the mastermind! I mean, that's obviously… very…incriminating evidence…" she trailed off, starting to see some flaws in their logic.

"You're right," Riley remarked, squirming out of Effie's pin onto a squat on the beach. "I _was_ doing something important. Unfortunately, you knocked it into the lake."

"The fireworks?" Doe asked. "What, planning to blow something up?"

"No. I was going to put a firework display on for Rosetta. It's our three-week anniversary," Riley sighed. Doe and Effie smiled sheepishly.

"Oh…" Effie said slowly, finally standing up. "Whoops. We were kind of sure you were…er…"

"Aw crap!" Doe exclaimed suddenly. "We told him, and he isn't the crasher, so that means we're out!"

"I have no idea what you're talking about. But, instead of questioning further, I'm going to leave now and _pretend _I knew what you were talking about. Later!" Riley jogged off, confused but thankfully having a backup plan for his gift to Rosetta.

"Well…" Doe mused. "If it's not Riley, who do you think it is?"

"Maybe it's Chuck Norris!" Effie cried, punching a fist in the air. Doe laughed.

"I was serious…" Effie whined, crossing her arms.

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Kenny leaned against the edge of the dunking tank, closing his eyes and sighing. It had been long enough—he was just about ready to give up.

"Hey there!" A familiar voice greeted. Kenny opened his eyes to see Satine standing in front of him. "Why the long face?"

"Ah, to be honest, I can't tell you…" Kenny mumbled. Satine nodded, since she actually _did_ understand. "Where have you been the whole party, anyways?"

"Just hanging by the beach, stuff like that," Satine lied instantly. "I'm not too fond of parties, really. Too loud and noisy…"

"I hear you there," Kenny agreed. "This party is as crazy as a hyena hyped up on sugar." He paused. "Thankfully Ashlynn didn't hear me say that…"

"So, where is everybody?" Satine asked, who much to Kenny's relief, avoided any easy shots at the cheesy simile.

"Most are in the bathrooms…" Kenny replied, closing his eyes once again. "It's kind of a disaster in there, really…"

"Laxatives will do that to you," Satine sighed. Kenny nodded slightly, but then his eyes flew open.

"You said you weren't here for the whole party…but I never said anything about laxatives," he said slowly. Satine paled.

"Yes you did."

"No, I didn't."

"Yes you did!"

"No I didn't!"

"I can do this all day, Kenny…"

Kenny narrowed his eyes.

"Well, forget that then. I'll be needing this," he muttered, swiping Satine's handbag before she had time to object. He ran off, yelling at the top of his lungs for everyone's attention.

"Game over," Satine sighed, slapping her forehead. "I knew the laxatives were overkill…"

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"Alright, everyone!" Kenny shouted on the stage, waving his arms so that everyone would quiet down. Everyone managed to make it back to the stage—including Doe, Effie, Riley, and Rosetta—who was blushing and now wearing a very familiar redhead's treasured goggle headband around her neck. Leti was standing besides Kenny on the stage.

"As you might've noticed…" Kenny continued. "This party wasn't as innocent as we led it off to be."

"We figured that out a long time ago," Allister sighed.

"I digress. There was one person, albeit one forced person, behind the chaos. Now, if you pay attention to the evidence here…" Kenny trailed off as Leti whispered something in his ear. "No, Leti," Kenny sighed. "I will not put on a Sherlock Holmes outfit." Leti frowned, and whispered something else in Kenny's ear. "I don't even know how to speak in a British accent, Leti. Can I continue?"

"Oh fine, joy kill…" Leti teased, rolling her eyes and smiling.

"Continuing! If you look in this bag, this bag that is clearly none other than Satine's…" Satine smiled sheepishly as she was given glares by the majority of the campers. "You'll see an empty green dye bottle, a laxative box, and a 'How-to-train-piranhas' pamphlet. I think that's evidence enough."

"Sure is!" Chris agreed, walking on the stage. "And, ladies and gentleman…Kenny has won invincibility! Now, Doe, Effie, and Ashlynn are up for elimination! But they're not voting against each other, no…you ousted campers will be doing that!"

"Well that's not much of a twist," Ashlynn criticized.

"It's the best we got!" Chris whined. "Now, all you losers, go vote off someone right…now!" The eighteen ousted campers ran to the confessional immediately.

**Confessional Cam: We're back. And we haven't exploded yet! Hip-hip-hooray!**

"There was no way I was going to let Doe get the kick," Kevin said quickly. "And I didn't want to vote off her friend."

Buzz.

"I'm worried Doe will have enough votes to stay on, so the only logical person was Effie," Raphael told the camera.

Buzz.

"My shoulders are bruised, Effie," Riley grumbled.

Buzz.

"Wasn't this so sweet of Riley?" Rosetta asked dreamily, tapping her goggles with a goofy grin. "Oh right. Elimination…er…"

Buzz.

"I don't feel so good…" The still-charred Warren whimpered.

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"Hello, three of the final four!" Chris greeted the ladies at the campfire ceremony. "One of you will not be making it to the semifinals. So, here we go…the first marshmallow goes to Doe." Doe smiled, and received her treat. "Ladies, the final marshmallow goes to…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

Ashlynn." The brunette nodded her head once, and grabbed her treat. "Effie, time for you to walk the Dock of Shame…"

"Ah, well! It was fun, guys!" Effie proclaimed. She said nothing more, and the others stared at her with gaping mouths.

"Something wrong?" questioned the redhead.

"That…that was actually a sane thing to say…" Jade said slowly. Effie's hand flew to her forehead and she laughed.

"Oh yeah!" She laughed. She then cleared her throat, quickly shrieked—"YOU'LL NEVER GET ME ALIVE!" Ran off screen, ran back on screen, hugged Doe, and then ran back off screen yet again. Suddenly, Trogdor ran past the campers as well, and Effie hopped on his back from the Dock of Shame. The two then swam out of sight.

"This sucks…" Doe sniffled. "I'll miss you Effie!"

"_I'll miss you tooooooo_!" was the faint reply. Ashlynn patted Doe's shoulder in comfort, and Kenny smiled sadly.

"Well, it's time for the losers to head back as well!" Chris said. Sighing, the campers clambered back into the Boat of Losers, save for Raphael, Kevin, and Leti.

"Aw, Doe…" Kevin murmured, tilting Doe's head up. "You can win this all. I know you can! You're smart, and funny, and…a bunch of other amazing things…" he grinned, and the two kissed.

"Kenny!" Leti squealed, spinning the wallflower around in a hug. "Do you know how incredibly awesome you are?!"

"I know how dizzy I am…" Kenny groaned. Leti giggled, and set Kenny down. "Thanks, Leti."

"No problemo!" Leti laughed once again, wrapping her arms around her boyfriend. "Win it all, okay?"

"I'll try," Kenny chuckled.

"Work on that fainting thing, Raphael," Ashlynn teased, knocking Raphael lightly on the arm.

"No guarantees," Raphael murmured. He smiled. "Good luck Ashlynn. You know I'm rooting for you." Ashlynn blushed, and hugged Raphael.

"Thank you," she said softly. More goodbyes ensued from the three couples, and they finally boarded the Boat of Losers, which sped away back to the Playa de Losers.

"Hey," Hunter whispered on the boat, scooting towards Satine. "How'd you do that exploding TV trick, anyways?"

"Oh it wasn't too hard…anyone could do it," Satine said modestly, her face turning slightly red. "I could show you sometime…if you'd like."

"You had me at hello," Hunter laughed. Satine tilted her head, puzzled.

"I never said hello."

"Gah…sorry…" he mumbled, sheepishly rubbing the back of his head. "It's my brother's pickup lines. He's…he's not much of a ladies' man. His lines don't really work much I guess…"

Satine grinned, and leaned her head against Hunter's shoulder.

"Oh, I'm not too sure about that."

**The overall tally was…**

Effie: Eight votes (Raphael, Rosetta, Riley, Leo, Leti, Satine, Jade, Hunter)

Doe: Four votes (Joel, Alice, Allister, Laura)

Ashlynn: Six votes (Kevin, Thomas, Warren, John, Rachel, Charity)

**(A.N.) This chapter has been brought to you by The Offspring's 'You're Gonna Go Far, Kid' which is now officially the best song in the world. Period.**

**Anyways…sorry for the long wait! And, I switched challenges halfway through, so the 'preview' for this chapter no longer fits. Just goes to show how indecisive I am. Heh. Hopefully this chapter met up to standards.**

**Apologies to CaptJessicaSparrow for kicking off Effie, but don't worry—she'll return! **

**So, we're down to the final three…**

**Who's gonna win? You'll have to wait and see! ^^**

**Thanks for taking the time to read this, and have an awesome day!**

**(EDIT): Oh yeah...forgot to mention it...Goddess of Power (creator of Doe) actually wants to do the sequel FOR me. XD So, if you have any questions about it...ask her, not me. Thanks again, GoP!**


	27. Meet the Losers, Again

**(Semifinals, final three, second-to-last episode, whatever it is…let's get this show on the road!)**

"Last time, on Total…Drama…Island!" Chris started, narrating what was probably already known by the readers. "The final four hosted a party for all the losers…who for some reason didn't realize that they were being tricked for the millionth time. But anyways, what started as a night to remember turned into a nightmare that included blowups and the numerous screw-ups we love so much."

"In the end, it was Effie voted off. Now, we're down to the final three! All three of them brunettes, and…all three of them girls!"

"That was _uncalled for!_" Kenny accused from the distance, shaking a fist at the host. Chris snickered, and continued.

"Find out who makes it to the finals tonight, on the most dramatic campfire ceremony yet, on Total…Drama…Island!"

And with that…the semifinals were on.

**------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------**

The air of Wawanakwa hung thick with lethargy. Nobody had really bothered to clean up the party supplies, so the three final campers were lucky enough to half to deal with everything—the charred remains of what once was a TV, a tipped over dunking tank, and the still unclean bathrooms from the laxative... "accident". It had only been a day, but everyone was already missing Effie—even Ashlynn and Kenny, although not quite as much as Doe.

"I'm _bored…_" she groaned, her head now officially acquainted with the mess hall table.

"Effie's only been gone for a night," Ashlynn reminded her amiably. "And she's coming back." Doe clunked her head on the table once again, sniffling to herself.

"She _was_ pretty fun," Kenny agreed, sighing. "And so was Raphael, and Leti, and Allister…" the wallflower began sniffling as well.

"Oh come on guys!" Ashlynn said quickly. "I mean we'll be able to see all our friends again really soon! Raphael and Kevin and--"

"KEVIN!" Doe bawled. "I miss you Kevin!"

"_Leti_!" Kenny bawled as well. The two lovesick brunettes cried in unison, leaving Ashlynn awkwardly waiting for them to stop. Minutes passed, and she groaned, slapping her forehead in irritation.

(**Confession Cam: The Miss missed missing the missed)**

"I'm just not that kind of a touchy-feely person!" Ashlynn exclaimed, throwing her hands up in the air. "I mean sure, I was sad when Raphael left, but we'll see each other again sooner or later! It was kind of weird having Kenny bawling his eyes next to me, I mean, he's so emotional right now and I'm so…_not_…it's like he's the chick and I'm the dude." She paused, and rolled her eyes. "My, it seems we're all going for the 'Kenny's-a-girl' jokes today…"

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Chris finally walked through the mess hall doors, and Ashlynn smiled.

"Oh thank God," she sighed happily. "If I wasn't completely utterly ridiculously inevitably disgusted by everything about you…I might be able to hug you."

"Was that a complement?" Doe asked, giggling and finally over her outburst.

"Not likely," Kenny chuckled as well. "At any rate, I suppose it's time for the semifinals, right Chris?"

"Correct, Kenny man!" Chris replied. "You're going to see some very familiar faces today…"

"No use doing the dramatic pauses," Doe laughed. "It's all the ousted campers, we know."

"Man alive," Ashlynn chuckled. "You should just let them stay here for the rest of the competition Chris. I mean, they were here last challenge, they'll be here this challenge, and they'll be here for the finals…"

"Maybe so," Kenny remarked. "But I don't think the other nineteen contestants would be very happy if they didn't get to stay at the Playa de Losers anymore. Would you be prepared to run away from an angry mob of luxury-deprived teenagers?"

"Uh…never mind," mumbled Ashlynn. "Anyways, let's get the obvious question out of the way: What's the challenge, and how do the ex-campers fit in?"

"And the most important question of all…" Doe added dramatically. "Where's our breakfast?!"

"You really want to eat Chef's—and I'm using the word lightly--pancakes?" Kenny questioned, raising an eyebrow at the brunette. "I don't know about you guys, but I'll think I'll pass today's morning meal."

"You're skipping a lot lately," Ashlynn noted, concerned.

"Oh no!" Doe gasped, concerned as well. "Kenny, you're not becoming anorexic, are you?!" Sobbing, she tackled Kenny to the ground. "Kenny, stay strong man! You're beautiful _just the way you are_!"

"I'm not anorexic," Kenny grumbled, although it came out muffled.

"Oh," Doe mused, standing up. "How are you still alive, then?"

"I…may have…stolen the good food out of Chef's fridge once in a while…" Kenny said with a sheepish smile.

"Chef has _good_ food?" Ashlynn questioned, her jaw dropping in surprise.

"I heard that!" Chef growled from inside the kitchen, chucking a frying pan outside the door above Ashlynn's head. Doe nudged Kenny with her elbow.

"Have any food hidden somewhere?" She asked hopefully.

"Yeah, I have a stash under my bed," the wallflower admitted. "I can give you some if you'd like. Ashlynn, would you like me to come to?"

"Yeah!" Ashlynn agreed, grinning. The three began making their way outside, but Chris went in front of them, blocking their way.

"Not so fast!" The host grumbled. "Did you even notice I was still in the room, talking about the semifinals?"

"We were kind of hoping if we'd ignore you, you'd go away," Ashlynn explained sarcastically.

"No such luck. Get your butts in gear to the gym and move!" Chris ordered.

"That was harsh," Doe complained. "What, did Chef give you a crash course on yelling-at-teenagers?"

"I'm still in here, ya know!" Chef growled from the kitchen.

"Case in point," Kenny muttered to himself, exiting the double-doors at the mess hall. Ashlynn and Doe followed, wondering what the ex-campers would have in store for them.

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"They're not even here yet!" Ashlynn exclaimed, as soon as she and the other two finalists were in the familiar gym, one that thankfully had been cleared of all signs of lasers.

"Well, Chef still has to pick them up," Chris explained. "Now, if you'd move your way to the other side of the gym…" The campers glanced at each other, shrugged, and did as they were told.

Kenny, Ashlynn, and Doe stopped once they were in front of three longs paths that went to both sides of the gym. Each path was made up of twenty squares, and each square was pitch black.

"We're playing…hopscotch…" Doe said slowly.

"Oh great," Ashlynn groaned. "Why not just add jump rope too, if we're recreating our elementary childhood? We could all play patty cake and gossip about boys we think have cooties."

"Oh, the memories," Kenny mused. "I always did wonder what our lunch ladies put in those meals of ours…"

"Enough nostalgia!" Chris complained. "This is _not_ hopscotch."

"So…" Doe pressed. "What _is_ it?"

"Well…" Chris paused, much to the major annoyance of the contestants. "Aha. Here he comes." On cue, Chef walked through the main door of the gym up to Chris. Chef nodded once without saying anything, and grinning, Chris clapped his hands together.

At the sound of the clap, a light flashed to the side of the three contestants' paths. It showed a long table with, oddly enough, _twenty_ previously unseen chairs in front of nineteen doors.

Chris clapped his hands yet again, and a jazzy recording started playing.

"What's with this swanky music?" Chef asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Oh you know those ex-campers," Chris sighed with a dismissive wave of his hand. "Always wanting a fancy entrance."

Then, the nineteen kicked off campers came in sight through their doors. They took their seats, sitting in the order they had been voted off.

"Effie! Kevin!" Doe squealed, jumping up and down but not leaving her place. "Hey!"

"Helloooo my ninja kumquat apprentice!" Effie shouted, waving her hand to Doe rapidly.

"Hey sweetie!" Kevin greeted, grinning. Ashlynn and Kenny greeted all their friends as well.

"Uh…do _you_ guys know what we're doing?" Kenny questioned after some time.

"Yes," Leti replied. "Err…" she scratched her head. "No. Not really."

"I'm not surprised," Ashlynn laughed. "So, Chris, _now_ can you tell all of us what we're doing?"

"Despite what Leti said, we _do_ know what we're doing," Raphael replied, speaking up before Chris could, much to the host's chagrin. "It's basically another dare challenge, except we're here…and you aren't daring each other. All of you are performing the same task all at once. The winner of the task gets a point. At the end of the day, the person with the least amount of points walks the Dock of Shame…"

"Catches the Boat of Losers…" Jade added, rolling her eyes and blowing a strand of hair out of her face.

"And never comes back," Alice chimed in.

"Until the next episode, that is," Riley added, grinning.

"On the most dramatic episode of TDI yet…" Thomas continued.

"Of Total!" Rachel exclaimed.

"Drama!" Charity continued.

"Island!" Allister finished, waving his hands in mock excitement.

**(Confession Cam: With a capital 'C'? Kapow! We're a proper noun, baby!)**

"I think I should be insulted," Chris muttered.

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"Well!" Chris shouted, exasperated. "Anything _else_ you'd like to give away?"

"I've got one," Warren spoke up. "The challenges are worth different points; the squares will tell you how much it's worth before you perform the challenge. There you go Chris, feel free to continue."

"Glad to hear it," Chris grumbled. "Let's get this show on the road. Ashlynn, Doe, Kenny…take a step onto that first black square." The final three did as they were told. As soon as their feet touched the square, it lit up to show the letter 'J', and then switched into the indication that the challenge was worth two points.

"Wait," Doe said, confused, facing the twin sitting in the very first seat. "So you _are_ Joel?"

"Of course," Joel replied, slapping his forehead. "Hello, conspiracy, ring a bell?"

"Right, right," Doe mumbled, nodding. "It's just that Alice is staring at Leo all dreamy-like…"

"Alice!" exclaimed the disgruntled twin, scowling at the Australian. "That's Leo, you ding-dong, not me!"

"What?" Alice questioned, surprised. "Oh! Whoops. Sorry. You guys _are_ twins after all…" she snapped her fingers together. "I got it!" Whipping out a sharpie, she proceeded to scribble all over Leo's face. "That should do it."

"O-kay…" Chris said slowly. "Anyways…final three, you remember that fateful call that proved Joel and Leo's conspiracy to be true?"

"Hard to forget," Ashlynn replied, along with a nodding Kenny.

"So, Joel, tell them what your task is…"

Joel grinned.

"Gladly. There's a small, closed off room connected to the gym on the upper right hand corner. In there, is a cell phone put on speakerphone. You have to find it. Simple. The cell phone might…annoy you a little though."

**(Confession Cam: We even have parentheses now. We should be proud.)**

"Hoo boy," Doe whimpered. "Rosetta told me about that time she had to listen to Jo—I mean, Leo belt love songs on that crazy train to try and get Chef's attention. Let's hope bad singing doesn't run in the family."

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Eyeing each other, the final three campers trudged to the aforementioned disclosed room not too far off. Once they were inside, Chris shut the door on them.

"Where are the lights?" Kenny questioned, stumbling in the blackness of the room. The three closed in teens searched for any sign of a light switch, but to no avail.

"I have the feeling I am going to hate this challenge," Ashlynn muttered.

_"I have the feeling you're right,"_ Joel's voice replied via cell phone speaker. Upon hearing this, the contestants sprang on their feet, searching for the source of the noise.

Minutes passed, but the campers were having trouble thanks to the whole 'pitch-black-surroundings-and-getting-annoyed-out-of-their-minds' factor.

_"Hotter…no…colder…man, you guys suck at this!"_ proclaimed the very evil twin, taunting them for the millionth time. A few seconds went by, until he started humming the Jeopardy theme song in a very high-pitched and relatively annoying tone.

"Argh!" Kenny groaned, throwing his hands up in the air and accidentally hitting Ashlynn in the face as a result. Ashlynn yelped and threw her hands out to the ground. Upon doing so, she felt a hole in the ground, big enough for her hands to slide through. Curious, she felt around the secret compartment, until finally she found the needed electronic device.

The light from the phone illuminated the room to show the two surprised faces of Doe and Kenny.

"So," Doe mused, after some time. "You gonna snap that thing in half, or what?"

"No," Ashlynn replied. "I'm going to drag Joel to the Thousand Foot Cliff, throw his phone off, and then throw _him_ off."

She wasn't joking.

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As a very wet and angry Joel slid into his seat and Chris gave Ashlynn a point on the scoreboard, Satine began fidgeting excitedly for her turn to start. The campers stepped forward on their electronic path, where resultantly an 'S' popped up for a brief second, until it was then replaced by the words—'Five points'.

"Already?" questioned Satine, raising an eyebrow. She turned to the three campers ahead of her. "You guys know what that means, right?"

"We get five points for this challenge if we win," Ashlynn said dully. Satine nodded, and Ashlynn rolled her eyes. "Shocker."

"What's your challenge, Satine?" Doe asked, both curious and impatient.

"Follow me outside," Satine instructed, hopping out of her seat and beginning to exit the gym. "Oh, and Chris," the blonde turned to the host. "Should they be wearing helmets?"

"Nah," Chris assured her. "It won't hurt _too_ badly."

"Well that's a lovely cliffhanger," Kenny sighed. "I don't suppose you'll be giving away anything else."

"Of course not," Satine replied, grinning impishly. "You just might want to watch your head, Mr. Tattletale."

**(Confession Cam: Mixing business with head injuries.)**

"Oh great," Kenny groaned. "She just had to bring that back up, didn't she? It was just a challenge…"

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The campers trailed behind Satine and Chris all the way up to a large tree near the mess hall. Upon eyeing Satine with confusion, the blonde simply instructed for them to climb it.

The three contestants did as they were told, edging out on an outstretched branch.

"Alright!" Satine exclaimed, waving her hands for the campers' attention. "Now, you have to hang by your hands!"

"Is that it?" Kenny scoffed, lowering himself till he was hanging from the branch. Doe and Ashlynn did the same.

"'Is that it'?" Chris repeated, unsuccessfully holding back laughter. "'Is that it'?" He went into a hysterical fit of laughter.

"I'm guessing that's a no," Doe whispered to Kenny. Proving her point, Chef walked up to Chris, wheeling a familiar cannon behind him.

"You're going to shoot cannon balls at as?!" Ashlynn hollered. She'd wave her arms in frantic disbelief if she could. "Oh come on, does this show have no legal boundaries?"

"Don't worry!" Satine shouted back at her. "We're not shooting cannon balls at you!"

"Oh," replied Ashlynn. "I guess that's okay th--" She was cut off when a squirrel whapped her in the forehead, making her fall right off the branch.

"What gives?" She growled, glaring at Satine. "I thought you said you weren't going to shoot!"

"I said we weren't going to shoot _cannon balls_ at you," corrected Satine. "Luckily we have other means of cannon fodder."

"Like this guy!" Chris agreed, grabbing John (who had conveniently popped out of nowhere) by the scruff of the collar and placing him in the cannon.

"Oh har har," grumbled the much ignored teen sarcastically. "I'm cannon fodder for the cannon, and I'm cannon fodder for the story…very clever." Ignoring him, Chris shot the blonde in the cannon, where he proceeded to holler like a nervous maniac, accidentally knock Doe off the tree, and landed on her on the ground.

"Get your own girlfriend!" Kevin shouted, also appearing out of nowhere and now chasing a running-for-his-life John away from the surprised brunette.

"Well…that leaves Kenny as the winner!" Satine announced, saluting the wallflower who smiled and dropped his grip from the tree, which was meant to be smooth, despite the fact that he landed on his head.

"Ow…" he groaned. "Next challenge, please."

"If you say so!" Chris replied cheerfully. "The score is Kenny with five points and Ashlynn with one. Doe, you gotta catch up!"

"I'm not sure who to be more scared for…" Doe sighed. "Me, or John." The brunette gestured to John, who was still being chased away by Kevin in the distance.

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"Alright guys," Warren mused, straightening his tie. "Ready for my challenge?"

"You bet!" Doe cried, punching a fist in the air. The three campers took a step forward, where the letter W flashed once, and then switched to the words—three points.

"Okay, so, my challenge is…story time…" Warren said, pausing dramatically.

"That doesn't sound too hard," Kenny remarked, smiling. Warren grinned.

"You didn't let me finish. It's story time…with Chef." Collective horrified gasps ensued from the final three.

**(Confession Cam: A story in itself)**

"Oh come on!" Ashlynn moaned. "Not the war stories! Anything but the war stories!" She slapped her forehead, and slumped in her seat, groaning. "I don't know whether to cry, scream, or run for my life!"

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Slowly, dreadfully, the three campers made there way to the mess hall, where Chef was already waiting with a diary in hand.

"Here are the rules," Warren said simply. "If you fall asleep or leave the room…you're out. And that's all." With that, he bowed once, grinned yet again, and exited the room.

The final three gulped, and sat down cross-legged in front of Chef in fear. Chef cleared his throat, and began.

"It was dark…" said he. "Very, very, very, very, very, very dark…very, very--"

"ARGH!" Ashlynn shouted, running out of sight in a matter of seconds. Chef raised an eyebrow, turned to both Kenny and Doe, and continued.

"Twenty-five of us came into the forest that night…only five came back out."

Their eyes were twitching; they were clenching their fists, and glancing at each other nervously. Around the fifteenth page of Chef's diary, Chef had to avert his eyes from his writings when he heard a girly scream. He glanced at who was in front of him—it was only Doe.

"Was that your girly scream?" questioned the burly one.

"No," she replied. "That was Kenny."

**(Confession Cam: Unfunny in highest degree)**

"Oh for the love of God…" Kenny sighed. "I move from being the butt of all the slapstick jokes to being the butt of an even _more_ annoying running gag. At least this one isn't too painful…" he sniffled. "On the outside…"

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The final three sat on the same third panel of the pathway back in the gym, shivering and clenching their teeth. Chris chuckled once, and then wrote on the scoreboard that now Ashlynn had one point, Doe had three, and Kenny had a whopping five.

Reluctantly, the three amigos hopped up and took a step forward, where, of course, a J flashed and then was replaced with the picture of a plus and minus.

"Okay, so what does that mean?" Ashlynn questioned curiously.

"It means," Jade spoke up. "That if you win, you get a point. If you don't win, you lose a point."

"There are challenges that make you lose points?" Kenny asked dubiously. "Aw man, that sucks."

"It's only one point," Jade reminded him pleasantly. "Anyways, here's my challenge. You three, go sit on any of those chairs over there." The Goth gestured to three plain old wooden chairs on one side of the gym. Sensing no possible danger here, yet still somewhat frightened, the three took their seats.

Jade walked over to them, smiling. However, since the young Goth was almost always in a sour mood, this one small thing freaked out the contestants even more.

"Oh, don't give me that look," sighed the Goth. "Alright, here's my challenge. You have to put on a stone face, basically. If I, or anything, or anyone, makes you laugh while we're doing this challenge, you're out." She abruptly spun sharply on her heal, her back facing the contestants. "Hm…how should we go about doing this…?"

She turned around yet again, and faced Doe. Slowly, the Goth leaned towards the brunette.

"Pudding," said Jade, quite articulately. Doe immediately laughed out loud, and ended up falling out of her chair. "Well that was easy," Jade chuckled, mildly surprised. She glanced at the other two—Ashlynn and Kenny. "Hm…now then. I'm not one for jokes, so I'm gonna get a volunteer for this one. Leo?" The not-quite-as-intelligent twin hopped out of his chair excitedly, and skipped towards Jade.

"Alright, and I'm gonna need a prop," Jade continued. "Chef?" Chef nodded knowingly, and dropped something into Jade's hand, which she immediately hid behind her back so that the others couldn't see it.

Then, Jade whapped Leo in the head with a frying pan, making him fall over.

"YORGIE SCHMORGIE!" yelped the twin, clutching his head. Kenny tried to stifle his laughter, but to no avail. Ashlynn smirked, but did no more.

"It never fails," Jade said smugly. "Anyways, looks like you win, Ash."

"Great! I'm up to two, Kenny's back to four, and Doe's down to two as well," Ashlynn mused. "Alright Leo, what do you have?"

"A possible concussion…" the teen whimpered.

"No, I meant your challenge," Ashlynn told him. Leo stood up.

"Oh, right. Ugh…um…just a sec…" he went back to his seat, picked up some notes, and sighed yet again. Ashlynn, Doe, and Kenny went back to their paths, and took a step forwards to reveal that Leo's challenge was worth one measly point.

"Is it that bad?" Doe questioned, laughing.

"No!" Leo whined, crossing his arms in indignation. "At least, I didn't think so…"

"But it is," Joel assured the trio, rolling his eyes at his less intelligent brother. "You know those proper princess movies where the fancy girls have to walk around with books on their heads?"

"Yeah…?" Kenny questioned, unsure where this was going.

"That's his challenge. He just finished watching the _Princess Diaries_ movies."

"It's true," Leo admitted sheepishly. The campers raised eyebrows, and then let out yelps in unison as Chris dropped dictionaries on their heads from behind. Kenny stumbled down almost immediately, leaving Doe and Ashlynn wobbling for balance. Ashlynn got an idea in her head though, and although she felt guilty upon doing so, she stuck her foot out and tripped Doe.

"Sorry!" Ashlynn exclaimed guiltily as she helped the brunette up. "Really, really, sorry!"

"S'okay," Doe replied, cracking her neck. She winked at her fellow brunette. "Ya better watch your back though!"

"It won't be that easy to beat me," Ashlynn warned. The two girls grinned at each other.

**(Confession Cam: Someday, someday we'll meet a Ms. Confession Cam…)**

"Ashlynn is pretty cool," admitted Doe. "But awesomeness or not, she's still competition! Tough competition, at that. Kenny's one brave little dude too. Honestly, I'm a little glad Effie's not actually in the competition anymore. Of course, I love her to death, but it would be like, _so_ hard to half to conspire against _her_! It's like…" she tapped her chin in thought. "It's like…making a chocolate bar be eaten…by someone who's allergic to chocolate!"

Confident in her simile abilities, she crossed her arms and nodded knowingly.

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"My turn!" Alice cackled from her seat. The three contestants shrugged, and stepped onto the sixth square in the path, where the A popped up, along with the indication that this challenge was worth three points.

"This is a challenge I like to call Target Practice," Alice told the campers, putting her hands behind her had. "Follow me outside if ya will, mates!"

Doe, Kenny, and Ashlynn did so, and walked behind Alice all the way to the back of the gym, where three thick trees with targets painted on them were close by. The Australian one began rummaging through a sack that had been on her back, until she pulled out three boomerangs.

"Here's how this'll work," she instructed, directing each camper to their tree, a good distance away from the tree and apart from each other. "Standing where you are, you have to throw those boomerangs where they'll be lodged in the tree deep enough that they won't just come straight back to you! Now, if you don't do this quick enough, there will be consequences…"

"Like wha--" Kenny began to question, that is, before his boomerang exploded, sending him flying through the wall of the gym, shocked and singed.

"The pain!" The wallflower wailed in the distance.

"Ooo…" Alice grimaced, rubbing her shoulder. "That wasn't supposed to happen…" She turned to the two girls, who were once again left against each other. They eyed each other, before frantically starting to throw their boomerang towards the tree.

"I didn't say go…" Alice reminded them faintly, knowing that the girls were probably going to ignore her either way. Eventually, Doe managed to lodge her boomerang in her tree, where Alice proceeded to shut the boomerang off, and thankfully Ashlynn's as well.

"Well that was a barrel of fun," Ashlynn muttered sarcastically. "I can't wait to see what Hunter has in store for us."

Hunter's wasn't very much fun, either.

Riding skateboards flat on their stomachs, the three campers rode down on one of Wawanakwa's hills, avoiding obstacles on their way. Kenny was able to make it to the bottom first, scoring him a well earned two points.

"Dude!" Hunter exclaimed at the wallflower, who had gotten up dizzily and stumbled over to the skater boy with a weak grin. "That was awesome!"

"Can I go pass out somewhere now…?" Kenny asked drowsily.

"Nope!" Hunter replied, still cheerful.

John, the resident punching bag, had his turn skipped due to some unexplained injuries. No one really thought his challenge would very good, anyways.

The campers stepped forwards on their path to the ninth square, and Rosetta leaned up, excited. The square flashed from an R to the warning that this challenge was worth four points.

"Oh this'll be a blast," Rosetta said, her grin somewhat evil. "Come with me to the stage for your ninth challenge. I have a good challenge."

"Unsurprisingly," Riley chuckled, smirking at his girlfriend. "You do tend to have a mind just as devious as mine, Kitten."

"Oh trust me hotshot, we've been beat," Rosetta told Riley, crossing her arms. "Rachel is the one these guys should be afraid of. It's always the quiet ones, after all." She turned to the final three. "Anyways, let's get this party started."

She led the final three to the stage, where three wheels with hand cuffs and foot cuffs lay. The three contestants gulped, but did not fight back when Rosetta hand-and-foot-cuffed them to the spinning wheels.

"This isn't one of those knife-throwing things, is it?" Doe squeaked. "Aw man, I saw those at the circus! Talk about freaky! Please don't kill me Rosetta! I'm too young to die! This is a personal vendetta, isn't it? I'm REALLY sorry I voted you off!"

"Wait, what?!" Rosetta exclaimed, narrowing her eyes. She growled, but then shook her head. "Whatever. Now's not the time. Anyways, you can stop your hyperventilating, this isn't another target practice."

"Oh thank God!" Ashlynn groaned in relief.

"Is it something worse?" questioned Kenny in nervousness.

"Possibly," admitted Rosetta. "Basically, I'm gonna spin you on these wheels, and the last one not to throw up, wins."

"Ew," Doe mumbled, wrinkling her choice.

"Sorry," Rosetta said, shrugging. "Chris wanted me to hone in on the gross factor, somehow. We haven't had a whole lot of it in this season." Without waiting for any more possible objections, she spun the three campers on the wheels with a good dollop of strength. They all screamed in unison as they were spun around again and again and again and again and again and…you get the point.

Minutes passed, and Rosetta glanced at her watch, irritated.

Finally the wheels slowed down, and Rosetta unchained the three campers. Whimpering, they stumbled about.

"I feel…dizzy…" Kenny moaned, before finally throwing up. Doe threw up as well, and Ashlynn just clutched her stomach and moaned, before finally realizing she won. She smiled weakly, and then threw up unsurprisingly.

**(Confession Cam: Clean as something…not-clean…)**

"Thankfully, I'm not the one who has to clean that up," Rosetta muttered.

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Next was Rachel. As Rosetta had foreshadowed, the usually shy brunette had an unusually tough challenge. The three campers had to knock each other off a large high-up platform, and while they wrestled each other, parts of the platform kept breaking off.

"This seems dangerous," Chris commented. "And I love it!"

"Well, all my pacifist ideas kept getting rejected…" Rachel mumbled, red in the face. "I certainly still do not approve of this."

"Aw Rachel, you're so considerate!" Thomas gushed, hugging his brunette girlfriend. Everyone around them all aw'd, save for Laura and Chris. Doe unfortunately was aw-ing the couple as well, and was quickly pushed off by Kenny. Shortly after, Kenny was able to knock off an angry Ashlynn. The wallflower was awarded two points, and the campers moved onto their next challenge, one that would be created by Kevin.

"Anyone have a crowbar?" Ashlynn asked in a few moments' time, raising an eyebrow at Kevin and Doe, who were still kissing on the ground outside of the gym. Chris handed her the requested crowbar, and Ashlynn pried the hyperactive brunette away.

"You," said the sarcastic one, poking Kevin with the crowbar. "Tell us your challenge."

"Fine," Kevin sighed, pouting. "Mine is based on luck, and risk. See that tree right there, the one with three ropes hanging from it?"

"Sure do!" Doe chirped.

"Pulling them, swinging from them, lassoing things with them…what are the ropes for?" asked Kenny.

"You're just pulling them," Kevin confirmed. "When you do though, there are three possible outcomes—you could receive a shock, you could end up pulling Trogdor out of the tree, onto yourself, or you could pull down a bag that will dump confetti, signifying your victory! You just half to pick the rope, without looking up of course." He narrowed his eyes dramatically. "I'm watching you…"

Doe giggled, Ashlynn rolled her eyes, and Kenny just crossed his arms. Awkwardly, Kevin smiled and led them up to the ropes. Ashlynn chose the one on the right, Kenny chose the one in the middle, and Doe grabbed the left. When Kevin gave the signal, they pulled on the ropes. Kenny yelped as a shock erupted from his rope, leaving him singed yet again.

Ashlynn pulled down Trogdor, but the brunette growled at the wooly beaver just once and the beast scampered away, whimpering. Doe was bathed with bright confetti, and she squealed in excitement.

"Three points for me!" She sang, hugging Kevin. "Oh hey, we're all tied now! All three of us have eight points!"

"I can fix that," Charity told them, walking out from the back door of the gym, towards the others. "Follow me if you will—this challenge is worth four points, and isn't that far away."

The singed one, the sarcastic one, and the cheerful one followed Charity all the way to the Dock of Shame, where an extremely up high diving board was now in place on one end.

"I don't like the look of this," Kenny sighed, shaking his head.

"And you shouldn't," retaliated the Goth, grinning evilly. "This is the belly flop challenge. All you gotta do is do a belly flop, and be the last one to not scream.

"Crap!" The final three groaned in unison. Gulping, they scampered up the diving board and went off one by one. All of them landed uncomfortably, and it wasn't long till Kenny and Doe let out high-pitched screams in unison, leaving Ashlynn the winner, since she managed to suck it up.

"Alright! Good job, Ash!" Charity congratulated. "Next is Leti's, so let's head back to the gym."

"I can hardly wait," groaned Ashlynn, wobbling up the dock.

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"Man, this challenge is going on forever," Chris commented. "We still have like, eight other campers—and we're already at the seventeenth page."

"Can't we just speed things up with a montage?" Chef grumbled.

"Nah," Chris said. "I'm sure the readers are relatively curious to see what the other remaining campers have to say."

"If we still even _have_ any readers," muttered Chef.

As the two men continued to break the fourth wall repeatedly, Leti was explaining her two-point challenge to the others.

"Here's what you're gonna do!" the Hispanic one announced. "I'm gonna use Alice as help, and we're going to be spinning the jump rope for you guys. If you mess up, obviously you're out! That's simple enough, right?"

"Pretty easy too," Ashlynn whispered to Doe, nudging her with a confident smirk.

How wrong she was.

Alice and Leti spun the rope like maniacs, and by dumb luck Doe managed to stay in the longest. Then, however, she tripped as well, got tangled in the rope, and got Ashlynn and Kenny tangled in as well. Leti scratched her head, surprised and embarrassed at the hopeless mess.

"Alright," Leti said quickly, turning to the camera. "We're gonna take a commercial break, so we can go ahead and get these guys cut loose…" She went off screen, and screamed—"ALICE! GO GET THE MACHETE!"

The final three's eyes widened, and they slowly began rolling away in their circular jump rope mess in a desperate escape.

---------------------------T-T-T-TIME WARP! ------------------------------

"Thomas…" Kenny said slowly, staring at disbelief at the Jamaican's challenge. "I really was hoping you weren't this evil…"

"Sorry mon," Thomas chuckled. "Chris said no easy challenges allowed."

Thomas's challenge was for the final three to hop from dangerously slippery flotation devices from the beach, past the shark-infested waters, to the finish line, which in this case was the Boat of Losers.

As much more cool-looking as it would have been to simply jump from floatie to floatie, the three contestants did the predictable—and screamed like maniacs, waving their arms in distress. Kenny fell into the water at one point, but having a shark chase him boosted his speed, and he got into the Boat of Losers first, earning him four points. Ashlynn and Doe sighed, and patiently waited as the Boat of Losers came their direction to pick them up.

The three of them went back to the gym, so Chris could tally up the score, (Ashlynn had twelve, Kenny had twelve, and Doe had ten, for those keeping score at home.) They took their next step on their path, where it was Raphael's turn. Oddly enough though, a D showed up instead of an R on his square.

"D?" Raphael, Ashlynn, Doe, and Kenny questioned in confused unison.

"D for Debby," Riley informed them, grinning. From the ninth seat, Rosetta slapped her forehead.

"Of course," sighed Raphael, wondering how Riley managed to tamper with it in the first place. "Anyways…here's my challenge, for three points. All you need to do is stand outside the gym. However there's a boundary line a few feet out from the gym, you cannot cross that line. While you're in that area, you have to avoid water balloons that will be trying to hit you. Last one not hit wins. Easy as pie. Now, since I don't have the best arm--"

"A blatant understatement," Riley added, rolling his eyes.

"Shut _up_, Riley!" Rosetta growled, throwing a handy dodge ball at her loudmouthed boyfriend. Raphael ducked out of the way, but the dodge ball hit Riley's head, rebounded, and hit Raphael as well, much to both teenagers' annoyance.

"Right then," Raphael sighed once again, rubbing the bump on his head. He turned to his fellow ex-campers. "Who wants to help me throw water balloons at these guys?"

All hands shot up instantly, like a class of kindergartens asked if they wanted a cupcake.

"Um, okay then…" Raphael mused. "I guess all of you can come. The box of water balloons is on the roof, and there's a latter on one side of the gy--" he need not say further, for the other losing campers dashed out instantly. Raphael blinked a few times, and then exited as well.

Once the final three were outside as well, they looked up from the roof to see nineteen pairs of peering eyes.

"BOMBS AWAY!" They screamed in unison, immediately pelting Doe, Kenny, and Ashlynn with the water balloons. Eventually, Ashlynn and Kenny were hit, while Doe remained dry.

"Woo-hoo!" The optimistic one cheered, throwing her hands up in the air, only to be hit with a water balloon as well. "Oh phooey. At least I still won."

"Nice try Ashlynn!" Raphael shouted from the roof waving to his girlfriend.

"Thanks!" Ashlynn yelled back, blowing a kiss towards the shy one. Raphael turned red, but didn't faint, much to his delight.

"Hey, good job mon!" Thomas congratulated, patting the still-conscious Raphael on the back. Unfortunately, he did so a bit too hard and Raphael came toppling over to the roof, landing into Ashlynn's arms bridal-style.

"Greetings, m'lady," Ashlynn teased. Kenny turned around upon hearing this, half expecting for the joke to be on him, but sighed in relief when he saw it was Raphael instead.

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Admittedly, the final three were relatively frightened when they saw it was time for Riley's challenge.

"Hey, nothing to be ashamed of," he told them, flashing them a grin. "A good dose of fear is healthy."

"Just tell us your challenge," Ashlynn muttered.

"Fine, fine," Riley said, palms up. "Alright, originally I had one challenge in mind, but then I found out it was illegal…" at this, the final three gulped. "So now I have a different one. This is worth three points, so follow me to the mess hall roof."

Doing as they were told, they walked with Riley all the way to their destination, where then Riley handed them three baseball bats.

"Before you say anything," Riley announced. "No, this has nothing to do with vandalism." A short pause. "Or hitting each other with bats. What this is, is that you'll take those bats all the way up to the mess hall roof. From there, you'll place your forehead on the smaller end of the bat, spin around in ten circles, and then drop the bat and stand up straight."

"And last one not to fall of the roof wins," Kenny finished, realizing where this was going. "Since we'll be so dizzy we can barely see straight."

"Yup," Riley replied. "Go on up there then, what are you waiting for?"

"Just enjoying our last moments," Doe said, chuckling lightly. Grimacing, they clenched their fists around the bat and climbed up the mess hall. After ten spins, they stumbled around like drunken monkeys on the mess hall, until finally Ashlynn and Kenny tumbled down, leaving Doe once again to be the winner.

"Yeah!" Doe cheered, only to unsurprisingly topple over as well. "Why am I not surprised…?" she groaned from the floor of the mess hall.

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"Now," Allister said, straightening his back. "This challenge is only worth two points, but personally, this has always been the most frightening torture I could ever perceive…" The three final campers eyed each other nervously. What could he mean by that?

And in a few minutes, in one of the cabins, they got that answer.

"_I love you! You love me! We're a happy family!" _A boom-box played, accompanied with screams, head-bangs, and groans from Ashlynn, Doe, and Kenny. A few minutes passed, until Allister turned up the volume so loud it was practically screaming at the campers. Kenny ran out first, and Doe eventually followed.

Ashlynn, drinking in her victory, celebrated by stomping the boom-box to bits.

Back at the gym, no one was really excited to hear Lara speak, but they had to deal with it, so they impatiently waited for her to explain her four-point challenge. It was the classic needle-in-a-hay-stack task, but this time they slipped in a few baby wooly beavers in there, which did enjoy biting the campers quite a bit.

Kenny, who had endured the long painful hour and the fact that he lost his pants from the baby wooly beavers, found the needle and was rewarded the four points which tied him with Doe at sixteen, at left Ashlynn with fourteen.

"The day's not over yet," Ashlynn said quietly, in a very serious tone as she and the other two went back into the gym. "There's still Effie."

"And what a challenge I have!" Effie giggled, twirling her flaming red hair. "Oh my gosh, you guys are gonna LOVE this! Now, it's only worth two points—because Chris wasn't sure if anyone would be able to complete this at all. Heh, how silly is that?" Ashlynn groaned upon hearing this, realizing that she might've just lost here.

"So what's your challenge?" Kenny and Doe asked excitedly.

"Oh it's easy! Just dive off the Thousand Foot Cliff, and ride a shark back to shore for me to see!"

**(Confession Cam: Always look on the bright side of life!)**

"Looks like I can kiss those three hundred thousand dollars goodbye," Ashlynn groaned.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------

Despite numerous objections and lawyer threats, the three campers made their way over to the Thousand Foot Cliff.

"Well, here goes nothing," Kenny said quickly, taking a running start and diving off the cliff. He landed in the safe zone, but freaked out at the very possibility of trying to ride a shark, and jumped on the Boat of Losers.

"Don't know how something's gonna turn out until you try it, right?" Doe questioned, laughing nervously. She jumped as well, but chickened out on the shark-riding part.

"Crap…" Ashlynn muttered. "Is my possible death worth three hundred thousand bucks?" She paused, considering it. "Oh, screw it." She jumped.

Once she was at the bottom, part of her wanted to swim towards the Boat of Losers with Kenny and Doe, but part of her just REALLY wanted that money. So, wondering how stupid she was exactly, she swam towards the edge of the safe zone, and hopped on the back of a shark, which immediately looked up in confusion.

"Look, sharks aren't supposed to be eating humans unless they think we're seals," she reasoned to herself. "I'm not a seal, you idiot shark, and you're not going to stop me from winning." Ignoring her, the shark snapped at her, and Ashlynn yelped, sliding back on its back. She growled, and kicked the shark in the side, towards the beach. Whinnying like a horse, (for some odd reason) the shark sped in that direction where Effie hooted and waved towards Ashlynn.

At the first sign of a safe jump, Ashlynn jumped onto the Dock of Shame, nearly collapsing on it.

"I can't believe I just did that!" Ashlynn exclaimed.

**(Confession Cam: Still…odd…)**

"I just wanted her to stop kicking me, don't cha know?" The shark spoke in subtitles.

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"So, that ties us all at sixteen!" Doe remarked, stepping off the Boat of Losers with Kenny. "What now?" She groaned suddenly, and swerved a little. "I'm feeling really tired. We've done a whole lot of falling and running and stuff like that…" Kenny nodded in agreement, his eyes drooping with exhaustion.

"Oh yeah!" Effie laughed, her hands on her hips. "Chris and Chef have a challenge too, that's what the twentieth chair is for! Come back, and he'll tell you what it is! Rawr! I'm gonna beat you there!" She ran off, leaving the three campers behind, who wouldn't race with her even if they could.

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"What took you so long?!" Chris asked back at the gym, his hands thrown up in the air.

"We're tired!" Ashlynn groaned. "We've had nineteen ridiculous challenges already, and now you have one too, so we're told!"

"Well, that's true," Chris admitted. "But it's fairly simple, relaxing even."

"Really?" Kenny questioned, his eyes brightening. "Tell us!"

"You just have to stand there," Chris replied. "And not fall asleep, or fall on the floor. The first one to fall asleep is the one who will NOT be going to the finals!"

The exhausted contestants raised an eyebrow in surprise. The other nineteen, who had been forced into a vow of silence for this challenge, had looks of encouragement on their faces.

After ten minutes or so, Doe's knees began to slip, until she fell on the ground softly, groaning to herself.

"Doe!" Kevin cried, rushing over to his girlfriend.

"Well…looks like Doe's out," Chris said amiably. "Once she can stand again, she'll have to get her clothes and get out of here." Ashlynn dipped her head in sadness and started to exit, while Kenny remained unresponsive.

"Uh, Kenny?" Chris questioned, waving a hand over the wallflower's face. "Dude, you there?"

"Did he…fall asleep with his eyes open?" Jade questioned, surprised.

"Oh yeah," Leti chuckled, her hand flying to her forehead. "He does that sometimes." She paused, and paled. "Oh crap. He was sleeping right from the start. That means he's out, doesn't it?"

**(Confession Cam: Out of wit. Out of luck.)**

"You have to commend Leti for her unconditional honesty," Raphael remarked. "Uh…or stupidity. Either way, poor Kenny."

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The marshmallow ceremony was short, with Kenny leaving in his girlfriend Leti's arms. Despite his unconsciousness, he still got pats on the shoulders from both Doe and Ashlynn. All twenty of the booted campers exited on the same boat, which was probably on the verge of sinking by now.

Doe and Ashlynn stood side by side, by the fire, unsure what to say.

**(Confession Cam: Double trouble!)**

The screen was split in half, showing both Doe and Ashlynn.

"I've been through a lot her at TDI…" Doe started, leaning back in her seat.

"Honestly, there have been both good times and bad times here. The bad seem to outweigh the good," Ashlynn admitted.

"I've met an amazing guy and some amazing friends though," both brunettes said in unison.

"And even with the fights and the drama," Doe added.

"Through thick and thin, through wins and screw ups…" Ashlynn mused, closing her eyes slowly.

"One thing is for certain," They both said in unison, also finishing in unison the same proclamation—

"_I'm_ going to win!"

**(A.N.) Ha, that was a fun chapter! Sorry for the long wait, I do hope you enjoyed it. TaylorMan021983, sorry for kicking Kenny off. He had a good ride, and he'll be back for the next two chapters. One chapter will be for the finale, the other will be for an epilogue that will lead off for Goddess of Power's sequel. ^^**

**Anyways, please review, and so long! Till next chapter! Who will win—Doe or Ashlynn? It's brunette versus brunette, female against female!**


	28. And the Winner Is

**(It is HIGHLY RECOMMENDED that you do NOT scroll down to see who wins! It ruins the suspense! Anyhow, enjoy the finals, everyone!)**

For what was hopefully the final time, the camera focused on the Dock of Shame. However, it wasn't Chris or any recognizable camper; it was an unrecognizable figure dressed it what appeared to be…a ninja suit.

"Helloooo viewers from inside the first three walls and readers from outside the fourth!" The female chirped. "Let's go over some of the highlights of this season, since this show rocks! Sort of! Well, whether it sucks or not, I'm not getting paid for this so let's get this recap party started already!

"Let there be love! The couples gathered here at TDI include the following—Doe and Kevin, Raphael and Ashlynn, Riley and Rosetta, Leti and Kenny, Thomas and Rachel, Charity and Allister, Joel and Alice, and most recently, Satine and Hunter! Jeez, that's a lot…the still-singles are…Leo, Warren, Jade, John, Laura, and Effie! Of course, there have also been friends made here.

"But while there's friendship and love—there's also conflict. Let's see…Hunter and Kenny competed for the affection of Leti, with Kenny coming out on top. Leti, Kenny, Doe, and Effie were on a two versus two fight for a while over the matchmaking of Raphael and Ashlynn. Finally, what was probably the worst of them all: when Rosetta was voted off wrongly, Riley did NOT take it well…and he targeted Ashlynn, who was the main reason Rose got the boot. When Raphael came to stand up for Ashlynn, Riley turned his attention to him as well. However, all of these conflicts eventually resolved—much to the campers' relief and Chris's annoyance.

"Challenges have been above and below the bar too. The twenty challenges so far have been…The Wheel of Epic Failure, Wawanakwa Kart, The Crazy Train, The Animal Rescue Brigade, Quidditch, Me You and IQ, The Marshmallow Scavenger Hunt, Fear Factor—TDI style, Fight and Flight, The Water Olympics, Capture-the-Treasure-Chest, Escape to the PDL, An Eye for an Eye, Laser Tag, The Maze of Annoyance, Rescue the Princess, The Marshmallow Heist, That PDL episode that doesn't really have a name and doesn't really have a challenge, Party Crasher, and The Dare Challenge! Yeah, I know, we couldn't think of a better name for that last one…it's the end of the season, give us a break!

"But we're down to two now! Doe and Ashlynn have triumphed again and again! Not only that, but they have…GIRL POWAH!" The 'mysterious' ninja pumped a fist in the air, whooping. "Also--" she was cut off when she was forcefully pushed off the dock, and a very disgruntled host walked on screen.

"Gah!" Chris shouted. "I'm five minutes late and the lunatics come! Who was that chick, anyways?"

"You'll never get me ALIIIIVE!" The ninja screamed, clambering back up to the dock and proceeding to run away in the distance, cackling to herself.

"Well, that answers that," Chris said dully. "Ignoring the fact that I don't know how Effie got here in the first place, find out who wins on the final and most dramatic campfire ceremony in the history of campfire ceremonies, on Total…

"Drama…

"_Island!"_

Dramatic as that had been, it was all disrupted when Effie came running back to push Chris off the dock as well.

"You're next!" she cackled, facing the cameramen. The cameramen gulped, flicked the theme song on, and proceeded to run for their lives.

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The morning of the final challenge was normal, and pleasantly quiet.

Chris and Chef were both nowhere to be seen, but it wasn't like that fact was particularly upsetting to Ashlynn and Doe.

There was also the oddity of a family of raccoons in their cabin, holding what seemed to be a notepad and a pen. Doe was flattered that her animal friends wanted an autograph from the two finalists, although Ashlynn was a little creeped out.

Questions answered themselves when the girls came across a gigantic barrier near the backside of the mess hall with the warning "_Do not cross unless you want to be kicked in the head by Chef_." The faint sound of mechanics could be heard from the other side of the barrier. Exchanging glances, the two girls made their way over to the mess hall. Taking Kenny's advice from the day before, they snuck in back and nabbed some actual food from Chef's fridge.

"You know what?" Ashlynn mused as she and Doe sat down across from each other. "I know you're the only person standing between me and three hundred thousand dollars, but I don't feel that fierce and competitive around you, or whatever."

"I feel the same way!" Doe laughed, with a wide grin. "However this turns out, I think I'll be pretty satisfied with how things turned out here. What are you gonna do with your money if you win?"

"I'm not sure," Ashlynn admitted. "Three hundred thousand goes a pretty long way. Do you have an idea?"

"Take over the world and Pluto with Effie and Kevin as my subordinates," Doe replied, only half-kidding.

"Ah," said Ashlynn sarcastically with a slight nod. After that, the two girls were silent for a while, until Doe shouted this--

"BANANA BOAT!"

Ashlynn raised an eyebrow at this, although she wasn't that surprised at the outburst.

"You don't really like silence, do you?" she chuckled.

"Not really, no," Doe admitted. "I need to work on my inside voice."

"Either way," Ashlynn yawned, stretching her arms behind her head. "Good luck to you today, Doe. You've been fun since day one."

"Well, we comedy relief have to stick together," Doe laughed. "With my randomness and your sarcastic punch lines."

"Thanks?" Ashlynn mumbled, slightly confused. "Hey, do you think they'll force us into a second season?" Upon asking this, Ashlynn shuddered slightly herself.

"I don't know about you," Doe said lowly. "But I have this gut feeling that someone, somewhere, has something in plan for us…" the slightly-insane brunette eyed the nearest camera and peered deep into its lens. "I'm looking at _you_, Goddess of Power."

"Who?" Ashlynn asked.

"No one!" Doe shouted abruptly, her eye twitching slightly. Thankfully, Chris walked in at that time, with a tired and cranky Chef trailing behind him.

"Wassup, final two?" He greeted, his fingers in pistol-shapes towards the two brunettes. "Ready to score some cash? Do I sense some major tension between you two?"

"No," Ashlynn replied. "That's probably the tension of us having to resist hitting you with the nearest blunt object."

"Ouch," Chris chuckled. "And you, Doe? Feeling bloodthirsty against your other final camper?"

"…Rawr…" Doe said unenthusiastically, shaking a fist towards Ashlynn in a mock threat. "I'm going to…smack you…in the face…" Chris narrowed his eyes.

"Har-har," he grumbled. "Alright, before the challenge starts get in the confessional cam to talk about your stay here. The highs, the lows, what you thought of all the campers…all that jazz. After that, you may cross the wall that I'm guessing you already saw earlier. I can't guarantee Chef won't kick you in the head, though."

"Oh that's comforting," Ashlynn chuckled, rolling her eyes.

**(Confession Cam: Now in script format, AKA, "The author is somehow even lazier than before!")**

**Doe**--"If my stay had to be defined in two words…_totally flippin' awesome!_ Oh wait, that's three. I know the challenges have been a little dangerous--"

**Ashlynn—**"I wonder how many times me and Doe have been nearly killed. And if anyone listening replies with 'OVER 9000!' I reply to you with an irritated grunt."

**Doe—**"And the food hasn't been anything to write home about--"

**Ashlynn—**"Has Chef even ever _tried_ some of his own cooking? Has he no shame?!"

**Doe—**"But if I never came to this show, I never would've met Kevin or Effie, who are tied for the second most awesome person in the world along with me! First place goes to Chuck Norris, obviously."

**Ashlynn—**"If it weren't for this place though, the names Raphael, Kenny, and Leti would mean nothing to me. One amazing boyfriend and two great friends…if we're forced into a sequel, if nothing else, I'd be grateful I'd have more time with them."

**Ezekiel**—"Wait, why am I here, eh?"

**Ashlynn—**"As pompous as this sounds, I really think I can win. Doe's a tough opponent, but I am too!"

**Doe—**"Today's gonna be a tough match! Everyone knows how smart Ashlynn is, but I can be like, a super-freaky-telekinetic-genius when I want to! I probably could make someone's head explode if I wanted to, but I won't, because I'm nice like that."

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The two girls traveled across the barrier created by Chris and Chef, although it was later revealed Chef did all of the work, unsurprisingly.

On the other side, nothing appeared to be different. The two bleacher masses were still there, except a banner with the word 'DOE' protruded from the left and a banner with the word 'ASHLYNN' protruded from the right.

"Did it take that long to set the banners up?" Doe questioned Chef, raising an eyebrow.

"Jeez Chef, maybe you should work out more," Ashlynn commented dryly. Chef growled in response, and Ashlynn shrunk back.

"Don't worry campers!" Chris announced. "There's more. It's off-sight, I know, but you'll see it soon enough! Before that though, say hello to…your twenty ex-campers!"

Said twenty ex-campers/losers appeared into view, and the friendly ones waved towards the final two. Ignoring that unintentional rhyme, they took their spots in accordance to who they wanted to win.

Sitting in Ashlynn's bleachers were Raphael, Leti, Kenny, Jade, Hunter, Satine, Allister, Laura, Riley, and Warren. And, sitting in Doe's bleachers were Joel, John, Leo, Alice, Rosetta, Rachel, Kevin, Charity, Thomas, and Effie.

When Riley continued walking towards Ashlynn's bleachers and Rosetta sat down in Doe's, Riley paused, and turned around, the familiar smug look on his face.

"You don't think Ashlynn will win?" he questioned.

"No," Rosetta retorted sarcastically. "I'm just sitting here for the good view. Oh, and the other trivial fact is that I _want_ Doe to win."

"Very interesting," Riley mused, tapping his chin. "Care to make a wager?"

"Here they go again…" Rachel sighed, nudging Thomas who chuckled lightly in response.

"What kind of wager?" Rosetta asked, undoubtedly curious.

"If Ashlynn wins…" Riley started, trailing off as his thoughts wandered. "If Ashlynn wins, then you have to--" he leaned down towards her ear and whispered, "tell everyone you thought I was cute from day one." Rosetta narrowed her eyes, and crossed her arms stubbornly.

"Fine," she replied. "If Doe wins…" she moved towards Riley's ear and whispered as well, "then you have to tell everyone that you one of the reasons you call me Kitten is because you love kittens and adopted three of them."

"Deal," Riley agreed. The two shook hands. Another couple split up because of the bleachers was Charity and Allister. They also decided to do a wager, just for fun.

"Alright, if Ashlynn wins…" Allister mused. "Then you have to show everyone that picture of you in the pink dress from grade six." Charity growled, but nodded.

"And if Doe wins…" Charity grinned evilly. "You have to tell everyone you write in a diary."

"It's a journal," Allister grumbled, his eyebrows lowered.

"Diary," Charity argued.

"Journal!" Allister shouted back, exasperated.

"Then why is there a picture of a unicorn on it?" Charity questioned, an eyebrow raised dubiously.

"Wait…what?!" Allister exclaimed, apparently unaware of this fact. "I never put a unicorn on there!" He turned to the preppy Hispanic one sitting besides him. "Leti, did you do that?"

"Well, it looked all doom and gloom!" Leti told him. "It needed a little dose of happy!"

"How did you even find it?"

"I found it in Charity's room at the Playa de Losers. She stole it from you first, so by the laws of those people who create laws I'm totally innocent!"

"No she's not," Satine mouthed to the camera, rolling her eyes.

"When is the challenge going to start, anyways?" Kenny yawned, drumming his fingers on his leg. "It's like we're here just to consume time."

"The train's falling of the tracks, ladies and gentlemen," Joel muttered. "I don't think the producers have a clue what to do anymore."

"I never thought they knew what they were doing from the beginning," Raphael remarked. "I always thought they were just winging it."

"Here here," Thomas chorused.

"Oh!" Effie squealed. "Maybe we're getting so much screen time so they can leave the episode at a dramatic cliffhanger! Like, maybe by the end of the show, Doe will be hanging from a cliff!"

"That's not what a cliffhanger means, Effie," Warren pointed out.

"Well, it's better then real soap opera cliffhangers dude," Hunter commented. "Otherwise someone would end up being pregnant."

"Now there's an idea!" Chris chuckled, writing that down on a notepad. Jade slapped her forehead.

"Nice going," she said sarcastically, glaring at Hunter. Hunter shrugged feebly in response.

"Can the actual challenge start now?" Doe questioned, struggling for the host's attention.

"If it must," Chris sighed.

"Well, having the final challenge in the final episode is kind of the whole point of the _finals_…" Ashlynn pointed out, slapping her forehead.

"Must you be so cynical?" Chris questioned her.

"I can't help it. It's my natural born reaction towards stupidity."

Chris rolled his dot-like eyes, and started his instructions.

"Alright, here's how things are gonna work here. You two have different paths, each labeled with your name. It's like a race. Simple. The race has three different parts, that have to do with these three things—intelligence, physical prowess, and unsurprisingly—insanity."

"WHOO!" Effie screamed delightedly at the last one, standing up and falling off her bleachers in the process.

"Is she alright?" Alice asked, concernedly leaning over the bleachers.

"Oh she'll be back up in five seconds," Joel said, rolling his eyes. "From all her falls and babbling, you'd think she's drunk or something."

"Look at the pretty pink dingoes!" Effie giggled from the ground. Joel shot Alice a "See what I mean?" look.

"So, final two, if you'd move to the starting line…over there…we'll get this show on the road!" Doe and Ashlynn nodded, and moved along to aforementioned starting line, which is about as creative a description as the author will give. Laziness, remember?

Moving to their separate paths, they smiled at each other once, before staring back at the long path ahead of them.

Before the race started, Raphael and Kevin walked up towards their girlfriends, encouraging them as Chris readied a signal.

"Three…" the host counted down. "Two…one…go!" Chris shot the flare gun, which proceeded to set John's hair on fire. The extremely unloved cannon fodder ran around screaming all the way to the lake. No one seemed to notice.

But, the signal still had been made, and Doe and Ashlynn ran on their paths incredibly fast. They saw nothing in the distance, and the only thing dividing them was a bright red line. On top of that, their paths seemed to be going in the same direction.

"Are you confused as I am about the whole 'barrier' thing?" Doe questioned Ashlynn as the two brunettes ran head to head.

"Yup," Ashlynn agreed.

"Good. I was worried there was some deep physiological meaning behind it that I was missing…"

Ashlynn chuckled. Behind the two girls trailed their boyfriends, who were seriously falling behind.

"Oy, Raphael!" Ashlynn shouted jokingly over her shoulder. "Can your scrawny legs keep up, or do you need me to carry you?"

"I'd prefer if you didn't!" Raphael chuckled sarcastically. "My _scrawny legs_ just don't match up to your freakish bionic ones!"

"Kevin!" Doe exclaimed as well as she glanced over her shoulder. "You're my cheerleader! Why aren't you cheering?"

"I'm a _cheerleader_?" Kevin laughed. "Oh man, I don't have to wear a skirt, do I?"

"And makeup, and a wig!" Doe assured him. Kevin had a fake look of horror on his face.

"Surely you can't be serious!" He gasped dramatically.

"Dead serious!" Doe giggled. "And don't call me Shirley!"

Finally, the two girls reached what appeared to be an actual destination. Right where they were, in front of the forest, were two medium sized jail-resembling concrete masses, both of them looking evil and unkempt. Ashlynn wondered if this was where Chris lived.

"Abandon all hope, ye who enter here," Raphael sighed, skidding to a stop besides Ashlynn. "Kevin and I can't follow you in there. We'll be right on the other side, waiting. Good luck, Ashlynn." Ashlynn smiled.

"Thanks Raphael," She chuckled. "Trust me though; whatever's in there won't me a problem for me." Raphael gave a forced smile, and Ashlynn could tell he knew something about what lay in store for her. But instead of questioning him, she just ruffled his head playfully and jogged inside.

Kevin hugged Doe before running to the other side as well. The 'jails' themselves weren't that big, in fact, they only looked big enough to have an average kitchen inside of them. Doe and Ashlynn walked up to them, desperate to be brave.

With simultaneous gulps, the two girls opened the heavy metal door, and stepped inside.

**(Confession Cam: Trapped perpetually, having to listen to whiny teenagers.)**

**Ashlynn—**"Things only got worse from there."

**Doe**—"Aw man, I never thought I'd have to confront _her_ again."

--------------~Let's see what's behind door number one, shall we?~---------------

Like some cliché horror movie, the door to the 'jail' slammed shut as soon as Ashlynn stepped away from it. The room was bigger than it appeared to be from the outside, and the room was horribly lit, with only some dim light from outside coming out from the window. Most of the room was covered in shadows.

A bit frightened, she turned around, and tried to open the door that had shut in order to let in more light. Unsurprisingly, it was locked. She could barely make out the sight of a door on the other end, and to her annoyance, that one was locked as well.

"Damn it, could this get any worse?" She cursed under her breath. The thought of breaking the window and climbing outside occurred to her, but she had nothing to break it with.

"Okay, Chris said this was the intelligence challenge, so there's a way out of here—I just need to think of it," she reasoned with herself. "You're smart Ashlynn, you can do this…just…stay…CALM! GAH!" She kicked the nearest wall in aggravation over her current situation, and then hobbled around for a while since kicking stone-hard wall was not the best idea.

"I guess it wasn't your ability to survive under pressure that got you to the finals," a familiar voice chuckled. Ashlynn whipped her head around, surprised, to the source of the noise. It was Riley, and he stepped out of the shadows, sporting an all too familiar smirk.

"Uh…how'd you get here before I did?" Ashlynn questioned incredulously.

"Cartoon physics," Riley replied, shrugging. "You get used to it." He stepped closer to the light and Ashlynn caught sight of something metal shimmering around his neck.

It was a key.

She turned her head—the door to her escape had an inevitable keyhole.

"Well, looks like things _can_ get worse," Riley remarked. "Hate to be the bearer of bad news Ash, but if you want this key, you're going to have to go through me." He paused, and grinned. "Hooray, my first cliché."

-------------------------------~And behind door number two?~---------------------------

"Leti?" Doe questioned, surprised. She had just gone through the same process Ashlynn had, except she had tried to blow up the walls with her mind. ("I swear, that never works when I need it to!" She had muttered to herself.)

"Hey!" Leti greeted, twirling the large silver key in her hand. "Wassup?"

"Oh you know," Doe said cautiously, her gaze fixed on the key. "Just trying to escape from a closed off jail-like…_thing_…so I can beat a sarcastic brunette in a race to get three thousand dollars. So, nothing special."

"Okay, so I know what you're thinking," Leti chirped. "You're thinking that you need to take this key by some…painful method, right?"

-------------------~And back inside door number one?~--------------------

"Wrong!" Riley proclaimed, apparently continuing on the same speech as Leti. "You remember what Chris said, after all, this is--"

---------------------~And…door number two…again…~----------------------

"Intelligence!" Leti continued. "Not physical-ness, so please stop looking like you're about to pounce about on me. Still--"

-----------------~You get the bloody point.~---------------------

"You're probably tempted to use force somehow," Riley mused. "But that won't be such a good idea."

"And why not?" Ashlynn questioned, her eyes narrowed.

"Well…"

----------------~Yeah, yeah. We'll stop this eventually.~-----------------

"Check this out!" Leti giggled. Upon saying that, a rift opened in the floor, separating Doe and Leti. Leti dangled the key over the rift. "If you like, try to attack me, or make me annoyed, or angry or something…"

----------------------------------~Bleh.~---------------------------------------

"I can just go ahead and drop this key into the Pit of Death, Doom and Despair—and you'll never see this key again. Eventually they'll let us out, but who knows how far Doe would've gotten by then?" Riley finished. He glared at the camera suddenly. "And please, stop with all the random cuts. It's getting annoying."

"Noted," the cameraman muttered.

"So…" Ashlynn said slowly. "I need to…what? Trick you? Convince you to give me the key?"

"Anything that gets this key over there," Riley replied. "Hey, you know why they chose me to do this bit?" Ashlynn shook her head. "I was your worst enemy during TDI, even more so than Laura. And you know what they say—keep your friends close, and your enemies closer. So, give it your best shot." Ashlynn was stumped. She knew Riley was smart, so she didn't think she could trick him easily. She did the first thing that came to her head.

"If you give me the key or I'll tell Rosetta to not make out with you for a month!" Ashlynn threatened. Riley tilted his head.

"Oh, threats. I'm not too fond of threats." He lowered the key towards the pit, and Ashlynn paled.

"I'll give you five bucks!" she pleaded. Riley grinned, and raised the key back slightly.

"You're getting warmer."

------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Aw c'mon, Leti!" Doe giggled nervously. "I know you want to give me the key! We have like, a spiritual connection!" She thumped her chest to accentuate her not-very-well-made point.

"Hm…" Leti mused indifferently, still twirling the key in her fingers. "I dunno, Doe…"

"I'll bake you my famous quadruple-chocolate brownies!" Doe offered.

"I don't like chocolate," Leti sniffled.

"I'll make them without chocolate, then!" Doe replied. Leti blinked, surprised.

"Is that even possible?" she asked.

"Er…sure!" Doe exclaimed.

"Well…nah. I'm supposed to watch my carbs, anyways."

Doe groaned. This was not going to be easy.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------

_Think Ashlynn, think!_ Ashlynn ordered inwardly as she paced the grounds in front of the rift. Riley watched her, obviously amused at her fruitless efforts. She nearly made it with the bribe, but just when she thought she had the key in her hands, Riley suddenly announced he didn't feel comfortable accepting money from strange old women.

Ashlynn was not amused.

She shifted through her memories, trying to think what Riley's weak spot could be. Eventually she snapped her fingers, and triumphantly walked towards the rift. Riley raised an eyebrow, but said nothing.

Dramatically, Ashlynn cleared her throat.

"Riley," she said slowly. "You are the smartest, strongest, most awesome competitor on the island, and you have the personality and looks to go with it."

"Why thank you," Riley chuckled. "I'm so flattered; I think I just might accidentally and inconspicuously toss the keys into your hands." Ashlynn grinned, and caught the metal key with ease.

"I'm glad you figured it out," Riley mused, as he and Ashlynn headed towards the exit.

"You are?" Ashlynn asked, surprised.

"Sure," Riley replied. "We both screwed up a couple times in our stay here. But you're a good kid, Ashlynn. I certainly wouldn't be complaining if you won."

"Kid? I'm a year older then you," Ashlynn pointed out, rolling her eyes.

"Okay, fine. Can I stick with the old nickname then? Ace?" Riley laughed.

"Ah sure, whatever," Ashlynn chuckled.

"Now, hurry up with the race already!" Riley exclaimed. "Before Doe figures out Leti's major weakness!"

"Do you know what it is?" Ashlynn questioned. Riley nodded.

"It's…talking about…" he shuddered. "_Shoes_."

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Doe winced as soon as she heard Ashlynn's relieved cries from outside—("I'M FREE! HALLELUJAH!")

"I'm falling behind!" She muttered to herself. "I've gotta think fast!" She had already tried bribes, but that was unsuccessful because Leti had about a million and one reasons not to accept them.

A bit devastated, she sighed and squatted on the floor in front of Leti. And by dumb luck, she somehow said the perfect thing.

"Cool shoes, Leti. Where'd you get them?"

Leti squealed.

"Oh my gosh, I know, right? Aren't they just adorable? I bought them at (insert shoe store here. The author does not know any shoe stores off the top of her head). Half off, too!" She giggled at the memory, and clapped her hands together. Unfortunately, while she was doing this, the key slipped out of her hands…right towards the pit.

Doe did the good, old-fashioned slo-mo "NOOOOOOOOO!" and leaped for the key. She grasped it, but then fell inside the pit herself.

_Well, it can't be that bad right? _She reasoned with herself. _It's just the…Pit of…Death…Doom…and…Despair._

_…_

_AAAAAAGH!_

She plummeted for only about five seconds, and then landed, face-first, into some dirt ground.

"Oh my gosh!" Doe heard a male voice say frantically. "Are you okay?"

"She'll be fine," a female voice murmured back. Doe struggled to her feet, and then looked around at her surroundings. There wasn't much—it was just a tunnel. Rachel and Thomas stood in front of her, holding torches, holding hands, and smiling at her.

"I am seriously confused!" complained Doe. "Honestly, you guys were like, sitting at the bleachers when we left…and you still get here before us!"

"It's best not to ask," Thomas said simply, handing Doe a torch. "Anyways, keep going forwards! It should lead you right back up to the surface."

"I thought this was the Pit of Death Doom and Despair! I mean, it's capitalized and everything!"

"Nah," Rachel replied, shaking her head. "This is just the Pit of Possibly-Sprained Ankles, a Little Annoyance, and Maybe Small Feelings of Despair While You're Falling. Not the catchiest name, we know."

"Why are you here, anyways?" Doe asked curiously. "I mean, not that I object—but did Chris really expect us to fall down the pits?"

"It was just as a precaution," Thomas responded. "If you didn't have the key, and you fell down here, we'd tell you the wrong way to go. But, you do have the key, so you can go the right way now. You might want to go now, otherwise you'll fall behind."

"Oh, right!" Doe exclaimed. She turned towards the couple. "Thanks guys!" With that, she ran off.

"Other way…" Rachel sighed.

"Thanks!" Doe repeated frantically, turning around and running towards the light at the end of the tunnel.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

When Ashlynn thought of the words 'physical prowess' she never imagined they could be associated with the words 'maple syrup'.

But, here she was, climbing a tree that had been soaked with maple syrup from head to toe. How they did it was unknown to Ashlynn. Maple syrup phenomena aside—it was revealed to Ashlynn that the 'physical prowess' section of the race was divided into three subsections, all of them based on the Lumberjack Games.

But, like most things involving TDI, they always took it to the extremes. Hence the pancake topping disaster.

Allister and Charity, the supervisors for this particular sub-challenge, were not helping much.

"I'm kinda hungry for pancakes now…" Charity mused once Ashlynn slipped down from the tree for the tenth time or so.

"Well, the Playa de Losers still serves them around this hour," Allister remarked. "After the finale we could eat there…it's too bad you won't spend much time at the PDL at all Ashlynn, it really is a ridiculously awesome resort."

Ashlynn slammed her head against the tree trunk, grumbling to herself. She then grumbled some more, since she now had maple syrup in her hair. Raphael and Kevin were there as well—although Kevin was just politely watching and not commenting much.

"No rush though Ashlynn," Raphael said, smiling gently. "You got out of the first part pretty quickly. You still have the lead against Doe."

"A lead I want to keep…" Ashlynn sighed. "Is she doing the same thing I am?"

"Yup," Raphael replied. "Right on the tree over there." He pointed to some obscure location the author won't bother specifying.

"The one also dripping syrup?"

"That'd be the one."

"I figured."

As Ashlynn started up in an attempt to climb the tree, Doe appeared over the horizon, sprinting down her path.

"HI!" She shouted loudly, once she was down near the others. Charity and Allister quickly explained the challenge to her. Grinning, Doe positioned herself near the base of the tree.

Within seconds, she had reached the top, and rang the bell that dignified that she had accomplished the first sub-challenge.

"How did you do that?" Ashlynn questioned in awe, still only at the midway mark for her tree.

"Monkey hybrid! Nuff said!" Doe replied, continuing to run down her path towards the next sub-challenge.

"Go Doe!" Kevin cheered, chasing after his girlfriend.

Seeing Doe complete the task encouraged Ashlynn as well. With a great deal of effort, she managed to reach the bell and ring it.

"Nice job, Ashlynn!" Raphael complemented, as Ashlynn composed herself and started down her path again.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

Doe was mildly surprised to see Chris waiting for her later on her path. Beside him were Jade, Satine, Warren, and Hunter, each of them wearing creepy grins.

"Is every contestant involved with this race now?" Doe asked.

"Well…we needed some help," Chris admitted. "Anyways, one of the challenges in the Lumberjack games is having to saw trees and logs and whatnot. Here's what we're doing to put our own spin on it…"

"Here you go," Jade said amiably, handing Doe what appeared to be a pair of stilts.

"Okay…" Doe mumbled. "What about a saw, then?"

"_Chain_saw, actually," Satine corrected. "You have to progress down the path with the stilts until you reach the final sub-challenge. While you're doing that, we'll be trying to cut you down with these chainsaws…" She revved a chainsaw that appeared out of nowhere, presumably coming out of hammerspace.

"Since you probably can't run with the stilts, we're so nice we'll only walk with our chainsaws," Warren added, grinning.

"Well thanks!" Doe exclaimed sarcastically.

"Plus only two of us will be chasing you personally," Hunter continued.

"Ah, I'm loving this more and more," Doe muttered, still sarcastic. She paused. "So, if my stilts get demolished is there some kind of demerit?"

"Actually, yes," Jade admitted. "If your stilts get cut up, you have to stand still on your path for five minutes."

"Well…alright!" Doe proclaimed, her sprits apparently lifting. "Let's do this thing!" She clambered onto her stilts, and waddled away into the distance. Giving her a bit of a head start, Warren and Jade followed after, moving at a slow-but-steady pace. Every time Doe stumbled they would get closer by a few feet—but Doe didn't stumble too much.

In a few minutes, Ashlynn arrived as well. After receiving identical instructions, she got on her stilts…only to proceed to get off of them and run away in the distance with the stilts underneath her arms.

"You can't do that!" Hunter shouted after her.

"Yes I can!" Ashlynn shouted back, her voice getting fainter as she got farther away. "You said I had to run _with_ the stilts, not _on_ them!"

"Damn loophole," Chris grumbled.

"Should we bother chasing after her?" Hunter asked Satine. "I mean, there's no way we can make it if we walk like we said we would."

"But Hunter," Satine said jokingly. "Why would I miss an opportunity to come off as a total psycho that likes to chase innocent brunettes with chainsaws?"

"Hm…it actually _does_ sound like fun," Hunter chuckled. "Shall we?"

"We shall," Satine agreed. The two of them, waving their chainsaws and cackling insanely, ran off into the distance.

"What a tender moment," Chris remarked.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Ashlynn and Doe made it to the next sub-challenge at the same time. Ashlynn had eventually passed Doe, and upon seeing Ashlynn's… "technique", Doe did the same. The two girls found themselves at the Dock of Shame, where two meager logs waited for them.

"Log-rolling?" Ashlynn guessed instantly. "Wait, wasn't this done last year?"

"Yeah, but all the other Lumberjack Games we had as choices were just more…saw-related stuff," Rosetta replied, apparently the instructor for this part of the challenge. "Just get on the log, and log-ride it or whatever to the beach of the Thousand Foot Cliff. From there, run up to the top, and Effie will be waiting for you with the final challenge."

"Got it," Doe said, nodding. "Hey, where are Kevin and Raphael? We seem to have lost them."

"They probably fell behind and took a shortcut to the next stop. They'll be waiting for you either up at the cliff or back at the finish line," Rosetta said, shrugging. "Nothing to worry about."

"Well…alright…" Ashlynn mused.

She and Ashlynn got on their logs, and instantly fell off the slippery wood. Slightly annoyed, they got back up again…only to slip off. Again.

"You guys can climb a syrup-soaked tree and run on stilts away from teenagers with chainsaws, but you can't get on a log?" Rosetta asked, quirking an eyebrow at the two.

"It's harder than it looks!" Doe cried.

After precisely sixty-three tries, Rosetta groaned in irritation, and told them to just go and run up on the cliff on land instead.

"If you say so!" Doe giggled, running past the temperamental Tanzanian.

"What if you get in trouble for abiding the rules?" Ashlynn questioned. Rosetta scoffed.

"Then why don't you tell _them_ how _fun_ it is to watch two girls try to get on a log for an hour?" She muttered. "I'm not even getting paid for this crap."

"That sucks," Ashlynn said, grimacing. "Uh…I should probably actually…start running to the cliff now."

"You just figured that out?" was the reply she got.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Effie had been jumping off the cliff and back on it for a while now, but she was now delighted to see the two finalists finally reach their final destination. **(A.N. I was just able to fit the word 'final' three times in one sentence. Beat that.) **

Ashlynn and Doe, who had yet again gotten there around the same time, were confused to see nothing but two large plastic balls near Effie's feet.

"So, what's the final challenge, Effie?" Doe asked, grinning at her friend.

"Oh, it's simple really!" Effie giggled. "You just need to get in these oversized hamster balls and roll down the cliff all the way to the finish line!"

"Can't get much simpler than that…" Doe said weakly.

"This…this is insane!" Ashlynn groaned.

"Well _duh_," replied the insane redhead. "That's why it's the insanity challenge silly!"

"Sorry," Ashlynn apologized. "Nothing more original really struck me at that moment." She paused. "Oh yeah…" She turned towards the nearest camera, and said in a slow voice—"This is not a safe thing to do. Do not try this at home. These are fictional characters."

She cleared her throat.

"With that aside…" the sarcastic one continued. "Let's get this over with." She and Doe climbed into their hamster ball things, and gulped.

"Need a push?" Effie asked.

"No," Doe and Ashlynn replied in unison. "I think I'd rather start by mys--"

"TOO LATE!" Effie shrieked, and kicked the two hamster balls anyway. The two girls screamed as they tumbled down the hill rapidly.

"Hey Doe?" Ashlynn yelled, facing the teen rolling besides her. "Isn't this challenge kind of based on luck? I mean, whoever gets the best path?"

"Looks like it!" Doe yelled back. The two were surprisingly silent for two girls rolling down a ridiculously steep hill in two hamster balls of doom. "Ashlynn, I really hope you don't die here!" Doe shouted suddenly.

"Thanks!" Ashlynn replied awkwardly. "Uh…I hope you don't die to!"

"I'm scared!" Doe wailed. "I want some chocolate! Chocolate always calms me down!"

"Sorry Doe! I don't think there'll be any…" she stopped mid-sentence, and said this instead. "DOE! Look out for that log!" True enough, there was a log sticking out of the ground, right in Doe's path.

"Look out for that _frog_?" Doe yelled back, confused.

"NO! _LOG_!"

"Blog?!" Doe shouted, confused, and mishearing yet again. "I mean, I know some blogs can be a little offensive, but I don't see how that applies here--"

"LOOOOOOOOOG!" Ashlynn shouted again, but it was too late. Doe hit the log. Oddly enough, the log worked as sort of a miniature ramp, and away Doe flew into the sky. Ashlynn continued at her rapid decline down the hill.

"Now that's what I call a bumpy ride!" Chris's narration commented, although he himself was unseen.

There was a short pause.

Apparently, since they didn't want to dignify the joke, the crickets actually refused to chirp in the background.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Who's coming first?" Alice asked excitedly, her spiky red head poking up from behind the contestants. "I can't see a thing!" All of the contestants who had helped out with the challenge were now back where they started out.

"Alice, shh!" Jade growled.

"Don't shh by girlfriend!" Joel growled back at you.

"Oh ho ho, so she _is_ your girlfriend?" Leo teased his brother. Joel narrowed his eyes.

Raphael and Kevin were near the very front of the mass of contestants, both of them nervous yet excited.

"Hey man," Kevin said suddenly, facing Raphael. "No hard feelings, no matter who wins, right?"

"Right," Raphael replied. "Both of them are great people, after all. Now, if one of them was Laura, then I'd have to disagree."

"I'm right here!" Laura growled.

"Yeah, but we wish you weren't," Kevin muttered. "Oh hey, I see someone in the distance!"

"And I see someone in the air…" Raphael said, surprised.

"It's gonna hit us!" Thomas exclaimed. "Everyone run around screaming their heads off!" The others did so, and took refuge in the bleachers. Ashlynn in the distance came closer and closer as Doe dropped lower and lower…

And as Doe soared above the finish line, Ashlynn crossed it at practically the same time. Even with the twenty contestants poking their heads out from the bleachers, they couldn't tell who got their first.

"Well!" Chris exclaimed. "Looks like we'll have to review the tapes for this finish! But that's perfect than—much more dramatic! Meet me by the campfire in an hour, and then we'll find out who won this season! Exciting, isn't it?"

More like drop-dead-nerve-wracking.

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The two brunettes sat side by side, each of them pale and wide-eyed. Chris held one single marshmallow in front of them.

"Doe and Ashlynn…" Chris mused. "One—optimistic, fun, and loveable. The other—sarcastic, caring, and brave. Who is the winner? Ladies and gentlemen, after reviewing the tapes and using a heck of a lot of zoom power, the final marshmallow goes to…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

Doe."

Doe let a gasp, and then a wild cheer. She completely pushed over Chris to grab her marshmallow, and then popped it in her mouth.

"Yes!" She shouted. "No longer am I just the twin sister to Courtney! I am Doe, winner of the second season, befriender of the insane, and ruler of…" she paused. "That tree! Over there!"

Ashlynn stood up and smiled at Doe.

Doe grinned back, and tackled Ashlynn to the ground in a hug.

"Good game, Ashlynn!" The winner told her.

"You too," Ashlynn murmured. "You really did deserve to win. Hats off to you!"

"Doe, I knew you could do it!" Kevin laughed. "You really are the best, you know that?" the skater boy kissed his girlfriend.

Raphael hugged Ashlynn in comfort.

"I was so close!" Ashlynn groaned.

"Ah, you're still amazing to me," Raphael told her. "Ashlynn…I…ah, this is going to sound so cliché and so cheesy—but really, I love you."

"Love you too," Ashlynn whispered, smiling. The two kissed.

There was no fainting involved.

"Well, that was fun, wasn't it?" Chris mused. "But it's finally over now! Doe, we'll get your three hundred thousand later. For the next week though, enjoy your stay your stay at the Playa de Losers. You're free…for now."

The twenty-two teens began walking to the boat, with no goodbyes to Chris in mind. Then, all that Chris said registered.

"For now?!" They repeated, turning around with jaws agape.

"Yup!" Chris cackled. "In September, when school starts, you're all due for a sequel…in high school! Best of all…" he pointed a thumb to his chest. "_I'm_ the principal! And due to your contracts, you all have to come! Well…except for Raphael."

"Wait, what?" Raphael asked, confused.

"You heard me. You're actually _prohibited_ from coming to the high school."

"You're kidding!" Ashlynn exclaimed in desperate disbelief.

"'Fraid not," Chris replied. "The NOPKHBDB have sued us over the case of Raphael, and now Raphael is no longer allowed to participate in any TDI-related…stuff…asides from the rest of this season. Which is now over."

'The NOPKHBDB?" Raphael repeated. "Who on Earth are those people?"

"The national organization protecting kids harmed by dodge balls," Chris responded.

"That group _so_ does not exist!" Ashlynn fumed.

"In this story it does, kiddo!" Chris retaliated.

"But, I _want_ to join the next season," Raphael pleaded.

"Well…you're forbidden. Tough luck."

Unsure what to say anymore, Raphael and Ashlynn climbed into the Boat of Losers, along with the other twenty contestants.

"Oh come on guys, it'll be okay!" Doe encouraged them as the boat revved its engine once, and continued on its way." You guys will write to each other, and…"

"I WRITE IN A DIARY!" Allister shouted—the statement required thanks to his lost bet against Charity.

"What I'm saying is--"

"I ADOPT KITTENS!" Riley shouted also, leaving Doe interrupted…again. She narrowed her eyes.

"It's only a bad situation if you end up making it one," she continued. "If you sulk about it, then your last week here will be a terrible one. But if you remember the fact that you'll write to each other, and visit, then this summer will seriously be an amazing one, even more amazing than it already has been! So, what do you say? Ready to rock the Playa de Losers?"

Raphael and Ashlynn glanced from Doe, to each other, and smiled.

"Let's make it a summer we'll never forget," Ashlynn agreed.

**(A.N.) THE END. Or not. Still the epilogue, folks!**

**Argh…campfire scene turned out so doggone cheesy…and I need an excuse for Raphael's absence in the sequel…yeah…**

**Anyhow, I crown Doe, the creation of Goddess of Power, the winner of Total Drama Island Season Two!**

**Yeah, okay, I worked on this for a long time. I was excited to finish it—not to mention, I had an awesome morning! Our basketball team beat the team ranked first place, so now we're first place! ^^**

**Anyways, the epilogue might be kinda short…just to warn you.**

**Thank you for reading!**


	29. Epilogue: Saying Goodbye

Things certainly cooled down after the final episode of TDI. The twenty-two campers spent their remaining time relaxing as much as humanely possible, and drank Pina Coladas to their hearts' content. The last seven days at the Playa de Losers were filled with enjoyablemoments, and a lack of explosions. For the most part.

Heaven in other words, especially for the teens who had spent most of their time at hell, right around the corner.

The winner of the whole ordeal—(Doe, for those having trouble with the lack of an episode recap) was more than happy to sleep in on that final day; especially after having to wake up to Chris's blaring wake up calls on the intercom for the majority of her summer.

"_WAKE UP_!"

Unfortunately, she'd unwittingly found a new alarm clock: a certain insane redhead.

"Gah!" Doe yelped, flying upright in her bed. "Oh, hey Effie!" Doe's tone grew significantly less shocked as she recognized the crazy one in front of her—apparently she was used to things like this happening between her and her friend. "Uh…how'd you get in here?"

"Oh that's not important," Effie giggled, with a dismissive wave of her hand. Doe raised an eyebrow, but grinned.

"Alright, alright," Doe chuckled as she slid out of her bed and peeked out her curtain. "Is anyone else up?"

"Of course! It's ten. I wasn't about to let you sleep in all day."

"So you decided to sneak in my room and scream me awake," Doe deducted.

"Well…yeah, pretty much."

"You could've knocked."

"Where's the fun in that?" retorted Effie. "Don't worry though, you're not going to miss the fun—after all, Laura is still asleep. And I happen to have a matching set of blow horns."

"It's a date, then!" Doe cackled, wondering whether or not she should take a camera along. "Man alive, I really am gonna miss this."

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As a very angry Laura chased the hysterically laughing duo away from the hotel, Rachel and Thomas watched nearby, curious yet cautious.

"We…probably shouldn't get involved," Rachel muttered.

"Phew," Thomas breathed in relief. "Not to be mean mon, but those girls are kind of…crazy."

"Not to worry about insulting them, Thomas," Rachel said amiably. "They take crazy as a complement." Thomas chuckled, and grinned at Rachel.

"I can't believe we're going to see each other again in such a short amount of time," he mused, changing the subject. "School might be a bit more relaxing at least."

"With Chris as the principal?" Kenny questioned, walking up towards the duo with Leti skipping behind him. "I doubt it."

"If Chris is the principal, is Chef the lunch lady?" Leti whimpered. "That…scares me. I think I just lost my breath a little just by thinking about it!"

"Too much to think about," Kenny agreed. "Lucky Raphael gets to skip out on it all."

"It wasn't my choice," Raphael pointed out, walking up to the now-quartet-group along with Ashlynn. "Besides, I really am not looking forward to the fact that all twenty-one of you will be reunited while I'll probably be doing something significantly less interesting."

"At least you're free from dodge balls!" Thomas offered him, with a wide grin.

"Speaking of escaping running gags…" Riley remarked, trailing up to the growing mass with, unsurprisingly, Rosetta nearby. "Since Raphael is leaving, I believe I'll need to find a new victim."

"Riley," Rosetta groaned. "Aw, don't go into _that_ again."

"You can't fight the forces of nature," Riley amended. He glanced at the present company. "Hm…alright…I choose…Kenny." Kenny groaned and slapped his forehead. "I now dub you Jenny. There, problem solved. That was easy enough."

"Was that it?" Kenny asked, with an eyebrow quirked.

"No, Jenny, it most certainly was not. Really, I'm insulted. Do you think that's the best I could come up with? One meager insult? You know me better than that."

"I thought you weren't supposed to be mean anymore," Leti muttered, glaring at Rosetta as if blaming her for her boyfriend's somewhat evil ways.

"Don't look at me," Rosetta shot back. "Besides, it's Riley. His personality is unmistakable, and quite frankly, unchangeable."

"One hundred percent true," Riley verified. "I'm one of a kind."

"Thankfully," Raphael muttered under his breath.

"Hey guys!" Charity shouted from the distance, running towards the group with Allister trailing behind her. "We just got back from breakfast. What's up?"

"Oh the usual," Ashlynn assured her. "Laura's being cranky, Doe and Effie are being crazy, and Riley's being…well, being himself."

"As in, being a conceited, arrogant, sarcastic narcissist with a God complex?" Allister questioned. The others nodded, Riley himself included, albeit with a proud grin on his face.

"Changing the subject," Rachel chimed in. "I heard Chris is coming here since it's the last day. He's gonna talk about the sequel, or something."

"Oh joy," Kenny sighed. "Maybe he's doing a PowerPoint. He could _bore_ us to death, then."

"Don't give him ideas now," Raphael cautioned. "You never know if he's watching." Leti shuddered at this.

"Does he really have nothing better to do to watch teens relax at a hotel? That's…really…creepy…" she mumbled.

"Well, it is Chris," Allister mused. "King of Creepy. I always did wonder how he spends his free time."

"Probably plotting," Ashlynn offered.

"Or practicing evil laughs," Rachel added.

"Or going to movies and shopping with his best buddy Chef," Raphael chuckled.

"Well, instead of talking about some_thing_ we hate—emphasis on thing because I'm not quite sure if Chris is one hundred percent human—how about we actually go ahead and _do_ something? Like Jenny said, Chris's presentation is sure to be boring, so let's just go have some fun already," Riley offered.

"That's actually a good idea," Rosetta laughed.

"Why do you sound so surprised?" Riley teased. The two of them walked off—still arguing/flirting.

"Well, that sounds good to me too," Thomas said pleasantly. "Who's up for a game of chicken in the pool? Rachel will be on my shoulders, Charity will be on Allister's, Leti will be on Kenny's, and Ashlynn will be on Raph--"

"You might have that mixed up," Ashlynn said lightly.

"Oh yeah. Raphael will be on Ashlynn's shoulders, and then we're good to go."

Raphael slapped his forehead at this, while Ashlynn just grinned and winked at him.

"This is awkward," the scrawnier one grumbled, climbing on his girlfriend's shoulders as the four couples went off to the pool.

"Don't look at me. Our whole relationship is defined as awkward," Ashlynn replied, carrying Raphael with ease. "Anyhow, it's obvious _I_ have to carry _you_, since you're so tiny. You'd better not be bad at slapping and pushing."

"Unfortunately, I was born with these very small hands," Raphael said dryly. "Let's just get this over with."

"Fine, Mr. Cranky," Ashlynn laughed. "Put a smile on that face!"

"Said the sarcastic one," Raphael reminded her. "Since when are you in such a good mood?"

"Why shouldn't I be?" questioned Ashlynn. "C'mon, you'd do this for me, wouldn't you?"

Raphael paused, and then smiled.

"Yes, alright. For you I would, Ashlynn."

Ashlynn grinned.

"Thanks. Now, here's the game plan…"

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Hours passed, and with the whole day behind them, the twenty-two campers made their way inside the hotel's main lobby to see Chris's bound-to-be-boring presentation.

"Oh it can't be that bad, guys!" Alice chirped, grinning at the other twenty-one contestants. "I mean, he's telling us about another chance to win…money! Moolah! Cash! The big green ones! The--"

"We get the point!" Joel groaned, covering Alice's mouth with his hand. With a yelp, he pulled it away in a few seconds.

"You bit me!" He accused. Alice whistled innocently.

"She _bit_ you?" Jade repeated, raising an eyebrow. "Wow, quite the intimate relationship you got going on there."

"Don't judge me!" Alice cried in dramatic indignation.

Once inside, they all took their seats. Chris was already there, looking relatively disgruntled.

"Alright, I had a video on the computer ready," he said in annoyance. "But it was crushed by Hunter's skateboard."

"An accident, I swear," Hunter snickered, his hands up in defense. Satine covered her mouth with her arm to muffle her laughter.

"Whatever. So, I guess I'll just talk--"

"Is it alright if I sleep?" Warren asked hopefully.

"No! Jeez, you guys are idiots!"

"No need for name calling, Chris," Kevin remarked, chuckling as he and Doe exchanged a high-five. Chris crossed his arms.

"Hostility is said to be my most entertaining quality," Chris informed them.

"Oh really?" Leo questioned. "Who said that?"

"My fan club!" Chris replied.

"All two of them," Riley added. "Chef included." Chris rolled his eyes.

"Can I just get on with the stupid information session?" The campers nodded. "Great. Alright, so, all of you are going home tonight, as you know. Once there, you'll spend the remainder of your summer at home."

"Well _thank_ you Captain Obvious," Ashlynn snickered.

"No interruptions! Anyways, once school starts, the school you'll be going to is actually none other then…_Doe's_ school!"

"WHAT?!" Doe, who had been lightly dozing off in her chair, flew upright. "Are you serious?!"

"Dead serious! Anyways, the travel fee is already paid out. You guys will go and stay there for the school year. When school is not in session, you guys are going to be occupying a hotel. Unfortunately, there's nothing quite as nice and homely as our cabins so the hotel is actually relatively…nice. Frankly, not quite amusing.

"I will be the principal! Chef will be the lunch lady, gym teacher, and nurse!"

"All three of them at once?" Allister asked, surprised. "How to plan to manage that?"

"We have our ways. Now then, all of you will be competing for the prized title of prom king and queen! You guys won't be eliminated, but you'll still work in challenges and whatnot. Should be fun, right?"

"Wrong!" The majority of the campers shouted in unison.

"Couldn't care less. And…the rest of it, you will find out once you get there. It's a secret."

"You can't tell us?" Leti whined.

"If I did, it wouldn't be a secret! Duh! Now then…" Chris continued. "All of you, go home!"

"We can't wait until morning…?" Kenny asked, an eyebrow raised.

"Nope. We booked the boats to come late at night. Cheaper that way."

"Of course," Rachel sighed. She stood upright, and the others followed suit, glancing at their friends and romantic interests as if they really were never going to see each other again.

"Oh don't worry," Chris told the camera. "Sequel's coming up pretty soon. They'll see each other again soon enough. Heck, they'll probably get tired of each other soon enough."

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Doe, Kevin, and Effie were the first ones out of the hotel and packed. Each camper had their own separate boat, same as how they came. Before they had left, Doe had insisted that her winnings were to be paid to her…in cash. She now struggled with a heavy inconvenient sack in an amusing-to-watch manner.

"Well, looks like this is it, guys," Kevin mused, glancing at his girlfriend and his girlfriend's best friend once the three of them had reached the docks near their boats. "The good thing is—we get to see each other in school again!" He grinned, and Effie and Doe grinned back, with moods that were impossible to damper.

"And I have three hundred thousand big ones!" Doe giggled, hauling her sack into her boat. She eyed Effie and Kevin. "And hm…there's _three_ hundred thousand, and _three_ of us…"

"I am not accepting a hundred thousand from you Doe," Kevin said instantly. "No way."

"Me neither!" Effie proclaimed. "I have other (possibly illegal) ways of gettin' my loot!"

"But I want to give you guys something," Doe whined. "You guys are so awesome!"

"We know!" Effie assured her. "But that's a mighty big gift there, buddy! _Too_ big!"

"Oh fine, you guys are no fun," Doe teased. "I'll find someway to repay you, even if I have to trick you to do it."

"I'd like to see you try," Kevin teased back, knocking Doe lightly on the arm. Doe grinned, and without another word, leaned forward and kissed Kevin passionately.

"I'm gonna miss you guys, even if it's only for a little bit!" Doe mused. "Ah well, I suppose I have some catching up to do at home…"

"Me too," Kevin agreed. "Man, it's gonna be weird, not seeing the guys back home during the school year."

The driver of Doe's boat honked at her, apparently a rather impatient fellow.

"Sheesh, fine!" Doe grumbled, climbing up her boat's ladder up to its deck. She waved to Kevin and Effie. "Bye guys! See you in about a week!"

"Bye, Doe!" Effie called out.

"Love you!" Kevin told her.

"Love you too!" Doe giggled, blushing. Her boat sped away, leaving Kevin and Effie on the dock.

"So what are you going to do now that this is over, Effie? Hang out with friends? Family?" Kevin questioned, curious. Effie said nothing at first, but rather, scampered up her boat. Kevin, confused, climbed up his own as well. The boats' engines revved, and Effie eyed Kevin with a mischievous grin.

"Silly boyfriend of my best friend," Effie cackled. "I'm doing the same thing I do every night…_try to take over the world!_"

Her boat drove away into the night, leaving Kevin sincerely wondering about Doe's taste in friends.

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The next two out were Riley and Rosetta.

"You know Kitten, I was thinking about what Leti said…" Riley mused, as they began their walk to the docks. "Would it be better if I was a nicer person? Romantic, even? Would you like that?" Rosetta raised an eyebrow.

"That might just be a little too weird for my tastes. What exactly did you have in mind?"

"Hm…shallow complements?" Riley suggested, as the two reached closer to the docks. "Here's one—your eyes are like pools of honey."

"That did absolutely nothing for me except make me hungry," Rosetta replied.

"What about gifts? Chocolate?"

"Overdone."

"Roses?"

"Thorny and overdone."

Riley, pondering this, paused when the two finally reached the docks.

"What if I watched you while you slept?" Riley offered, half-joking.

"Well now, that's just _creepy_. Been reading _Twilight_, have you?" Rosetta teased. Riley smirked.

"I don't suppose becoming a sparkly white vampire would help my chances, would it?" he questioned.

"Riley," Rosetta said, shaking her head. "You don't _need_ to help your chances."

"Why's tha--" Riley began, but was cut off when Rosetta kissed him.

"Ah," Riley mused, once they had finished. He grinned. "I see." Rosetta winked at him, and climbed up the ladder leading to her boat.

"Never change for anyone Riley," she told him, as the boat began speeding away. "Not even me!"

"Got it," Riley said softly, as he went to the top of his own boat. "See ya…Rosetta."

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Because the author _still_ finds John of no real significance, he gets no part here.

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The two brothers, Joel and Leo, followed out the door with Alice riding on Joel's shoulders. Laura, who had finished packing as well, found herself walking alongside the trio.

"Mush!" the tiny Australian giggled, resting her chin on the twin's curly head.

"How did I agree to this again?" Joel wondered to himself.

"Cause you're a sucker for love!" Leo exclaimed, grinning hugely. "Face it bro, you're going soft!" Laura snickered quietly.

"I am _not_!" Joel protested.

"Oh yes you are, moron," Laura told him. "You went from a conniving whiny twin to playing piggyback with Shorty here," she finished, nodding towards Alice.

"C'mon, Joel," Alice teased. "Admit it. You think I'm awesome! You think I'm preeeetty!"

"Shut it," Joel grumbled back.

"Don't mess up the chance with the first girl who's agreed to go on a date with you," Leo advised.

"The first?" Alice repeated. "Oh ho…this is interesting, mate. Am I the first because you've had no shots with anyone else, or am I the first just because you couldn't help but fall for my charms?"

"Okay fine!" Joel growled. "Yes, you are the first. Yes, I think you're pretty. Yes, I think you're nice. And sweeter than I am, and blah, blah, blah."

"Got it on tape!" Alice crooned suddenly, jumping off Joel's shoulders and landing on the dock where they now stood. She waved a recorder triumphantly. "This is going straight to the internet!"

"You just got bamboozled from one of the ditziest girls on the show," Laura remarked. "Smooth." She shook her head, laughing, and climbed up her boat.

"No goodbye making out for you, meany!" Alice proclaimed as she boarded her boat. "You told me to shut it!" She stuck her tongue out. "So long!"

Joel and Leo watched as the two girls drove off. Then, shaking their heads, they went to their own boat and sat down on the deck.

"God help me…" Joel said slowly, once they began driving away. "I love that crazy chick."

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Following shortly was the newest couple, Satine and Hunter.

"I've got to take you skateboarding sometimes, Satine," Hunter told her. "It's totally awesome!"

"I don't know how to skateboard though…" Satine mused, rubbing her head sheepishly.

"I can teach you!" Hunter offered.

"I'm such a klutz though!" Satine laughed. "I'd have tons of spills and crashes and whatnot…"

"Well, it's only if you want to," mused the skater.

"Ah fine, I bet it'll be fun," Satine concluded. "Only since you're the teacher, though. Bring two skateboards to school, I can learn after classes." Hunter nodded excitedly, and the two stopped walking once they reached their boats.

"I don't have to pick out a pink skateboard for you, do I?" Hunter awkwardly asked her suddenly.

Satine laughed, and kissed Hunter on the cheek.

"No, it doesn't have to be pink," she assured him, throwing her baggage over to her boat and hopping aboard. "Nothing too scary though."

"Got it," Hunter confirmed, tapping his forehead.

"If it _is_ too scary though," Satine warned. "Then you'll be going straight back to the story and buying the girliest skateboard there is!" Hunter gulped.

"Yikes," he said, jumping on his own boat as well. "I'll try to remember that. So long, future skateboard pupil!"

"And so long, future skateboard teacher!" Satine laughed. "I'll see you in school!"

Hunter nodded, and grinned, already picking out matching skateboard designs in his head.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

Warren and Jade were out next, just by chance.

"Oh God," Jade complained. "I'm not walking with you because you're supposed to be a future romantic interest for me, am I?"

"I hope not," Warren whimpered, giving Jade's gothic getup a once-over.

"Good th—I mean, hey! What's that supposed to mean?!" Jade questioned angrily.

"Well, you're kind of scary…" Warren said slowly.

"And you're kind of lazy…" Jade shot back. "Jeez, unbelievable. Next year's gonna be a long year." With that, she jogged ahead of Warren, all the way to her boat.

"Ah boy," Warren groaned. "I can already imagine the fun it's gonna be with _her_ still around."

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The soon-to-be-separated couple, Ashlynn and Raphael, made their way across the Playa de Losers, already saddened by their known fate.

"It's gonna be a long ride home," Ashlynn muttered, glancing over to the horizon. She turned her gaze from the lake to Raphael. "Thanks for everything Raphael, sincerely." She grinned. "You're the best thing that's happened to me here."

"Likewise," Raphael said softly, knowing the goodbye was coming up, but hoping he could delay it just a bit longer. "Honestly, you made Wawanakwa much more fun for me. I jumped off a cliff, for Christ's sake."

"So you do admit that was fun?" Ashlynn laughed.

"Okay no, I still can't believe I agreed to do that. But you get my point," he chuckled, smiling weakly. He suddenly felt very stupid, for he could feel his eyes starting to mist over. Ashlynn hugged him instantly.

"You idiot," she said softly. "It's supposed to be the girl crying at the goodbye." Still, Raphael could see she was starting to cry a bit too. The two kissed, until their boat drivers started to honk at them in impatience.

"Promise you'll write?" Raphael asked.

"Every day," Ashlynn assured him. The two began climbing up to the top of their boats.

"It's gonna be a long school year for you," Raphael admitted nervously, still facing Ashlynn. "Chris, without a doubt, will be trying to tell the audience we broke up or some other ridiculous lie. Not to mention Laura will probably be talking about it too…they really will try to mess it up for us."

"Feh," Ashlynn scoffed, wearing that triumphant, confident grin that Raphael loved. "I'd like to see them try."

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After those two came Rachel and Thomas.

"I'm kind of scared, Thomas," Rachel told him, as the two held hands and walked to the docks. "It's yet another season of drama—fights are sure to ensue."

"But we're the optimistic couple!" Thomas exclaimed. "Mon, we haven't got into a fight during this season, I'm sure we'll be fine in the next!" He grinned reassuringly.

"Alright, alright," Rachel giggled. "I can't argue with that. You're just way too sweet, you know?"

"You wouldn't rather have me be mean, would you?" Thomas asked, confused.

"Course not!" Rachel exclaimed. "I don't think you could even pull of mean if you wanted too!"

"I could try…" Thomas mused. He crossed his arms, smirked, and raised one eyebrow incredulously—looking an awful lot like a certain orange-headed fellow. He opened his mouth as if to say something, but closed it, unsure what to do. Rachel burst out laughing.

"At least you had the pose down!" She told him between laughs.

"I don't think mean is in my genes, mon," Thomas admitted awkwardly. "Maybe I'll just stick with being the optimistic one."

"The optimist and the pacifist," Rachel remarked, rolling her eyes slightly. "I'm sure we'll do swimmingly in a high school filled with angry angsty teens."

"Oh, I'm sure we'll do just fine," Thomas mused. "If not…well…then we'll be reality show has-beens."

"Lovely," Rachel remarked. She hugged Thomas tightly then, since they reached the docks. "Keep grinning Thomas, you know what they say. Laugh, and the whole world laughs with you…"

"And hopefully not _at_ you," Thomas agreed. "Because that, frankly, is not quite as fun."

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Charity and Allister left for the docks next.

"The rest of summer is really gonna be boring compared to what we've done here," Charity laughed. "I can't imagine they can fit explosions and bears into school, either, so next season should be considerably less life-threatening."

"It's gonna be weird without the danger," Allister agreed. "I doubt I'll miss it though. I know what I am gonna miss though…" he glanced at Allister.

"Chef?" Charity guessed. Allister slapped his forehead. "Kidding! I was kidding!"

"Well good," Allister grumbled. "Even though that wasn't very funny."

"Oh, you're laughing on the inside," Charity snickered.

"For a Goth, you're mighty talkative," Allister commented.

"Yes, we'll, it's good to be an abnormally abnormal," Charity replied. "We abnormally abnormal people have to stick together, you know. It's the abnormal code." Allister raised an eyebrow at this—both of them made it to the clearing by then. What, did you think I was going to say docks?

"Okay, now you're just overdoing it," Allister chuckled.

"Well fine then," Charity sighed. "I'll just have to come up with some new jokes then, won't I?"

"Or a new writer," Allister offered.

"Yeah…" Charity mused. "Hey, did we just break the fourth wall again?"

"I think we might've."

"And did we do another discreet insult to the current author?"

"Yup."

"Ah. Same old, same old then."

--------------------------------------------------------------------------

The final couple out was Leti and Kenny.

"Such a pretty night…" Leti mused. "How is it that the nature-y things here are so much nicer here then at Wawanakwa? It's like all rain or sunshine avoids that place…it's a deep dark hole…of doom!"

"Deep dark hole of doom," Kenny echoed. "Yup, that pretty much sums up Camp Wawanakwa. I can't believe we're free of that place."

"But not free of each other!" Leti giggled. "Oh wait, I mean that in a nice way. That came out sounding mean. Everyone we met here is so awesome! 'Cept for Laura of course. Hey, who knows, maybe she'll find a guy next season!"

"Who would date Laura?" Kenny asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Ah, you never know. Maybe deep down Laura has a soft spot. A creamy center. Like a cupcake!"

"Well, there's a thought," Kenny laughed. "Anyways, what do you have planned for the rest of your summer?"

"Hm…shopping, hanging with friends," she winked. "Bragging about my new boyfriend…and you?"

"I honestly don't know," Kenny admitted. "Part of me wants to celebrate that TDI is over, the other part is really sad that I won't see you for a while."

"Well, call me then!" Leti giggled, making the phone sign with her hand. "You have my number on your cell."

"I do?" Kenny asked, surprised.

"Yup! Well, I put it there. One step ahead, and all that. That's okay, right?"

"Sure is," Kenny agreed. "As long as we don't have to talk about shopping. I'm not quite ready for that, yet."

"Oh you will be…" Leti said eerily. Kenny paled. "Oh, you know I'm joking. Alright, looks like we're here…" the two teens reached the destination of their departure.

"I'm trying to think of a snappy punch line to end it here, but coming up blank," Kenny sighed admittedly.

"Same here," Leti giggled. Quickly, she kissed Kenny, and then hugged him.

"It's like Titanic!" Leti wailed. "I want to say I'll never let go, but I have to let go, and you'll turn frozen, and…bleh!"

"Leti, it's okay," Kenny laughed. "It's only for a little while."

"Alright," Leti sniffled. She let go, and hopped onto her boat. "Goodbye! Until we meet again, my love! Heh…I always wanted to say that."

"Bye Leti!" Kenny shouted, as he climbed up on its boat as well. The two boats drove away, leaving Wawanakwa in total silence…

That is, until the seagull with the empty soda can wrapper around its neck flew onto the dock, shouted 'Aflac!' and proceeded to be eaten by a shark. Then, oddly enough, the dock blew up, as if _someone_ just purposely wanted to make up for all the somewhat cheesy goodbyes and the lack of explosions.

Peaceful? Maybe not. But, at least things were back to normal for Total Drama Island.

**(A.N.) IT'S OVER.**

**Yup, done, gone, over, never to be seen again! Well, except for GoP's sequel…which, by the way, deserves another big thanks!**

**Anyways, sorry for the wait, I've been swamped with (excuses, excuses, excuses). Frankly, this chapter was kind of unnecessary/suck-ish. Bleh. **

**I just really want to thank GoP again, and all my loyal reviewers, and anyone who's ever reviewed or read this story!**

**You guys rock! I really don't know what to do, now that this is over! XD**

**Alright, like I said, thanks to all my loyal reviewers who've stuck with this story! I'm gonna miss you guys, it's been an awesome five-or-so months!**

**Goodbye! :)**


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